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(Gizmodo)   As we near the 45th anniversary of the Apollo 11 landing, here's what NASA was planning in case a lunar lander malfunction had left Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin stranded on the moon   (gizmodo.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, moons, William Safire, Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong, orders, Apollo, NASA  
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6616 clicks; posted to Geek » on 19 Jul 2014 at 11:49 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-19 09:31:42 PM  
IBF someone says the moon landing was faked and everyone lines up to punch him in the cock
 
2014-07-19 10:11:23 PM  
even using the word fake should get you punched in the coke.

Oh dear, I'm not sure I thought that one through.
 
2014-07-19 10:29:14 PM  
Gentlemen, the mission has failed, and we cannot rescue you.

But rest assured, we shall always have fond memories of you!

And now, before we disable further radio communications, in tribute to your bravery, here is a song in your honor.

When you walk, through the storm,
Hold your head up high...
 
2014-07-19 10:35:12 PM  
Shut up, Marvin.
 
2014-07-19 10:35:52 PM  
Good thing they redacted that part about calling Michael Collins a "big pussy".
 
2014-07-19 10:55:50 PM  
Gahhh. I'm glad that never had to be said.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-07-19 10:57:05 PM  
"Amy Shira Teitel is live-tweeting the events of the mission as they happened 45 years ago-go check it out!"

...this nobody is re-tweeting Mission Control?  What's the point of this exercise?
 
2014-07-19 11:59:26 PM  
I would think the worst part is being the last one alive on the moon. Just waiting for death.

Hell, at that point, taking off your helmet and passing out is not a bad option.
 
2014-07-20 12:14:55 AM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I would think the worst part is being the last one alive on the moon. Just waiting for death.

Hell, at that point, taking off your helmet and passing out is not a bad option.


I'd dump as much air into my EVA suit as I could and go for a nice long walk.
 
2014-07-20 12:23:13 AM  
I just saw Gravity for the first time a few days ago

Spoiler alert, but the part where George says adios... I couldn't fathom hanging out in space just waiting for my air to run out.  It's horrifying.  Odd to say but at least for these guys, they'd die together?
 
2014-07-20 12:38:41 AM  
38.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-20 12:42:09 AM  
I have always appreciated that the speech Nixon would have delivered had the astronauts been stranded included an adaptation of lines from Rupert Brooke's poem "The Soldier" (If I should die, think only this of me:/That there's some corner of a foreign field/That is forever England...).
 
2014-07-20 12:50:25 AM  
The moon landing was fake!  The real moon landing revealed that the moon was run by well endowed squirrels, so they quickly faked a new landing.  It took another 30 years for those squirrels to be discovered as they hijacked the brain of a drunk man in Kentucky.
 
2014-07-20 12:51:17 AM  
redicecreations.com
The lunar gravity being 1/6  that of Earth's made it easier for the astronauts to move about with their big brass ones.  IYKWIMAITYD.
 
2014-07-20 12:53:40 AM  
a private company should head to the moon just to verify Americans have landed there and left it looking like a trailer park with a flag, a rover that doesnt work, and some golf balls spread out around the place.

/not doubting the moon landing, just saying
 
2014-07-20 12:55:31 AM  

tinyarena: [38.media.tumblr.com image 500x281]


Um....what?
 
2014-07-20 12:58:45 AM  

Outlaw2097: a private company should head to the moon just to verify Americans have landed there and left it looking like a trailer park with a flag, a rover that doesnt work, and some golf balls spread out around the place.

/not doubting the moon landing, just saying


No worries, SpaceX and Branson will be doing all the heavy lifting in the future while NASA plays around with remote controlled cars.
 
2014-07-20 01:09:20 AM  
I just can't imagine the potential survivor's guilt that Collins would have been left with if he had been ordered to return to Earth, leaving the other two behind.
 
2014-07-20 01:09:23 AM  
Why would Stanley Kubrick film an ending where the astronauts got stranded?
 
2014-07-20 01:09:38 AM  

Kittypie070: tinyarena: [38.media.tumblr.com image 500x281]

Um....what?


Well, since you ask. I was looking for a gif of Beldar and Prymaat and Steve Martin doing the SNL Tang, "astronauts to the moon?!" sketch and I stumbled upon this instead...

