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(Network World)   Microsoft didn't announce 18,000 layoffs last week. That was a synergy-related headcount restructuring   (networkworld.com) divider line 41
    More: Asinine  
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1806 clicks; posted to Business » on 20 Jul 2014 at 11:04 AM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-20 09:00:10 AM  
I hate that corporate buzzword bullshiat.
 
2014-07-20 11:07:46 AM  
core0.staticworld.net
 
2014-07-20 11:08:41 AM  
But we need 10,000 more H1B visas, because we can't find any qualified Americans.
 
2014-07-20 11:16:51 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: But we need 10,000 more H1B visas, because we can't find any qualified Americans.


www.quickmeme.com
 
2014-07-20 11:31:35 AM  
I'm going to need you to rearrange some matter in your fecal containment chamber in order for me to place my stability cover comfortably into said chamber.
 
2014-07-20 11:31:59 AM  
Easy guide to translating PR verbage:

"We're temporarily restructuring" = "We'll be out of business in a month, start grabbing the copper..."

"We're focusing on a dynamic business model" = "We have no idea what we do. Why clients keep sending us money is a complete mystery"

"That was a synergy related headcount restructuring" = "We know you see right through the verbiage, but were hoping to squeeze in between MH17 headlines.."
 
2014-07-20 11:34:51 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: But we need 10,000 more H1B visas, because we can't find any qualified Americans.


You got it:
Want to come here from a friendly, culturally compatible latin American country and take a shiat job picking lettuce or cutting chicken in a plant?
Get out, ya dirty wetback!!!

Want to come here from a terrorist country and take a previously high paying tech job from an American who actually wanted it, so you can acquire the skills to blow up America?
Welcome, Brother!!
 
2014-07-20 11:37:49 AM  

dumb: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: But we need 10,000 more H1B visas, because we can't find any qualified Americans.

[www.quickmeme.com image 625x770]


Fixed.
 
2014-07-20 11:43:57 AM  
Who didn't see this coming? 160,000 employes.
/Microsoft should keep the Nokia PR and marketing team and dump their own
 
2014-07-20 11:53:42 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Who didn't see this coming? 160,000 employes.
/Microsoft should keep the Nokia PR and marketing team and dump their own


Unfortunately Stephen Elop wasn't part of the layoffs.
 
2014-07-20 11:53:43 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Who didn't see this coming? 160,000 employes.
/Microsoft should keep the Nokia PR and marketing team and dump their own


At&t has 266,000
Google 50,000
Apple 96,000
 
2014-07-20 11:54:17 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: drjekel_mrhyde: Who didn't see this coming? 160,000 employes.
/Microsoft should keep the Nokia PR and marketing team and dump their own

At&t has 266,000
Google 50,000
Apple 96,000


And your point is?
 
2014-07-20 12:00:34 PM  
That's actually funny, unlike IBM's euphemism for layoffs, "resource action"; that one's just bloodless.
 
2014-07-20 12:01:40 PM  

gingerjet: drjekel_mrhyde: Who didn't see this coming? 160,000 employes.
/Microsoft should keep the Nokia PR and marketing team and dump their own

Unfortunately Stephen Elop wasn't part of the layoffs.


Goddamn you almost gave me a heart attack from laughing.
/Fark is off to a good start
 
2014-07-20 12:02:45 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: gingerjet: drjekel_mrhyde: Who didn't see this coming? 160,000 employes.
/Microsoft should keep the Nokia PR and marketing team and dump their own

Unfortunately Stephen Elop wasn't part of the layoffs.

Goddamn you almost gave me a heart attack from laughing.
/Fark is off to a good start

In a good way
 
2014-07-20 12:27:35 PM  
The more I think about it, Weird Al's latest album made Fark obsolete.  Just cut n' paste the lyrics and be done with the thread.

Sports - Sports Song
Business - Mission Statement
Geek - Inactive
Entertainment - Lame Claim to Fame
Politics - Foil
. . . the Main tab being a mixture of Word Crimes, First World Problems and Tacky

Within the last few albums adding "White & Nerdy", "TMZ" et. al. we can get a near-perfect fit.
 
2014-07-20 12:56:54 PM  

jso2897: Want to come here from a terrorist country and take a previously high paying tech job from an American who actually wanted it, so you can acquire the skills to blow up America?
Welcome, Brother!!


And that is how a troll outs itself. You need to work on your skills.
 
2014-07-20 01:10:32 PM  
All I can say is, I'm happy I managed to secure what appears to be a solid permanent job, with good benefits and a nice salary, at a large company just a couple of weeks before Microsoft flooded the market with candidates...
 
2014-07-20 01:12:23 PM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: But we need 10,000 more H1B visas, because we can't find any qualified Americans.


Waaay too wordy. The bumper sticker version: "H1B pre-clearance".
 
2014-07-20 01:12:31 PM  

jso2897: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: But we need 10,000 more H1B visas, because we can't find any qualified Americans.

