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(Jezebel)   "Never get involved in a land war in Asia"- also, if you're a Las Vegas club promoter, don't reply "no 'Whales or Hippos' allowed" to a bachelorette party planner   (jezebel.com) divider line 85
    More: Dumbass, club promoters, Venn diagram, Las Vegas Club, friend of a friend  
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8173 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2014 at 11:53 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



85 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-18 08:22:03 PM  
So Vegas party planners are the male version of Jezebel?
 
2014-07-18 08:47:25 PM  
Clubs are, as a general rule, terrible, noisy places full of superficial garbage people

I never wanted into that stupid dumb club anyway, so there.
 
2014-07-18 09:30:14 PM  

Barfmaker: Clubs are, as a general rule, terrible, noisy places full of superficial garbage people

I never wanted into that stupid dumb club anyway, so there.


indiestatik.com
 
2014-07-18 09:30:32 PM  
I suppose the hippos makes sense.  I understand they're hungry, hungry.

And for a hip-hop place you probably don't want whales.  The whales will get all up in yer krill.


/don't even know what that means...
 
2014-07-18 09:35:42 PM  
I have to agree with the author that Vegas club promoters are mostly douchebags. Last month I mentioned on Twitter that I would be going to Vegas. Within a week, I had contact from seven promoters. They must use programs to scan twitter for key words and intrude on people to drum up business.

/ if I want to go to a club and listen to obnoxious music and drink overpriced booze, I can accomplish that on my own, thanks.

// hate oonce oonce oonce music and I don't drink
 
2014-07-18 11:30:58 PM  
Seems reasonable.  Whales would take a huge aquarium, and hippos are actually extremely dangerous.
 
2014-07-18 11:57:08 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: I suppose the hippos makes sense.  I understand they're hungry, hungry.

And for a hip-hop place you probably don't want whales.  The whales will get all up in yer krill.

/don't even know what that means...


It doesn't make sense, but somehow, it still works.  So... not a hit, not a miss.  Uh... splash damage?
 
2014-07-18 11:58:36 PM  

psychicdeath99: I have to agree with the author that Vegas club promoters are mostly douchebags. Last month I mentioned on Twitter that I would be going to Vegas. Within a week, I had contact from seven promoters. They must use programs to scan twitter for key words and intrude on people to drum up business.

/ if I want to go to a club and listen to obnoxious music and drink overpriced booze, I can accomplish that on my own, thanks.

// hate oonce oonce oonce music and I don't drink


Maybe you should stop "tweeting".  And stop going to Vegas.
 
2014-07-19 12:01:53 AM  
*looks at Jezebel link*

i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-19 12:02:13 AM  
Yes, yes, yes .. Honesty is a Bad Policy ..

/teach your children well
 
2014-07-19 12:04:58 AM  
i529.photobucket.com

Aw, come on ... who wouldn't want to dance with this cutie?

i.chzbgr.com

Or this one?
 
2014-07-19 12:09:35 AM  
OK, so someone asks for a thousand dollars of free stuff, the person they ask wants to know whether they're attractive.  The requestor can't even say since she doesn't know a single person that's invited.

Seems like everyone involved is kind of a self-centered dumbass.
 
2014-07-19 12:10:09 AM  
Never call your customers fat.

(in public, or in any way they can find out)
 
2014-07-19 12:10:25 AM  

Iszael: OK, so someone asks for a thousand dollars of free stuff, the person they ask wants to know whether they're attractive.  The requestor can't even say since she doesn't know a single person that's invited.

Seems like everyone involved is kind of a self-centered dumbass.


This. Want a freebie? Be prepared to find out there's a catch. Don't like the catch? Don't ask for freebies.
 
2014-07-19 12:12:29 AM  
Bacherlorette party wanted free shiat from a hot club. Club had rules in place to keep up its cred as a place where hot women went so as not to diminish its brand (and the dollars of the dudes paying cover to subsidize said hot women). Ergo Jezebel gets involved because in order to get free shiat, the beggar in question wouldn't supply a picture of the party in question.
 
