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(Gawker)   Gawker reporter's assignment: figure out if TGI Friday's unlimited appetizers deal really is unlimited by eating mozzarella sticks for fourteen hours straight   (gawker.com) divider line 267
    More: Sick, TGI Friday's Inc., M.C. Escher, Heinz ketchup, mobile games, copywriters, read aloud, Sheepshead Bay  
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14574 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2014 at 4:43 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



267 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-18 01:11:04 PM  
The offer of unlimited mozzarella sticks is definitely binding.
 
2014-07-18 01:29:38 PM  
"customers can gorge themselves on unlimited appetizers-without fear of punishment, embarrassment, or ostracization"

"Hey Hon... let's eat out tonight instead. I think TGIs has some kind of deal going."

www.mediterraneandiet.com
 
2014-07-18 01:46:30 PM  
...and then not pooing for 14 days...

Eating that much cheese is like pouring a bucket of bacon grease down your sink: it will set, and then NOTHING will get through.
 
2014-07-18 01:56:49 PM  
I can honestly say that this is the first Gawker article I've ever read that I found laugh-inducingly entertaining and well-written from start to finish.
 
2014-07-18 02:04:17 PM  
I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...
 
2014-07-18 02:09:24 PM  

netizencain: I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...


Yeah, that's the the only part I found a bit disappointing.
 
2014-07-18 02:10:02 PM  
I definitely think this link deserves better than banishment to the Business tab backwater, though.
 
2014-07-18 02:10:45 PM  

netizencain: I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...


If they were relatively tasty, I think I could go through more than 32 in a single day. If they were what TGI Friday's normally serves, I'm not sure I could eat a single plate.
 
2014-07-18 02:12:14 PM  

whistleridge: ...and then not pooing for 14 days...

Eating that much cheese is like pouring a bucket of bacon grease down your sink: it will set, and then NOTHING will get through.



That's why you chug a bottle of Dawn afterwards.
 
2014-07-18 02:13:13 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I can honestly say that this is the first Gawker article I've ever read that I found laugh-inducingly entertaining and well-written from start to finish.


What he said.

Also herds of mozzarella sticks is my favorite new term.
 
2014-07-18 02:13:55 PM  
@ 3:20PM: Stockholm Syndrome starts to set in

Pocket Ninja: I definitely think this link deserves better than banishment to the Business tab backwater, though.


Well at least it didn't get exiled to the FarkUs tab, where links go to die a slow, unnoticed death.

/C'mon mods, this actually deserves Main page
 
2014-07-18 02:22:03 PM  
What a boring article. He didn't eat anything.  I could eat 32 in one hour.
 
2014-07-18 02:22:27 PM  
This piece is definitely better-prepared than Fridays' menu items.
 
2014-07-18 02:25:53 PM  

netizencain: I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...


I think it was more about the monumental, heroic effort of spending 14 hours in a TGI Fridays if you are not being paid to do so.  Hell, even if you ARE being paid.
 
2014-07-18 02:33:34 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I can honestly say that this is the first Gawker article I've ever read that I found laugh-inducingly entertaining and well-written from start to finish.


Given your well-known MO, I'm not sure whether to take this comment at face value or not.

Damn you for making me read a Gawker piece just to find out ;-)
 
2014-07-18 02:41:01 PM  

Blues_X: whistleridge: ...and then not pooing for 14 days...

Eating that much cheese is like pouring a bucket of bacon grease down your sink: it will set, and then NOTHING will get through.


That's why you chug a bottle of Dawn afterwards.


You would get along with my Great Dane. He drank an entire wok full of used fry oil (~2 gallons) that had been left out overnight to cool.

Other than puking 99% of it back up 30 minutes later, he appeared to be fine. God knows why or how he got that much oil down.

Actually, his case is pretty similar. Ingesting too much fat in one go can overload your pancreas and cause some pretty serious pancreatitis. I had to take off of work to watch him all day, just to be safe. This idiot could well have the same problem.
 
2014-07-18 02:48:11 PM  
7:15 p.m. What if I've been a ghost the whole time?

7:21 p.m. What if I've been a dream the whole time? What if I haven't even gotten to TGI Friday's yet because I'm still asleep the night before, and now I've wasted my whole REM cycle in this boring dream?

