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(Uproxx)   The first clip from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is about as reassuring as you'd expect   (uproxx.com ) divider line
    More: Cool, April O'Neil, dry-erase, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, scenic design, Whoopi Goldberg  
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4210 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Jul 2014 at 1:48 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-18 01:05:05 PM  
Man, if the audience of a movie titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles needs that much reassurance that the movie is about mutant turtles who are ninjas, this is really rock bottom.
 
2014-07-18 01:55:02 PM  

serial_crusher: Man, if the audience of a movie titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles needs that much reassurance that the movie is about mutant turtles who are ninjas, this is really rock bottom.


Since the first leak was that they were aliens and not mutants, the reassurance seems like marketing CYA.
 
2014-07-18 01:59:07 PM  

serial_crusher: Man, if the audience of a movie titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles needs that much reassurance that the movie is about mutant turtles who are ninjas, this is really rock bottom.


Considering it's being directed by Michael Bay, there's really no reassurance they can give anyway.
 
2014-07-18 02:01:54 PM  
"They're ninjas....and they do Karate."

Ummm...
 
2014-07-18 02:06:31 PM  
I know people dismiss the badness of Transformers and this movie based on the subject matter but it doesn't have to be that way. Have some writers put actual effort into the story like they did with the new Apes movies.

Just because the subject matter is ridiculous doesn't mean your movie has to suck.

Give the turtles some heart instead of bathroom humour.
Make Optimus Prime noble not a psychotic catchphrase spouting killer!
 
2014-07-18 02:10:00 PM  
Will it be better or worse than Roger Corman's Immature Irradiated Samurai Salamanders, produced for $875 and starring the girl who was the ugly sister on "Just The Ten of Us" as May O'Hara?
 
2014-07-18 02:11:25 PM  

Summoner101: serial_crusher: Man, if the audience of a movie titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles needs that much reassurance that the movie is about mutant turtles who are ninjas, this is really rock bottom.

Considering it's being directed by Michael Bay, there's really no reassurance they can give anyway.


It's actually not being directed by him.  He's producing it.  Jonathan Liebesman  is directing.  He did Battle: Los Angeles and Wrath of the Titans.  Not that that is much better.
 
2014-07-18 02:15:30 PM  
 
2014-07-18 02:17:30 PM  

sign_of_Zeta: Summoner101: serial_crusher: Man, if the audience of a movie titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles needs that much reassurance that the movie is about mutant turtles who are ninjas, this is really rock bottom.

Considering it's being directed by Michael Bay, there's really no reassurance they can give anyway.

It's actually not being directed by him.  He's producing it.  Jonathan Liebesman  is directing.  He did Battle: Los Angeles and Wrath of the Titans.  Not that that is much better.


That right there is a resume of suckage.
 
2014-07-18 02:19:55 PM  
Wow, that was 31 seconds of flat delivery and overall crap...

And the clip w/Whoopi wasn't any better.
 
2014-07-18 02:21:13 PM  
No Vanilla Ice?  Pass.
 
2014-07-18 02:24:21 PM  

sign_of_Zeta: Summoner101: serial_crusher: Man, if the audience of a movie titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles needs that much reassurance that the movie is about mutant turtles who are ninjas, this is really rock bottom.

Considering it's being directed by Michael Bay, there's really no reassurance they can give anyway.

It's actually not being directed by him.  He's producing it.  Jonathan Liebesman  is directing.  He did Battle: Los Angeles and Wrath of the Titans.  Not that that is much better.


I would take Pearl Harbor over Battle: Los Angeles EVERY DAY for the rest of my life.
 
2014-07-18 02:25:19 PM  

Decillion: I know people dismiss the badness of Transformers and this movie based on the subject matter but it doesn't have to be that way. Have some writers put actual effort into the story like they did with the new Apes movies.

Just because the subject matter is ridiculous doesn't mean your movie has to suck.

Give the turtles some heart instead of bathroom humour.
Make Optimus Prime noble not a psychotic catchphrase spouting killer!


The first Transformers is REALLY good. It's interesting, amusing and you can follow the plot.
 
