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(Jezebel)   Wanna create an off-the-hook Guy-talian dish? With the Guy Fieri Dish Generator, you can book your own ticket to Flavortown, bra   (kitchenette.jezebel.com) divider line 73
    More: Amusing, Suzycakes, Guy Fieri, walnuts  
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3243 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Jul 2014 at 11:35 AM (10 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-07-20 10:19:39 AM
F*ck that Guy.
 
2014-07-20 10:27:42 AM
 
2014-07-20 11:39:18 AM
I'd let Guy spray his donkey sauce all over my face
 
2014-07-20 11:41:50 AM

Sid_6.7: F*ck that Guy.


Why? He's a little over the top but thanks to his show I've eaten some great food.

/Wallace Station in Kentucky is farking incredible. I will go two hours out of my way to eat there
 
2014-07-20 11:45:16 AM

scotchcrotch: I'd let Guy spray his donkey sauce all over my face


Um...ok. I think.

/NTTAWWT
 
2014-07-20 11:53:37 AM
Just add a splash of douche?

//guilty pleasure, watching ddd marathon when I'm near a TV with cable.
 
2014-07-20 11:56:40 AM
I don't want to click a Jezebel link.

Would a friendly Farker please link to the work that they're plagiarizing linking to?
 
2014-07-20 11:59:43 AM

rustypouch: I don't want to click a Jezebel link.

Would a friendly Farker please link to the work that they're plagiarizing linking to?


http://eater.com/archives/2014/07/17/guy-fieri-dish-generator.php
 
2014-07-20 11:59:47 AM
If I got a dollar every time he fist bumped someone, I would be a rich man.
 
2014-07-20 12:00:30 PM

KidneyStone: Sid_6.7: F*ck that Guy.

Why? He's a little over the top but thanks to his show I've eaten some great food.

/Wallace Station in Kentucky is farking incredible. I will go two hours out of my way to eat there


This.  The Triple D locator app is a must on every trip now...
 
2014-07-20 12:00:45 PM

Robo Beat: rustypouch: I don't want to click a Jezebel link.

Would a friendly Farker please link to the work that they're plagiarizing linking to?

http://eater.com/archives/2014/07/17/guy-fieri-dish-generator.php


Thanks!
 
2014-07-20 12:04:54 PM

KidneyStone: Sid_6.7: F*ck that Guy.

Why? He's a little over the top but thanks to his show I've eaten some great food.

/Wallace Station in Kentucky is farking incredible. I will go two hours out of my way to eat there


I think it's because he seems to have fun and doesn't try to make eating sound like a magical experience that you can only appreciate if you use poetry and hipsterish talk.  I'm looking at you Bourdain.  Some of us are happy that you can just enjoy food.

/I sound fat
//it's not a coincidence
 
2014-07-20 12:12:40 PM
Given his look, I'm still convinced he arrive here via time machine from 1997.
 
2014-07-20 12:13:18 PM

The_Sponge: Given his look, I'm still convinced he arrived here via time machine from 1997.



FTFM
 
2014-07-20 12:14:21 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-20 12:21:15 PM
Mama Fieri's creamy beef thumbs with twice-baked zucchini shots.

Tequila Abuelita's nitro chicken shooters with mad dog-style pinto pops.

Double scorched Taiwanese cow bacon with XYLTPDK Suzycakes.

Java guava extra-sweet sausage snaps with round-the-world-in-80-days gorgonzola crunchers.

/okay, I'm amused
 
2014-07-20 12:38:45 PM

IMDWalrus: Mama Fieri's creamy beef thumbs with twice-baked zucchini shots.

Tequila Abuelita's nitro chicken shooters with mad dog-style pinto pops.

Double scorched Taiwanese cow bacon with XYLTPDK Suzycakes.

Java guava extra-sweet sausage snaps with round-the-world-in-80-days gorgonzola crunchers.

/okay, I'm amused


Low-Rent Don's Louisiana bastard goat nuggets with General Tso's cauliflower rings.
 
