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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   New Toyota minivan lets parents easily threaten to turn the car around using built-in microphone   (startribune.com) divider line 49
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5891 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2014 at 8:16 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-18 06:55:31 PM  
Your kids can't hear you scream at them from a foot or so away in the driver's seat...?

facepalm.jpeg
 
2014-07-18 07:00:16 PM  

mama2tnt: Your kids can't hear you scream at them from a foot or so away in the driver's seat...?

facepalm.jpeg


Have you seen kids in a car lately?  They're cocooned from the outside world, wearing headphones, and watching Spongebob on flat screens.

Once mom gets her crotchfruit to the store or or wherever, they're plopped in the shopping cart with a tablet, and watch Spongebob while the world goes by.

There's an entire generation if kids who are completely unable to interact with the world outside their headphones and iThingies.

Aliens could invade, and they'd never know.
 
2014-07-18 07:00:56 PM  
I'd prefer active noise cancellation

Very active noise cancellation. Like a cone of silence.
 
2014-07-18 07:33:14 PM  
You want to see minivans fly out of the showroom? You install a soundproof version of this, Toyota:
img.fark.net
You're welcome.
 
2014-07-18 07:53:21 PM  
How about yelling at the jackhole that just cut you off.

"Hey asshat, get off the phone!"
 
2014-07-18 08:23:27 PM  
So does it cut into the audio feed of whatever the kid is actually paying attention to, or does it just add a speaker in the vain hope they don't have their personal audio so loud they'll be deaf by Junior High
 
2014-07-18 08:26:01 PM  
Does it have a drink holder that can fit the 44 oz big gulp?
 
2014-07-18 08:26:02 PM  

IgG4: I'd prefer active noise cancellation


Or child cancellation.

static.guim.co.uk
 
2014-07-18 08:26:51 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-18 08:29:28 PM  
This is why my parents carried a flyswatter in the front seat on long trips. Threaten to turn the car around? Yeah, that only works if you're going to Disneyland. Smacked on the top of the foot with a flyswatter? That'll shut you the hell up.
 
2014-07-18 08:29:57 PM  

enry: How about yelling at the jackhole that just cut you off.

"Hey asshat, get off the phone!"


I'm getting an external speaker hooked up to the CB just for that reason.  I'm getting a pistol that shoots shotgun shells first though because I'm going to need it
 
2014-07-18 08:32:24 PM  

loonatic112358: So does it cut into the audio feed of whatever the kid is actually paying attention to, or does it just add a speaker in the vain hope they don't have their personal audio so loud they'll be deaf by Junior High


And it needs a big eyeball popping up on the video screen they are watching.

Scary Maze Game video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WjDrQ0IhBw
 
2014-07-18 08:33:09 PM  
 
2014-07-18 08:33:36 PM  
For the kids inside, I don't need a microphone.  I learned proper ass chewing at the School of Military Brats.
 
2014-07-18 08:36:22 PM  

enry: How about yelling at the jackhole that just cut you off.

"Hey asshat, get off the phone!"


http://www.amazon.com/Police-Siren-System-Emergency-Sound/dp/B0055OM 3U Q/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1405730048&sr=8-5&keywords=car+pa+speaker

Also great for ordering for people in front of you at the drive-thru.

/Yeah, gimmie 16 double bigmacs....
 
2014-07-18 08:36:32 PM  
I don't need help screaming at the kids, they can hear me just fine, and I can do it without taking my eyes off the road.  What I need is a button that I can push and a spring-loaded boxing glove pops out and smacks the kid, so I don't don't have to endanger myself and my passengers by trying to turn around and smack them myself.
 
2014-07-18 08:38:11 PM  

mama2tnt: Your kids can't hear you scream at them from a foot or so away in the driver's seat...?

facepalm.jpeg


You don't have kids do you?
 
2014-07-18 08:38:22 PM  
On those long boring car trips, wait until all of your passengers have fallen asleep and traffic is clear, then SLAM ON THE BRAKES SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS.

No more lonely diving.

/had this done to me
//passed along the favor
 
2014-07-18 08:41:50 PM  

sporkme: On those long boring car trips, wait until all of your passengers have fallen asleep and traffic is clear, then SLAM ON THE BRAKES SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS.

No more lonely diving.

/had this done to me
//passed along the favor


And that is why...we don't scream in the car.
 
2014-07-18 08:47:41 PM  

IgG4: I'd prefer active noise cancellation

Very active noise cancellation. Like a cone of silence.