2014-07-18 02:25:52 PM  
Lets also remember the demographic this movie targets don't even have their drivers licenses yet.  Proper expectation means less disappointment in the end.
 
2014-07-18 02:25:57 PM  
static.comicvine.com
 
2014-07-18 02:28:53 PM  
Teenaged  mutated turtles waging war against a mechanical samurai with ninja skills taught to them by a rat?  OK I'll suspend my disbelief.  But you really expect me to believe that Megan Fox can act?
 
2014-07-18 02:38:40 PM  
Whoopi Goldberg? I had to check and make sure it was the right article
 
2014-07-18 02:42:58 PM  
April O'Neil the porn star would've been a better choice than Megan Fox.
 
2014-07-18 02:52:51 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: Decillion: I know people dismiss the badness of Transformers and this movie based on the subject matter but it doesn't have to be that way. Have some writers put actual effort into the story like they did with the new Apes movies.

Just because the subject matter is ridiculous doesn't mean your movie has to suck.

Give the turtles some heart instead of bathroom humour.
Make Optimus Prime noble not a psychotic catchphrase spouting killer!

The first Transformers is REALLY good. It's interesting, amusing and you can follow the plot.


The first does have some actual good moments. Prime has some noble sentiments when things start out. They capture some of the 'boy and his car' stuff that is at the heart of Transformers. Plus some good action. And that moment they decide to get into Bumblebee after the police car fight works really well.

But there's a lot of bad stuff that is forgotten because 2 and 3 were so much worse.
 
2014-07-18 02:55:23 PM  
Why does Toe-Thumb keep getting acting jobs? Oh yeah, because she's sexy. It's certainly not because she can't act.

Also, Whoppi phoned that in as well.

And no, this movie isn't for kids, kids don't care about ninja turtles. THIS MOVIE IS FOR US AND THEY'RE RUINING IT.
 
2014-07-18 03:01:39 PM  
Looks like something I will sit through if I'm ever comatose and on life support, and my family is trying the 'annoy him with bad TV so he wakes up' technique.
 
2014-07-18 03:09:10 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: Decillion: I know people dismiss the badness of Transformers and this movie based on the subject matter but it doesn't have to be that way. Have some writers put actual effort into the story like they did with the new Apes movies.

Just because the subject matter is ridiculous doesn't mean your movie has to suck.

Give the turtles some heart instead of bathroom humour.
Make Optimus Prime noble not a psychotic catchphrase spouting killer!

The first Transformers is REALLY good. It's interesting, amusing and you can follow the plot.


Well yeah, but Unicron can make any movie work.
 
2014-07-18 03:10:42 PM  
Jim from Saint Paul:

The first Transformers is REALLY good. It's interesting, amusing and you can follow the plot.

As someone who is actually a fan of these movies, please tell me that was a joke.
 
2014-07-18 03:15:07 PM  

Decillion: The first does have some actual good moments.


W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Ju-ju-ju-ju-ju-ju-ju-ju-ju-

N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-

// was it 1 or 2 where his mom gets stoned?
 
2014-07-18 03:18:17 PM  

Decillion: I know people dismiss the badness of Transformers and this movie based on the subject matter but it doesn't have to be that way. Have some writers put actual effort into the story like they did with the new Apes movies.

Just because the subject matter is ridiculous doesn't mean your movie has to suck.

Give the turtles some heart instead of bathroom humour.
Make Optimus Prime noble not a psychotic catchphrase spouting killer!


Sorry, we're fresh out of heart. Would you settle for giving them noses? Oh, and some injections of anabolic steroids and Amphibian Growth Hormone? Like massive, Sylvester Stallone-level injections?

/damn Hollywood suits, they're going to give the Nickelodeon toon turtles some major body image issues.
 
2014-07-18 03:27:12 PM  

Dr Dreidel: // was it 1 or 2 where his mom gets stoned?


Ugh. Two
 
2014-07-18 03:30:03 PM  
media-cdn.tripadvisor.com
 
2014-07-18 03:31:03 PM  

marius2: Why does Toe-Thumb keep getting acting jobs? Oh yeah, because she's sexy. It's certainly not because she can't act.

Also, Whoppi phoned that in as well.

