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(WTOP)   Burglars break into Annapolis home, steal 12-pack of Pepsi and soup. "Police estimate the value of the groceries that were taken at $7"   (wtop.com) divider line 87
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1969 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jul 2014 at 6:51 PM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



87 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-20 04:27:57 PM  
Not even proper soup.  Packets.
 
2014-07-20 05:02:53 PM  
So... how many dogs were shot during the investigation?
 
2014-07-20 05:33:54 PM  
They should be institutionalized.
 
2014-07-20 05:38:26 PM  
All they wanted was a Pepsi.
 
2014-07-20 06:28:49 PM  
s3.amazonaws.com

Wow. Even Jean Valjean actually took something edible.
 
2014-07-20 06:33:07 PM  
alliwantedwasapepsi.com
 
2014-07-20 06:55:22 PM  
Allowing for cop math, that's like 10 cents worth of groceries
 
2014-07-20 06:56:14 PM  
Slow news day?

I stubbed my toe earlier, I expect to see a Fark headline.

Something witty, please.
 
2014-07-20 06:56:58 PM  

zamboni: So... how many dogs were shot during the investigation?


Wrong county.
 
2014-07-20 06:58:55 PM  
Hey, it's your tomorrow.
 
2014-07-20 07:07:31 PM  
4 years ago someone drove a stolen car through the front door of my store. This had happened 3 times previously. Each time they stole cigarettes. This time? The guy climbs over the hood, opens up a packet of skittles, sits on the hood and stares at the security camera while he eats the bag before leaving. And being Cleveland, the cops showed up 2 hours later. Did I mention the local station is 4500 FT away? On the same road? 2 hours seems like a reasonable timeframe I guess.
 
2014-07-20 07:15:04 PM  

jayphat: 4 years ago someone drove a stolen car through the front door of my store. This had happened 3 times previously. Each time they stole cigarettes. This time? The guy climbs over the hood, opens up a packet of skittles, sits on the hood and stares at the security camera while he eats the bag before leaving. And being Cleveland, the cops showed up 2 hours later. Did I mention the local station is 4500 FT away? On the same road? 2 hours seems like a reasonable timeframe I guess.


They were probably too busy furiously masturbating onto half burned LeBron James jerseys.
 
2014-07-20 07:18:46 PM  

jayphat: 4 years ago someone drove a stolen car through the front door of my store. This had happened 3 times previously. Each time they stole cigarettes. This time? The guy climbs over the hood, opens up a packet of skittles, sits on the hood and stares at the security camera while he eats the bag before leaving. And being Cleveland, the cops showed up 2 hours later. Did I mention the local station is 4500 FT away? On the same road? 2 hours seems like a reasonable timeframe I guess.


Tell the robbers to break in and rob you during shift change at the police station. You might get lucky and find a cop driving by when it happens.
 
2014-07-20 07:19:23 PM  
Seven fricken dollars?  You earned this.....
i1280.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-20 07:25:44 PM  

brap: [alliwantedwasapepsi.com image 850x331]


came for this...
 
2014-07-20 07:27:38 PM  
They were originally going to steal more, but a waitress asked "is Pepsi OK?"

They left without ordering.
 
2014-07-20 07:30:55 PM  
Annapolis? You could've broken in and stolen someone's yacht but you did this instead?
 
2014-07-20 07:32:03 PM  
i6.photobucket.com

You want a Pepsi, pal, you're gonna pay for it.
 
2014-07-20 07:36:09 PM  

fusillade762: They should be institutionalized.


I don't get...

optikeye: All they wanted was a Pepsi.


Ohhhhhh.  Now I get it.

brap: [alliwantedwasapepsi.com image 850x331]


Oh nah, it's ok, you know I figured it out, just leave me alone, I figured it out.
 
2014-07-20 07:38:27 PM  

optikeye: All they wanted was a Pepsi.


FirstNationalBastard: [i6.photobucket.com image 520x301]

You want a Pepsi, pal, you're gonna pay for it.


Came here for this. Wanted to post this myself, but my internet connection is porkt, and it's taking forever to load anything, let alone images. I haven't seen anything this slow since dial-up. Tried calling AT&T but the wait time for an operator was 20 minutes, so I guess I'm not the only one experiencing crappy service.

