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(Komo)   Iraq war veteran given ticket for owning 14 therapeutic pet ducks, asks city to put the $150 fine on his bill   (komonews.com ) divider line
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5092 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jul 2014 at 8:56 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-20 06:12:31 PM  
His therapist is a quack.
 
2014-07-20 06:25:23 PM  
Enough with all the ass-kissing that the veterans get.  This isn't ancient Rome, we don't have two-tier citizenship, and if you want to raise 14 ducks go live somewhere that doesn't have neighbors who will object.  Selfish prick.  War's over.  Get a job.
 
2014-07-20 06:59:29 PM  

dkendr: Enough with all the ass-kissing that the veterans get.  This isn't ancient Rome, we don't have two-tier citizenship, and if you want to raise 14 ducks go live somewhere that doesn't have neighbors who will object.  Selfish prick.  War's over.  Get a job.


I don't think I'll ever understand this level of hostility at the smallest thing. Mind boggling.
 
2014-07-20 07:50:40 PM  
Too bad he doesn't have an insurance company that would cover that...
 
2014-07-20 07:53:01 PM  

dkendr: Enough with all the ass-kissing that the veterans get.  This isn't ancient Rome, we don't have two-tier citizenship, and if you want to raise 14 ducks go live somewhere that doesn't have neighbors who will object.  Selfish prick.  War's over.  Get a job.


This.  Seriously, f*cking therapeutic ducks?
 
2014-07-20 08:09:40 PM  
I'm all for therapeutic animals, but how do you land on ducks? They are vile, angry little creatures who would love nothing more than to peck out the eyes of every human on earth. Ducks may be the only animal I don't feel a little pang of guilt about eating. They are mean, and they are delicious.  It's a perfect combination.
 
2014-07-20 08:58:57 PM  
It's not like he fought in one of the good wars
 
2014-07-20 09:05:43 PM  
At this point I have to say, Fark I am disappoint
 
2014-07-20 09:07:33 PM  
The sad thing is that he made a wish to a fairy for 14 million bucks. The fairy was hard of hearing.

But seriously I just found out that my neighbor has two chickens or two roosters or a chicken and a rooster.  The way I found out is last week I was out in the yard and heard some clucking. I looked around but it had stopped, so I just though somebody had the TV on loud or something. The next day the same thing, so now I started thinking that I was going crazy. Then A few days later I saw them take them out and let them walk around the yard. Boy was I relieved.
 
2014-07-20 09:08:23 PM  

Lsherm: I'm all for therapeutic animals, but how do you land on ducks? They are vile, angry little creatures who would love nothing more than to peck out the eyes of every human on earth. Ducks may be the only animal I don't feel a little pang of guilt about eating. They are mean, and they are delicious.  It's a perfect combination.


If you clip their wings when they're young, they aren't nearly as mobile and much easier to subsequently land on. You don' have to lead them as much.
 
2014-07-20 09:08:24 PM  

Lsherm: I'm all for therapeutic animals, but how do you land on ducks? They are vile, angry little creatures who would love nothing more than to peck out the eyes of every human on earth. Ducks may be the only animal I don't feel a little pang of guilt about eating. They are mean, and they are delicious.  It's a perfect combination.


If you raise them from hatchlings do they hate you? Or do they think you're their mama? I honestly want to know because I was attacked by a duck at some point in my life.  Cute, but evil.
 
2014-07-20 09:09:32 PM  

Lsherm: I'm all for therapeutic animals, but how do you land on ducks? They are vile, angry little creatures who would love nothing more than to peck out the eyes of every human on earth. Ducks may be the only animal I don't feel a little pang of guilt about eating. They are mean, and they are delicious.  It's a perfect combination.


Nice.

Geese are even worse. If goose tasted half as good as any other fowl, it would be the microwave/fast food staple of the world and chicken would be a delicacy.
 
2014-07-20 09:10:09 PM  

Maggie_Luna: Lsherm: I'm all for therapeutic animals, but how do you land on ducks? They are vile, angry little creatures who would love nothing more than to peck out the eyes of every human on earth. Ducks may be the only animal I don't feel a little pang of guilt about eating. They are mean, and they are delicious.  It's a perfect combination.

If you raise them from hatchlings do they hate you? Or do they think you're their mama? I honestly want to know because I was attacked by a duck at some point in my life.  Cute, but evil.