2014-07-19 12:12:57 AM  
imagemacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-07-19 12:13:08 AM  
And if you want to set up a party in Las Vegas, don't be surprised if you're overwhelmed by douchebags.
 
2014-07-19 12:15:18 AM  
I'm sorry, are you whales from Scotland?
 
2014-07-19 12:16:42 AM  

Surool: Never call your customers fat.

(in public, or in any way they can find out)


It probably won't damage the brand of the place.  The whole draw of the 'hip' nightclub is exclusivity, and a public spat about not wanting to admit overweight women will probably end up endearing it to the spray-tanned douchenozzles who will stand in line for hours for the chance to buy $15 cocktails for vapid gold diggers while being packed into a too-loud room like sardines with others of their ilk.
 
2014-07-19 12:17:04 AM  

hundreddollarman: *looks at Jezebel link*


This link is a gem from their site. Not a satirical response to anything. Just straight up admitting they get away with intimate partner abuse.

http://jezebel.com/294383/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh- w e-have
 
2014-07-19 12:18:01 AM  

psychicdeath99: I have to agree with the author that Vegas club promoters are mostly douchebags. Last month I mentioned on Twitter that I would be going to Vegas. Within a week, I had contact from seven promoters. They must use programs to scan twitter for key words and intrude on people to drum up business.

/ if I want to go to a club and listen to obnoxious music and drink overpriced booze, I can accomplish that on my own, thanks.

// hate oonce oonce oonce music and I don't drink


All club promoters are douche-bags. As are people who like going to clubs, and people who write for/read Jezebel. Pretty much everyone involved in this.
 
2014-07-19 12:18:18 AM  
It's fairly common knowledge that a Venn diagram charting the overlap between Vegas club promoters and terminal douchebags would be, essentially, a single circle.

So she is insinuating that every terminal douchebag is also a Vegas club promoter? Is that what I'm getting out of this? Or is the takeaway "I don't actually know how Venn diagrams work, I just wanted to have an article full of pictures of IM screenshots and my editor was refusing to pay me unless I wrote actual words..."
 
2014-07-19 12:18:18 AM  
And Jezebel just gave free advertising to a club. The club going type won't care. Club girls try to get in to feel validation that they're farkable and guys will go expecting these "9-10"ish girls.

Before publicly shaming a company, check that they have any to lose.
 
2014-07-19 12:20:36 AM  
I thought a crowded dance floor was supposed to be good for business. They should have just insisted that the fat chicks dance -- instantly crowded dance floor, even if there are just 3 or 4 of them.
 
2014-07-19 12:22:39 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-19 12:23:52 AM  
It was pretty pathetic of the representative of the "number one nightclub in America" to keep begging her to come to his club even after she's politely declined a dozen times.
 
2014-07-19 12:27:18 AM  

soseussme: I thought a crowded dance floor was supposed to be good for business. They should have just insisted that the fat chicks dance -- instantly crowded dance floor, even if there are just 3 or 4 of them.


Nothing like the appeal of being shellacked by rivers of sweat and body glitter.
 
2014-07-19 12:27:55 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: I suppose the hippos makes sense.  I understand they're hungry, hungry.

And for a hip-hop place you probably don't want whales.  The whales will get all up in yer krill.


/don't even know what that means...


Funny.
/ I like fat girls
// Fat girls are hot
/// hmu Rebel, k?
 
2014-07-19 12:28:23 AM  

Surool: Never call your customers fat.

(in public, or in any way they can find out)


I do just about everyday at work, except I get to jazz it up by saying they're rated "due to their build as it relates to cardiovascular profile".

/They're first mistake was heading to the MGM Grand.
//It's devolved into Euro-trash wearing Afflication/Audiger shirts who've their sweat gland removed and replaced it with Drakkar Noir.
///Unless you're playing the 70's era horse racing game.
 