You know what, now that I hear myself say it, it really is a stupid post. I don't know what to say. I am, of course, very sorry, and, just really embaressed ... excuse me ...

/leaves thread
 
2014-07-20 01:10:28 AM  
Old news is old.
 
2014-07-20 01:18:59 AM  

tinyarena: Kittypie070: tinyarena: [38.media.tumblr.com image 500x281]

Um....what?


Well, since you ask. I was looking for a gif of Beldar and Prymaat and Steve Martin doing the SNL Tang, "astronauts to the moon?!" sketch and I stumbled upon this instead...

You know what, now that I hear myself say it, it really is a stupid post. I don't know what to say. I am, of course, very sorry, and, just really embaressed ... excuse me ...

/leaves thread


No no no no no.

Please don't leave :(
 
2014-07-20 01:25:31 AM  
I suppose Nixon would have had the the plumbers take the "astronauts" taken to the sound stage backlot for a double tap, and buried in the same landfill with the Atari ET cartridges, Jimmy Hoffa, and my youthful virility.
 
2014-07-20 01:34:16 AM  
Our national history would have been a lot different if the Apollo 11 crew had been stranded.

i2.listal.com
 
2014-07-20 01:36:03 AM  
Stranded?  Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin would have just walked off the set and, a few weeks later, in a show of supremacy relative to Russia, Nixon would have demonstrated and announced that America is the first country to clone to astronauts and expedite their development into the adult larval stage.
 
2014-07-20 02:00:56 AM  

tinyarena: Kittypie070: tinyarena: [38.media.tumblr.com image 500x281]

Um....what?

Well, since you ask. I was looking for a gif of Beldar and Prymaat and Steve Martin doing the SNL Tang, "astronauts to the moon?!" sketch and I stumbled upon this instead...

You know what, now that I hear myself say it, it really is a stupid post. I don't know what to say. I am, of course, very sorry, and, just really embaressed ... excuse me ...

/leaves thread


You will NARFTLE THE GARTHOK!
 
2014-07-20 02:26:05 AM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I would think the worst part is being the last one alive on the moon. Just waiting for death.

Hell, at that point, taking off your helmet and passing out is not a bad option.


They wouldn't be "just waiting." This question of what would they do if they couldn't get back was asked at the post-flight press conference  and either Neil or Buzz answered that they wouldn't be "just waiting for death" if the main engine failed when they tried to launch off the surface of the moon -- they would be outside "trying to fix the damn engine."
 
2014-07-20 02:42:05 AM  

Alien Robot: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I would think the worst part is being the last one alive on the moon. Just waiting for death.

Hell, at that point, taking off your helmet and passing out is not a bad option.

They wouldn't be "just waiting." This question of what would they do if they couldn't get back was asked at the post-flight press conference  and either Neil or Buzz answered that they wouldn't be "just waiting for death" if the main engine failed when they tried to launch off the surface of the moon -- they would be outside "trying to fix the damn engine."


It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.
 
2014-07-20 03:04:30 AM  

Alien Robot: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I would think the worst part is being the last one alive on the moon. Just waiting for death.

Hell, at that point, taking off your helmet and passing out is not a bad option.


They wouldn't be "just waiting." This question of what would they do if they couldn't get back was asked at the post-flight press conference  and either Neil or Buzz answered that they wouldn't be "just waiting for death" if the main engine failed when they tried to launch off the surface of the moon -- they would be outside "trying to fix the damn engine."


That's my boys :)

The presence that ennobles the Universe.
 
2014-07-20 03:05:57 AM  

robohobo: Alien Robot: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I would think the worst part is being the last one alive on the moon. Just waiting for death.

Hell, at that point, taking off your helmet and passing out is not a bad option.

They wouldn't be "just waiting." This question of what would they do if they couldn't get back was asked at the post-flight press conference  and either Neil or Buzz answered that they wouldn't be "just waiting for death" if the main engine failed when they tried to launch off the surface of the moon -- they would be outside "trying to fix the damn engine."

It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.


Something tells me they pointedly stocked the medical cabinet with rather more then three lethal doses of morphine sulphate.
 
2014-07-20 03:08:44 AM  

amindofiron: robohobo: Alien Robot: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I would think the worst part is being the last one alive on the moon. Just waiting for death.

Hell, at that point, taking off your helmet and passing out is not a bad option.

