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11502 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2014 at 1:39 PM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-19 10:33:32 AM  
Well that wasnt whiny and self-important at all.
 
2014-07-19 11:52:11 AM  
There is palpable tension in senior year of college and the summer immediately after, between those who are getting married and those who are not.

when the hell did you go to college-1957??
 
2014-07-19 12:16:55 PM  
Shut your hole
 
2014-07-19 01:41:57 PM  
Oh honey you have a lot more problems then being engaged if you let other people define you.
 
2014-07-19 01:43:29 PM  
Dimwit problems
 
2014-07-19 01:44:01 PM  

Laocoon: Well that wasnt whiny and self-important at all.


Damn you Laocoon. Beat me to it.
 
2014-07-19 01:44:32 PM  
LOL, 22-year-olds.

My God, you have no idea what you're in for out here.

I miss that blissful ignorance.
 
2014-07-19 01:48:06 PM  
What is it in the past week or so on here? It's like Drew is making a special effort to woo the participation trophy generation.

Hint to young, self involved millennial chick: you will get divorced in ~7 years and still make it into your 30s single and pretty, maybe. Then you'll be getting dicked down by 20 year olds as you celebrate your freedom and sexual maturity. And eventually you will either learn how to actually live life and have a real relationship, or will become an old nasty cougar. Either way, the rest of us don't give a fark, thanks and goodnight.
 
2014-07-19 01:51:51 PM  

what_now: when the hell did you go to college-1957??


psst, it's from an Indiana paper, so I'm gonna assume yes, she did :P
 
2014-07-19 01:52:36 PM  

PleaseHamletDon'tHurtEm: LOL, 22-year-olds.

My God, you have no idea what you're in for out here.

I miss that blissful ignorance.


Oh holy hell this!

Assuming you live an average lifespan sweetheart, you've got 3/4 of it to go yet and you ain't seen nothing yet.
 
2014-07-19 01:53:05 PM  

SquiggsIN: 2. Oh wah wah,you're offended that people assume you'll pause your career to have children because tthat's what people who get married at that age do.


hey, just because you're engaged or married doesn't mean you ever plan on having kids.

/plan to be engaged in a few years
//absolutely no plans on having kids
///girlfriend agrees
 
2014-07-19 01:54:26 PM  
Please feel free to share less of your feelings with the rest of us.
 
2014-07-19 01:54:40 PM  
And then, there are the enablers -- namely article commenter Daniel Dougan:

Have you ever heard of a columnist or a feature writer? Sometimes you can dig deeper into a phenomenon by getting more personal, even bring autobiographical. Not all journalism is straight news reporting, nor should it be. (I have a journalism degree, by the way, so I'm not just making this up.)

What people seem to be glossing over are the deeper issues of feminism that Hannah is addressing through her own experiences. It's one thing to go report on a feminist rally, it's another to point out the more subtle ways these issues come out and make unexpected observations that move the discussion forward. This is actually very solid journalism -- especially for a young woman who is "just an intern." She could teach the crochety (sic) old veteran reporters a thing or two.


The possibilities follow:

1.  Daniel Dougan is the name of her fiancé,

2.  Daniel Dougan is the name of her life coach, or

3.  Daniel Dougan is a virgin and there is no way Hannah will ever sleep with him.
 
2014-07-19 01:55:29 PM  

neongoats: What is it in the past week or so on here? It's like Drew is making a special effort to woo the participation trophy generation.

Hint to young, self involved millennial chick: you will get divorced in ~7 years and still make it into your 30s single and pretty, maybe. Then you'll be getting dicked down by 20 year olds as you celebrate your freedom and sexual maturity. And eventually you will either learn how to actually live life and have a real relationship, or will become an old nasty cougar. Either way, the rest of us don't give a fark, thanks and goodnight.


Wow. You must be fun at parties.

You sound like a dried out Gen-Xer who is clueless as to why, after all these years, your life still sucks. Maybe some of those millennials will help you fight that loneliness by letting you borrow a cougar when they get tired of farking the fine single ladies of your generation.
 
2014-07-19 01:55:39 PM  
"Don't get me wrong: I love the human I'm going to marry. "

i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-19 01:57:08 PM  

Nightshade50: Oh honey you have a lot more problems then being engaged if you let other people define you.


The biggest one that comes to mind is having journalism as a career.
 