2014-07-19 12:29:15 AM  
There sure are a lot of Vegas promoters on Fark. I did not know that.
 
2014-07-19 12:29:32 AM  
I am so farking sick of bachelorette parties. Especially ones that want to come to my clubs to ironically watch the drag shows. Next one that gets in my face is gonna get a drink in her's.
 
2014-07-19 12:31:36 AM  
I posted this a few days ago. Seems relevant here, so:

img.fark.net

I was in a bar last year when I heard three women talking with heavy accents.

"Excuse me, but are you ladies from Scotland?" I asked them.

"It's Wales, laddy," one of them answered.

"Excuse me," I replied, "are you whales from Scotland?"

I don't remember anything after that.

/shamelessly stolen from some Farker
//can't remember who, or I'd give credit where credit is due.
 
2014-07-19 12:34:21 AM  

Surool: soseussme: I thought a crowded dance floor was supposed to be good for business. They should have just insisted that the fat chicks dance -- instantly crowded dance floor, even if there are just 3 or 4 of them.

Nothing like the appeal of being shellacked by rivers of sweat and body glitter.


Wait until you get a load of the morbidly obese belly dancers.

/I'm glad she doesn't spy on me on Fark
//She'd drive the 200 miles just to punch me.
 
2014-07-19 12:43:04 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: Surool: Never call your customers fat.

(in public, or in any way they can find out)

It probably won't damage the brand of the place.  The whole draw of the 'hip' nightclub is exclusivity, and a public spat about not wanting to admit overweight women will probably end up endearing it to the spray-tanned douchenozzles who will stand in line for hours for the chance to buy $15 cocktails for vapid gold diggers while being packed into a too-loud room like sardines with others of their ilk.


THIS.  Not that anyone who would attend this club probably reads Jezebel.  But, if anything, this article will increase the allure of this particular night club.


proteus_b: It was pretty pathetic of the representative of the "number one nightclub in America" to keep begging her to come to his club even after she's politely declined a dozen times.


I didn't see it as that.  To me it seemed like he was providing flirty customer service (which is what a club promoter should do), while also trying to explain why he needed photos.
 
2014-07-19 12:43:26 AM  
Were the promoters Tom Haverford and Jean Rafael?
 
2014-07-19 12:44:37 AM  

theflatline: psychicdeath99: I have to agree with the author that Vegas club promoters are mostly douchebags. Last month I mentioned on Twitter that I would be going to Vegas. Within a week, I had contact from seven promoters. They must use programs to scan twitter for key words and intrude on people to drum up business.

/ if I want to go to a club and listen to obnoxious music and drink overpriced booze, I can accomplish that on my own, thanks.

// hate oonce oonce oonce music and I don't drink

Maybe you should stop "tweeting".  And stop going to Vegas.


Hey. Easy. That man is doing gods work on the MMA circuit.
 
2014-07-19 12:44:56 AM  
There's a club near Tampa that gives any hot girls an instant VIP pass; they claim they "Randomly" give the passes out; more hot chicks that come in; more douchbags that follow to spend money.
Haven't read anything that says anyone caught onto this; because ocassionally they hand a fattie a pass just to make it look good.

/haven't been to a club since 90s? around the time glowsticks were the new COOL and it shortly departed 15 minutes later
 
2014-07-19 12:51:15 AM  
herp-spot hypotenuse? Hail from the chainmail-strum.
 
2014-07-19 12:52:06 AM  

Abracapocalypse: I am so farking sick of bachelorette parties. Especially ones that want to come to my clubs to ironically watch the drag shows. Next one that gets in my face is gonna get a drink in her's.


^^^confirmed queen
 
Oak
2014-07-19 12:52:47 AM  

jcsgDin: It's fairly common knowledge that a Venn diagram charting the overlap between Vegas club promoters and terminal douchebags would be, essentially, a single circle.

