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(Jalopnik)   Ten simple tools every car owner needs. List fails for not including duct tape   (jalopnik.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, body panel, zip tie, MGA  
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4743 clicks; posted to Geek » on 18 Jul 2014 at 11:38 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-18 09:23:59 PM  
No, no.  10 things every home car mechanic needs, not every car owner.

There are some people who I'd recommend *NEVER* do any work on the car outside of cleaning it and putting gas in.

Trying to torque their own tires to specifications?  That's probably not going to happen.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-07-18 09:33:47 PM  
"Jacks and Jack stands."

Not so sure I need those.
 
2014-07-18 10:42:56 PM  
I doubt the author knows what a torque wrench even looks like because there were none shown in that article.
 
2014-07-18 11:36:55 PM  
It's duck tape.

Please stop calling it "duct tape." People think that it's good for use with air ducts. It is not.
 
2014-07-18 11:43:17 PM  
Start and end of list: code reader and a laptop.  That way when your car breaks you can look up what's wrong with it and tell if the mechanic is bullshiatting you.
 
2014-07-18 11:45:35 PM  

Lando Lincoln: It's duck tape.

Please stop calling it "duct tape." People think that it's good for use with air ducts. It is not.


Both are accepted terms. Now bugger off.
 
2014-07-18 11:48:41 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: No, no.  10 things every home car mechanic needs, not every car owner.

There are some people who I'd recommend *NEVER* do any work on the car outside of cleaning it and putting gas in.

Trying to torque their own tires to specifications?  That's probably not going to happen.


Well, 7 things everyone should have around the home, plus a handy item any car owner could benefit from (10) and two things a home mechanic needs (7 & 3).
 
2014-07-18 11:51:47 PM  
Well, in addition to duct tape, you should have some rope, in case you need a tow out of someplace, and a tarp, in case you need to get under the car to repair something. Stock some ether (Starting fluid) along with some cotton gauze (makeshift air filter). A good, sharp knife can be used to cut aluminum cans to patch up exhaust pipes in a spot. Always keep a short-handled shovel handy, to dig your tires out of mud, snow, or ice.

Ball gag is purely optional.
 
2014-07-18 11:53:52 PM  

Lando Lincoln: People think that it's good for use with air ducts. It is not.


It's used all the time with air ducts.

It's never used for ducks.
 
2014-07-18 11:56:03 PM  

Lando Lincoln: It's duck tape.

Please stop calling it "duct tape." People think that it's good for use with air ducts. It is not.


Actual air duct tape exists and is just fine for them..

However, the term duct tape has been accepted as an alternative name by those who wish to sell duck tape without stealing another companies trademark.
 
2014-07-19 12:02:01 AM  
TFA needs to learn the difference between a 'tool' and a 'resource'. He also shown the shiattiest and most inacurate of all tire gauges. Get a dial with pressure hold feature (the nice metal one for $12, not the bullshiat plastic one for $4.99).

/is your 'duck tape' made from real ducks?
 
2014-07-19 12:07:27 AM  
Subby wins for getting DUCT tape right....
 
2014-07-19 12:10:12 AM  

Lando Lincoln: It's duck tape.

Please stop calling it "duct tape." People think that it's good for use with air ducts. It is not.


I have yet to see evidence that it's any good for ducks either.
 
2014-07-19 12:11:44 AM  
It's dug tape, you morans.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-07-19 12:14:08 AM  
gaffing tape.
 
2014-07-19 12:18:06 AM  

Lsherm: Start and end of list: code reader and a laptop.  That way when your car breaks you can look up what's wrong with it and tell if the mechanic is bullshiatting you.


Or a cheap blue-tooth adapter and the free Torque app for Android.

/ There are much cheaper adapters, but that one works well for me
 
2014-07-19 12:26:46 AM  
The vise grips stay in the back of my car to pinch the hatch strut open on the back of my Subaru wagon. I swear the thing weighs 50 pounds. Hatch struts on those old Japanese cars never last.
 
2014-07-19 12:30:37 AM  
Two words: Baling wire

/now watch some nitwit tell me it's 'bailing wire'
 
2014-07-19 12:33:00 AM  

TommyymmoT: I doubt the author knows what a torque wrench even looks like because there were none shown in that article.


http://www.mactools.com/shoponline/pro duct/tabid/120/p-321853-12-drive -micrometer-adjustable-torque-wrench-3 0-150-ftlbs.aspx

Yes, there was. Same one I used before I bought my electronic torque wrench.
 