2014-07-19 02:00:05 PM  

bigskank: neongoats: What is it in the past week or so on here? It's like Drew is making a special effort to woo the participation trophy generation.

Hint to young, self involved millennial chick: you will get divorced in ~7 years and still make it into your 30s single and pretty, maybe. Then you'll be getting dicked down by 20 year olds as you celebrate your freedom and sexual maturity. And eventually you will either learn how to actually live life and have a real relationship, or will become an old nasty cougar. Either way, the rest of us don't give a fark, thanks and goodnight.

Wow. You must be fun at parties.

You sound like a dried out Gen-Xer who is clueless as to why, after all these years, your life still sucks. Maybe some of those millennials will help you fight that loneliness by letting you borrow a cougar when they get tired of farking the fine single ladies of your generation.


Strike a nerve? I am fun at parties. Sounds like you have a nice wall full of participation trophies though, grats!
 
2014-07-19 02:00:41 PM  
No one needs to know you're engaged, nor does anyone need to congratulate you, and there's no need to write a long-winded article because one 22 year old guy said something dumb. You're mad because people treat you like you're dumb; stop giving them reasons.
 
2014-07-19 02:00:55 PM  
All of a sudden, instead of a career-driven journalist........

We won't miss you.
 
2014-07-19 02:04:02 PM  
Her girlfriend from junior year is probably really pissed off about all this.
 
2014-07-19 02:04:40 PM  

bigskank: neongoats: What is it in the past week or so on here? It's like Drew is making a special effort to woo the participation trophy generation.

Hint to young, self involved millennial chick: you will get divorced in ~7 years and still make it into your 30s single and pretty, maybe. Then you'll be getting dicked down by 20 year olds as you celebrate your freedom and sexual maturity. And eventually you will either learn how to actually live life and have a real relationship, or will become an old nasty cougar. Either way, the rest of us don't give a fark, thanks and goodnight.

Wow. You must be fun at parties.

You sound like a dried out Gen-Xer who is clueless as to why, after all these years, your life still sucks. Maybe some of those millennials will help you fight that loneliness by letting you borrow a cougar when they get tired of farking the fine single ladies of your generation.


I am 44 and I have more girls in their mid 20s throwing their ass at me because either because I am married, or because I am actually a guy with stubble, a job, who does not take himself too seriously, and the cougars love me too. Wait, stop being a pussy.
 
2014-07-19 02:05:24 PM  
And possibly worst of all, two male professors whom I greatly respect told me to be sure I didn't have kids for at least 10 years because it would ruin my career.

Nobody thought to mention future children - and their career-ruining qualities - to Nathan.


Possibly because "Nathan" is not going to be missing days of work, meetings and having his work pushed of onto others while out for morning sickness, OB/GYN appointments and maternity leave and then come back to work demanding to be treated as if he had never missed any work for a personal choice to spawn.


Also judging by the picture and content of the article writer is fat

www.gannett-cdn.com
 
2014-07-19 02:08:53 PM  
"As soon as I got engaged, I was congratulated for that immediately, but not for the new job I'd landed or on my graduation. "

Because for 99.999% of people, the job they do doesn't mean a thing to the rest of the world, ten thousand other people could do it as well as you, and no one will remember you did it 2 seconds after you stop doing it.

Getting married and starting a family... that matters.  That lasts.

If it lasts, of course.  I am biased because I have been married for over 20 years.  But your job doesn't matter and is not important.  Ever.  No matter how much you think it is, it isn't.
 
2014-07-19 02:09:23 PM  
I look forward to her long winded rant about the wedding itself, how everything was wrong, how she wasn't the center of attention etc etc.....I am also thankful I am not the human that is marrying her.
 
v15
2014-07-19 02:10:14 PM  
Wow, with journalistic skills like hers she will be a shoe-in for a housewife!
 
2014-07-19 02:12:14 PM  
Everyone is bagging on it, but I get what she's talking about. It's by no means something new. It's societal gender expectations. Same stuff women have been putting up with since they started getting rights to participate in the workplace on an equal basis with men.

In time it will lessen, but it will take several more generations and whoever is left that is still religious at that time will tend to lag behind. Same as every other long-overdue social update.

And the world keeps turning..... slowly.
 
2014-07-19 02:15:52 PM  
Don't get me wrong: I love the human I'm going to marry.