You got it:
Want to come here from a friendly, culturally compatible latin American country and take a shiat job picking lettuce or cutting chicken in a plant?
Get out, ya dirty wetback!!!

Want to come here from a terrorist country and take a previously high paying tech job from an American who actually wanted it, so you can acquire the skills to blow up America?
Welcome, Brother!!


OK, I'll bite...

India and China are now "terrorist countries?" The majority of H1C visa approvals come from those two countries - first and second, respectively.
 
2014-07-20 01:16:36 PM  

FormlessOne: All I can say is, I'm happy I managed to secure what appears to be a solid permanent job, with good benefits and a nice salary, at a large company just a couple of weeks before Microsoft flooded the market with candidates...


If they suddenly announce that your job is moving to the graveyard shift in Pickle Fork, Mississippi, take it as a sign.
 
2014-07-20 01:19:52 PM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: But we need 10,000 more H1B visas, because we can't find any qualified Americans at a wage we want to pay.


FTFY
 
2014-07-20 01:20:18 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: drjekel_mrhyde: Who didn't see this coming? 160,000 employes.
/Microsoft should keep the Nokia PR and marketing team and dump their own

At&t has 266,000
Google 50,000
Apple 96,000


hey, you know apple has succesful retail stores...half that head count? yup, at retail stores.
 
2014-07-20 01:23:55 PM  
I love how the guy is trying to look like the indian version of steve jobs in that picture.
 
2014-07-20 02:04:23 PM  
"...synergies and strategic alignment..."

What about synergy with reality and customer needs and a strategic alignment of making better products rather than legally making old ones stop working?
 
2014-07-20 02:17:52 PM  

neongoats: I love how the guy is trying to look like the indian version of steve jobs in that picture.


But don't dare call it a cult
 
2014-07-20 02:32:57 PM  

FormlessOne: jso2897: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: But we need 10,000 more H1B visas, because we can't find any qualified Americans.

You got it:
Want to come here from a friendly, culturally compatible latin American country and take a shiat job picking lettuce or cutting chicken in a plant?
Get out, ya dirty wetback!!!

Want to come here from a terrorist country and take a previously high paying tech job from an American who actually wanted it, so you can acquire the skills to blow up America?
Welcome, Brother!!

OK, I'll bite...

India and China are now "terrorist countries?" The majority of H1C visa approvals come from those two countries - first and second, respectively.


What are you a wizard?img.fark.net
 
2014-07-20 03:02:27 PM  

tootse: jso2897: Want to come here from a terrorist country and take a previously high paying tech job from an American who actually wanted it, so you can acquire the skills to blow up America?
Welcome, Brother!!

And that is how a troll outs itself. You need to work on your skills.


I may have laid it on a tad thick, there - but my point still stands.
 
2014-07-20 03:32:32 PM  
Not only did they layoff all those people, but they are redefining their contractor positions.  If you don't know, MS employs thousands of contractors - I'm sure for tax purposes and so they don't have to pay them benefits or have them on the books.  The contractor companies pay them benefits but also take half their paycheck.  Most of their content providers like artists, designers, sound engineers, etc. as well as more entry level stuff like testing are contractors anymore.  That's all fine, except now they are redefining the contracts so all contractors can only be contracted for 16 months at a time and after that, they must be laid off for 6 months.  Currently you either were contracted indefinitely as a vendor and could re-negotiate your contact each time or contracted for a year but then had to take 100 day break before you could get re-hired (if you were at all).

I don't know how developing software is going to work if half your staff and most if not all of your content providers have to constantly rotate out for 6 months at a time.  I'm just wondering how this is going to work for games in particular.  Halo is going to be awful if they have to replace their designers and artists mid-way through the project.

I'm wondering if this is part of Olep's plan to try and tank all the stuff he wanted to sell off if he became CEO.

/One thing I learned from the layoffs though was that Xbox had an entertainment division that made tv shows (or a tv show).  I had no idea.  I guess I will never see it...
 
2014-07-20 05:18:00 PM  

PillsHere: That's all fine, except now they are redefining the contracts so all contractors can only be contracted for 16 months at a time and after that, they must be laid off for 6 months.


That's rather standard.  Except at most companies its 12 months.  I don't have a problem with this - if you have a contractor on staff for longer than that it should be a permanent position or your learn to live without.  And you can't lay off contractors.  Their contract ends.  Contractors are aware of the end date of their employment and the smart ones always have the next gig lined up.

/contracted half my career
 
2014-07-20 06:45:11 PM  
These cuts are nothing compared to the carnage that appears to be coming for Microsofts Contingent and Vendor Staff.   Rumors (and a leaked internal memo) show that MS wants all 70,000+ of them gone in 18 months, more than likely replacing them with outsourced overseas workers.

http://www.geekwire.com/2014/internal-memo-microsoft-cut-external-st af f-18-months-requiring-six-month-break/
 
2014-07-20 06:52:03 PM  

RightWingWacko: more than likely replacing them with outsourced overseas workers


I can't believe they haven't learned yet that outsourcing anything higher than manufacturing jobs only looks good on paper for this quarter and will ultimately bite them in the ass.
 