2014-07-20 12:57:24 PM

KidneyStone: Sid_6.7: F*ck that Guy.

Why? He's a little over the top but thanks to his show I've eaten some great food.

/Wallace Station in Kentucky is farking incredible. I will go two hours out of my way to eat there


I'm just being a hater. Mostly because of his hair, and his overpriced bullsh*t at the grocery store.
 
2014-07-20 12:59:43 PM

phenn: IMDWalrus: Mama Fieri's creamy beef thumbs with twice-baked zucchini shots.

Tequila Abuelita's nitro chicken shooters with mad dog-style pinto pops.

Double scorched Taiwanese cow bacon with XYLTPDK Suzycakes.

Java guava extra-sweet sausage snaps with round-the-world-in-80-days gorgonzola crunchers.

/okay, I'm amused

Low-Rent Don's Louisiana bastard goat nuggets with General Tso's cauliflower rings.


Backwards Clem's Tex-Mex chicken scratchers with Guy-Talian yam hammers.
 
2014-07-20 01:05:17 PM
Guy Fieri is why I sometimes root for the terrorists.
 
2014-07-20 01:08:09 PM

Robo Beat: Backwards Clem's Tex-Mex chicken scratchers with Guy-Talian yam hammers


That's farking awesome.
 
2014-07-20 01:09:30 PM

Sid_6.7: KidneyStone: Sid_6.7: F*ck that Guy.

Why? He's a little over the top but thanks to his show I've eaten some great food.

/Wallace Station in Kentucky is farking incredible. I will go two hours out of my way to eat there

I'm just being a hater. Mostly because of his hair, and his overpriced bullsh*t at the grocery store.



I'll give him a slight nod for mentioning Bobby's Hawaiian Style restaurant.

http://www.bobbyshawaiianstylerestaurant.com/main/index.html

/Their new location is practically next door to my local beer shop/taproom.
//So I have that going for me.
///Which is nice.
 
2014-07-20 01:13:38 PM

Sid_6.7: F*ck that Guy.


Every dish ends up being a greasy pork sandwich, served in a dirty ashtray, no matter its name.

 
2014-07-20 01:16:04 PM
Wow. I think I'm going to end up touching myself and clicking this thing all damned day...

Upside-down crunchy goat nuggets with Guy-Talian cuke hoops.
Punk Rock Reggie's extra-saucy beef thumbs with round-the-world-in-80-days broccoli rolls.
Cedar plank crunchy bull scraps with sweet-and-sour spinach knots.
Itchy Pedro's crunchy canary bites with Tuscan-style carrot shooters.
 
2014-07-20 01:18:37 PM
Horny thrice-doused Rocky Mountain oysters with habanero taco tails.
Steven Seagal's double-crispy venison nibbles with brontosaurs potato tippers.
Inside-out Taiwanese venison nibbles with thrice-fried Suzycakes.
Eskimo extra-saucy venison cracklers with Fresno-style taco tails.
 
2014-07-20 01:41:48 PM
Guy's Homophobic Pea Soup flavor blasted Encharitios stuffed Tacos
 
2014-07-20 01:43:20 PM
I love this Guy.
Especially when the camera zooms in when he's stuffing his face with a triple fried meatball pounder.
Then to top it off he blurts out "MONEY" so you can see the 1/2 digested food in his food hole.
 
2014-07-20 01:52:42 PM
Adjunct Professor Andrew's extra-saucy doggie snappers with Kung-Fu style yam hammers.
 
2014-07-20 02:12:10 PM
Eskimo honking pork honk with thrice-fried guac balls.

/honking pork honk
//honk
///HONK
 
2014-07-20 02:20:53 PM

Arachnophobe: Eskimo honking pork honk with thrice-fried guac balls.

/honking pork honk
//honk
///HONK


It's honkingly gorgeous.
 