Well, that's certainly what a literate person might call a suspiciously specific denial.  Is she actually planning to marry "Nathan" Romney or something?

All of a sudden, instead of a career-driven journalist, I am a future housewife.

That is the extremely obvious common-sense level logical implication of you getting married to someone before either of you has any kind of established career with some guarantee of it keeping you even in the same town, yes.  Generally making a decision that actively cuts off your ability to accept 99% of future jobs (getting a carrer-level job in journalism requires a willingness to swap towns) above the entry level is what people would call "becoming a housewife" because you are literally hobbling your professional career to, y'know, get married.

That says something very  real and  verifiable about your priorities, it's not just other people making assumptions.

I can guarantee that the husband is getting similar comments from his smarter friends, too.  Because he's doing the same thing, assuming he's college educated as well-- by crippling his mobility by attaching himself to you before you both have established careers, he's forcing a situation where one or both of you is logically going to have to give up professional advancement to stay physically in the same location as the other.
 
2014-07-19 02:17:09 PM  
Y'know, if being engaged twists your knickers so much, you can just elope.  Problem over.

/new problems, however, beginning
 
2014-07-19 02:17:14 PM  
FTFA:  More women planning weddings before finding fiances
 
2014-07-19 02:21:29 PM  
99 problems but a brain ain't one.
 
2014-07-19 02:22:04 PM  
Quick, somebody show this article to her human so he can run away before it's too late.
 
2014-07-19 02:22:15 PM  

hasty ambush: And possibly worst of all, two male professors whom I greatly respect told me to be sure I didn't have kids for at least 10 years because it would ruin my career.

Nobody thought to mention future children - and their career-ruining qualities - to Nathan.

Possibly because "Nathan" is not going to be missing days of work, meetings and having his work pushed of onto others while out for morning sickness, OB/GYN appointments and maternity leave and then come back to work demanding to be treated as if he had never missed any work for a personal choice to spawn.


Also judging by the picture and content of the article writer is fat

[www.gannett-cdn.com image 534x401]


Also secretly ashamed of the carrot size her human chose, but he'll get that memo later in life.
 
2014-07-19 02:24:05 PM  

bigskank: neongoats: What is it in the past week or so on here? It's like Drew is making a special effort to woo the participation trophy generation.

Hint to young, self involved millennial chick: you will get divorced in ~7 years and still make it into your 30s single and pretty, maybe. Then you'll be getting dicked down by 20 year olds as you celebrate your freedom and sexual maturity. And eventually you will either learn how to actually live life and have a real relationship, or will become an old nasty cougar. Either way, the rest of us don't give a fark, thanks and goodnight.

Wow. You must be fun at parties.

You sound like a dried out Gen-Xer who is clueless as to why, after all these years, your life still sucks. Maybe some of those millennials will help you fight that loneliness by letting you borrow a cougar when they get tired of farking the fine single ladies of your generation.


i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-19 02:25:07 PM  
I don't advise getting engaged at 22, but I also don't discourage it. There is no way to plan when you're going to meet the person you choose to marry, or when you're ready to get married, if you choose to at all. It could be at 22, or it could be at 45. You just can't know.

i was 22 once and knew that was pretty young to tie the knot. It doesn't take much to listen to older, life-experienced people telling the same thing over and over again: you change as you get older--especially from your 20s, 30s and into your 40s. I heard that a lot and believed it.  "You just can't know?" No, but you can get a pretty good grasp that change is literally a huge variable for marriage success if you just pay attention.  Hell, the divorce rate alone has a lot of info one can glean from it.

I'm not saying every 22-year-old who gets married will eventually divorce, but 22-year-olds don't know squat. Especially enough to write a column and expect to be taken seriously.  Sorry, that's just the reality.

/45.
//engaged
 
2014-07-19 02:25:23 PM  
What the old joke?  When a girl gets engaged all of her friends shriek with delight and are envious of her engagement ring (and it had better be a huge one if her fiance knows what's good for him), yet when a guy gets engaged his friends react more to the tune of "Whoa dude, guess you're not gonna hang with your friends anymore"
American women live for three things:  to get invited to the high school prom, to get married, and to have a baby (note that raising that baby is never very high on the list)
 
2014-07-19 02:28:05 PM  
HAHAHAA... she thinks it's going to end when she gets married.... HAHAHAHAHA.... then it just turns to "when are you having kids? You've been married for like 3 minutes now." Also "what, you're married and working? Is husband ok with that? Trying to have it all, eh?" Or when her husband expects her to do all the housework, despite working as many or more hours.