2014-07-19 12:45:23 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: The vise grips stay in the back of my car to pinch the hatch strut open on the back of my Subaru wagon. I swear the thing weighs 50 pounds. Hatch struts on those old Japanese cars never last.


Kinda slow painful video, it was the first one I found, but I've done this PVC trick before. I don't think the o-ring thing was necessary, just a custom length section of PVC worked for me.
 
2014-07-19 12:46:17 AM  

Lando Lincoln: It's duck tape.

Please stop calling it "duct tape." People think that it's good for use with air ducts. It is not.


Eh?  It's great for patching air ducts, what are you talking about?

Probably the best tape for low-grade positive pressure systems around, at least among the things you can pick up from a hardware store.  The higher-grade expensive versions can even be used to seal class A hazmat gear.

The thing you shouldn't use it on is electrical anything, because it's flammable.

TommyymmoT: I doubt the author knows what a torque wrench even looks like because there were none shown in that article.


It's hard to tell because it's blurry, but it looks like there might be a slip-adjustment assembly on the pictured wrench.

Albeit I question the value of getting all anal about specific torques for the wheel nuts, frankly 'tighten it until it doesn't tighten any more' works just fine for wheels in my experience, so long as you know how to bolt down circular flanges in general (i.e. in an alternating pattern across the center).
 
2014-07-19 12:55:37 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Lando Lincoln: It's duck tape.

Please stop calling it "duct tape." People think that it's good for use with air ducts. It is not.

Eh?  It's great for patching air ducts, what are you talking about?

Probably the best tape for low-grade positive pressure systems around, at least among the things you can pick up from a hardware store.  The higher-grade expensive versions can even be used to seal class A hazmat gear.

The thing you shouldn't use it on is electrical anything, because it's flammable.

TommyymmoT: I doubt the author knows what a torque wrench even looks like because there were none shown in that article.

It's hard to tell because it's blurry, but it looks like there might be a slip-adjustment assembly on the pictured wrench.

Albeit I question the value of getting all anal about specific torques for the wheel nuts, frankly 'tighten it until it doesn't tighten any more' works just fine for wheels in my experience, so long as you know how to bolt down circular flanges in general (i.e. in an alternating pattern across the center).


http://rdabrakes.com.au/page/TB02.aspx
 
2014-07-19 01:02:04 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Albeit I question the value of getting all anal about specific torques for the wheel nuts, frankly 'tighten it until it doesn't tighten any more' works just fine for wheels in my experience, so long as you know how to bolt down circular flanges in general (i.e. in an alternating pattern across the center).


That torque wrench is also all but worthless without using the aforementioned wd40 on the studs and lugnuts first. Especially on aluminum wheels. A slightly heavier oil would be even better. If you see a tire place 'torquing' your lugnuts using either a wrench or impact bars without lubing them first, they're just putting on a show for you so you think that they're doing it right. Might as well just rattle them down with the impact and call it good. Same diff.
 
2014-07-19 01:19:43 AM  
Lando Lincoln:
It's duck tape.

Please stop calling it "duct tape." People think that it's good for use with air ducts. It is not.


Don't you have a vulva/vagina argument to referee someplace?
 
2014-07-19 01:31:20 AM  

violentsalvation: ecmoRandomNumbers: The vise grips stay in the back of my car to pinch the hatch strut open on the back of my Subaru wagon. I swear the thing weighs 50 pounds. Hatch struts on those old Japanese cars never last.

Kinda slow painful video, it was the first one I found, but I've done this PVC trick before. I don't think the o-ring thing was necessary, just a custom length section of PVC worked for me.


Well I'll be god damned. I have a project for tomorrow.

Thank you.
 
2014-07-19 01:50:02 AM  
Forgot bunjee straps.  Not so much for fixing cars but very handy for keeping in the back when life happens.
 
2014-07-19 01:53:12 AM  
LesserEvil,
Well, in addition to duct tape, you should have some rope, in case you need a tow out of someplace, and a tarp, in case you need to get under the car to repair something. Stock some ether (Starting fluid) along with some cotton gauze (makeshift air filter). A good, sharp knife can be used to cut aluminum cans to patch up exhaust pipes in a spot. Always keep a short-handled shovel handy, to dig your tires out of mud, snow, or ice.
Ball gag is purely optional.


