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(Slate)   "Is there any good way to work the phrase 'I have a mental illness' into an online dating profile?"   (slate.com) divider line 200
    More: Strange, Wuthering Heights, Lykke Li, Victorian novel  
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5044 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2014 at 1:32 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



200 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-07-19 09:44:58 AM  
I read a profile in which she said she was seeing a therapist and wanted to date a man who was also seeing a therapist so they would understand each other better.

I have learned that I do not get on well with mentally ill women. I mean, of the diagnosable kind, not the "women are crazy" kind.
 
2014-07-19 09:49:38 AM  
Just show a picture of the back of your truck:

firebrandprogressives.org
 
2014-07-19 09:50:02 AM  
Just tell them you're a redhead.
 
2014-07-19 09:52:56 AM  
"There are bugs on me all. the. time. How about you?"
 
2014-07-19 09:53:38 AM  
blog.codinghorror.com

+

ih0.redbubble.net
 
2014-07-19 09:55:02 AM  
"I'm a big fan of Jersey Shore."

/since the political joke was already taken...
 
2014-07-19 09:58:08 AM  
Isn't that why they started ChristianMingle.com in the first place?

/I know, I know. I just ruined the thread and guaranteed gigatons of "Oppression! Hate! Worse than a thousand Hitlers riding Roman Lions using guns that fire burning Bibles up nuns skirts!" responses, but the joke was there and so easy. It's the weekend.
 
2014-07-19 09:59:54 AM  
"I don't suffer from a bi-polar disorder. I enjoy it!"
 
2014-07-19 10:10:35 AM  
Mayhaps some people - people who can't keep their own shiat in order - should work on their own issues before inviting someone into their lives to share them.  Just a thought.
 
2014-07-19 10:16:47 AM  
Nope. That's something for a third date, or second if it feels right.

Definitely something that needs to be said in person.
 
2014-07-19 10:20:53 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Worse than a thousand Hitlers riding Roman Lions using guns that fire burning Bibles up nuns skirts!"


Is now replacing "Reagan and Jesus double-teaming a crying Janeane Garofalo" as your Farkie.
 
2014-07-19 10:20:57 AM  
"My fark handle is ____"
 
2014-07-19 10:45:26 AM  
Mentally handi-capable
 
2014-07-19 10:52:51 AM  
Is it "count cracks in the sidewalk" OCD or "clean the house after sex" OCD?

This is important.
 
2014-07-19 11:31:25 AM  
"I like long walks on the beach, digging big holes at low tide, and dropping body parts into them."
 
2014-07-19 11:41:29 AM  

HawgWild: "I don't suffer from a bi-polar disorder. I enjoy it!"


This is what I'd personally go with.

Actually I was going through crises  in being caregiver to my late stepfather slowly succumbing to CHF, when, describing how manic my life had become, the fellow who became my current BF spoke up to express his affection for me.

We hadn't actually met in person yet, but we'd talked a lot about our various interests, via IRC of all places. I tried to waive him off for his own safety, citing that my life was currently "drama central", that I'm mildly OCD, and will manically clean my house at 4am for no reason if I'm facing *some other* situation I cannot fix... I just do these things.

He's learned  three key words in coping with me: "Can I help?"

Sometimes the answer is No, and he deals with it, and I make certain I explain later when I'm in a better state, and spend a day doing stuff he likes that's all about him to try and make up for whatever stress I've caused.

Sometimes the answer is Yes, and we figure it out together.

There are days when I know *I* would never be as patient as he is, but I'm working at being more like him.

I'm very very very lucky.
 
2014-07-19 11:44:05 AM  
'I own the Fark politics tab'
 
2014-07-19 11:45:35 AM  
FTA: But somehow it doesn't seem quite enough when you're taking the first steps toward asking someone to love you for better or for worse. I come with more worse than most people, and it's only fair that I'm honest about that.

If you know you have more "worse" than you spend as much of your free time being better, so that your mate doesn't mind your crazy spells.
 
2014-07-19 11:47:35 AM  
www.blacknews.com
 
2014-07-19 11:59:01 AM  
use your scathing herpes as an opener, slide into teh crayzy,
and finish with PTSD from being boinked by Uncle Chester.
works every time.

or so I'm told.
 
2014-07-19 12:09:09 PM  
How about tell the truth?
Stop trying to hide reality?

Sure, you will get rid of the cowards, but you will attract people who either like crazy, are crazy or understand crazy.

I am not interested in dating someone who hasnt dealt with their own baggage.
That includes baggage from the other people that they have dated and baggage from health issues.

Would you date someone who has never lived with a significant other? HELL NO
Would you date a virgin? HELL NO
Would you date someone who has mommy or daddy issues? HELL NO

That someone has worked on or is working on their issues is at least a sign that you might be able to work out your couple issues that will occur while you are dating eat other.

or not
/why yes I am single, what was your first clue?
/been working on MY issues! YAY
 
2014-07-19 12:26:07 PM  

namatad: How about tell the truth?
Stop trying to hide reality?

Sure, you will get rid of the cowards, but you will attract people who either like crazy, are crazy or understand crazy.