Do you mean duct/duck tape?
 
2014-07-18 08:51:16 PM  
What's with the mention of the pull-down mirror? Haven't those been around for quite a while? The most interesting part of the article was mentioning that Honda put a vacuum cleaner in their van. That is actually pretty cool.
 
2014-07-18 08:56:38 PM  

Dragonflew: IgG4: I'd prefer active noise cancellation

Or child cancellation.

[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]


Heh, that reminds me of an idea I had for an in-store ad for condoms that was freakin' BRILLIANT, if I do say so myself.  A little speaker box on the shelf next to the product (like the coupon dispensers you sometimes see) with a button and a sign that said, "Push here for important information about Trojan condoms." You push it, and it would be the sound of a baby crying.

I thought of it when I was in Kinneys (Great NY drug store) who had the condoms on the end of the diaper aisle. Which was also brilliant. Especially because there was an actual baby crying in the aisle when I was there.

TFA made me think of Homer's bubble car. Of course you need a speaker for them to hear you way back there.

t1.gstatic.com/hotwheels
 
2014-07-18 08:59:41 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: This is why my parents carried a flyswatter in the front seat on long trips. Threaten to turn the car around? Yeah, that only works if you're going to Disneyland. Smacked on the top of the foot with a flyswatter? That'll shut you the hell up.


I swear to god my dad had Plastic Man arms. He could reach the back seat of a big-ass station wagon and whack all three of us without even turning his head. The man had dead eye aim.
 
2014-07-18 09:05:57 PM  
Al last something useful being put in a car.
 
2014-07-18 09:11:13 PM  
i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-18 09:38:06 PM  
Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?
 
2014-07-18 09:47:34 PM  
Utterly stupid.

They're going to make a fortune.
 
2014-07-18 10:41:06 PM  

sporkme: On those long boring car trips, wait until all of your passengers have fallen asleep and traffic is clear, then SLAM ON THE BRAKES SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS.

No more lonely diving.


One of my classmates in grad school liked to find semi-trucks being towed on the interstate when his wife was asleep. He'd get a little distance, start accelerating, and then wake his wife up by shouting that the semi was going to kill them.
 
2014-07-18 10:57:38 PM  

Tobin_Lam: What's with the mention of the pull-down mirror? Haven't those been around for quite a while? The most interesting part of the article was mentioning that Honda put a vacuum cleaner in their van. That is actually pretty cool.


It doesn't suck. Oh, wait ...
 
2014-07-18 11:12:27 PM  

The Southern Dandy: I don't need help screaming at the kids, they can hear me just fine, and I can do it without taking my eyes off the road.  What I need is a button that I can push and a spring-loaded boxing glove pops out and smacks the kid, so I don't don't have to endanger myself and my passengers by trying to turn around and smack them myself.


How the French do it:


img.fark.net
 
2014-07-18 11:13:27 PM  
Why isn't DWK (Driving With Kids) a crime yet?

The closest I've come to a collision in the last decade was a farking soccer-mom SUV that swerved in front of me and jammed on her brakes hard.  I was cruising along in the right lane at the speed limit minding my own business when she swerved in front of me and came to a dead stop.  I was sure I was going to hit her, but my brakes are well maintained and I have a quick reaction time.  And before I had a chance to get out of my car and ask her WTF? she proceeded like nothing had happened.

There's only 2 possibilities.

Either she had an unruly kid in the car or it was a failed attempt at the swoop-and-stop insurance fraud.

I still regret not following her to wherever she was going and confronting her.
 
2014-07-18 11:42:57 PM  

Tobin_Lam: What's with the mention of the pull-down mirror? Haven't those been around for quite a while? The most interesting part of the article was mentioning that Honda put a vacuum cleaner in their van. That is actually pretty cool.


Any car vacuum that comes built-in is either going to: A: do a craptastic job of cleaning anything due to its wimpy 12 volt motor, or B: do a decent job of cleaning the car yet weigh so much that you'll spend $1000 over the life of the car for the extra gasoline required to lug it around.

Seriously, is it that hard to get out the hose and the leaf blower to clean the inside of a car?
 
2014-07-18 11:50:58 PM  
I want a PA system that lets me yell at the cars around me.  When I had a CB radio in my pickup, it had a PA speaker behind the front grille.  It was all kinds of fun.  "NICE BLINKER THERE, MORON!!!"  ;)
 
2014-07-18 11:51:46 PM  

hlehmann: Tobin_Lam: What's with the mention of the pull-down mirror? Haven't those been around for quite a while? The most interesting part of the article was mentioning that Honda put a vacuum cleaner in their van. That is actually pretty cool.

