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(The Eagle Tribune)   Apparently, paying an 11 year old girl $100 to kick you in the balls is a felony in New Hampshire. Who knew?   (eagletribune.com) divider line 50
    More: PSA  
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5053 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2014 at 12:13 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-19 10:30:28 AM  
61 year old pedo creep likes to be kicked in the balls?

Make sure you make a note of pointing that out when you introduce him to his new cellmates.
 
2014-07-19 10:41:17 AM  
If you have to pay to be kicked in the balls you are doing it wrong.
 
2014-07-19 11:22:06 AM  
Live free or Ow my Balls!
 
2014-07-19 11:53:32 AM  
I was getting paid $10 for babysitting and yardwork like some sort of low-budget chump.

I wish someone had told me yambag punting was a childhood career option back in the day.
 
2014-07-19 12:17:22 PM  
That moustache will make an excellent handle for the red headed guy who mounts him from behind in the prison laundry after a desperate but failed attempt to resist.
 
2014-07-19 12:18:59 PM  
"He is also charged with single counts each of aggravated felonious sexual assault, felonious sexual assault, attempted felonious sexual assault, reckless conduct, simple assault and facilitating an underage party."

What a Felonious Skunk.
 
2014-07-19 12:19:21 PM  
I bet Los Locos will do it for less.
 
2014-07-19 12:25:25 PM  
Child labor laws not in play as well?
 
2014-07-19 12:27:40 PM  
assets-s3.rollingstone.com


Black befriended the children and often invited them over to his home for parties. He would offer marijuana, Richard said.


Indeed.....one might say his parties were a....wait for it....Black Celebration
 
2014-07-19 12:33:03 PM  
I'm surprised he didn't molest them enough to get the ball kicks for free.
 
2014-07-19 12:36:20 PM  

Fano: I bet Los Locos will do it for less.


*and offer orbital launch capabilities as well.
 
2014-07-19 12:43:43 PM  
It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.
 
2014-07-19 12:47:14 PM  

nytmare: It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.


I think they made an exemption for charitable gambling.
 
2014-07-19 12:48:58 PM  

skinink: "

What a Felonious Skunk.

img.fark.net

 
2014-07-19 12:49:02 PM  

nytmare: It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.


Do tell, what's the wager?
 
2014-07-19 12:52:10 PM  
FTFA Here is the legal gobbledygook:

"Black faces six counts of prostitution, three counts of indecent exposure or lewdness, three counts of dispensing a controlled drug, three counts of prohibited sales of alcohol and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child.
He is also charged with single counts each of aggravated felonious sexual assault, felonious sexual assault, attempted felonious sexual assault, reckless conduct, simple assault and facilitating an underage party."


I would like to see a description of what he actually did. For example, the article doesn't seem to explain why he is charged with prostitution.
 
2014-07-19 12:52:14 PM  
A felony. Well, ain't that a kid in the balls.
 
2014-07-19 12:53:58 PM  
Okay, so you're not supposed to pay children money to kick you in the balls, I get that.  I didn't read the article (yeah, yeah, I know), but did he have all his clothes on at the time of these kicks?  If he's fully clothed, the kids are fully clothed, how is any of that sex and/or prostitution?  If kicking someone in the balls is a sex act, I wasn't a virgin when I met my now-boyfriend.
 
2014-07-19 01:03:52 PM  
So is this what happens when workers from the Jackass series are laid off?
 
2014-07-19 01:04:07 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-19 01:10:06 PM  

nytmare: It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.


Except for the religious exemption provided by the Supreme Court.
 
2014-07-19 01:14:07 PM  

lilbjorn: nytmare: It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

Except for the religious exemption provided by the Supreme Court.


I want to be a fly on the wall in THAT church.
 
2014-07-19 01:14:52 PM  

Weatherkiss: [i.imgur.com image 477x500]


I'm probably going to regret this, but I'm oddly curious about the source of this image...
 
2014-07-19 01:16:56 PM  

Whatchoo Talkinbout: nytmare: It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

Do tell, what's the wager?


