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(Liverpool Echo)   If you look into your rearview mirror, and you see a Range Rover with four guys waving machetes above their heads, do not pull over to see what they want   (liverpoolecho.co.uk) divider line 47
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7664 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2014 at 11:36 PM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-18 08:04:50 PM
Maybe they were just trying to warn the driver about the axe murderer in the back seat?
 
2014-07-18 08:16:01 PM
Works almost every time.
 
2014-07-18 09:25:43 PM
It would give me a reason to press the accelerator, mmmmm.
 
2014-07-18 09:35:40 PM
A man was arrested over a horror attack

Is that anything like a terror attack?
 
2014-07-18 09:37:26 PM
Now you tell me
 
2014-07-18 09:54:31 PM
Supposing that the sign on the truck says something about "Machete Sales & Service" and it just so happens that your machete wasn't working properly?

Or maybe you're the one who has "Nigel's Machete Shop" on the back of your car?

Perhaps you had been carrying a box of machetes on your roof and you knew it wasn't properly secured?
 
2014-07-18 11:38:32 PM
What if you're the driver of a watermelon truck?
 
2014-07-18 11:39:31 PM
Modern journalism.

Where every sentence is a paragraph.
 
2014-07-18 11:42:29 PM
machete attack in jolly old England?  Must have some Brazilian immigrants as those guys are fond of machete fighting. Odds are, at least one of them was named da silva.
 
2014-07-18 11:43:26 PM
Volvo????Land Rover????...That's what's wrong with England, not one British made vehicle.
 
2014-07-18 11:43:59 PM
Life goes on day after day
Hearts torn in every way

/Don't say Gerry & the Pacemakers didn't warn ya
 
2014-07-18 11:46:21 PM
Back in my day you knew when you were in trouble when those goddamn Libyans would come out of their VW station wagon wielding an RPG. Who knows what the future will hold.
 
2014-07-18 11:48:57 PM
They just farked with the wrong Limeys!
 
2014-07-18 11:49:38 PM
And if someone asks if you're a God, you're supposed to say, "Yes!"
 
2014-07-18 11:49:46 PM
What if they're trying to return your machetes that you just forgot?
 
2014-07-18 11:55:36 PM
Swords, axes, chain-whips and cudgels are all still legit, though
 
2014-07-18 11:56:37 PM
Those four guys have got to be psycho to wave Machete over their head.
www.onlygoodmovies.com
 
2014-07-19 12:05:14 AM

fusillade762: A man was arrested over a horror attack

Is that anything like a terror attack?


It's not quite as scary, but a bit bloodier.
 
2014-07-19 12:08:09 AM
Mother of god.
 
2014-07-19 12:12:27 AM

bdub77: Back in my day you knew when you were in trouble when those goddamn Libyans would come out of their VW station wagon wielding an RPG. Who knows what the future will hold.


media.npr.org
 
2014-07-19 12:12:43 AM
It was probably a group of hooligans who were angry over a soccer game.

image.tmdb.org
 
2014-07-19 12:14:52 AM

whatshisname: Modern journalism.

Where every sentence is a paragraph.


The rule of thumb used to be no more than 6 lines per paragraph, but that was for print media. The phenomena of tl;dr was found to be a real thing, so deep blocks  of type were discouraged. You're right: that article carries it to a glaring extreme. I'm wondering if it was set differently in their print version, if they have one.
 
2014-07-19 12:20:07 AM

Danger Avoid Death: whatshisname: Modern journalism.

Where every sentence is a paragraph.

The rule of thumb used to be no more than 6 lines per paragraph, but that was for print media. The phenomena of tl;dr was found to be a real thing, so deep blocks  of type were discouraged. You're right: that article carries it to a glaring extreme. I'm wondering if it was set differently in their print version, if they have one.


Ahahahaha.
 
2014-07-19 12:23:36 AM

Danger Avoid Death: whatshisname: Modern journalism.

I'm wondering

if it was set differently

in their print version

if they have one.


Haiku Jounalism
 
2014-07-19 12:29:41 AM

fusillade762: A man was arrested over a horror attack

Is that anything like a terror attack?