Geese are worse, and they leave long terds all over the place.
 
2014-07-20 09:10:34 PM  
For the laaaaand of the FREEEEEEEEEEEEE....and the home of the BRAAAAAAAVE


*wipes tear*

/support the troops
 
2014-07-20 09:11:47 PM  
Why a duck?
 
2014-07-20 09:12:27 PM  
doesn't the Americans with Disabilities Act allow people to have therapy animals?
 
2014-07-20 09:13:58 PM  
You can't blame him for wanting a new duck.
 
2014-07-20 09:14:42 PM  
I read the headline in Gilbert Gottfried's voice.
 
2014-07-20 09:15:16 PM  

dryknife: Why a duck?


He had already tried very small rocks.
 
2014-07-20 09:16:26 PM  

Lsherm: I'm all for therapeutic animals, but how do you land on ducks? They are vile, angry little creatures who would love nothing more than to peck out the eyes of every human on earth. Ducks may be the only animal I don't feel a little pang of guilt about eating. They are mean, and they are delicious.  It's a perfect combination.


You should try camel.
 
2014-07-20 09:19:13 PM  
Iraq war veterans are magic beings with infallible judgment and they are exempt from Earthly laws.
 
2014-07-20 09:19:17 PM  
Ok you decide you need a therapy animal, and somehow you decide a duck is the animal for you. Now what about the other 13? Is it one for each personality or what?
 
2014-07-20 09:19:33 PM  
He likes ducks because they quack him up.
 
2014-07-20 09:20:46 PM  
<Sqlerrrrk>futile try to imitate duck squawk.
 
2014-07-20 09:20:56 PM  
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of bird penis, my ass. You just know the government is going to fowl this thing up.
 
2014-07-20 09:21:45 PM  
fark it, this is getting out of hand. I say no more therapy animals for anyone. Let's just repeal any legislation regarding them and discount the whole thing as a bad idea.
 
2014-07-20 09:24:08 PM  
I need a therapeutic support grizzly. And I request that I be allowed to bring it out in public on a leash. If you demand, I will put a vest on it stating that it is a therapy grizzly.
 
2014-07-20 09:24:31 PM  
Therapeutic ducks

Is this a euphemism?
 
2014-07-20 09:26:17 PM  
ADA recognizes some therapy animals, but not anything labeled "therapy" or "assistance". Trained guide dogs, etc, have to have certified instruction-they count. "Therapy animals" is so broadly used that its become interchangeble with "Service Animals", but they are not the same  thing, nor should they be. I honestly believe that there are some doctors that write the scripts for these assistance animals just to get some of their patients to leave them alone-and I say this AS a physically disabled vet.

I also don't get the fawning over veterans, either. I did my thing, im done. I work with servers and hospital network equipment, now. Im not catastrophically broken, but I just can't do a lot of physical labor anymore and there are some depression issues every now and then. Still, Im more embarrassed than honored when Im approached by someone in a parking lot reacting to my US Army magnet on my car. We aren't saving the world from Communism, or protecting the Homeland, and have frequently been a political pawn and not getting much for it.
 
2014-07-20 09:26:23 PM  

moothemagiccow: It's not like he fought in one of the good wars


They're mostly dead.
 
2014-07-20 09:27:17 PM  
Two words: duck rape.
 
2014-07-20 09:27:29 PM  
This story will not echo through history at all.
 
2014-07-20 09:27:57 PM  

insertsnarkyusername: fark it, this is getting out of hand. I say no more therapy animals for anyone. Let's just repeal any legislation regarding them and discount the whole thing as a bad idea.


please do.  I'm allergic to all sorts of animal dander it ain't fun for me if you bring your dog inside.
 
2014-07-20 09:29:37 PM  

doomjesse: Ok you decide you need a therapy animal, and somehow you decide a duck is the animal for you. Now what about the other 13? Is it one for each personality or what?


That's what I'm wondering.

One? Oook....
14....WTF???
 
2014-07-20 09:30:44 PM  
Look if he wants to fark all those ducks, I say let him.
 
2014-07-20 09:30:57 PM  

clkeagle: Lsherm: I'm all for therapeutic animals, but how do you land on ducks? They are vile, angry little creatures who would love nothing more than to peck out the eyes of every human on earth. Ducks may be the only animal I don't feel a little pang of guilt about eating. They are mean, and they are delicious.  It's a perfect combination.

