Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   What happens when Slate goes full First World Problems? You get someone wondering why she and her friends don't put pictures of their nannies on Facebook   (slate.com) divider line 104
    More: Stupid, public display, Facebook friends  
•       •       •

7714 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2014 at 8:38 PM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



104 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-07-19 06:17:24 PM  
The bio-mom's FB page should include a picture of the woman doing the real mothering/parenting. Bio-mom is too busy breaking gender stereotypes and the "heteronormative".


Is the kid ever this happy around bio-mom? I doubt it.

www.slate.com
 
2014-07-19 06:26:02 PM  
That has gone well beyond "First World Problems" and into that ethereal realm known as "Gwyneth Paltrow Problems."
 
2014-07-19 06:45:29 PM  

Nabb1: That has gone well beyond "First World Problems" and into that ethereal realm known as "Gwyneth Paltrow Problems."


No...

No. That's impossible. Gwyneth Paltrow Problems" is a myth.
 
2014-07-19 07:19:33 PM  
That's it. I'm consciously uncoupling from this thread.
 
2014-07-19 07:19:44 PM  
I read that entire novel about the woman who could do nothing but eat mozzarella sticks for 14 hours, but i couldn't make it to the second paragraph in this thing.
 
2014-07-19 08:43:10 PM  

Cake Hunter: I read that entire novel about the woman who could do nothing but eat mozzarella sticks for 14 hours, but i couldn't make it to the second paragraph in this thing.


URLs make pretty good digests
 
2014-07-19 08:45:56 PM  

Cake Hunter: I read that entire novel about the woman who could do nothing but eat mozzarella sticks for 14 hours, but i couldn't make it to the second paragraph in this thing.


99.9% of Slate is like that.
 
2014-07-19 08:46:11 PM  

fusillade762: That's it. I'm consciously uncoupling from this thread.


If conscious uncoupling = divorce, then unconscious coupling = marriage?
 
2014-07-19 08:48:09 PM  
WTF? This self-centered twit hired a nanny because she didn't know how to change a diaper.  Newsflash raising a child is an on the job learning experience, yes you will screw up diaper changes, yes you will accidentally spill an entire bottle of formula on your kid because it is 3 am, you haven't slept in weeks and and you didn't put the lid on right.  Guess what? Your child won't remember any of it.  On a side note if you are a clueless male you will at some point put a skit on your daughter backwards.
 
2014-07-19 08:48:48 PM  
Or, you could resist the urge to plaster every single meaningless detail of your children's daily lives all over Facebook...
 
2014-07-19 08:51:19 PM  
Phoebe Figalilly is a silly name.
 
2014-07-19 08:52:37 PM  

DubtodaIll: fusillade762: That's it. I'm consciously uncoupling from this thread.

If conscious uncoupling = divorce, then unconscious coupling = marriage?


I'm pretty sure unconscious coupling is illegal.
 
2014-07-19 08:53:03 PM  
 
2014-07-19 08:55:35 PM  

Delta1212: DubtodaIll: fusillade762: That's it. I'm consciously uncoupling from this thread.

If conscious uncoupling = divorce, then unconscious coupling = marriage?

I'm pretty sure unconscious coupling is illegal.


Not necessarily.  My wife agreed that she's always consenting, even if she's asleep.
 
2014-07-19 08:56:38 PM  
The term I use for this is "victory lapping".  The surface message is a complaint but the real message is "I HAVE A NANNY AND YOU DON'T!"  I think a lot lot of the value that people get out of these ridiculously expensive things, situations etc. fades if they're not allowed to use it to piss on someone.
 
2014-07-19 08:57:18 PM  

Blue_Blazer: Delta1212: DubtodaIll: fusillade762: That's it. I'm consciously uncoupling from this thread.

If conscious uncoupling = divorce, then unconscious coupling = marriage?

I'm pretty sure unconscious coupling is illegal.

Not necessarily.  My wife agreed that she's always consenting, even if she's asleep.


The gravy train: where will it stop next?!
 
2014-07-19 08:57:55 PM  
Buy Bitcoin
 
2014-07-19 08:59:23 PM  

hasty ambush: The bio-mom's FB page should include a picture of the woman doing the real mothering/parenting. Bio-mom is too busy breaking gender stereotypes and the "heteronormative".