I am not interested in dating someone who hasnt dealt with their own baggage.
That includes baggage from the other people that they have dated and baggage from health issues.

Would you date someone who has never lived with a significant other? HELL NO



That's an interesting thing to get hung up on, what's the logic behind that one?

If anything I go the other way a bit - I won't date anyone who is divorced (or currently married/separated obviously).
 
2014-07-19 12:39:31 PM  
So...there is a woman who admits she has a mental illness, and is actively seeking treatment.

I fail to see the problem.
 
2014-07-19 12:40:39 PM  

corq: HawgWild: "I don't suffer from a bi-polar disorder. I enjoy it!"

This is what I'd personally go with.

Actually I was going through crises  in being caregiver to my late stepfather slowly succumbing to CHF, when, describing how manic my life had become, the fellow who became my current BF spoke up to express his affection for me.

We hadn't actually met in person yet, but we'd talked a lot about our various interests, via IRC of all places. I tried to waive him off for his own safety, citing that my life was currently "drama central", that I'm mildly OCD, and will manically clean my house at 4am for no reason if I'm facing *some other* situation I cannot fix... I just do these things.

He's learned  three key words in coping with me: "Can I help?"

Sometimes the answer is No, and he deals with it, and I make certain I explain later when I'm in a better state, and spend a day doing stuff he likes that's all about him to try and make up for whatever stress I've caused.

Sometimes the answer is Yes, and we figure it out together.

There are days when I know *I* would never be as patient as he is, but I'm working at being more like him.

I'm very very very lucky.


CSS

it really is this simple.
this woman should be honest to start with.
or she can try to hide the crazy until the next guy leaves ...
 
2014-07-19 12:46:44 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: namatad: How about tell the truth?
Stop trying to hide reality?

Sure, you will get rid of the cowards, but you will attract people who either like crazy, are crazy or understand crazy.

I am not interested in dating someone who hasnt dealt with their own baggage.
That includes baggage from the other people that they have dated and baggage from health issues.

Would you date someone who has never lived with a significant other? HELL NO


That's an interesting thing to get hung up on, what's the logic behind that one?

If anything I go the other way a bit - I won't date anyone who is divorced (or currently married/separated obviously).


I used to think that, then I got a bit older. Most of my dating pool has been married or in a long term relationship.
The KEY is having been in a long term relationship. In order for those to work, you have to learn how to communicate, to work on things, to fix things.

Living together means learning to live with each others LITTLE shiat, things that you will never learn about by just sleeping over and leaving in the morning. 

You have to learn the answer to "THIS shiat IS MAKING ME CRAZY, but I dont want to move out"
Can you fix it? Can you learn to live with it?

I guess in the end it is about experience.
Do you want someone who is great in bed? Well, there is little chance that they are a virgin then.
Do you want someone who is "easy" to live with? Then they needed to learn those skills somewhere.
 
2014-07-19 12:49:15 PM  

And then there's Maude'Dib: Mayhaps some people - people who can't keep their own shiat in order - should work on their own issues before inviting someone into their lives to share them.  Just a thought.


But the right person could fix them.
 
2014-07-19 12:58:23 PM  
Most people in the US claiming to have a mental illness are fakers. They're obese, they're unattractive, they're dull, they're lazy, or they're otherwise failed in life but have latched onto the attention and self-pity that accompanies modern notions of crazy.

That in and of itself is not crazy though. It's just weak willed.

There's a difference between hearing voices and see hallucinations and "I feel sad twenty years after high school because I didn't have a prom date and my only friends today are cats and 'Cathy' comics."

Of course, saying this is completely insensitive and ignorant and deserves immediate societal reprimand. And the only fix for such heresy is more funding for daily meds for people who really don't need pills, so much as a kick in the rear.

There have always been losers in the world, always will. The only difference is with our trend toward collectivization now the winners are being compelled the subsidize the laziness of the nuts. Thanks Obamacare! It's a real joy to pay for Xanax for a bunch of fatties and geeks!
 
2014-07-19 01:20:19 PM  
Don't worry, it's implied.
 
2014-07-19 01:38:47 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: Nope. That's something for a third date, or second if it feels right.

Definitely something that needs to be said in person.


Yup.
 
2014-07-19 01:41:03 PM  
I've been on the crazy end of relationships before and if she'll admit it and be open about it up front, that's good.
 
2014-07-19 01:42:07 PM  
No Problem here!

I just offer to swap meds...
 
2014-07-19 01:43:48 PM  

elvisaintdead: use your scathing herpes as an opener, slide into teh crayzy,
and finish with PTSD from being boinked by Uncle Chester.
works every time.

or so I'm told.


As long as you wrap it up and don't give this person your real name or phone number, that sounds like it could be some awesome sex.
 
2014-07-19 01:45:31 PM  
Women with issues? Just need the right approach


"When I had the hernia I didn't make you wear the truss. Now if you're gonna have a change of life, you gotta do it right now. I'm gonna give you 30 seconds!"

assets.nydailynews.com
 
2014-07-19 01:46:49 PM  
"I love gloomy Victorian novels, obscure Korean horror films, Premier League soccer, and knitting. I'm 5-foot-5, slim, with brown hair and brown eyes. I am looking for a serious relationship. I suffer from mental illness."