Any car vacuum that comes built-in is either going to: A: do a craptastic job of cleaning anything due to its wimpy 12 volt motor, or B: do a decent job of cleaning the car yet weigh so much that you'll spend $1000 over the life of the car for the extra gasoline required to lug it around.

Seriously, is it that hard to get out the hose and the leaf blower to clean the inside of a car?


Built-in power inverters are pretty common in new Vans/Trucks/SUVs these days, but I don't know if the Honda vacuum makes use of one.

It wouldn't have to be that powerful to suck up crumbs.

I'm in the 'that's a neat idea' camp.
 
2014-07-19 12:01:06 AM  

brimed03: Utterly stupid.

They're going to make a fortune.


Sometimes if you have your parents visiting and you let your mom have the front seat and you sit in the back it's hard to hear the normal adult conversation going on in the front. I have a feeling this is more for that than yelling at your kids. I wouldn't spend money on it but I don't find it completely useless either.
 
2014-07-19 12:17:35 AM  

sdd2000: IgG4: I'd prefer active noise cancellation

Very active noise cancellation. Like a cone of silence.

Do you mean duct/duck tape?


Forget what you've heard, silence is silver.
 
2014-07-19 12:32:36 AM  
My voice carries very well, although the handy mirror in my Expedition for viewing all rear passengers has been very helpful.  We all were told our parents have eyes in the back of their heads, but seeing how your parent can see you seems to have a stronger affect.

/it's a factory feature mounted on the ceiling, and drops down just above the view of the rearview mirror.
 
2014-07-19 12:46:22 AM  

The Southern Dandy: I don't need help screaming at the kids, they can hear me just fine, and I can do it without taking my eyes off the road.  What I need is a button that I can push and a spring-loaded boxing glove pops out and smacks the kid, so I don't don't have to endanger myself and my passengers by trying to turn around and smack them myself.


I swear the Volvo S60 has a remote rear seat fold down button. If you are leaning forward a bit it absolutely smacks the rear seat passenger with the gentle bonk of a spring-loaded headrest folding forward.
 
2014-07-19 12:46:31 AM  

rga184: brimed03: Utterly stupid.

They're going to make a fortune.

Sometimes if you have your parents visiting and you let your mom have the front seat and you sit in the back it's hard to hear the normal adult conversation going on in the front. I have a feeling this is more for that than yelling at your kids. I wouldn't spend money on it but I don't find it completely useless either.


I also find it hard to carry on a conversation when one person is in the front seat and the other person is in the back seat.

Hopefully, when Google makes a self driving 4 seater, they'll have front seats that swivel all the way around, so I can have face to face conversations with my fellow passengers.
 
2014-07-19 12:47:47 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: enry: How about yelling at the jackhole that just cut you off.

"Hey asshat, get off the phone!"

I'm getting an external speaker hooked up to the CB just for that reason.  I'm getting a pistol that shoots shotgun shells first though because I'm going to need it


I so want to get the fog horns off the big rigs for idiots on cell phones.
 
2014-07-19 01:11:22 AM  
At least mom will be able to warn the kids to buckle up before the next Toyota defect causes a crash.
/it may not help though.
 
2014-07-19 02:26:16 AM  
This summer is the 1st time our two oldest (6 & 4) have been in the third row in our Odyssey. It's too bad the mic doesn't work both ways because my oldest is very quiet and he gets all sensitive when we ask him to speak up. It's hard to hear him in the front when he is in the very back.

//we do have a dvd player in the van, but the rule is that we only use it for long trips. They might get to watch a movie on Sunday when we go to my aunt's house 90ish miles away, but even that is doubtful. We only really use it on roadtrips.
 
2014-07-19 05:40:58 AM  
Amplification? Mrs. Eel don't need that to keep the kids in line. She does this thing with her voice where it sounds like the Black Speech going straight into your skull. I think it's called "nagging".
 
2014-07-19 10:00:08 AM  
image.w00t.com
 
2014-07-19 01:23:29 PM  

hlehmann: Tobin_Lam: What's with the mention of the pull-down mirror? Haven't those been around for quite a while? The most interesting part of the article was mentioning that Honda put a vacuum cleaner in their van. That is actually pretty cool.