Oh, well, I guess I won't be Farking today.
 
2014-07-20 07:41:29 PM  
Oh bullshiat. I steal 3 times that in cheese per week. That's a crock.

/thanks Publix & Kroger & WD for lack of security.
 
2014-07-20 07:45:00 PM  
was in Annapolis a few weeks ago for the finish line of Race Across America (RAAM) and i was completely flabbergasted that every single driver stopped at a cross walk.  Never seen it before.   i could be standing at the curb and a car 25 feet away would slow and stop for me to cross.

/used to dodge and dash.
 
2014-07-20 07:57:02 PM  
Burglars subby? Article says Burglar. Singular.

So, subby, where were you when the crime went down?
 
2014-07-20 08:09:47 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: Annapolis? You could've broken in and stolen someone's yacht but you did this instead?


I take it you're not FROM Naptown....a lot less yachts than in days of yore. Expensive to live here, yet lots of projects around town.

/Taylor Ave runs past the stadium where Navy plays football. Fun fact? Probably not.
 
2014-07-20 08:20:43 PM  

2wolves: zamboni: So... how many dogs were shot during the investigation?

Wrong county.


I did that lol thing.
 
2014-07-20 08:20:49 PM  
EXCUSE ME EVERYONE, BUT SpdrJay IS NOT IMPRESSED BY THIS STORY AND HEADLINE. PLEASE SUBMIT THINGS TO HIM DIRECTLY SO WE CAN IMPROVE EVERYTHING.
 
2014-07-20 08:25:26 PM  
$7? Wish that's all they took from me. Thieves got my ipad my 11 year old laptop and some old camera equipment.

Good part is this. IOS 7 with activation lock enabled. Laptop in it's bag but the laptop had it's main boot hard drive removed. So basically they got 2 non functional computers and some 20 year old camera stuff I couldn't even sell on ebay. Plus about $8 to $10 in change.

Bad part is I don't have them and I doubt the cops will recover them.
 
2014-07-20 08:26:46 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: Annapolis? You could've broken in and stolen someone's yacht but you did this instead?


That part of Annapolis? Weed or crack was likely taken, but not reported.
 
2014-07-20 08:27:04 PM  
Oh and the ipad had a 6 digit passcode and a nearly impossible to crack itunes activation password.
 
2014-07-20 08:28:33 PM  

Moonk: was in Annapolis a few weeks ago for the finish line of Race Across America (RAAM) and i was completely flabbergasted that every single driver stopped at a cross walk.  Never seen it before.   i could be standing at the curb and a car 25 feet away would slow and stop for me to cross.

/used to dodge and dash.


We're used to tourists whose sense of entitlement is stronger than their sense of self-preservation.
 
2014-07-20 08:31:24 PM  

sharphead: jayphat: 4 years ago someone drove a stolen car through the front door of my store. This had happened 3 times previously. Each time they stole cigarettes. This time? The guy climbs over the hood, opens up a packet of skittles, sits on the hood and stares at the security camera while he eats the bag before leaving. And being Cleveland, the cops showed up 2 hours later. Did I mention the local station is 4500 FT away? On the same road? 2 hours seems like a reasonable timeframe I guess.

Tell the robbers to break in and rob you during shift change at the police station. You might get lucky and find a cop driving by when it happens.


I have a 50 ft access drive behind my store. A 15 foot grass yard and a 6 ft privacy fence on the property border. Behind that are brand new homes that, in the hood, will probably be worth +100K. There's a cop living in there. And the alarm can be heard from that point easily......
 
2014-07-20 08:31:28 PM  
Pepsi? Chi..riiiiist, YUCK
 
2014-07-20 08:33:20 PM  

Bslim: Pepsi? Chi..riiiiist, YUCK


Thaaaank you. That's the real issue here.
 
2014-07-20 08:37:52 PM  
Take the money and ramen.
 