2014-07-20 06:53:02 PM  

RightWingWacko: These cuts are nothing compared to the carnage that appears to be coming for Microsofts Contingent and Vendor Staff.   Rumors (and a leaked internal memo) show that MS wants all 70,000+ of them gone in 18 months, more than likely replacing them with outsourced overseas workers.

http://www.geekwire.com/2014/internal-memo-microsoft-cut-external-st af f-18-months-requiring-six-month-break/


That's basically what I was referring to in my previous post.  I'm really curious how this is going to play out with their game developers.
 
2014-07-20 07:51:25 PM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: But we need 10,000 more H1B visas, because we can't find any qualified Americans.


Nothing produces hard working employees like having their entire families  freedom tied to a single company...
 
2014-07-20 09:26:02 PM  

RightWingWacko: These cuts are nothing compared to the carnage that appears to be coming for Microsofts Contingent and Vendor Staff.   Rumors (and a leaked internal memo) show that MS wants all 70,000+ of them gone in 18 months, more than likely replacing them with outsourced overseas workers.

http://www.geekwire.com/2014/internal-memo-microsoft-cut-external-st af f-18-months-requiring-six-month-break/


Things like this and the 18,000 employee job cuts just shows Microsoft is in their death throes. We're evolving into a post-PC world and Microsoft can't cope. Apple and Google rule the tablet and phone markets and Microsoft is turning into an also ran. Windows Phone is a joke, the attempt to make Windows 8 a tablet-based OS failed miserably and almost no one has a Surface tablet. The only things keeping Microsoft afloat is their Windows and Office stranglehold, but those won't last forever as tablets are outselling PCs.

Pretty soon, Windows Phone based devices will be on the clearance shelf along with Blackberry and Palm OS devices.
 
2014-07-21 01:49:57 AM  
You see, most of the people who work FOR Microsoft don't work AT Microsoft, because the biggest thing that gets done at Microsoft isn't Software development: It's Sales and Marketing with some finance and Accounting and IT just to make it look like a proper business.... There are lots and lots of "vendors" who do all the actual software development, even if they're doing nothing BUT development for Microsoft. They're not really microsoft employees, but employees of a Microsoft contractor.

So when, for example, a company where the makers work in the same company as the 'highest-cost' employees (sales and marketing), Microsoft gets to fire thousands of actual fabricators and designers, programmers and packagers ... Don't worry, tho, those people will all be hired to work for Microsoft, but probably only if they'll take a 35% pay cut, because you have to pay the executives at the contracting company somehow ... they'll also have to move to one of the ten third-world (yes, I'm using that phrase) nations that have aggressively built sales and marketing relationships with Microsoft (see also: Foxconn)

So if you speak Hindi or Mandarin or Russian or Korean, GOOD NEWS - 180,000 jobs are coming your way!
 
2014-07-21 08:53:03 AM  

PillsHere: Not only did they layoff all those people, but they are redefining their contractor positions.  If you don't know, MS employs thousands of contractors - I'm sure for tax purposes and so they don't have to pay them benefits or have them on the books.  The contractor companies pay them benefits but also take half their paycheck.  Most of their content providers like artists, designers, sound engineers, etc. as well as more entry level stuff like testing are contractors anymore.  That's all fine, except now they are redefining the contracts so all contractors can only be contracted for 16 months at a time and after that, they must be laid off for 6 months.  Currently you either were contracted indefinitely as a vendor and could re-negotiate your contact each time or contracted for a year but then had to take 100 day break before you could get re-hired (if you were at all).

I don't know how developing software is going to work if half your staff and most if not all of your content providers have to constantly rotate out for 6 months at a time.  I'm just wondering how this is going to work for games in particular.  Halo is going to be awful if they have to replace their designers and artists mid-way through the project.

I'm wondering if this is part of Olep's plan to try and tank all the stuff he wanted to sell off if he became CEO.

/One thing I learned from the layoffs though was that Xbox had an entertainment division that made tv shows (or a tv show).  I had no idea.  I guess I will never see it...


This makes me glad that Mantle and SteamOS are moving forward for those of us that game on PC. Consoles might be fine for some, but I demand much higher performance and every available control input option. And I want to run my own server for multi-player (most of the time).

\Only use controllers for a few genres
 
2014-07-21 10:45:15 AM  

Mugato: I hate that corporate buzzword bullshiat.


When my current company bought my old company the HR thug called lay offs "synergies."

I always thought synergy meant both sides help each other. Clearly I was wrong.
 
2014-07-21 12:57:49 PM  
Anyone betting on the increase in Microsoft based viruses and worms?
 
2014-07-21 03:18:55 PM  
So what is it you say you DO do here?

sacrag.com
 
2014-07-21 06:22:41 PM  
And now the contractor layoffs have started, but they won't get counted against MS.
 
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