Gotta watch out for those horrorists.
 
2014-07-19 12:34:31 AM

Alunan: Danger Avoid Death: whatshisname: Modern journalism.

Where every sentence is a paragraph.

The rule of thumb used to be no more than 6 lines per paragraph, but that was for print media. The phenomena of tl;dr was found to be a real thing, so deep blocks  of type were discouraged. You're right: that article carries it to a glaring extreme. I'm wondering if it was set differently in their print version, if they have one.

Ahahahaha.


??
 
2014-07-19 12:39:17 AM
Sounds like the precursor to A Clockwork Orange is going on. Did they wear white uniforms and fake noses?
 
2014-07-19 12:49:08 AM
Better lock up your car today,
'Cause Abu Hassan is on his way!
i1.ytimg.com
Do fancy drivin', or you'll be writhin'
From him and the other three guys!
Abu Hassan!
umezoo.com
Abu Hassan!!
 
2014-07-19 12:50:24 AM
Jeez, Liverpool is crazy:
Teen beaten in busy Liverpool street by gang on bikes: http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/teen-beaten-busy-street-gang-7449 8 55
 
2014-07-19 12:54:45 AM
The most important question is did the chase go up the A5049 to Queen's Drive West Derby, or down A59 through Kirkdale, A5089 Anfield, and up Rocky Lane?
 
2014-07-19 01:07:20 AM

Optimal_Illusion: Better lock up your car today,
'Cause Abu Hassan is on his way!
[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]
Do fancy drivin', or you'll be writhin'
From him and the other three guys!
Abu Hassan!
[umezoo.com image 720x304]
Abu Hassan!!


Oh dear gawd. Look:

Scimitar:
img4.wikia.nocookie.net

Machete:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

Notice any differences?
 
2014-07-19 01:08:40 AM

Mentalpatient87: fusillade762: A man was arrested over a horror attack

Is that anything like a terror attack?

Gotta watch out for those horrorists.


Move as a team
Never move alone
Welcome to the Horrordome
 
2014-07-19 01:17:08 AM
Something something nanny-state gun laws, something.
 
2014-07-19 01:23:58 AM

E5bie: Optimal_Illusion: Better lock up your car today,
'Cause Abu Hassan is on his way!
[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]
Do fancy drivin', or you'll be writhin'
From him and the other three guys!
Abu Hassan!
[umezoo.com image 720x304]
Abu Hassan!!

Oh dear gawd. Look:

Scimitar:
[img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 391x600]

Machete:
[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 222x227]

Notice any differences?


One has a black handle....
 
2014-07-19 01:31:45 AM

E5bie: Optimal_Illusion: Better lock up your car today,
'Cause Abu Hassan is on his way!
[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]
Do fancy drivin', or you'll be writhin'
From him and the other three guys!
Abu Hassan!
[umezoo.com image 720x304]
Abu Hassan!!

Oh dear gawd. Look:

Scimitar:
[img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 391x600]

Machete:
[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 222x227]

Notice any differences?


CURVED. SWORDS!
 
2014-07-19 01:38:32 AM

dj_bigbird: Jeez, Liverpool is crazy:
Teen beaten in busy Liverpool street by gang on bikes: http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/teen-beaten-busy-street-gang-7449 8 55


Quite rightly: http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/crime-reported-merseyside-every-f i ve-and-a-half-7446577

No wonder the Beatles bailed when they could.

That was in 1963, and they took all that tax money with them. Took Liverpool a while to get over that.
 
2014-07-19 01:54:53 AM

E5bie: Optimal_Illusion: Better lock up your car today,
'Cause Abu Hassan is on his way!
[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]
Do fancy drivin', or you'll be writhin'
From him and the other three guys!
Abu Hassan!
[umezoo.com image 720x304]
Abu Hassan!!

Oh dear gawd. Look:

Scimitar:
[img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 391x600]

Machete:
[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 222x227]

Notice any differences?


For the sake of the joke, NO!
 