7:23 p.m. I order more mozzarella sticks. :(

I lost it right there. Excellent read.
 
2014-07-18 02:48:23 PM  

netizencain: I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...


it was a chick.  For some reason i had assumed it was a dude.  that makes it more respectable.
 
2014-07-18 02:49:54 PM  

Ennuipoet: netizencain: I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...

I think it was more about the monumental, heroic effort of spending 14 hours in a TGI Fridays if you are not being paid to do so.  Hell, even if you ARE being paid.


she was.
 
2014-07-18 02:51:00 PM  
 
2014-07-18 03:15:30 PM  

SlothB77: Ennuipoet: netizencain: I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...

I think it was more about the monumental, heroic effort of spending 14 hours in a TGI Fridays if you are not being paid to do so.  Hell, even if you ARE being paid.

she was.


I do want to express my condolences for the poor, poor bastards who are regularly employed at TGI Fridays as well.  I'm so, so, sorry.  I once worked at a Wal-Mart, I feel your pain.
 
2014-07-18 03:26:27 PM  
That was actually a great article
 
2014-07-18 04:03:52 PM  

SnakeLee: That was actually a great article


Surprisingly so. I was just skimming to get the gist, then went back to read the whole thing. Whoever she is, her torment amused me.
 
2014-07-18 04:26:33 PM  

BalugaJoe: What a boring article. He didn't eat anything.  I could eat 32 in one hour.


To be fair, he was a she.
 
2014-07-18 04:36:48 PM  

IamKaiserSoze!!!: BalugaJoe: What a boring article. He didn't eat anything.  I could eat 32 in one hour.

To be fair, he was a she.


And said, "Hey, babe... take a walk on the wild side...."
 
2014-07-18 04:42:49 PM  

scottydoesntknow: /C'mon mods, this actually deserves Main page


done
 
2014-07-18 04:48:04 PM  
Its gonna take a week for the doctors to surgically remove the mozzarella cheese turd from him gullet.
 
2014-07-18 04:48:16 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-18 04:48:23 PM  
Caity Weaver is awesome. Her articles are pretty regularly hilarious.
 
2014-07-18 04:48:49 PM  
dilbert.com
 
2014-07-18 04:49:39 PM  

Serious Black: netizencain: I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...

If they were relatively tasty, I think I could go through more than 32 in a single day. If they were what TGI Friday's normally serves, I'm not sure I could eat a single plate.


Unlimited potato skins, though? That's a different story. Those things are just a delivery system for sour cream, chives, and cheese.
 
2014-07-18 04:51:29 PM  

Gonz: Serious Black: netizencain: I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...

If they were relatively tasty, I think I could go through more than 32 in a single day. If they were what TGI Friday's normally serves, I'm not sure I could eat a single plate.

Unlimited potato skins, though? That's a different story. Those things are just a delivery system for sour cream, chives, and cheese.


I would've gone with the chicken wings.
 
2014-07-18 04:51:55 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

This is the most compelling Gawker article since their expose on The Neverending Story.
 
2014-07-18 04:54:15 PM  

whistleridge: ...and then not pooing for 14 days...

Eating that much cheese is like pouring a bucket of bacon grease down your sink: it will set, and then NOTHING will get through.


Nah, he just needs to drink a couple pots of coffee, and then it will clear like a Scud missile made of DU.
 
2014-07-18 04:55:02 PM  

whistleridge: ...and then not pooing for 14 days...

Eating that much cheese is like pouring a bucket of bacon grease down your sink: it will set, and then NOTHING will get through.


www.funny-potato.com

For your consideration ... cheese sticks wrapped in bacon. Comes with a free balloon angioplasty.
 
2014-07-18 04:55:35 PM  
Friday's mozzarella sticks are awful, awful little tubes of sadness and wasted potential.

Arby's mozzarella sticks are manifestations of God's love in the form of a cylinder.

/why are you looking at me like that
 
2014-07-18 04:56:54 PM  
Her editor offered her a week vacation if she stuck it out the whole time. Unfortunately she'll spend it curled up on the bathroom floor.

Worth it for the lulz though, I suppose.
 
2014-07-18 04:58:05 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I can honestly say that this is the first Gawker article I've ever read that I found laugh-inducingly entertaining and well-written from start to finish.