2014-07-20 08:44:54 PM  
There is a cookie factory near me that will sell you a garbage bag full of reject cookies for $7. After picking up a bag on my scooter, I went to the store, leaving it on the sidewalk. When I got out, someone had opened up a small hole and taken a few out. Every time I went over a bump on my way back, I left a cookie or two on the road. You'd think you could just ask if you want a cookie that badly, I literally have a garbage bag full of them after all.
 
2014-07-20 08:47:15 PM  

megarian: Bslim: Pepsi? Chi..riiiiist, YUCK

Thaaaank you. That's the real issue here.


You know, I used to like you. I thought "Now here's a Farkette that if I ever met in person, I won't need to bring along my mace and eye bleach." This post alone has ruined that image and you've robbed me of a good nights sleep. I'll send you the bill later.
 
2014-07-20 08:51:00 PM  

jayphat: megarian: Bslim: Pepsi? Chi..riiiiist, YUCK

Thaaaank you. That's the real issue here.

You know, I used to like you. I thought "Now here's a Farkette that if I ever met in person, I won't need to bring along my mace and eye bleach." This post alone has ruined that image and you've robbed me of a good nights sleep. I'll send you the bill later.


I'm sorry about you sh*tty soda pop.

And I am obligated to tell you that mace is not optional around me via the Megarian Act of 2012.
 
2014-07-20 08:51:35 PM  
*YOUR. F*CK.
 
2014-07-20 08:57:12 PM  

Smgth: Fark like a Barsoomian: Annapolis? You could've broken in and stolen someone's yacht but you did this instead?

I take it you're not FROM Naptown....a lot less yachts than in days of yore. Expensive to live here, yet lots of projects around town.

/Taylor Ave runs past the stadium where Navy plays football. Fun fact? Probably not.


In fact, here's what the 1300 block of Taylor Avenue might look like:

https://maps.google.com/maps?q=1301+tyler+avenue,+annapolis,+md&hl=e n& ll=38.956295,-76.504504&spn=0.009778,0.021136&sll=40.697488,-73.979681 &sspn=0.610131,1.352692&hnear=1301+Tyler+Ave,+Annapolis,+Maryland+2140 3&t=m&z=16&layer=c&cbll=38.956295,-76.504504&panoid=6XDojtMd0QlUiha27N JpvQ&cbp=12,308.18,,0,13.61
 
2014-07-20 08:57:25 PM  

megarian: jayphat: megarian: Bslim: Pepsi? Chi..riiiiist, YUCK

Thaaaank you. That's the real issue here.

You know, I used to like you. I thought "Now here's a Farkette that if I ever met in person, I won't need to bring along my mace and eye bleach." This post alone has ruined that image and you've robbed me of a good nights sleep. I'll send you the bill later.

I'm sorry about you sh*tty soda pop.

And I am obligated to tell you that mace is not optional around me via the Megarian Act of 2012.


Apparently all I need to do is bring around Pepsi instead. That's OK. I prefer Mt Dew. And not that shiatty imposter Mt Dew they sell in Canada labeled as Mt Dew. I'M ONTO YOU ONTARIO. PUT THAT CRAP IN THE GARBAGE WHERE IT BELONGS.
 
2014-07-20 08:58:35 PM  

jayphat: megarian: Bslim: Pepsi? Chi..riiiiist, YUCK

Thaaaank you. That's the real issue here.

You know, I used to like you. I thought "Now here's a Farkette that if I ever met in person, I won't need to bring along my mace and eye bleach." This post alone has ruined that image and you've robbed me of a good nights sleep. I'll send you the bill later.


Pepsi's a shiatty mixer. We're all alchys here ...

/mmmmm, rum n coke
 
2014-07-20 09:01:24 PM  

GRCooper: jayphat: megarian: Bslim: Pepsi? Chi..riiiiist, YUCK

Thaaaank you. That's the real issue here.

You know, I used to like you. I thought "Now here's a Farkette that if I ever met in person, I won't need to bring along my mace and eye bleach." This post alone has ruined that image and you've robbed me of a good nights sleep. I'll send you the bill later.

Pepsi's a shiatty mixer. We're all alchys here ...

