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(Sun Sentinel)   According to researchers, your sense of smell starts fading around age 40, which is when your propensity towards flatulence increases   (sun-sentinel.com ) divider line
    More: PSA  
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1048 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jul 2014 at 4:19 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-07-21 03:56:43 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-21 04:21:07 PM  
My fiance is unsure if my flatulance could actually increase...
 
2014-07-21 04:22:13 PM  
Recently science has extolled the virtues of smelling farts.
 
2014-07-21 04:22:21 PM  
So, win/win?
 
2014-07-21 04:24:04 PM  
We're approaching the olfactory trifecta today.
 
2014-07-21 04:24:56 PM  
I am geezer; hear me roar.
 
2014-07-21 04:25:16 PM  
An old man visited his doctor for help with a problem.
"Doc, I don't know what's wrong, but I fart all the time. It's weird because they are silent and odorless, but they keep coming out. In fact, I've farted about 6 times just sitting here. What can I do?"
The doctor replied, "Here, take one of these pills every morning and then come see me in a week."
A week later, the old man came back to the doctor and he was upset. "Doc, those pills didn't help - they made it worse! I'm still farting, but now they stink something fierce!"
The doctor replied, "Calm down, sir. Now that we've cleared your sinuses, we can work on your hearing."
 
2014-07-21 04:25:42 PM  
Intelligent design!
 
2014-07-21 04:26:03 PM  
But if I never smelt it, then I never dealt it.  So the laws of fartonomics dictate that the decrease in olfactory prowess is directly proportional to a decrease in flatulence.
 
2014-07-21 04:29:49 PM  
Proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
 
2014-07-21 04:30:16 PM  
 
2014-07-21 04:32:12 PM  
The stench my anus exudes wavers from docile to 'What the hell died in there'. Expelling gas is truly an art to be appreciated. One must be knowledgeable as to what foods to eat, when to hold it in, when to shoot the load. This is not learned overnight. Much patience and diligence is to be expected in order to achieve the desired results. That's the trouble with the younger generations - they will not learn the techniques involved. No wonder America is circling the toilet. I've cleared entire isles in Krogers out. I've infuriated people behind me in Walmart. This requires work and dedication, no more, no less.
 
2014-07-21 04:33:34 PM  
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2014-07-21 04:35:17 PM  
Are we still allowed to blame it on the dog?

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2014-07-21 04:38:23 PM  
stream1.gifsoup.com

"I fart in your general direction!"
 
2014-07-21 04:55:49 PM  
Well, if this finding isn't proof of evolutionary adaptation, I dunno what would be!

It couldn't be the Intelligent Design of a Benevolent Creator, as it adds to the overall misery of the world...
 
2014-07-21 05:07:17 PM  
I don't have a problem with my farts.  Who has a problem with their own farts?
 
2014-07-21 05:16:47 PM  
Never had one in the first place. Checkmate, science!
 
2014-07-21 05:19:56 PM  
i57.tinypic.com
 
2014-07-21 05:36:40 PM  

trappedspirit: I don't have a problem with my farts.  Who has a problem with their own farts?


My farts are fighting an insurgency. On close inspection, they all look like innocent law abiding farts going about their business, but the minute I turn around, they dig up AK's from their cellars and become combatant sharts fighting from the shadows.
 
2014-07-21 05:37:13 PM  

FurbyGoneFubar: Loss of smell is also one of the first warning signs of Alzheimer's


Oh great, I've lost my sense of smell almost completely. The only thing I can smell is poop. I'm doomed.
 
2014-07-21 05:56:45 PM  
Older brother has no sense of smell. Gone by 20. During his years attending university in Boston he improbably raised bees in a marsh area down by the Charles River. Sent me a Mason jar of it once. "Is it good?" he asked. I didn't have the heart to tell him the bees were producing shiate flavored with road salt and diesel. Jeezus that was hideous honey.

No farts, but lordy ..
 
2014-07-21 06:02:36 PM  

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: I've cleared entire isles in Krogers out. I've infuriated people behind me in Walmart.


A good tactic is to go to the local bookstore, and stand in front of the stand of 50 shades of grey, or whatever pretty-man vampire drivel is popular these days. Drop a Silent But Deadly and then shuffle on further down the aisle. If you did the blocking for long enough, chances are as soon as you move 2 or 3 women will immediately step into ground zero. Don't flee though, stay close enough to smile back when they look around furiously.

Another good one is those outdoor sidewalk cafes that leave about 40cm of the sidewalk free for pedestrians to squeeze past. Start a Step Fart (the one where a new fartlet pops out with every step) at the first table and keep going the whole way through. Do not slow down to savor the victory, this is a rookie mistake as you need a good pace to keep the Step Fart stepping. You should be able to get out at least a dozen steps/fartlets as long as you drink beer and don't chew your food properly. Best used on the way home from work when the diners are at the tables and you don't have to fear the shart.
 
2014-07-21 06:30:24 PM  
It's going to get worse? Uh-oh.
 
2014-07-21 06:42:28 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: Are we still allowed to blame it on the dog?

[media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com image 372x485]


Now I'm imagining an android who walks around with its android dog doing that joke with every odd sound in their shoddily crafted rail vehicle, as if some sort of warning/annoyance signal for the riders to invest into their mass transits maintenance programs.
 
2014-07-21 07:32:43 PM  

FurbyGoneFubar: Loss of smell is also one of the first warning signs of Alzheimer's


So...I've Alzheimer's since I was about 12 with lots of sinus infections?  Good to know...

/now mid-40's
 
2014-07-21 07:52:44 PM  
Guess that means I'll have to pay them extra to get closer....

i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-21 09:54:31 PM  

zzrhardy: Don't flee though, stay close enough to smile back when they look around furiously.


I'll bet you're a blast at parties.
 
2014-07-21 10:27:04 PM  
It gets worse at 40? My wife is farked
 
2014-07-21 11:02:46 PM  
The Miracles never cease.
 
2014-07-22 04:34:02 AM  

trappedspirit: I don't have a problem with my farts.  Who has a problem with their own farts?


I was raised by a person who would drop SBD's and run during commercial breaks on TV.
She wouldn't run to the bathroom mind you, just retreat to wait out the stench.
She also gets HIGHLY offended if anyone mentions the smell of feces.
Because it's very rude you see, to draw attention to a fart.
 
2014-07-22 10:50:47 AM  
 that  statement might be true of my mom who has been surprised by Mother nature and Father time:  She has recently started  passing gas, as we all do, about 8 times a day. and "Oh god,  it stinks". all I could say "Welcome to my world, won't you c'mon in".  I like what Dr sansabelt wrote:  it's an art (and a science). I've crop dusted a whole Walmart.  don't tell me that doesn't take some kind of skill. I can only hope my sense of smell fades, I'm 46 and it hasn't faded yet. smells like something died crossed with the pits of Hell. and still I don't give a damn, unless I'm somewhere important where a fart would be bad. 'till then in the words of Robbie burns " Where e'er ye gae (go) let farts gae(go) free, for the lack of a fart was the death of me". Even Ben Franklin said "Fart Proudly", even though he wished there was something you could take that'd make 'em smell a whole lot better. Nope. and yeah, pickled eggs.  Like I need encouragement....

JB
 
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