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(Jezebel)   If you are dissatisfied with the amount of ejaculate your partner produces, shooting him in the stomach will not improve the situation   (jezebel.com) divider line 119
    More: Obvious, Opposing Views, gay sex  
•       •       •

12763 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jul 2014 at 1:57 AM (9 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



119 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-07-19 10:29:19 PM
Funny, it's usually the other way around for me.
 
2014-07-19 10:37:10 PM
Maybe she should have kept a spreadsheet and logged the details
 
2014-07-19 10:42:48 PM

TheOnion: Maybe she should have kept a spreadsheet and logged the details


testing.gobanana.co.uk
well played sir, well played.
 
2014-07-19 10:56:16 PM
This is why I'm aggressively marketing individual packets of Guygurt: The yogurt that spurts.  It's copious but not unbelievably so.

You can find it in the dairy section next to the whipped cream.
 
2014-07-19 11:22:02 PM
Jizz thread?
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-07-19 11:36:24 PM

fusillade762: Jizz thread?


Is there such a thing as a SFW jizz image?
 
2014-07-19 11:46:06 PM

433: fusillade762: Jizz thread?

Is there such a thing as a SFW jizz image?

i2.photobucket.com
cdn.styleforum.net
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-07-19 11:59:50 PM
depression-help-blog.feelbetter-counselling-eastlondon.com
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-07-20 12:01:47 AM
image.shutterstock.com
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-07-20 12:02:27 AM
thumb1.shutterstock.com
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-07-20 12:06:02 AM
It's much easier to find pictures of kids getting a water hose to the face, but I just don't feel that rotten.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-07-20 12:27:06 AM

www.peoplespharmacy.com

 
2014-07-20 12:31:36 AM
A lot of people don't realize this but the modern facial is derived from the ancient Japanese tradition of "bukkake." According to this centuries old ritual, it is the first night privilege of a newly married man's friends to gather in a circle around their associate's bride and collectively.... well, you can guess.

There's been some stuff online alleging that this is not accurate and that the origins of bukkake are an urban legend that simplify and perhaps even insult Japanese culture-- but that's entirely untrue.

There was actually an entire episode of mythbusters about this. It's an ancient custom. Bukkake at a Japanese wedding is akin to trick or treating on Halloween in the USA, or eating a cod on Canada Day in Newfoundland. It's just what people do to celebrate.
 
2014-07-20 12:34:44 AM
 
2014-07-20 01:59:28 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-20 02:00:10 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-20 02:01:23 AM
Oh dear sweet jesus, that is the actual reason she gave...

Look lady, there are ways to fix that that do involve foreign objects where they typically don't go, but isn't quite so lethal.

least not usually...
 
2014-07-20 02:01:35 AM
Walton also noted that in her explanation to the police, Bell included some "very graphic" details, including "she liked sex, she expected him to be able to do what he's promised; and she said, in essence, to quote her, she was pissed off, so she shot him."

Sounds kind of like my ex-girlfriend... she was 20 years older than me and knew exactly what she wanted.  I was a piece of meat, and when the piece of meat went on business travel it wasn't pretty.
 
2014-07-20 02:02:00 AM
i758.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-20 02:09:19 AM
Wow, not enough ejaculate from a man who's probably as old as she is. I'm 45, when I get to 58 I'll be more worried about getting hard, staying hard, and ejaculating. I won't be worried about whether I am ejaculating enough.

If my GF wants to shoot me over the amount of my ejaculation, I just hope she has good aim. Seriously, dying after sex in my late 50's early 60's is fine by me. Dying by a jealous lover's gun because she thinks I'm cheating just makes my death better.
 
2014-07-20 02:15:06 AM
Not reading the article, but given the husband-beating thing a link was posted to yesterday, am I to presume that Jezebel is in favor of this?
 
2014-07-20 02:15:11 AM
PeterNorth.JIZZ

/at work not looking him up.
 
2014-07-20 02:16:34 AM
Had to do it...

www.stomptokyo.com
 
2014-07-20 02:22:05 AM
Well, she's guaranteed he'll never come that poorly again, so I guess she made her point?
 
2014-07-20 02:23:12 AM
https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&ei=oF7LU9W2N9SiyASm64B 4&url=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Dra58oCnMaV8&cd=2&ved=0CCAQtwI wAQ&usg=AFQjCNFRwKJ4SmZ7j0eNwj32ULBtgZNQPQ
 
2014-07-20 02:30:21 AM
Tonight , on a very special episode of Sex Sent Me to the ER
 
2014-07-20 02:30:22 AM
A dearth of spooge.
 
