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(Chicago Sun-Times)   A complete, concise guide that will help Chicagoans survive the annual Pitchfork Hipsterfest   (voices.suntimes.com) divider line 26
    More: PSA, pitchforks, Neutral Milk Hotel, Kendrick Lamar, humans, electronic music, Beats Music, Annie Clark, Grimes  
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1557 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Jul 2014 at 2:22 AM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



26 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-19 09:20:57 PM  
keeping those plastic rain ponchos in the kit bag (R. Kelly).

Heh. It's funny because he peed on somebody.
 
2014-07-20 12:01:42 AM  
Pfft, "Pitchfork." Enjoy your Kids Bop XIX. I'll be attending Chaki Taklla, a festival held at the bottom of an abandoned Sumerian well featuring bands using only duets of salpinx and guquin players while the singers scream their free-form atonal lyrics submerged in organic rain barrels. My favorite band -- they formed and broke up during a single lunar eclipse without recording a single note -- is playing the second stage. Sellout posers.
 
2014-07-20 02:30:46 AM  
I'm a Chicagoan who loves music festivals.

i went to Pitchfork once. it was the worst of crowds in the worst of put together festivals.

never again.
 
2014-07-20 02:40:50 AM  

brandnewchair: I'm a Chicagoan who loves music festivals.

i went to Pitchfork once. it was the worst of crowds in the worst of put together festivals.

never again.


Agreed. Here's my survival guide: Don't go.
 
2014-07-20 02:57:28 AM  

sandbar67: brandnewchair: I'm a Chicagoan who loves music festivals.

i went to Pitchfork once. it was the worst of crowds in the worst of put together festivals.

never again.

Agreed. Here's my survival guide: Don't go.


This and most repeats of this.

Also went to Pitchfork once when I could take public transportation to my apt. Now that I live in the burbs, no real need to go.

/Saw De La Soul

//Still a craptastic fest
 
2014-07-20 03:09:58 AM  
A concert held by a website that ever article is full written by a pretentious douchebag who dances between  passive aggressive and tool cool for the room?

NOPE
 
2014-07-20 03:14:44 AM  
Let's see..


Terrible, doesn't sound like Judas Priest at all
 
2014-07-20 03:55:45 AM  

brandnewchair: I'm a Chicagoan who loves music festivals.

i went to Pitchfork once. it was the worst of crowds in the worst of put together festivals.

never again.


RiotFest is the only major one I'll go to out here.

Saw there was a ChiveFest here a month or so ago, I pray all the victims of date rape from that night will find the courage and strength to overcome and move on with their lives.
 
2014-07-20 04:09:32 AM  
... it doesn't seem to give any ideas for bullet/pitchfork-proof vests...
 
2014-07-20 04:24:57 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Pfft, "Pitchfork." Enjoy your Kids Bop XIX. I'll be attending Chaki Taklla, a festival held at the bottom of an abandoned Sumerian well featuring bands using only duets of salpinx and guquin players while the singers scream their free-form atonal lyrics submerged in organic rain barrels. My favorite band -- they formed and broke up during a single lunar eclipse without recording a single note -- is playing the second stage. Sellout posers.


Bwahaha, you are still listening to...humans? You need to check out "Pod People", a three-piece made up of humpback whales. Their first album "Blowhole Blues" will change your life
 
2014-07-20 04:37:21 AM  
"Stick with a few, oversized statement jewelry pieces...."

I hate it when articles are this vague.  Now I'm going to have to waste at least a day pondering whether I should wear a 50 lb. kettlebell in my Prince Albert or a regulation Olympic javelin in my uvula piercing.
 
2014-07-20 04:37:44 AM  

Shanghai_Flyer: Mr. Coffee Nerves: Pfft, "Pitchfork." Enjoy your Kids Bop XIX. I'll be attending Chaki Taklla, a festival held at the bottom of an abandoned Sumerian well featuring bands using only duets of salpinx and guquin players while the singers scream their free-form atonal lyrics submerged in organic rain barrels. My favorite band -- they formed and broke up during a single lunar eclipse without recording a single note -- is playing the second stage. Sellout posers.