They wouldn't be "just waiting." This question of what would they do if they couldn't get back was asked at the post-flight press conference  and either Neil or Buzz answered that they wouldn't be "just waiting for death" if the main engine failed when they tried to launch off the surface of the moon -- they would be outside "trying to fix the damn engine."

It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.

Something tells me they pointedly stocked the medical cabinet with rather more then three lethal doses of morphine sulphate.


It has to be a thing. And rightly so.
 
2014-07-20 03:16:18 AM  

robohobo: It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.


Why bother? Just pop the faceplate. You'd die faster that way.
 
2014-07-20 03:18:05 AM  

Ed Grubermann: robohobo: It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.

Why bother? Just pop the faceplate. You'd die faster that way.


Likely not as painless and euphoric, though.
 
2014-07-20 03:24:51 AM  

Ed Grubermann: robohobo: It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.

Why bother? Just pop the faceplate. You'd die faster that way.


If I have to choose between dying of CO2 toxicity and explosive decompression I'm sure as hell not picking the one that's going to give me a chance to watch my lungs turn inside out before my eyeballs explode.
 
2014-07-20 03:49:47 AM  
That's no moon.
 
2014-07-20 03:57:20 AM  

robohobo: No worries, SpaceX and Branson will be doing all the heavy lifting in the future while NASA plays around with remote controlled cars.


This is so ignorant.

robohobo: It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.


Wow.  You beat it in the same thread.

robohobo: Likely not as painless and euphoric, though.


And yet AGAIN.  Holy crap.
 
2014-07-20 04:01:35 AM  

Bacontastesgood: robohobo: No worries, SpaceX and Branson will be doing all the heavy lifting in the future while NASA plays around with remote controlled cars.

This is so ignorant.

robohobo: It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.

Wow.  You beat it in the same thread.

robohobo: Likely not as painless and euphoric, though.

And yet AGAIN.  Holy crap.


Cry moar.
 
2014-07-20 04:21:13 AM  

Ed Grubermann: robohobo: It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.

Why bother? Just pop the faceplate. You'd die faster that way.


Have you seen what happens to a body in zero air pressure?  You'd be better off suffocating.  MUCH better off suffocating.  Hell, you'd probably be better off being burned at the stake.
 
2014-07-20 04:22:10 AM  

amindofiron: Ed Grubermann: robohobo: It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.

Why bother? Just pop the faceplate. You'd die faster that way.

If I have to choose between dying of CO2 toxicity and explosive decompression I'm sure as hell not picking the one that's going to give me a chance to watch my lungs turn inside out before my eyeballs explode.


Yah, pretty much anything that includes the word "explosive" is going to be a bad way to die.
 
2014-07-20 04:57:04 AM  

Alien Robot: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I would think the worst part is being the last one alive on the moon. Just waiting for death.

Hell, at that point, taking off your helmet and passing out is not a bad option.

They wouldn't be "just waiting." This question of what would they do if they couldn't get back was asked at the post-flight press conference  and either Neil or Buzz answered that they wouldn't be "just waiting for death" if the main engine failed when they tried to launch off the surface of the moon -- they would be outside "trying to fix the damn engine."


Now compare what they said, to what everyone else has been saying in this thread.

*That* is why they were chosen to go up.
 
2014-07-20 05:01:19 AM  

robohobo: Bacontastesgood: robohobo: No worries, SpaceX and Branson will be doing all the heavy lifting in the future while NASA plays around with remote controlled cars.

This is so ignorant.

robohobo: It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.

Wow.  You beat it in the same thread.

robohobo: Likely not as painless and euphoric, though.

And yet AGAIN.  Holy crap.

Cry moar.


No YOU.

Buzz Aldrin has a question for you: what did the five fingers say to the face?
 
2014-07-20 05:10:16 AM  

amindofiron: Ed Grubermann: robohobo: It makes one wonder. Are we not, secretly, providing our astronauts with a fake tooth concealing a cyanide pill? I can't imagine we're not. Not that it's for normal joes to know.

Why bother? Just pop the faceplate. You'd die faster that way.

If I have to choose between dying of CO2 toxicity and explosive decompression I'm sure as hell not picking the one that's going to give me a chance to watch my lungs turn inside out before my eyeballs explode.