2014-07-19 02:18:22 AM
so let me get this straight -- you can attack someone with a machete to the head... possibly killing them, and you just post bail and are walking free later that afternoon?

Article makes it sound like the Volvo driver just left his doors unlocked, also.... he didn't try to run over any of them?  Sorry -- but it's a Volvo designed in every aspect for safety, it's a sure bet that Volvo vs some crazy guys on food with swords.... Volvo is going to win if you use it properly.

It's england so it's all backwards over there anyway.   Glad I live in texas and have my CHL.  Although I don't carry as often as I should out of sheer laziness/not worrying about crazy things like sword wielding wackos.
 
2014-07-19 03:27:21 AM
Why not? it still leaves me 11 rounds in the magazine. Plenty to get back from the gym...
 
2014-07-19 04:31:19 AM
It's one thing to not have standards for yourself, it's an entirely different thing when you demand other people stop having standards as well
 
2014-07-19 04:53:38 AM

accelerus: so let me get this straight -- you can attack someone with a machete to the head... possibly killing them, and you just post bail and are walking free later that afternoon?

Article makes it sound like the Volvo driver just left his doors unlocked, also.... he didn't try to run over any of them?  Sorry -- but it's a Volvo designed in every aspect for safety, it's a sure bet that Volvo vs some crazy guys on food with swords.... Volvo is going to win if you use it properly.

It's england so it's all backwards over there anyway.   Glad I live in texas and have my CHL.  Although I don't carry as often as I should out of sheer laziness/not worrying about crazy things like sword wielding wackos.


He was on bail because of the lack of evidence to link him with the crime. I know in Texas lack of evidence or even guilt isn't a problem when it comes to locking up people for decades but in Britain we still take that stuff seriously.
 
2014-07-19 09:12:55 AM

E5bie: Optimal_Illusion: Better lock up your car today,
'Cause Abu Hassan is on his way!
[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]
Do fancy drivin', or you'll be writhin'
From him and the other three guys!
Abu Hassan!
[umezoo.com image 720x304]
Abu Hassan!!

Oh dear gawd. Look:

Scimitar:


Machete:


Notice any differences?


Close enough for government work.
 
2014-07-19 09:14:27 AM
Black Range Rover?

I'm going to go with gang of drug dealers.
 
2014-07-19 10:59:57 AM

Point02GPA: Volvo????Land Rover????...That's what's wrong with England, not one British made vehicle.


I had't realized that Tata had shifted Range Rover production from Solihull to Bangalore.

 
2014-07-19 11:04:27 AM

Lochsteppe: E5bie: Optimal_Illusion: Better lock up your car today,
'Cause Abu Hassan is on his way!
[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]
Do fancy drivin', or you'll be writhin'
From him and the other three guys!
Abu Hassan!
[umezoo.com image 720x304]
Abu Hassan!!

Oh dear gawd. Look:

Scimitar:
[img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 391x600]

Machete:
[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 222x227]

Notice any differences?

CURVED. SWORDS!



Single-edge slashing swords, mass-weighted towards the tip, a la cutlass - otherwise, not the same.
 
hej
2014-07-19 11:08:25 AM

E5bie: Optimal_Illusion: Better lock up your car today,
'Cause Abu Hassan is on his way!
[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]
Do fancy drivin', or you'll be writhin'
From him and the other three guys!
Abu Hassan!
[umezoo.com image 720x304]
Abu Hassan!!

Oh dear gawd. Look:

Scimitar:


Machete:


Notice any differences?


The first one is used by light brown Muslims, the other by dark brown Muslims.
 
2014-07-19 11:20:11 AM

arkansized: E5bie: Optimal_Illusion: Better lock up your car today,
'Cause Abu Hassan is on his way!
[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]
Do fancy drivin', or you'll be writhin'
From him and the other three guys!
Abu Hassan!
[umezoo.com image 720x304]
Abu Hassan!!

Oh dear gawd. Look:

Scimitar:


Machete:


Notice any differences?

Close enough for government work.


yeah, that's gotta be like the AK-47 of the sharp objects world, at least as far as joirnalism goes...
 
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