And no, this movie isn't for kids, kids don't care about ninja turtles. THIS MOVIE IS FOR US AND THEY'RE RUINING IT.


I take it you don't have kids of the age to like ninja turtles then.
 
2014-07-18 03:42:04 PM  

marius2: Why does Toe-Thumb keep getting acting jobs? Oh yeah, because she's sexy. It's certainly not because she can't act.

Also, Whoppi phoned that in as well.

And no, this movie isn't for kids, kids don't care about ninja turtles. THIS MOVIE IS FOR US AND THEY'RE RUINING IT.


She spends a lot of time on her knees in front of the right people.
 
2014-07-18 03:46:08 PM  
They missed a gold opportunity with that casting:

i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-18 03:49:59 PM  
This movie is very likely going to suck, but I'll most likely still go see it.
 
2014-07-18 03:54:57 PM  

sea_monkey: the demographic this movie targets don't even have their drivers licenses yet


I thnk the demographic is more 'haven't lost their viginity yet' which covers the kids plus the over-18 losers who still go see movies about ninja turtles
 
2014-07-18 04:04:11 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: April O'Neil the porn star would've been a better choice than Megan Fox.


When April's Anus attacks
These turtles pull out and come on her back...
 
2014-07-18 04:09:52 PM  

marius2: And no, this movie isn't for kids, kids don't care about ninja turtles. THIS MOVIE IS FOR US AND THEY'RE RUINING IT


You should stop thinking you know things.
And the sun, it's not just going around you.
 
2014-07-18 04:18:51 PM  
Remember folks. This movie looks stupid, not because its about mutated anthropomorphic turtles trained to be ninjas by a mutated anthropomorphic rat, and who also happen to be teenagers obsessed with pizza and skateboarding, but because the mutated anthropomorphic ninja turtles are too tall and furthermore their noses are weird

You idiots
 
2014-07-18 04:23:54 PM  
The preview looked good.  Still put off by the weird nose/snout thing, but can live with it.  It looks like they got the turtles' personalities down well enough, which was the big appeal for me as a kid.
 
2014-07-18 04:26:33 PM  
Considering how none of the older TMNT movies were any good and people only watched it because of the TV series, it's amusing to see people trying to hold the new movie to a standard that never was.

Kids are stupid and easily entertained. This is why they liked the older movies, and why they would like the new one too; but too bad the kids today don't give a shiat about TMNT.
 
2014-07-18 04:29:53 PM  

Fallout Boy: Considering how none of the older TMNT movies were any good and people only watched it because of the TV series, it's amusing to see people trying to hold the new movie to a standard that never was.

Kids are stupid and easily entertained. This is why they liked the older movies, and why they would like the new one too; but too bad the kids today don't give a shiat about TMNT.


I loved the original ninja turtles cartoon when I was a kid, and I can even watch the old episodes now because of the nostalgia, but it is objectively awful. The new CGI show is way better than it.
 
2014-07-18 04:32:36 PM  

Uncle Pooky: Jim from Saint Paul:

The first Transformers is REALLY good. It's interesting, amusing and you can follow the plot.

As someone who is actually a fan of these movies, please tell me that was a joke.


Not kidding. I understood what was happening, I knew who all the good guys and bad guys. The acting of course was "meh". Besides that it was amusing and I have always enjoyed watching it. Which I can;t say for the other 3.

YMMV of course.
 
2014-07-18 04:33:35 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Will it be better or worse than Roger Corman's Immature Irradiated Samurai Salamanders, produced for $875 and starring the girl who was the ugly sister on "Just The Ten of Us" as May O'Hara?


www.covernk.com

neiljam.com

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-07-18 04:34:54 PM  

CPennypacker: The new CGI show is way better than it.


The CGI show on Nickelodeon is good enough I would watch it without using my kids as an excuse.

It's not quite on the level of Avatar and Korra, yet it's certainly much better then most other cartoons the last few years.
 
2014-07-18 04:38:43 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: CPennypacker: The new CGI show is way better than it.

The CGI show on Nickelodeon is good enough I would watch it without using my kids as an excuse.

It's not quite on the level of Avatar and Korra, yet it's certainly much better then most other cartoons the last few years.