You forgot the bag of lime.
 
2014-07-19 02:00:51 AM  
They forgot moth balls for covering up the smell of the body in the trunk.
 
2014-07-19 02:09:27 AM  

LesserEvil: Well, in addition to duct tape, you should have some rope, in case you need a tow out of someplace, and a tarp, in case you need to get under the car to repair something. Stock some ether (Starting fluid) along with some cotton gauze (makeshift air filter). A good, sharp knife can be used to cut aluminum cans to patch up exhaust pipes in a spot. Always keep a short-handled shovel handy, to dig your tires out of mud, snow, or ice.


A couple flattened cardboard boxes will do double-duty as something to lay on and something to put under your tires to get you out of a snowy ditch. Good list anyways.

/Canadian prairie winters separate the prepared from the dead
 
2014-07-19 02:30:28 AM  
Duct tape on my car? Who do you think I am, Red Green?
 
2014-07-19 03:28:41 AM  
If it moves and is not supposed to, duck tape.

If it is supposed to move and it does not, WD-40.

Or

If you can't duck it, fark it.
 
2014-07-19 03:57:15 AM  
No hammer? Everybody needs a hammer.
 
2014-07-19 04:41:36 AM  

433: gaffing tape.


Gaffer tape is a better alternative to duct tape
 
2014-07-19 07:12:42 AM  

Norfolking Chance: .

Gaffer tape is a better alternative to duct tape

*

ahem*. It's called 'gopher' tape.
 
2014-07-19 07:39:13 AM  
I have a weird sort of distrust of tire pressure gauges.  They always seem so flimsy and cheap, and what if some dirt or grit gets in there and affects the reading?  I'd never know it - it might tell me the tire is down to 15 lbs, and I could blow up the tire adding too much air.

I use 2 gauges, and check one's reading against the other.
 
2014-07-19 08:10:18 AM  

This Face Left Blank: I have a weird sort of distrust of tire pressure gauges.  They always seem so flimsy and cheap, and what if some dirt or grit gets in there and affects the reading?  I'd never know it - it might tell me the tire is down to 15 lbs, and I could blow up the tire adding too much air.

I use 2 gauges, and check one's reading against the other.


...you look at the tire, and say 'does it look like it has 15 lbs of air in it?' if not, throw away the gauge. If so, air the tire up.  It's not rocket science, 15 lbs is half of what most tires should have, so the tire will be noticeably flat. Same goes for 20 lbs. If it says 40...let some air out and verify it goes down a bit on the gauge.

10 seconds of common sense to prevent insane conspiracy theory ramblings...
 
2014-07-19 08:22:10 AM  

Hiro-ACiD: LesserEvil: Well, in addition to duct tape, you should have some rope, in case you need a tow out of someplace, and a tarp, in case you need to get under the car to repair something. Stock some ether (Starting fluid) along with some cotton gauze (makeshift air filter). A good, sharp knife can be used to cut aluminum cans to patch up exhaust pipes in a spot. Always keep a short-handled shovel handy, to dig your tires out of mud, snow, or ice.

A couple flattened cardboard boxes will do double-duty as something to lay on and something to put under your tires to get you out of a snowy ditch. Good list anyways.

/Canadian prairie winters separate the prepared from the dead


Zip boards. They are basically 3 ft 1x12 with 1x2 screwed to them. Vice grips are great when you blow a brake line so you can limp home. Had to do it with my jeep when out wheeling. Also WD40 is a pisspoor rust breaker. He should have said PB Blaster with WD40 if you are absolutely desparate and dont have access to Kroil or liquid wrench
 
2014-07-19 08:23:14 AM  

AlanSmithee: Norfolking Chance: .

Gaffer tape is a better alternative to duct tape

*ahem*. It's called 'gopher' tape.


Maybe in the crap low budget abortions you direct but people with talent call it gaffer tape
 
2014-07-19 08:27:08 AM  
indianapublicmedia.org
agrees with Subby.
And money should be #1
 
2014-07-19 08:29:21 AM  

Glitchwerks: Lando Lincoln: People think that it's good for use with air ducts. It is not.

It's used all the time with air ducts.

It's never used for ducks.


It shouldn't be. It's awful. I know. I tried it. It failed miserably. Then I went out and bought some foil tape, which is designed for air ducts. Much better.
 
2014-07-19 08:31:28 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Probably the best tape for low-grade positive pressure systems around, at least among the things you can pick up from a hardware store. The higher-grade expensive versions can even be used to seal class A hazmat gear.