Nice.

Geese are even worse. If goose tasted half as good as any other fowl, it would be the microwave/fast food staple of the world and chicken would be a delicacy.


I think that is true of birds in general.  I used to live on a fark with chickens.  I swear they would have murdered every human being they laid eyes on if they could.  It was then that I understood why people say birds are really dinosaurs with feathers.  In their tiny, evil little minds, they are all still Tyrannosaurs Rexes, stomping around and terrorizing all the mammals.
 
2014-07-20 09:32:26 PM  

dryknife: Why a duck?


He found a witch, but had to be sure before burning her.
 
2014-07-20 09:35:07 PM  
Why is he wearing a Camelbak?
 
2014-07-20 09:36:37 PM  

ciberido: I used to live on a fark with chickens.


*snerk*
 
2014-07-20 09:37:13 PM  

DrZiffle: Therapeutic ducks

Is this a euphemism?


It is now.
 
2014-07-20 09:38:47 PM  
Could be worse...instead of 14 ducks, it could have been 14 Flo the Progressive Insurance ladies
 
2014-07-20 09:39:30 PM  

Lsherm: They are mean, and they are delicious.  It's a perfect combination.


this thread delivers, esp since I had duck for dinner

JoieD'Zen: His therapist is a quack.


Over in One
 
2014-07-20 09:43:08 PM  

Shirley Ujest: Two words: duck rape.

Lord love a duck!
 
2014-07-20 09:44:51 PM  
It's Coschocton FFS. This isn't a major metro area. its a town of 11K people that is getting smaller every year. If they're locked up, let the guy have his damn ducks. If they keep him from going batshiat and killing people, let the guy have an exception.
 
2014-07-20 09:45:12 PM  

ciberido: I used to live on a fark with chickens


Turning off my computer right farking now
 
2014-07-20 09:45:53 PM  
Being bad enough at soldiering that you get yourself injured doesn't entitle you to ignore misdemeanor-level animal husbandry regulations regarding the proper housing and care of domestic waterfowl.  Preceding sentence is both simple truth and a lot more fun to type than I'd thought it would be.

Seriously, though, if he gets told he can't keep the ducks, that falls pretty firmly in the 'sucks to be you, no one else cares' category.

There are actual government licenses and so on for service animals, so I would suspect there is similar 'official therapeutic' labels for stuff like this.  If there's not a medical professional backed up by some sort of government-recognized board calling these things a medical treatment, his claim that they're therapeutic has about as much legal weight as me claiming the moon is formed form a ball of green cheese.
 
2014-07-20 09:46:35 PM  

911Jenny: doomjesse: Ok you decide you need a therapy animal, and somehow you decide a duck is the animal for you. Now what about the other 13? Is it one for each personality or what?

That's what I'm wondering.

One? Oook....
14....WTF???


Like a crazy old lady with a house full of cats. Therapy ducks, (for the flashbacks)
 
2014-07-20 09:46:57 PM  
What did the duck say to the prostitute?  Put it on my bill, baby.
 
2014-07-20 09:47:01 PM  

Lsherm: I'm all for therapeutic animals, but how do you land on ducks? They are vile, angry little creatures who would love nothing more than to peck out the eyes of every human on earth. Ducks may be the only animal I don't feel a little pang of guilt about eating. They are mean, and they are delicious.  It's a perfect combination.


They can be nasty at times, and shiat everywhere, but feed them even once and a whole parade of ducks will come running when just one sees you. And those are the ducks from the lake that wander around my neighborhood. Older Muskovy male ducks can be fairly mean and ugly, but others are not and ducklings are always cute to see in large groups. The right breed would be essential, as would raising them from hatchling.
 
2014-07-20 09:50:58 PM  
FTFA: Welker served a year in Iraq with the Army National Guard in 2005 and said he came home with a major back injury that required surgery in 2012.
The Department of Veterans Affairs paid for the back surgery but declined to pay for physical therapy recommended by his surgeon and did not provide him with counseling


In the civilized world, this would be considered abysmal, but here is the United States of 'Murica, it's a farking miracle he got any care at all.  A trillion dollars to blow up brown people, but not a cent for services back home!  USA!  USA!

Now, our shiatty treatment of veterans aside, he still can't violate local laws.  I'll bring the orange-chipotle sauce, who's bringing dessert?
 
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