Seconded on the curiousity. Are we talking "staying time" here, "overall disturbed enjoyment", or "level of bodily injury endured"?
 
2014-07-19 01:17:39 PM  

zulius: Weatherkiss: [i.imgur.com image 477x500]

I'm probably going to regret this, but I'm oddly curious about the source of this image...


One of the Garth Ennis Punisher comics. I forget which one.
 
2014-07-19 01:24:12 PM  
Teens in town are so desperate for action that they head over to a known creep's house to have sex, get drugs, and kick him in the balls.

Wait, that's all you need to do to have sex? Crap, he should write a farker's guide to getting sex.
 
2014-07-19 01:27:07 PM  

HairBolus: FTFA Here is the legal gobbledygook:

"Black faces six counts of prostitution, three counts of indecent exposure or lewdness, three counts of dispensing a controlled drug, three counts of prohibited sales of alcohol and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child.
He is also charged with single counts each of aggravated felonious sexual assault, felonious sexual assault, attempted felonious sexual assault, reckless conduct, simple assault and facilitating an underage party."

I would like to see a description of what he actually did. For example, the article doesn't seem to explain why he is charged with prostitution.


Well I was going to say paying a child to touch his balls with their feet, but then I realize that's not prostitution on his part.

Maybe he took their money in exchange for his "lollipop".
 
2014-07-19 01:27:30 PM  

vicioushobbit: lilbjorn: nytmare: It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

Except for the religious exemption provided by the Supreme Court.

I want to be a fly on the wall in THAT church.


Head on down to a sleepy little town called Pascagoula.

Be wary, there may be a fight for survival.
 
2014-07-19 01:28:36 PM  
What if you're making a movie like kickass 3?
 
2014-07-19 01:33:26 PM  

HairBolus: FTFA Here is the legal gobbledygook:

"Black faces six counts of prostitution, three counts of indecent exposure or lewdness, three counts of dispensing a controlled drug, three counts of prohibited sales of alcohol and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child.
He is also charged with single counts each of aggravated felonious sexual assault, felonious sexual assault, attempted felonious sexual assault, reckless conduct, simple assault and facilitating an underage party."

I would like to see a description of what he actually did. For example, the article doesn't seem to explain why he is charged with prostitution.


So you want them to describe how he paid them to suck him off or something? Is that how you get off, by reading how an old pervert molested kids?
 
2014-07-19 01:33:51 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

♫ How lucky can one guy be...
I paid her, she booted me...
Like the fella said, quote:
"Ain't that a kick in the scrote?" ♫
 
2014-07-19 01:38:28 PM  
Go ahead, kick me in the jimmies

img.fark.net
 
2014-07-19 01:40:44 PM  
What's his Fark handle?
 
2014-07-19 01:54:46 PM  

zulius: Weatherkiss: [i.imgur.com image 477x500]

I'm probably going to regret this, but I'm oddly curious about the source of this image...


Martin Soap. He was a staple of Garth Ennis' run on The Punisher. He had the worse luck of anyone on the NYPD. Was forced to work the Punisher task force. Ended up reinventing himself as a porn stud.
 
2014-07-19 02:07:38 PM  
Was that wrong? Should I have not done that?
 
2014-07-19 02:07:57 PM  

bearded clamorer: ♫ How lucky can one guy be...
I paid her, she booted me...
Like the fella said, quote:
"Ain't that a kick in the scrote?" ♫


You, Sir, are a hoot!
 
2014-07-19 02:10:48 PM  
But, others can make an entire empire out of it....

i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-19 02:14:51 PM  

IgG4: If you have to pay to be kicked in the balls you are doing it wrong.


The payment was to get kicked in the balls and not go to jail after. He should get his money back.

Coco LaFemme: Okay, so you're not supposed to pay children money to kick you in the balls, I get that.  I didn't read the article (yeah, yeah, I know), but did he have all his clothes on at the time of these kicks?  If he's fully clothed, the kids are fully clothed, how is any of that sex and/or prostitution?  If kicking someone in the balls is a sex act, I wasn't a virgin when I met my now-boyfriend.