Is the kid ever this happy around bio-mom? I doubt it.


"Bio-Mom": an unsuccessful bionic "mom" character among Marvel's character rejects. We'll never see a Marvel movie about "Bio-Mom", but I'm sure Pixar will take a swing, and miss.

...What we're we talking about again?

I'm lost again. I'll go home, now. :-)
 
2014-07-19 09:00:27 PM  
 
2014-07-19 09:01:02 PM  
Rich people have been hiring nannies or forcing slaves to raise their children for centuries, including breast feeding, why should today be any different? I'm betting they don't put their nannies on fakebook because they don't want people to know they're illegals.

/just sayin'.
/wrong?
 
2014-07-19 09:02:58 PM  

MiaCulpa: Rich people have been hiring nannies or forcing slaves to raise their children for centuries, including breast feeding, why should today be any different? I'm betting they don't put their nannies on fakebook because they don't want people to know they're illegals.

/just sayin'.
/wrong?


You can tell by looking?
 
2014-07-19 09:03:25 PM  
My favorite "first world problem"

cdn.memegenerator.net
 
2014-07-19 09:06:05 PM  
Came for hot nanny pics.

Leaving sad and in need of suckling, a blankie and a nap.

Oh, and a diaper change.
 
2014-07-19 09:08:52 PM  

12349876: My favorite "first world problem"


That's pretty first-world, as problems go. It could happen in Shanghai, though, so probably not a medalist.
 
2014-07-19 09:09:43 PM  
funixx.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-07-19 09:10:03 PM  

LuckyBastid: The term I use for this is "victory lapping".  The surface message is a complaint but the real message is "I HAVE A NANNY AND YOU DON'T!"  I think a lot lot of the value that people get out of these ridiculously expensive things, situations etc. fades if they're not allowed to use it to piss on someone.


That may be valid, but I think these people from privileged backgrounds think having a nanny is "normal," and not having one would make you a pariah at the local mommy & me.

Either way, I'd assume that daycare is preferable if you want your kid to learn how to share and fight and all that normal kid shiat, but what the hell do I know.
 
2014-07-19 09:10:07 PM  
My private somellier brashly suggested I include his photograph from our recent Bahamas yacht trip, taken by our over-zealous photographer. Such insolence!
 
2014-07-19 09:10:22 PM  
i1280.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-19 09:11:50 PM  
i1280.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-19 09:13:43 PM  

fusillade762: That's it. I'm consciously uncoupling from this thread.



Well, I'm racing full steam ahead.
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-19 09:16:29 PM  
Uber Humper;

Article, page 2:
-
Another mother of two commented, "I am not sure about her immigration status, and sharing her image online could be incredibly invasive." (One answer to these parents: You could simply ask.)
-

From personal experience, this is a trade often run on a 'don't ask, don't tell' basis, like many jobs rich people are too good for. More often, they know and that's why they hired them. Cest la vie.

/didn't actually read the article before the Boobies
 
2014-07-19 09:20:10 PM  

Blue_Blazer: WOOO!  Another Weird Al Thread!

http://popcrush.com/weird-al-yankovic-first-world-problems-video/


Damn it! You beat me to it because I had to watch it again.
 
2014-07-19 09:24:19 PM  
Oh, Fark. Always hating on what you don't have and is therefore "irrelevant." Unless it's alcohol, in which case it's an emergency.

Seriously. My parents raised a family through the social transition from a one-income, local extended family society to a mandatory two-income, mobile and scattered-family society. For a lot of folks, Grandma no longer is around to babysit, and both parents are working because you have to nowadays to afford raising kids, medical problems, college, and retirement. Honestly, single parents awe me and I can only assume they're sacrificing both their own health and retirement planning.

So someone has to watch the kids. Most people use day care, but those who can hire nannies. If you had the coin you might too.

So after centuries of stable family/work patterns, things have changed, and continue to change, dramatically. And that raises lots of questions big and small. One of which happens to be: what's the nature of the relationship with the employee who raises your child?

I'd be pissed with this article if it was saying "take upper-class old England as a model and treat them as a servant who should be invisible and get no public credit." Tfa is exposing this as the default mode of many parents and questioning if that's socially good or right. It argues for a rejection of snobbery and the embracing of an egalitarian relationship with the person who, paid or not, is an intimate part of the family life.