2014-07-20 02:24:42 PM

litespeed74: I love this Guy.
Especially when the camera zooms in when he's stuffing his face with a triple fried meatball pounder.
Then to top it off he blurts out "MONEY" so you can see the 1/2 digested food in his food hole.


That's one of many things I find annoying about him.  Does he profile interesting restaurants?  Yes.  Some of which I've eaten at, so I can vouch for how good they are.  That said, watching someone eat is already kind of gross, but when they talk with food in their mouths, and they're smacking their lips together, and you can actually see some undigested food still in their mouths as they're talking.....it's just farking disgusting.  Not to mention, he has a limited vocabulary when actually describing the dish he's eating.  Everything is either "money," "righteous", "off the hook/chain/wall," or "dynamite."
 
2014-07-20 02:31:06 PM
He's like the food porn equivalent of an old hairy guy in real porn. I mean, sure, you didn't exactly show up to see him, but they keep putting his face in shots and he won't stop making gross noises. You're trying to enjoy the show, but you really don't want to see more of this farkin'  dude.
 
2014-07-20 02:37:12 PM

Coco LaFemme: litespeed74: I love this Guy.
Especially when the camera zooms in when he's stuffing his face with a triple fried meatball pounder.
Then to top it off he blurts out "MONEY" so you can see the 1/2 digested food in his food hole.

That's one of many things I find annoying about him.  Does he profile interesting restaurants?  Yes.  Some of which I've eaten at, so I can vouch for how good they are.  That said, watching someone eat is already kind of gross, but when they talk with food in their mouths, and they're smacking their lips together, and you can actually see some undigested food still in their mouths as they're talking.....it's just farking disgusting.  Not to mention, he has a limited vocabulary when actually describing the dish he's eating.  Everything is either "money," "righteous", "off the hook/chain/wall," or "dynamite."


That's one of the reasons I really like Andrew Zimmern.  I don't think there's anyone better at describing what he's eating.
 
2014-07-20 02:50:31 PM

SoupGuru: That's one of the reasons I really like Andrew Zimmern. I don't think there's anyone better at describing what he's eating.


I concur.  Especially when he explains why he doesn't like something, or how something might differ from what western palates are accustomed to.
 
2014-07-20 02:58:07 PM
Eh, Double Barreled  Meat Load Blast?

No, no, thanks.
 
2014-07-20 03:22:00 PM

Bslim: Eh, Double Barreled  Meat Load Blast?

No, no, thanks.


scotchcrotch may be intrigued though.
 
2014-07-20 03:26:38 PM

Mentalpatient87: He's like the food porn equivalent of an old hairy guy in real porn. I mean, sure, you didn't exactly show up to see him, but they keep putting his face in shots and he won't stop making gross noises. You're trying to enjoy the show, but you really don't want to see more of this farkin'  dude.


I heart this
 
2014-07-20 03:55:12 PM
dSid_6.7: F*ck that Guy.

I know some tradesman that have done work for him. They tend to concur. The descriptions that come to mind are "sketchy", "shady", and, "douche".
 
2014-07-20 04:14:56 PM

Coco LaFemme: you can actually see some undigested food still in their mouths as they're talking.....it's just farking disgusting


I'd rather see undigested food in his mouth than digested food.
 
2014-07-20 04:22:59 PM
This is a re-run of something Eater original posted after the Times decimated his Times Square restaurant in a review last year.  I guess it was so popular they decided to run it again and get their brother and sister sites to repost it.
 
2014-07-20 04:56:19 PM
I usually cut celebrity "chefs" some slack. Sure, what they do may not be to my taste, but I can see why they appeal to certain people. Bobby Flay, Michael Symon, and Mario Batali really are quite good at what they do, even if their shows don't always highlight that. Sarah Moulton is impeccable, which is why she moved to PBS. Nigella Lawson is accessible and has sex appeal. Rachel Ray doesn't even call herself anything but a cook, and she does provide basically healthy shortcuts that help show people without a lot of skills how to get a home-cooked dinner on the table every night. Giada makes home-cooked Italian, which always tastes good even when it's just middlin'. And Paula Dean is basically a human Carl's - she makes food that you know you shouldn't eat, but, fark it, it tastes good. And even poor, Sandra Lee is there for the people who need to know that if you get people drunk enough on sickeningly sweet cocktails and put enough shiny crap on your table (and call it a "tablescape"), they might not notice how crappy all those cans of crap you dumped on the same platter taste when mixed together.