2014-07-20 02:32:26 AM
Anybody? Is  soosh playing tonight???
 
2014-07-20 02:32:52 AM

inclemency: https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&ei=oF7LU9W2N9SiyASm64B 4&url=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Dra58oCnMaV8&cd=2&ved=0CCAQtwI wAQ&usg=AFQjCNFRwKJ4SmZ7j0eNwj32ULBtgZNQPQ


Alpha betti spagetti
 
v15
2014-07-20 02:41:15 AM
How come my balls smell like vinegar after not taking a shower for 24 hours?
 
2014-07-20 02:42:47 AM

Lsherm: Funny, it's usually the other way around for me.


Yeah I read that and thought "uh-oh".

img.fark.net
 
2014-07-20 02:45:40 AM

doofusgumby: inclemency: https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&ei=oF7LU9W2N9SiyASm64B 4&url=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Dra58oCnMaV8&cd=2&ved=0CCAQtwI wAQ&usg=AFQjCNFRwKJ4SmZ7j0eNwj32ULBtgZNQPQ

Alpha betti spagetti


Yeh, my apologies. I just posted a link, but I'm on mobile. I can't even check if it works.

It's a Louis CK clip about ejaculate.

/that's the joke.
 
2014-07-20 02:45:54 AM
HairyNevus:

[img.fark.net image 512x465]

Oh, and I really should have posted Dethklok's "I ejaculate Fire"  (NSFW) with that.
 
2014-07-20 02:46:58 AM
 
2014-07-20 02:49:55 AM
 
2014-07-20 02:51:15 AM

Dahnkster: What's up, Doc?


W.T.F.?!
 
2014-07-20 02:55:00 AM
The Perp.   ( gack )

www.guns.com
 
2014-07-20 02:55:42 AM

Dahnkster: What's up, Doc?


That's actually quite funny (and offensive). Well played.
 
2014-07-20 02:56:44 AM

MellwoodDitworthy: The Perp.   ( gack )


This is why we don't RTFA.
 
2014-07-20 03:07:04 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-20 03:07:21 AM

nickdaisy: A lot of people don't realize this but the modern facial is derived from the ancient Japanese tradition of "bukkake." According to this centuries old ritual, it is the first night privilege of a newly married man's friends to gather in a circle around their associate's bride and collectively.... well, you can guess.

There's been some stuff online alleging that this is not accurate and that the origins of bukkake are an urban legend that simplify and perhaps even insult Japanese culture-- but that's entirely untrue.

There was actually an entire episode of mythbusters about this. It's an ancient custom. Bukkake at a Japanese wedding is akin to trick or treating on Halloween in the USA, or eating a cod on Canada Day in Newfoundland. It's just what people do to celebrate.


What that might have looked like.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-20 03:11:15 AM

MellwoodDitworthy: The Perp.   ( gack )

[www.guns.com image 633x695]


www.chud.com
What's up doc?
 
2014-07-20 03:11:16 AM

nickdaisy: A lot of people don't realize this but the modern facial is derived from the ancient Japanese tradition of "bukkake." According to this centuries old ritual, it is the first night privilege of a newly married man's friends to gather in a circle around their associate's bride and collectively.... well, you can guess.

There's been some stuff online alleging that this is not accurate and that the origins of bukkake are an urban legend that simplify and perhaps even insult Japanese culture-- but that's entirely untrue.

There was actually an entire episode of mythbusters about this. It's an ancient custom. Bukkake at a Japanese wedding is akin to trick or treating on Halloween in the USA, or eating a cod on Canada Day in Newfoundland. It's just what people do to celebrate.


That right there is some goddamned world-class trolling right there. Pocket Ninja, when did you get a new screenname?
 
2014-07-20 03:15:26 AM
Probably got a good coupla squirts out his stomach-hole before he died.
 
2014-07-20 03:20:12 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-20 03:20:33 AM
So this is a Jezebel article about a man being shot because. DNRTFA, so was it his fault she shot him?
 
2014-07-20 03:22:21 AM

Kittypie070: [i.imgur.com image 600x450]


Why would you do that to heavy cream?
Heavy cream is for making pastry.
And ice cream.
And coffee.
 
2014-07-20 03:24:43 AM
www.fodrizzle.com
 
2014-07-20 03:29:42 AM

demaL-demaL-yeH: Kittypie070: [i.imgur.com image 600x450]

Why would you do that to heavy cream?
Heavy cream is for making pastry.
And ice cream.
And coffee.


Uhm...because it's funny and the kitty was interested??

/not my kitten actually
//some kinda Scandinavian milk product
 
2014-07-20 03:32:23 AM
sixgun.org
 
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