It also argues for truth in advertising, something else Fark usually favors. It urges folks to stop presenting a false "perfect parents" image that hurts others who are struggling to attain that impossibility.

It's a small observation on a situation a percentage of families face. It's an attitude Fark should and, in other situations generally does, support: "get off your high horse and appreciate/recognize the people who help make your life possible."

All the usual Fark values are in there. But because the person is better off than most of us....

Oh Fark, sometimes you mistake hypocrisy for clever snark. This is one of those times.

/welcome to-- yeah, no thanks
 
2014-07-19 09:24:29 PM  

LuckyBastid: The term I use for this is "victory lapping".  The surface message is a complaint but the real message is "I HAVE A NANNY AND YOU DON'T!"  I think a lot lot of the value that people get out of these ridiculously expensive things, situations etc. fades if they're not allowed to use it to piss on someone.


I don't consider that a victory lap.  I would consider someone else raising my child to be a major failure in my life.  I both pity and have scorn for the author of TFA.
 
2014-07-19 09:27:40 PM  

MiaCulpa: Uber Humper;

Article, page 2:
-
Another mother of two commented, "I am not sure about her immigration status, and sharing her image online could be incredibly invasive." (One answer to these parents: You could simply ask.)
-

From personal experience, this is a trade often run on a 'don't ask, don't tell' basis, like many jobs rich people are too good for. More often, they know and that's why they hired them. Cest la vie.

/didn't actually read the article before the Boobies


I hire a Hispanic guy to work on the yard.  'veI worked outside with the guy for many hours chatting about this project and that project, yet I have no idea where he's from. I don't care.  I pay him $15 and hour, which is middle low for the area. He has full time job with a commercial construction company, so I guess he's legit.  And I don't have photos of him.

That being said, if I had kids, I would know everything about the nanny. The dude knows his way around my shed and could steal from me, I can accept that. A nanny is a different story. Citizenship, criminal background, health checks (TB, etc) would all be done.

/maybe if I had THREE kids, w/ the 3rd I would be a little more lenient.
 
2014-07-19 09:30:50 PM  

uber humper: MiaCulpa: Uber Humper;

Article, page 2:
-
Another mother of two commented, "I am not sure about her immigration status, and sharing her image online could be incredibly invasive." (One answer to these parents: You could simply ask.)
-

From personal experience, this is a trade often run on a 'don't ask, don't tell' basis, like many jobs rich people are too good for. More often, they know and that's why they hired them. Cest la vie.

/didn't actually read the article before the Boobies

I hire a Hispanic guy to work on the yard.  'veI worked outside with the guy for many hours chatting about this project and that project, yet I have no idea where he's from. I don't care.  I pay him $15 and hour, which is middle low for the area. He has full time job with a commercial construction company, so I guess he's legit.  And I don't have photos of him.

That being said, if I had kids, I would know everything about the nanny. The dude knows his way around my shed and could steal from me, I can accept that. A nanny is a different story. Citizenship, criminal background, health checks (TB, etc) would all be done.

/maybe if I had THREE kids, w/ the 3rd I would be a little more lenient.



True, once you have a couple of spares, you can relax a bit.
 
2014-07-19 09:34:50 PM  
So what's wrong giving acknowledgement to someone who works for you, AND for people complaining about Slate reporting on something you'd expect Slate to report on? You want to hear about Third World issues, then don't go to websites that do puff stories. Sometimes I think people just look for any little thing to make themselves feel superior over others.

We live in America and on average we have it better than a few countries. When your basic needs are taken care of then you tend to focus on some things that might be trivial to others. I can't wait for the next Fark Football Fantasy League to start up, so I can go biatch and moan in there that those Farkers aren't focusing on Third World Problems enough.
 
2014-07-19 09:35:19 PM  

Hector Remarkable: Phoebe Figalilly is a silly name.


thumbs3.ebaystatic.com

/You'd post it.
 
2014-07-19 09:37:00 PM  

Snarfangel: True, once you have a couple of spares, you can relax a bit.


I've been told not to have just one kid, but a few. That way if things don't work out very well for the one (death, basement dweller, farker, etc), all won't be lost.
 