That's not what happens.  You fart and burp uncontrollably and you pass out in 10-15 seconds from lack of blood oxygen after your lungs work in reverse and de-oxygenate the blood that your heart is about to pump to your brain.
 
2014-07-20 05:21:04 AM  
Ambivalence:

Have you seen what happens to a body in zero air pressure?  You'd be better off suffocating.  MUCH better off suffocating.  Hell, you'd probably be better off being burned at the stake.

Being burned at the stake kills by suffocation.  Just sayin'.

Zero air pressure doesn't make you insta-splode.  It's not concussive enough and while the human body doesn't really tolerate pressure differentials greater than 1psi or so, the avenues of exit are pretty simple.  Don't hold your breath.

Now, if you were to pressurize yourself up to 130psi or so before venting rapidly, then... well I'd imagine that you wouldn't even know anything had happened.  That's what happened on the Byford Dolphin, and I note that of the four people killed, only the one who was closest to the hatch actually exploded.
 
2014-07-20 06:21:33 AM  
I named my

cuzsis: Alien Robot: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I would think the worst part is being the last one alive on the moon. Just waiting for death.

Hell, at that point, taking off your helmet and passing out is not a bad option.

They wouldn't be "just waiting." This question of what would they do if they couldn't get back was asked at the post-flight press conference  and either Neil or Buzz answered that they wouldn't be "just waiting for death" if the main engine failed when they tried to launch off the surface of the moon -- they would be outside "trying to fix the damn engine."

Now compare what they said, to what everyone else has been saying in this thread.

*That* is why they were chosen to go up.


Guess why my son is named Neil.
 
2014-07-20 06:39:40 AM  
I kept hoping the camera would zoom out just a little
 
2014-07-20 07:29:42 AM  

cuzsis: Alien Robot: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I would think the worst part is being the last one alive on the moon. Just waiting for death.

Hell, at that point, taking off your helmet and passing out is not a bad option.

They wouldn't be "just waiting." This question of what would they do if they couldn't get back was asked at the post-flight press conference  and either Neil or Buzz answered that they wouldn't be "just waiting for death" if the main engine failed when they tried to launch off the surface of the moon -- they would be outside "trying to fix the damn engine."

Now compare what they said, to what everyone else has been saying in this thread.

*That* is why they were chosen to go up.


People making comments in this thread wouldn't instantly suicide either, they'd be trying to fix that shiat as well.
 
2014-07-20 07:30:43 AM  
If I recall, it boiled down to "give a nice speech and then turn off the microphones".
There wasn't anything that could be done.  They'd all be dead by the time a rescue mission could even be attempted.

Maybe the astronauts would have gone for one last walk, or decide to end it quickly by popping the hatch or something.

I'm more curious if we would have ever attempted to recover the bodies, much less go back at all.
Getting to the moon was difficult. Getting back to the same landing site and trying to extract human remains was probably not possible with Apollo equipment.  By the time technology caught up to make it possible, it wouldn't be easy to find the funding for reopening old wounds.

It probably would have changed our perspective to know that the first Lunar explorers were also the first to be entombed on there forever.
 
2014-07-20 07:39:04 AM  

DerAppie: cuzsis: Alien Robot: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I would think the worst part is being the last one alive on the moon. Just waiting for death.

Hell, at that point, taking off your helmet and passing out is not a bad option.

They wouldn't be "just waiting." This question of what would they do if they couldn't get back was asked at the post-flight press conference  and either Neil or Buzz answered that they wouldn't be "just waiting for death" if the main engine failed when they tried to launch off the surface of the moon -- they would be outside "trying to fix the damn engine."

Now compare what they said, to what everyone else has been saying in this thread.

*That* is why they were chosen to go up.

People making comments in this thread wouldn't instantly suicide either, they'd be trying to fix that shiat as well.


If it could be fixed.
The engine they were using was hypergolic, which means you just had to open two valves and you either had thrust or an explosion. Messing around with the plumbing below would have been futile and equally suicidal.

/They actually damaged the start switch and managed to find a workaround.
/If the computer went out they could manually fly the ascent.
/But if the engine failed to start or if the fuel spilled out, it was pretty much a done deal.
 
2014-07-20 08:26:30 AM  
Here is the ultimate proof that the moon landing was real:

The technology needed to fake the moon landing did not exist at the time.
 
2014-07-20 08:36:55 AM  
 
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