Also I'm laughing that she is surprised by it all. The big wide world is going to be very surprising to her if she ever steps into it.
 
2014-07-19 02:30:23 PM  

neongoats: bigskank: neongoats: What is it in the past week or so on here? It's like Drew is making a special effort to woo the participation trophy generation.

Hint to young, self involved millennial chick: you will get divorced in ~7 years and still make it into your 30s single and pretty, maybe. Then you'll be getting dicked down by 20 year olds as you celebrate your freedom and sexual maturity. And eventually you will either learn how to actually live life and have a real relationship, or will become an old nasty cougar. Either way, the rest of us don't give a fark, thanks and goodnight.

Wow. You must be fun at parties.

You sound like a dried out Gen-Xer who is clueless as to why, after all these years, your life still sucks. Maybe some of those millennials will help you fight that loneliness by letting you borrow a cougar when they get tired of farking the fine single ladies of your generation.

Strike a nerve? I am fun at parties. Sounds like you have a nice wall full of participation trophies though, grats!


Oh she sound mad, doesn't she.
 
2014-07-19 02:30:47 PM  
Future bridzilla that will flip out on her wedding day when a stray cloud blocks the sun for 5 minutes and the ice sculpture melts too fast.
 
2014-07-19 02:40:05 PM  

AngryDragon: "Don't get me wrong: I love the human I'm going to marry. "


That's just what I was thinking. Who talks like that, other than a mentally ill person? Was she turning down offers to marry from other species?
 
2014-07-19 02:41:09 PM  
Um...

At 22, I was raising a 3-year old - by myself - trying to get my career together and working hard with no support from family or friends. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. It made me a strong person and a mother who appreciates what's actually real in life - love of family.

This writer, on the other hand, seems oblivious to what life is - a ride.

Reminds me of a friend who is married to a lovely guy, has two successful adult children, all the money she needs and biatches endlessly when her nail tech farks up her mani.

Stupid people problems.
 
2014-07-19 02:42:50 PM  

Prey4reign: And then, there are the enablers -- namely article commenter Daniel Dougan:

Have you ever heard of a columnist or a feature writer? Sometimes you can dig deeper into a phenomenon by getting more personal, even bring autobiographical. Not all journalism is straight news reporting, nor should it be. (I have a journalism degree, by the way, so I'm not just making this up.)

What people seem to be glossing over are the deeper issues of feminism that Hannah is addressing through her own experiences. It's one thing to go report on a feminist rally, it's another to point out the more subtle ways these issues come out and make unexpected observations that move the discussion forward. This is actually very solid journalism -- especially for a young woman who is "just an intern." She could teach the crochety (sic) old veteran reporters a thing or two.

The possibilities follow:

1.  Daniel Dougan is the name of her fiancé,

2.  Daniel Dougan is the name of her life coach, or

3.  Daniel Dougan is a virgin and there is no way Hannah will ever sleep with him.


"M'lady"
 
2014-07-19 02:46:29 PM  
Nathan, run. Run like hell.
 
2014-07-19 02:46:40 PM  

hasty ambush: And possibly worst of all, two male professors whom I greatly respect told me to be sure I didn't have kids for at least 10 years because it would ruin my career.

Nobody thought to mention future children - and their career-ruining qualities - to Nathan.

Possibly because "Nathan" is not going to be missing days of work, meetings and having his work pushed of onto others while out for morning sickness, OB/GYN appointments and maternity leave and then come back to work demanding to be treated as if he had never missed any work for a personal choice to spawn.


Also judging by the picture and content of the article writer is fat


Based on the size of that chip of a stone, Nathan doesn't love her very much.
 
2014-07-19 02:55:42 PM  

mongbiohazard: Everyone is bagging on it, but I get what she's talking about. It's by no means something new. It's societal gender expectations. Same stuff women have been putting up with since they started getting rights to participate in the workplace on an equal basis with men.

In time it will lessen, but it will take several more generations and whoever is left that is still religious at that time will tend to lag behind. Same as every other long-overdue social update.

And the world keeps turning..... slowly.


Thank you.

Everyone on here would rather call her an attention whore and a biatch and other vaguely misogynistic names than acknowledge the fact that the author is correct--we  do treat women differently in our society, especially in regards to marriage and career, and doing that should not be acceptable.