Any car vacuum that comes built-in is either going to: A: do a craptastic job of cleaning anything due to its wimpy 12 volt motor, or B: do a decent job of cleaning the car yet weigh so much that you'll spend $1000 over the life of the car for the extra gasoline required to lug it around.

Seriously, is it that hard to get out the hose and the leaf blower to clean the inside of a car?


Since it comes with a 115V outlet in the third row, I'd assume the vacuum runs off of that. Just to make sure, though, I looked it up. It does indeed run off the 12V system ad for only 8 minutes at a time.
 
2014-07-19 06:02:11 PM  
Well isn't that special. I guess it does have a use if your kids are chronically plugged into the backseat sound system

Did they add more than 2 sets of anchor points to this model? When looking at minivans, it floored me that only the Odyssey had more than 2 sets of anchor points for car seats (5 total). You are designing a car to schlep around a passel of kids many of whom will be small enough to still warrant at least booster seats based on the safety regulations. If you can think of a basic detail like that what else have you overlooked?

No wonder Honda crushes the competition in minivan sales. As for the vacuum, consumer reports said it worked well as I remember but it only comes on the top of the line model (touring elite) so I would say that it would be an expensive status symbol. Go with the touring if you want the navigation and DVD or drop down one level if you want one or the other.
 
2014-07-19 06:55:15 PM  

TheOtherPrefect42: Well isn't that special. I guess it does have a use if your kids are chronically plugged into the backseat sound system

Did they add more than 2 sets of anchor points to this model? When looking at minivans, it floored me that only the Odyssey had more than 2 sets of anchor points for car seats (5 total). You are designing a car to schlep around a passel of kids many of whom will be small enough to still warrant at least booster seats based on the safety regulations. If you can think of a basic detail like that what else have you overlooked?

No wonder Honda crushes the competition in minivan sales. As for the vacuum, consumer reports said it worked well as I remember but it only comes on the top of the line model (touring elite) so I would say that it would be an expensive status symbol. Go with the touring if you want the navigation and DVD or drop down one level if you want one or the other.


Do you even know what LATCH anchors look like? My '06 Grand Caravan has 3. 5 is a bit excessive, really. By the time you have 3 kids, one of them should be old enough to go in a booster seat.
 
2014-07-19 08:11:43 PM  

Tobin_Lam: TheOtherPrefect42: Well isn't that special. I guess it does have a use if your kids are chronically plugged into the backseat sound system

Did they add more than 2 sets of anchor points to this model? When looking at minivans, it floored me that only the Odyssey had more than 2 sets of anchor points for car seats (5 total). You are designing a car to schlep around a passel of kids many of whom will be small enough to still warrant at least booster seats based on the safety regulations. If you can think of a basic detail like that what else have you overlooked?

No wonder Honda crushes the competition in minivan sales. As for the vacuum, consumer reports said it worked well as I remember but it only comes on the top of the line model (touring elite) so I would say that it would be an expensive status symbol. Go with the touring if you want the navigation and DVD or drop down one level if you want one or the other.

Do you even know what LATCH anchors look like? My '06 Grand Caravan has 3. 5 is a bit excessive, really. By the time you have 3 kids, one of them should be old enough to go in a booster seat.


Several states have gone to 8 or 80 lbs. You can easily have three or more children under 8 with no Irish twins or stair steps. Or you could have twins, then twins again. Or triplets.

My TranSport, the last minivan I owned, had integrated child seats. It was great.
 
2014-07-19 08:12:46 PM  

Tobin_Lam: TheOtherPrefect42: Well isn't that special. I guess it does have a use if your kids are chronically plugged into the backseat sound system

Did they add more than 2 sets of anchor points to this model? When looking at minivans, it floored me that only the Odyssey had more than 2 sets of anchor points for car seats (5 total). You are designing a car to schlep around a passel of kids many of whom will be small enough to still warrant at least booster seats based on the safety regulations. If you can think of a basic detail like that what else have you overlooked?

No wonder Honda crushes the competition in minivan sales. As for the vacuum, consumer reports said it worked well as I remember but it only comes on the top of the line model (touring elite) so I would say that it would be an expensive status symbol. Go with the touring if you want the navigation and DVD or drop down one level if you want one or the other.

Do you even know what LATCH anchors look like? My '06 Grand Caravan has 3. 5 is a bit excessive, really. By the time you have 3 kids, one of them should be old enough to go in a booster seat.


Okay, I see you said booster seat. My bad. But I will stick with my point of multiple births.
 
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