Not where heat is involved. Heat causes it to lose it's adhesion pretty quickly.

Foil tape. Seriously.
 
2014-07-19 08:40:01 AM  
It's called 200mph tape. Especially in a got dang car thread.
 
2014-07-19 08:46:16 AM  

This Face Left Blank: I have a weird sort of distrust of tire pressure gauges.  They always seem so flimsy and cheap, and what if some dirt or grit gets in there and affects the reading?  I'd never know it - it might tell me the tire is down to 15 lbs, and I could blow up the tire adding too much air.

I use 2 gauges, and check one's reading against the other.


I use a single one that is a bit more expensive and well made but I completely understand. You might not like to read the next two sentences though because they might really upset you.

Many people use the gauge that is on the air compressor hose at the gas station.  This is after they have driven far enough to heat up their tires to get to it.
 
2014-07-19 08:50:25 AM  

Lando Lincoln: Please stop calling it "duct tape." People think that it's good for use with air ducts. It is not.


tw-projects.s3.amazonaws.com


Sure it can.
 
2014-07-19 09:43:02 AM  

This Face Left Blank: I have a weird sort of distrust of tire pressure gauges.  They always seem so flimsy and cheap, and what if some dirt or grit gets in there and affects the reading?  I'd never know it - it might tell me the tire is down to 15 lbs, and I could blow up the tire adding too much air.

I use 2 gauges, and check one's reading against the other.


A man with a watch always knows the time. A man with two watches is never certain.
 
2014-07-19 10:17:20 AM  

dennysgod: Lando Lincoln: Please stop calling it "duct tape." People think that it's good for use with air ducts. It is not.

[tw-projects.s3.amazonaws.com image 386x360]


Sure it can.


Not sure if serious, but the picture you posted isn't what anyone in the history of ever has referred to as "duct tape".
 
2014-07-19 10:34:09 AM  
The tool kit for the car :

3/8 drive ratchet w/ 13mm ( 1/2" socket ) & 10mm socket ( german car )

13mm and 10mm combo wrenches

#2 Phillips head screwdriver

#2 Flathead screwdriver

4 hose clamps

1 bottle coolant

Flashlight and extra set of batteries

Road Flares

Tire Inflation Gauge

Roll of Duct Tape

Roll of Electrical tape

Fuse Assortment

If you drive a Yankee car, add a 3/8" and 7/16" socket and combo wrenches. This should cover just about anything that you could possibly fix in a pinch.
 
2014-07-19 11:39:47 AM  

Lando Lincoln: Jim_Callahan: Probably the best tape for low-grade positive pressure systems around, at least among the things you can pick up from a hardware store. The higher-grade expensive versions can even be used to seal class A hazmat gear.

Not where heat is involved. Heat causes it to lose it's adhesion pretty quickly.

Foil tape. Seriously.


Bingo.

Duct tape-especially anything grey- is really only okay on just about everything but ductwork. And with ever increasing standards regarding how tight said ductwork has to be, duct tape really doesn't come close to doing the job correctly. The best part is when you have to take apart ductwork that someone tried to fix with Red Green's full compliment of duct tape. Not only is it deteriorated into a globby mess that's a fun chore to get apart, it's doing so while being terrible at actually sealing the duct run.
Withen ten years or so, it will probably be mandatory when pulling a permit to replace HVAC equipment that the existing ductwork will have to be replaced. 'Conection to existing' will be a thing of the past. Well, in California, at least.
Ten mil tape is a better alternative to duct tape, though you need a knife to cut it. No tearing that stuff.
 
2014-07-19 12:56:12 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Two words: Baling wire

/now watch some nitwit tell me it's 'bailing wire'


I fixed my tractor with actual baling wire once.

Duct/gaffer tape:  if it's OD, it's known as "gun tape" - keeps the 25-pounders together.

Also, a piece of bar soap, to rub on and seal gas tank leaks.
 
2014-07-19 01:00:10 PM  
Lsherm

"Start and end of list: code reader and a laptop.  That way when your car breaks you can look up what's wrong with it and tell if the mechanic is bullshiatting you."

Basic code reader was <$20 from Amazon. Light came on in the car, but everything seemed fine. So I ordered one before going in to get screwed by dealer. The day before the thing arrived, the light went off and hasn't been on since. Best repair tool out there.
 
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