A woman should be able to get engaged without people asking her about her wedding colors, about her abandoning her career, and other stupid, heteronormative, sexist topics, since they're not asking her fiancé those same questions.  It's just sad.
 
2014-07-19 02:58:05 PM  

austerity101: mongbiohazard: Everyone is bagging on it, but I get what she's talking about. It's by no means something new. It's societal gender expectations. Same stuff women have been putting up with since they started getting rights to participate in the workplace on an equal basis with men.

In time it will lessen, but it will take several more generations and whoever is left that is still religious at that time will tend to lag behind. Same as every other long-overdue social update.

And the world keeps turning..... slowly.

Thank you.

Everyone on here would rather call her an attention whore and a biatch and other vaguely misogynistic names than acknowledge the fact that the author is correct--we  do treat women differently in our society, especially in regards to marriage and career, and doing that should not be acceptable.

A woman should be able to get engaged without people asking her about her wedding colors, about her abandoning her career, and other stupid, heteronormative, sexist topics, since they're not asking her fiancé those same questions.  It's just sad.


The only people I have ever known to ask those "heteronormative" questions is other women.  Guys don't give a crap.
 
2014-07-19 03:04:22 PM  

Laocoon: Well that wasnt whiny and self-important at all.


Joyce Maynard turned that into a career. They're just poor copycats.
 
2014-07-19 03:05:41 PM  

austerity101: mongbiohazard: Everyone is bagging on it, but I get what she's talking about. It's by no means something new. It's societal gender expectations. Same stuff women have been putting up with since they started getting rights to participate in the workplace on an equal basis with men.

In time it will lessen, but it will take several more generations and whoever is left that is still religious at that time will tend to lag behind. Same as every other long-overdue social update.

And the world keeps turning..... slowly.

Thank you.

Everyone on here would rather call her an attention whore and a biatch and other vaguely misogynistic names than acknowledge the fact that the author is correct--we  do treat women differently in our society, especially in regards to marriage and career, and doing that should not be acceptable.

A woman should be able to get engaged without people asking her about her wedding colors, about her abandoning her career, and other stupid, heteronormative, sexist topics, since they're not asking her fiancé those same questions.  It's just sad.


Do you SJW's ever hear yourselves talk?
What do think will happen if people stop asking women about their wedding colors when they announce they're engaged?

Heteronormative Apocalypse that burns with the bitter fury of a million suns and engulfs us all. That's what.
 
2014-07-19 03:05:48 PM  
I was flabbergasted, and that's not a word I use lightly. I never anticipated that type of response.

And she's in journalism?

Did she not have to study Sociology 101, at least?
 
2014-07-19 03:06:51 PM  

austerity101: mongbiohazard: Everyone is bagging on it, but I get what she's talking about. It's by no means something new. It's societal gender expectations. Same stuff women have been putting up with since they started getting rights to participate in the workplace on an equal basis with men.

In time it will lessen, but it will take several more generations and whoever is left that is still religious at that time will tend to lag behind. Same as every other long-overdue social update.

And the world keeps turning..... slowly.

Thank you.

Everyone on here would rather call her an attention whore and a biatch and other vaguely misogynistic names than acknowledge the fact that the author is correct--we  do treat women differently in our society, especially in regards to marriage and career, and doing that should not be acceptable.

A woman should be able to get engaged without people asking her about her wedding colors, about her abandoning her career, and other stupid, heteronormative, sexist topics, since they're not asking her fiancé those same questions.  It's just sad.


then don't talk about getting engaged.
I'm not saying pretend you're not getting married. But if you don't want to be asked about your wedding, don't mention it. She's the one that brings it up as a topic of conversation. Why would you tell a professor you're engaged? I had very close relationships with some of my professors in college and grad school, and it never would have been a topic of conversation.

I read the entire article, and frankly, it sounds like a young 20 something who is surprised to find that the people around her have different expectations of who she is, than how SHE thinks she is. But who they think she is is all in how she presents herself. This is what happens when you're an adult- people don't lavish attention on you and care about every detail- they only talk about how they see you and what they think is important.
 
2014-07-19 03:07:33 PM  
Getting married is the most career-driven thing she could do as a newspaper reporter. She'll need someone to support her when the inevitable layoffs come.
 
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