Bwahaha, you are still listening to...humans? You need to check out "Pod People", a three-piece made up of humpback whales. Their first album "Blowhole Blues" will change your life



You listen to bands that record albums? Everyone knows that if you "record" your music to where "people can hear it," you're nothing but a sellout poser who doesn't really care about art.

My favorite bands haven't even met each other or bought any instuments.
 
2014-07-20 05:45:24 AM  
Why can't some of that patented Chicago gun violence break out at an event like this?
 
2014-07-20 06:58:31 AM  
Oh, silly me, I thought this was going to be a different kind of pitchfork hipsters fest. 

i28.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-20 07:26:15 AM  
Hmm, "Chicago" and "survival".  Who's gonna be the first to make this thread all about politics?
 
2014-07-20 07:38:32 AM  
All hipsters need to wear is a t-shirt saying "I'm with stupid" with no arrows pointing anywhere.
 
2014-07-20 08:41:50 AM  
 
2014-07-20 10:49:10 AM  
Where's Harry Dresden when you really need him?
 
2014-07-20 10:52:32 AM  

sandbar67: brandnewchair: I'm a Chicagoan who loves music festivals.

i went to Pitchfork once. it was the worst of crowds in the worst of put together festivals.

never again.

Agreed. Here's my survival guide: Don't go.


That.
 
2014-07-20 11:10:41 AM  

brandnewchair: I'm a Chicagoan who loves music festivals.

i went to Pitchfork once. it was the worst of crowds in the worst of put together festivals.

never again.


I am a Chicago-area guy who loves fests, too. I went to Pitchfork for the first time on Friday night. It is a poorly managed, poorly laid out festival.

But Beck's set was worth it.
 
2014-07-20 03:32:36 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Pfft, "Pitchfork." Enjoy your Kids Bop XIX. I'll be attending Chaki Taklla, a festival held at the bottom of an abandoned Sumerian well featuring bands using only duets of salpinx and guquin players while the singers scream their free-form atonal lyrics submerged in organic rain barrels. My favorite band -- they formed and broke up during a single lunar eclipse without recording a single note -- is playing the second stage. Sellout posers.


Ha! +1
 
2014-07-20 07:28:07 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-21 06:16:50 AM  
I've been digging Perfect Pussy's album "Say Yes to Love." Not totally blown away but pretty farking solid noise-hardcore. Nearing (early) Melt-Banana levels of abrasiveness.
 
2014-07-21 10:16:40 AM  
Went to Pitchfork twice, it was a good excuse to go to Chicago if nothing else. That, and I got to see St. Vincent and Pavement one year, and Tune Yards and Guided By voices the next.

/CSB
 
2014-07-21 10:26:48 AM  
"Just by glancing at the line-up, the emergence of strong women musicians or women-fronted groups is evident."

I guess I don't know how to read these things. I could see that there were some traditionally female names, but there wasn't a single stat on how much they could lift, pull, or push.

But yeah, it's really important to have women-fronted groups. That's better than man-fronted groups. And it's working to repeal these crazy laws we have prohibiting women from performing music.
 
2014-07-21 11:08:54 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Pfft, "Pitchfork." Enjoy your Kids Bop XIX. I'll be attending Chaki Taklla, a festival held at the bottom of an abandoned Sumerian well featuring bands using only duets of salpinx and guquin players while the singers scream their free-form atonal lyrics submerged in organic rain barrels. My favorite band -- they formed and broke up during a single lunar eclipse without recording a single note -- is playing the second stage. Sellout posers.


Wait a minute, you're going to a reunion tour? I kill the members of any new band I like on their way out of their first practice, then burry the bodies in separate unmarked graves just to prevent them from ever lowering themselves to such crass commercialism. Go back to your "best of Coldplay" and leave real music to the truly authentic.
 
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