I thought that it was pretty bad. Seemed like the most whiny teenage girl ever, who can't handle not being on her phone every two seconds. Also the whole thing about hating mozzarella sticks and puking made her sound like a teenage girl with an eating disorder. Was pretty clear she hated Fridays and would negatively comment on anything there. Bonus points for the fake lezzie stuff with the chef.

Article would have been much better if they sent a mature adult male instead of a teenage female hipster.
 
2014-07-18 04:58:32 PM  
If in some states a bartender can get in trouble for serving the visibly drunk can TGIF get in trouble for still serving the visibly fat if they have a heart attack at TGIF after 14 hours of binge eating mozzarella sticks.
 
2014-07-18 04:59:05 PM  

netizencain: I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...


There is another much better story where they took a professional eater to Fridays and had him buy 2 unlimited appetizers. He ate so many potstickers that Fridays ran out.
 
2014-07-18 05:00:37 PM  
Thirty two? I'm assuming 4 per basket; so, 8 baskets over 14 hours? Plus, something like 5 beers? That would probably seem fairly sisyphean; but, I could do better. I mean, come on, he's doing 2 1/4 "cheese" sticks an hour. They'd be pretty nasty after 2 hours. You have to eat them hot.
 
2014-07-18 05:00:55 PM  

BalugaJoe: What a boring article. He didn't eat anything.  I could eat 32 in one hour.


She. She is in the ladies bathroom a few times for fake lezzie teen shiat. Also mentions having a purse and head-scarf or whatever.
 
2014-07-18 05:01:52 PM  

Ennuipoet: netizencain: I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...

I think it was more about the monumental, heroic effort of spending 14 hours in a TGI Fridays if you are not being paid to do so.  Hell, even if you ARE being paid.


Wut? The author made 6 days pay for spending 14 hours there. She's just a whiny biatch.
 
2014-07-18 05:03:40 PM  
Ouch, my colon!
 
2014-07-18 05:04:14 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Gonz: Serious Black: netizencain: I was expecting more than just 32 eaten...

If they were relatively tasty, I think I could go through more than 32 in a single day. If they were what TGI Friday's normally serves, I'm not sure I could eat a single plate.

Unlimited potato skins, though? That's a different story. Those things are just a delivery system for sour cream, chives, and cheese.

I would've gone with the chicken wings.


"boneless buffalo wings"

Anywhere besides Duffs or Anchor Bar in Buffalo NY doesn't deserve to be called chicken wings.
 
2014-07-18 05:04:48 PM  
That was very entertaining but I agree with her, should have tried the potato skins or buffalo wings.  Regardless I say good effort.  I'd probably have thrown up too.
 
2014-07-18 05:05:39 PM  

iheartscotch: Thirty two? I'm assuming 4 per basket; so, 8 baskets over 14 hours? Plus, something like 5 beers? That would probably seem fairly sisyphean; but, I could do better. I mean, come on, he's doing 2 1/4 "cheese" sticks an hour. They'd be pretty nasty after 2 hours. You have to eat them hot.


It is 6 per plate. Don't post if you didn't read.
 
2014-07-18 05:08:33 PM  

Blues_X: whistleridge: ...and then not pooing for 14 days...

Eating that much cheese is like pouring a bucket of bacon grease down your sink: it will set, and then NOTHING will get through.


That's why you chug a bottle of Dawn afterwards.


I was thinking the Baking Soda Challrnge, followed by chugging vinegar.
 
2014-07-18 05:09:11 PM  
Three hours to get through plate 2? No wonder they were bad, they were cold.

It also would have taken a lot less than 7 hours for me to organize the sugar packets.
 
2014-07-18 05:10:40 PM  

Bullseyed: iheartscotch: Thirty two? I'm assuming 4 per basket; so, 8 baskets over 14 hours? Plus, something like 5 beers? That would probably seem fairly sisyphean; but, I could do better. I mean, come on, he's doing 2 1/4 "cheese" sticks an hour. They'd be pretty nasty after 2 hours. You have to eat them hot.

It is 6 per plate. Don't post if you didn't read.



But.....this is Fark....where I learned "dnrtfa but....."
forced to read AND post ought to earn a badge of some sort.....
 
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