Google CBT.

/or don't, if you like not having your day ruined.
 
2014-07-19 02:30:41 PM  

bearded clamorer: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 233x267]

♫ How lucky can one guy be...
I paid her, she booted me...
Like the fell  Na said, quote:
"Ain't that a kick in the scrote?" ♫



Good one.  Nice to see someone putting all those hours playing New Vegas to use.
 
2014-07-19 02:42:22 PM  
www.sickchirpse.com
stream1.gifsoup.com
 
2014-07-19 02:51:16 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-19 03:00:23 PM  

vicioushobbit: lilbjorn: nytmare: It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

Except for the religious exemption provided by the Supreme Court.

I want to be a fly on the wall in THAT church.


Just as long as you're not a squirrel...

flatrock.org.nz
Besides, everyone knows most squirrels are Buddhists

Re: the headline...what about cockpunches?
i116.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-19 03:01:24 PM  

ongbok: HairBolus: FTFA Here is the legal gobbledygook:

"Black faces six counts of prostitution, three counts of indecent exposure or lewdness, three counts of dispensing a controlled drug, three counts of prohibited sales of alcohol and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child.
He is also charged with single counts each of aggravated felonious sexual assault, felonious sexual assault, attempted felonious sexual assault, reckless conduct, simple assault and facilitating an underage party."

I would like to see a description of what he actually did. For example, the article doesn't seem to explain why he is charged with prostitution.

So you want them to describe how he paid them to suck him off or something? Is that how you get off, by reading how an old pervert molested kids?


If he gave a 13yo a beer in exchange for her showing him her tits, an able prosecutor could turn that incident into multiple charges.

Note that he has only 1 charge for "aggravated felonious sexual assault" which in NH may mean statutory rape with penetration though it could also mean giving a minor an intoxicant and then engaging in non-penetrative sexual contact - e.g. he fed a girl a beer then slapped her ass.

http://law.justia.com/codes/new-hampshire/2009/TITLELXII/CHAPTER632- A/ 632-A-2.html
 
2014-07-19 04:02:25 PM  
What?  You have to pay them $200?
 
2014-07-19 05:09:33 PM  
So my career as a Self Defense Instructor to young females is fine; as they pay ME $100 for kicking me in the nuttsack!
 
2014-07-19 06:07:26 PM  

nickdaisy: That moustache will make an excellent handle for the red headed guy who mounts him from behind in the prison laundry after a desperate but failed attempt to resist.


Why are anti-pedos obsessed with anal sex
 
2014-07-19 09:38:27 PM  

HairBolus: For example, the article doesn't seem to explain why he is charged with prostitution.


Because he's Black.
 
2014-07-19 09:51:14 PM  

Whatchoo Talkinbout: nytmare: It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

Do tell, what's the wager?


Two balls - side pocket
 
2014-07-20 01:25:02 AM  

Somaticasual: Whatchoo Talkinbout: nytmare: It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

Do tell, what's the wager?

Seconded on the curiousity. Are we talking "staying time" here, "overall disturbed enjoyment", or "level of bodily injury endured"?


I was thinking where it comes out.

Fano: Head on down to a sleepy little town called Pascagoula.

Be wary, there may be a fight for survival.


Damn funny song and video.
 
2014-07-20 05:41:00 AM  

LoneWolf343: Coco LaFemme: Okay, so you're not supposed to pay children money to kick you in the balls, I get that.  I didn't read the article (yeah, yeah, I know), but did he have all his clothes on at the time of these kicks?  If he's fully clothed, the kids are fully clothed, how is any of that sex and/or prostitution?  If kicking someone in the balls is a sex act, I wasn't a virgin when I met my now-boyfriend.

Google CBT.

/or don't, if you like not having your day ruined.


I don't see what cognitive behavioural therapy has to do with this.

I'm with Coco on this, kicking a fully clothed guy in the balls doesn't strike me as a sex act. Did he ejaculate after the kicking? That'd be impressive.
 
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