I promise you, Molly.  That last sentence is redundant.
 
2014-07-19 01:48:06 PM  
"I have a mental illness: extreme nymphomania."
 
2014-07-19 01:49:15 PM  

RedPhoenix122: Just show a picture of the back of your truck:

[firebrandprogressives.org image 590x443]


Say what you want, but that's commitment. Going to be interesting how he's going to spend inauguration day 2015. Better find some Hillary stickers!
 
2014-07-19 01:49:57 PM  

zerkalo: RedPhoenix122: Just show a picture of the back of your truck:

[firebrandprogressives.org image 590x443]

Say what you want, but that's commitment. Going to be interesting how he's going to spend inauguration day 2015. Better find some Hillary stickers!


Or 2017. My inner hillbilly struggled but logic won out
 
2014-07-19 01:52:53 PM  

SquiggsIN: zerkalo: RedPhoenix122: Just show a picture of the back of your truck:

[firebrandprogressives.org image 590x443]

Say what you want, but that's commitment. Going to be interesting how he's going to spend inauguration day 2015. Better find some Hillary stickers!

2015? You mean emperor Obama moved It up 2 Years to piss off the GOP more?


As if the usurper-chief would allow more elections! Wake up!
 
2014-07-19 01:53:45 PM  

Snarfangel: So...there is a woman who admits she has a mental illness, and is actively seeking treatment.
I fail to see the problem.

The ones you want to avoid are the ones who not only don't seek treatment, but THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME, WHY DON'T YOU GET SOME HELP WITH YOUR OWN ISSUES, biatch?

nickdaisy: Most people in the US claiming to have a mental illness are fakers. They're obese, they're unattractive, they're dull, they're lazy, or they're otherwise failed in life but have latched onto the attention and self-pity that accompanies modern notions of crazy.


That must be just your definition of mental illness, because people with real mental illnesses do a little more than take Xanax or get fat. And if you think that people get attention for claiming that they have a mental illness, then you haven't been around them much. Like a puppy with leprosy gets attention, maybe--"Gee, that's so sad--now stay the fark away from me."
 
v15
2014-07-19 01:54:34 PM  
Love is a mental illness
 
2014-07-19 01:54:35 PM  

darwinpolice: elvisaintdead: use your scathing herpes as an opener, slide into teh crayzy,
and finish with PTSD from being boinked by Uncle Chester.
works every time.

or so I'm told.

As long as you wrap it up and don't give this person your real name or phone number, that sounds like it could be some awesome sex.


A condom will not prevent the spread of herpes.
 
2014-07-19 01:55:27 PM  

SquiggsIN: You're already a desperate reject if you're on a dating website, right? Who are these thousands and millions of people advertised as having met people on these because I've met exactly zero of them.


People do. Maybe you're just a loser that no one wants you to get in on the exciting world of internet dating. So they don't tell you.
 
2014-07-19 01:58:00 PM  

RedPhoenix122: Just show a picture of the back of your truck:

[firebrandprogressives.org image 590x443]


You seem confused about the difference between anger and crazy.
 
2014-07-19 01:58:14 PM  

nickdaisy: Most people in the US claiming to have a mental illness are fakers. They're obese, they're unattractive, they're dull, they're lazy, or they're otherwise failed in life but have latched onto the attention and self-pity that accompanies modern notions of crazy.


I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but I'm never quite sure if you're a troll or just a genuinely awful person.

Probably both, I guess? Anyone who uses their free time writing mean-spirited things about kicking people when they are down is moderately awful, whether they mean it or not.
 
2014-07-19 02:00:55 PM  
Start with "curvy" or that "If you can't handle me at my worst" quote.  Then work up to the names of your cats.  Finally, settle on your number of baby daddys.

Use additional pages if necessary.
 
2014-07-19 02:01:20 PM  
I think it's a pretty good assumption that a substantial fraction of people in their 30's who possess an online dating profile have some sort of heavy baggage that will become apparent in the first few dates.  If it was required to declare any of that stuff up front then match.com would have gone bankrupt years ago.
 
2014-07-19 02:02:36 PM  

And then there's Maude'Dib: Mayhaps some people - people who can't keep their own shiat in order - should work on their own issues before inviting someone into their lives to share them.  Just a thought.


This woman has borderline personality disorder.  There are no good treatments and no cure.  The best thing she can do is make peace with the idea that she will never have a good relationship, and content herself to being alone for the good of humanity.  She is fundamentally and permanently broken and will only bring misery to anyone that tries to care about her.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-07-19 02:04:26 PM  
Start with "curvy" or that "If you can't handle me at my worst" quote.

I want somebody who accepts me as I am.
 
2014-07-19 02:04:39 PM  
Want is "mentally 3"?

Sorry, fonts with capital i's that look like lower case l's makes me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once...
 
2014-07-19 02:04:54 PM  
I start with the truth. Odds are they'll find the bodies anyhow.
 
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