But Guy Fieri? Kill it with fire.
 
2014-07-20 05:00:02 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: KidneyStone: Sid_6.7: F*ck that Guy.

Why? He's a little over the top but thanks to his show I've eaten some great food.

/Wallace Station in Kentucky is farking incredible. I will go two hours out of my way to eat there

I think it's because he seems to have fun and doesn't try to make eating sound like a magical experience that you can only appreciate if you use poetry and hipsterish talk.  I'm looking at you Bourdain.  Some of us are happy that you can just enjoy food.

/I sound fat
//it's not a coincidence


Fieri won't eat eggs. I hate him for that alone. Man up and have an omelet, you pussy.
 
2014-07-20 05:00:34 PM
No.

I'm not clicking a Lezziehell link for cooking tips. Nope.
 
2014-07-20 05:22:34 PM

fusillade762: Representative of the unwashed masses: KidneyStone: Sid_6.7: F*ck that Guy.

Why? He's a little over the top but thanks to his show I've eaten some great food.

/Wallace Station in Kentucky is farking incredible. I will go two hours out of my way to eat there

I think it's because he seems to have fun and doesn't try to make eating sound like a magical experience that you can only appreciate if you use poetry and hipsterish talk.  I'm looking at you Bourdain.  Some of us are happy that you can just enjoy food.

/I sound fat
//it's not a coincidence

Fieri won't eat eggs. I hate him for that alone. Man up and have an omelet, you pussy.


I think the egg thing is just shtick, with all of the breaded crap he eats it has to be
 
2014-07-20 06:14:22 PM

Nix Nightbird: No.

I'm not clicking a Lezziehell link for cooking tips. Nope.


LEZZIEHELL! SO FUNNIE. DO OBAMA WITH A 0 NEXT!
 
2014-07-20 06:24:57 PM

Arachnophobe: Eskimo honking pork honk with thrice-fried guac balls.

/honking pork honk
//honk
///HONK


If you can't finish the whole order at the restaurant you can take it home in a Honk Bag.
 
2014-07-20 06:27:44 PM

KidneyStone: Sid_6.7: F*ck that Guy.

Why? He's a little over the top but thanks to his show I've eaten some great food.

/Wallace Station in Kentucky is farking incredible. I will go two hours out of my way to eat there


He or the producers or somebody somewhere do indeed pick some great places to visit.  Other than that the only thing watchable about his show is the faces of the owners/chefs of those places.  2/3 of them have a look like, "This publicity is going to pay for my kids' college but holy crap is this guy a douchebag." and the other third look like, "No, genius, adding cayenne to a BBQ rub is not 'off the hook.' I'm seriously thinking of punching you right now."
 
2014-07-20 06:38:59 PM

born_yesterday: SoupGuru: That's one of the reasons I really like Andrew Zimmern. I don't think there's anyone better at describing what he's eating.

I concur.  Especially when he explains why he doesn't like something, or how something might differ from what western palates are accustomed to.


Zimmern chews with his mouth open.  People who chew with their mouth open need to be thrown into a wood chipper feet first.
 
2014-07-20 06:50:23 PM

PepperFreak: Zimmern chews with his mouth open. People who chew with their mouth open need to be thrown into a wood chipper feet first.


I've seen Bourdain do it: it's what happens when you've got a camera crew followings you all the time and someone asking questions while you're eating.
 
2014-07-20 07:09:10 PM
Punk Rock Reggie's thrice-doused doggie snappers with Harlem renaissance beef taffy
 
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