A bit off topic, but I'm liking how Korra has been doing 2 episodes a week now, and this season is shaping up better than the last one.
 
2014-07-18 04:43:33 PM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: Jim from Saint Paul: CPennypacker: The new CGI show is way better than it.

The CGI show on Nickelodeon is good enough I would watch it without using my kids as an excuse.

It's not quite on the level of Avatar and Korra, yet it's certainly much better then most other cartoons the last few years.

A bit off topic, but I'm liking how Korra has been doing 2 episodes a week now, and this season is shaping up better than the last one.


WAIT.

There's a season 3 already?!

Wiki: The season began airing on Nickelodeon in the U.S. on June 27, 2014. The season finale is to be aired on August 8, 2014.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
 
2014-07-18 04:46:28 PM  
Bunch of people in this thread complaining that a movie made for people younger than them won't be as good as the one with the Vanilla Ice concert climax.

The movies you loved as a kid weren't that great either.
 
2014-07-18 04:49:10 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: Dingleberry Dickwad: Jim from Saint Paul: CPennypacker: The new CGI show is way better than it.

The CGI show on Nickelodeon is good enough I would watch it without using my kids as an excuse.

It's not quite on the level of Avatar and Korra, yet it's certainly much better then most other cartoons the last few years.

A bit off topic, but I'm liking how Korra has been doing 2 episodes a week now, and this season is shaping up better than the last one.

WAIT.

There's a season 3 already?!

Wiki: The season began airing on Nickelodeon in the U.S. on June 27, 2014. The season finale is to be aired on August 8, 2014.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


Pretty sure you can watch the stuff that's been aired so far this year on the Nick website. They're only 6 episodes in so far. They've been doing 2 eps every Friday since the 27th of June with an exception for the weekend of the 4th.  I don't want to spoil things for you, but you get to see another character from the first series as an old person.
 
2014-07-18 04:51:31 PM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: Jim from Saint Paul: Dingleberry Dickwad: Jim from Saint Paul: CPennypacker: The new CGI show is way better than it.

The CGI show on Nickelodeon is good enough I would watch it without using my kids as an excuse.

It's not quite on the level of Avatar and Korra, yet it's certainly much better then most other cartoons the last few years.

A bit off topic, but I'm liking how Korra has been doing 2 episodes a week now, and this season is shaping up better than the last one.

WAIT.

There's a season 3 already?!

Wiki: The season began airing on Nickelodeon in the U.S. on June 27, 2014. The season finale is to be aired on August 8, 2014.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Pretty sure you can watch the stuff that's been aired so far this year on the Nick website. They're only 6 episodes in so far. They've been doing 2 eps every Friday since the 27th of June with an exception for the weekend of the 4th.  I don't want to spoil things for you, but you get to see another character from the first series as an old person.


NICE.

Looking forward to catching up.

Reminds me that I should probably rewatch last season as well since it's been a while.
 
2014-07-18 05:03:12 PM  

Fallout Boy: Considering how none of the older TMNT movies were any good and people only watched it because of the TV series, it's amusing to see people trying to hold the new movie to a standard that never was.

Kids are stupid and easily entertained. This is why they liked the older movies, and why they would like the new one too; but too bad the kids today don't give a shiat about TMNT.


You must not have seen the animated movie from about 5 years ago. You should, it captures the universe well and is a good movie.
 
2014-07-18 05:09:58 PM  

CPennypacker: Remember folks. This movie looks stupid, not because its about mutated anthropomorphic turtles trained to be ninjas by a mutated anthropomorphic rat, and who also happen to be teenagers obsessed with pizza and skateboarding, but because the mutated anthropomorphic ninja turtles are too tall and furthermore their noses are weird & Michael Bay

You idiots


Added a bit for you.
 
2014-07-18 05:18:15 PM  
I hit the back button as soon as I saw Whoopi.
 
2014-07-18 06:25:44 PM  

Fallout Boy: Considering how none of the older TMNT movies were any good '


Don't make me fight you.  The first movie was all pulled from the comics and told their story really well.  The writing was solid and the special effects still hold up.

In fact, here.  Watch this: A 10 minute breakdown of the first TMNT movie  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oqxqs2Q78c

(The second one is crap though.)
 
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