So she is insinuating that every terminal douchebag is also a Vegas club promoter? Is that what I'm getting out of this? Or is the takeaway "I don't actually know how Venn diagrams work, I just wanted to have an article full of pictures of IM screenshots and my editor was refusing to pay me unless I wrote actual words..."


The second.
 
2014-07-19 12:56:38 AM  
The promoter's job is to make sure the crowd at the club is such that it attracts the high-rollers and spendier walk-ins.  Women, statistically, don't spend money in clubs, so from a financial standpoint they're the product more than the customer.  Same principle as online advertising: websites like, say, buzzfeed intentionally cultivate an audience of stupid people who click ads, so that they can attract advertisers that will give them money.  Clubs cultivate an audience of attractive women so that rich men will buy a lot of drinks.

There's nothing wrong with this guy specifically, he's just doing his job with a minimum degree of basic common sense and logic.  Jezebel seems to have a problem with the larger club industry in general, specifically the fact that clubs prefer to try to make money.  Which is unsurprising because I don't think that site has  ever picked a fight that wasn't terminally goddamned stupid and usually over an issue that's trivial to avoid to boot.

I mean, come on.  "Don't go to private clubs", there you go.  All your issues with club culture solved in five damn words.

//
 
2014-07-19 01:00:57 AM  
Could we please just turn this into a foobies thread? TYVMIA.
 
2014-07-19 01:20:38 AM  

Farxist Marxist: Could we please just turn this into a foobies thread? TYVMIA.


Foobies? Like Football Boobies?

db2.stb.s-msn.com
 
2014-07-19 01:24:36 AM  

gweilo8888: Iszael: OK, so someone asks for a thousand dollars of free stuff, the person they ask wants to know whether they're attractive.  The requestor can't even say since she doesn't know a single person that's invited.

Seems like everyone involved is kind of a self-centered dumbass.

This. Want a freebie? Be prepared to find out there's a catch. Don't like the catch? Don't ask for freebies.


I think if you don't like the catch you politely decline, which she did. But then she kept getting harassed by this douchebag, which is the issue.
 
Ral
2014-07-19 01:37:13 AM  
It's an ugly truth that hot night clubs only want hot girls and handsome men as patrons.  If you bring some hot girls in, you can get comped just about anything you want, because the men in the club will go nuts spending money on them, and over time it attracts more business.

It's a private business.  If they want to set terms on who gets in, I have no problem with that.
 
2014-07-19 01:41:34 AM  

doglover: Farxist Marxist: Could we please just turn this into a foobies thread? TYVMIA.

Foobies? Like Football Boobies?

[db2.stb.s-msn.com image 409x498]


I'll just wait for Banned to arrive. He understands.
 
2014-07-19 01:43:14 AM  

Ral: clause-louse the men in the club will go nuts spending money on them,.



No direction, nuts going glazey, organizational neutrality. boggle knots/nauts/eoaughts

Oars writhe, sporting deflection, and the vertebrate stalls, glory to the whole
 
2014-07-19 01:55:48 AM  

WayToBlue: I think if you don't like the catch you politely decline, which she did. But then she kept getting harassed by this douchebag, which is the issue.


Assuming it's not all made up, that is -- which half of these things are. (Hell, I'd say it's probably a hell of a lot more than half.)

And really, having just re-read the thread, I don't see where she said she didn't want to receive any more messages. A clear "We won't be coming to your club" or "Please stop messaging me", and I'd wager any messages would have stopped. "Thanks anyway" doesn't mean stop messaging me, it means "I'm not willing to do business on the current terms", as anybody who's ever bargained will tell you.
 
2014-07-19 01:58:39 AM  
 
2014-07-19 02:06:13 AM  
When will fatties realize that no matter how outraged they are, most people (Fark White Knights excluded) are never going to find them attractive?
 
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