2014-07-19 09:38:24 PM  
wp.streetwise.co

From the look on Mr. Carson's face, the help seem to have other ways of amusing themselves.
 
2014-07-19 09:38:30 PM  

FarkingReading: Came for hot nanny pics.

Leaving sad and in need of suckling, a blankie and a nap.

Oh, and a diaper change.


img.fark.net
 
2014-07-19 09:42:05 PM  

uber humper: Snarfangel: True, once you have a couple of spares, you can relax a bit.

I've been told not to have just one kid, but a few. That way if things don't work out very well for the one (death, basement dweller, farker, etc), all won't be lost.


Heir and a spare, baby.
 
2014-07-19 09:43:34 PM  
Who wants their boss posting pictures of them on facebook? That is weird.
 
2014-07-19 09:44:20 PM  
As first world problems go, this one at least starts with good intentions.

A comment from TFA:
"Maybe people don't post these photos for the same reason they (hopefully) don't post photos of their expensive cars--because it's in effect showing off one's socioeconomic status.... "

Well, okay, it's not good behavior to show off your expensive car just because you have one, but a nanny is not a car.  She (or he) is a person who is involved in that child's life, and may be somewhat involved in the parents' lives as well.

Is it really more polite to basically hide the nanny's existence from the rest of the world because poor people "might" be offended?  Wouldn't it be more respectful to acknowledge the nanny and the work she (or he) does for them instead of just assuming that nannies should disappear from sight when they aren't convenient?
 
2014-07-19 09:49:42 PM  
FTA :

...a familiar arrangement is a working-class nanny of color employed by a socio-economically privileged white family.

..my sense is that the prospect of sharing images of a white family ministered to by a caregiver of color raises visceral and uncomfortable emotions about race and power many would rather avoid, especially in the breezy, look-how-perfect-we-are world of Facebook and Instagram.

I know on some level I felt this way, too, and in a political culture that shrouds care work in a gray area, there is little pressure to grapple with these emotions at all, much less to do so publicly.


It is easy to dismiss this rumination as old-fashioned guilty white liberal hand-wringing.


It certainly is.
 
2014-07-19 09:49:49 PM  
brimed03:words.

Yeah this.  The wife and I are both 30 years old, live a 2 hour drive for our closest extended family and work a total of 90 hours per week, and my wife's schedule varies. I travel for work maybe once or twice a year as well.  If we ever have kids I hope we'll have enough money for a nanny.  If not it's going to be difficult to get childcare or to provide a stable home.  We don't have much choice though, we both have degrees to pay off and we can't raise a kid in a scummy rental so it's mortgage time too.  The may seem like first world problems but guess what I live in the first world.
 
2014-07-19 09:53:43 PM  

jenny next: Well, okay, it's not good behavior to show off your expensive car just because you have one, but a nanny is not a car.  She (or he) is a person who is involved in that child's life, and may be somewhat involved in the parents' lives as well.


Why not? I mean lots of people post their new cars on facebook should the people who can afford a nicer car not post it?  I mean my truck looks like crap compared to some people's vehicles but some of my friends can't afford it.  Is there some sort of value cap on cars you can and cannot post photos of online?  Buying a new car is exactly the sort of thing somebody might want to share with their friends.
 
2014-07-19 09:55:05 PM  

HighOnCraic: FarkingReading: Came for hot nanny pics.

Leaving sad and in need of suckling, a blankie and a nap.

Oh, and a diaper change.

[img.fark.net image 247x204]


i291.photobucket.com

+1

/took me back to being sick from school and having that on the TV in the afternoon
//no remote
///had to get up to change channels
 
2014-07-19 09:58:09 PM  
According to somebody in their comments section, the real reason wealthy white people don't post pictures of how great their brown nannies are on the internet isn't because there's some underlying liberal guilt about the quandaries of exploitation and socioeconomic differences that challenges the notions of what a family is. The reason is even more First Worldlier than the original question. If rich people see other rich people's nannies doing a great job, they'll try to steal them with a better offer. This amuses me.

It's a First World problem wrapped inside another.
 
2014-07-19 10:05:18 PM  
GORDON:
I don't consider that a victory lap.  I would consider someone else raising my child to be a major failure in my life.  I both pity and have scorn for the author of TFA.

You're not an empowered woman working at Slate.
 
Displayed 50 of 104 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report