/mmmmm, rum n coke


I ordered a Rum N Coke in Buffalo at a Sabre's/Leafs game where I had catered seating. I waited, and I shiat you not about this number, 54 farking minutes for that drink. My BIL paid for it, cause I bought his tickets and he'd never seen me drunk so fair trade, and he actually tracked down the farking "waitress" in the end and walked back to the bar with her and got it himself. Jesus was he pissed. I just wanted to drink away yet another 3 goal lead blown by the Leafs in the 3rd.
 
2014-07-20 09:05:26 PM  

jayphat: megarian: jayphat: megarian: Bslim: Pepsi? Chi..riiiiist, YUCK

Thaaaank you. That's the real issue here.

You know, I used to like you. I thought "Now here's a Farkette that if I ever met in person, I won't need to bring along my mace and eye bleach." This post alone has ruined that image and you've robbed me of a good nights sleep. I'll send you the bill later.

I'm sorry about you sh*tty soda pop.

And I am obligated to tell you that mace is not optional around me via the Megarian Act of 2012.

Apparently all I need to do is bring around Pepsi instead. That's OK. I prefer Mt Dew. And not that shiatty imposter Mt Dew they sell in Canada labeled as Mt Dew. I'M ONTO YOU ONTARIO. PUT THAT CRAP IN THE GARBAGE WHERE IT BELONGS.


Okay, I actually laughed out loud.
 
2014-07-20 09:12:18 PM  

GRCooper: Burglars subby? Article says Burglar. Singular.
So, subby, where were you when the crime went down?


...Subby doesn't want us to know that crime is down during a Democratic presidency?
 
2014-07-20 09:17:30 PM  

clkeagle: GRCooper: Burglars subby? Article says Burglar. Singular.
So, subby, where were you when the crime went down?

...Subby doesn't want us to know that crime is down during a Democratic presidency?


Yellow flag! Invoking politics outside of the Politics tab! 15 yard penalty, loss of down!

/mmmmm Bourbon and Coke
 
2014-07-20 09:21:02 PM  

megarian: jayphat: megarian: jayphat: megarian: Bslim: Pepsi? Chi..riiiiist, YUCK

Thaaaank you. That's the real issue here.

You know, I used to like you. I thought "Now here's a Farkette that if I ever met in person, I won't need to bring along my mace and eye bleach." This post alone has ruined that image and you've robbed me of a good nights sleep. I'll send you the bill later.

I'm sorry about you sh*tty soda pop.

And I am obligated to tell you that mace is not optional around me via the Megarian Act of 2012.

Apparently all I need to do is bring around Pepsi instead. That's OK. I prefer Mt Dew. And not that shiatty imposter Mt Dew they sell in Canada labeled as Mt Dew. I'M ONTO YOU ONTARIO. PUT THAT CRAP IN THE GARBAGE WHERE IT BELONGS.

Okay, I actually laughed out loud.


After a lot of research, I found the issue is that, according to Ontario law, all non-cola carbonated beverages are prohibited from having caffeine in them. Problem is I didn't discover that until AFTER I had attempted to consume 3 of them out of a 12 pack. In itty bitty words under the UPC I found the words on what in the US would be the identical regular product. Sneaky bastards. Don't even get me started on their bacon.....
 
2014-07-20 09:46:58 PM  
Are the boys down at the crime lab working overtime on this one?
 
v15
2014-07-20 09:54:13 PM  

SpdrJay: Slow news day?

I stubbed my toe earlier, I expect to see a Fark headline.

Something witty, please.


Not News: Farker complains about being the victim of a stubbed toe. News: Police catch child molestor named Spdrjay in undercover sting dubbed "stubbed toe." Fark: Spdrjay tag to replace Florida and Sick.
 
2014-07-20 09:58:54 PM  

megarian: Bslim: Pepsi? Chi..riiiiist, YUCK

Thaaaank you. That's the real issue here.


Is this acceptable?

cdn2-b.examiner.com
 
2014-07-20 10:01:52 PM  

eas81: megarian: Bslim: Pepsi? Chi..riiiiist, YUCK

Thaaaank you. That's the real issue here.

Is this acceptable?

[cdn2-b.examiner.com image 543x350]


IF you are stockpiling that shiat, I will hunt you down, and I will drink ALL of that(non-diet).
 
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