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(Esquire)   Man eats pizza every day for 25 years and lives to tell about it. "Why would I eat a carrot when I could eat a pizza?"   (esquire.com ) divider line
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5282 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2014 at 11:31 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-18 09:38:57 AM  
Every poser vegetarian will tell you that their diet is healthier than yours.

Every poser vegetarian eats a crapton of pizza and other unhealthy meat-free foods. It's quite possible to be vegetarian and gain flab at the same time.

I understand if your religion bans eating flesh. I understand if you personally don't like the taste of eating flesh.

I also understand that if you don't eat flesh because you want an easy way to feel superior, you're a jackass and a poser.
 
2014-07-18 09:52:36 AM  
I could probably do that. I love pizza.
global3.memecdn.com
 
2014-07-18 09:57:42 AM  
Damn.  He's a freaking ninja turtle.
 
2014-07-18 11:32:43 AM  
Why expand your palate when you can impress women with your diet of a 5 year old?
 
2014-07-18 11:34:06 AM  
Fun fact:  I had an omelet pizza last night.  It was "eating on the toilet" worthy.
 
2014-07-18 11:35:29 AM  
Cold pizza is the breakfast of champions, however.
 
2014-07-18 11:35:40 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Why expand your palate when you can impress women with your diet of a 5 year old?


I prefer eating them in the 12 to 15 year range.
/Aisle seat, please.
 
2014-07-18 11:35:48 AM  
Has he been eating Chicago-style, or New York-style?
 
2014-07-18 11:38:10 AM  
www.vgmuseum.com
You want to celebrate with the same food we eat every day? Fark you, April. I'm going to Ruth's Chris.

/Also, how can you choose to unmutate simply because your arch-enemy is dead?
//Double fark that underwater level
 
2014-07-18 11:38:58 AM  
Not a horrible diet. Depending on what you top it with, pizza is a balanced meal.
 
2014-07-18 11:39:11 AM  

rkiller1: The My Little Pony Killer: Why expand your palate when you can impress women with your diet of a 5 year old?

I prefer eating them in the 12 to 15 year range.
/Aisle seat, please.


Did you become a Boy Scout when you ate your first Brownie?
 
2014-07-18 11:39:56 AM  

Saborlas: Every poser vegetarian will tell you that their diet is healthier than yours.

Every poser vegetarian eats a crapton of pizza and other unhealthy meat-free foods. It's quite possible to be vegetarian and gain flab at the same time.

I understand if your religion bans eating flesh. I understand if you personally don't like the taste of eating flesh.

I also understand that if you don't eat flesh because you want an easy way to feel superior, you're a jackass and a poser.


I'm not, and never have been, a vegetarian, so these straw man race wars against vegetarians always confuse and amuse me a little. I've encountered way more omnivores who complain about vegetarians than annoying vegetarians.
 
2014-07-18 11:39:59 AM  
He's got the diabetus
 
2014-07-18 11:40:01 AM  

wxboy: Has he been eating Chicago-style mutant lasagna, or New York-style pizza?


// yup, I'm That Guy
 
2014-07-18 11:40:20 AM  
Can't argue with that!
 
2014-07-18 11:40:22 AM  
Depending on the pizza I don't see a problem with this. Just top it with some veggies and your pretty much done.

But as the guy pretty much only eats cheese pizza I'm calling bullshiat on this.
 
2014-07-18 11:40:49 AM  
I have no issue with an adult having a stupid diet.  But honestly man you can't say your diabetes has nothing to do with your all pizza diet.
 
2014-07-18 11:41:06 AM  

wxboy: Has he been eating Chicago-style, or New York-style?


California style, with fresh fruit, vegetables and no cheese.
 
2014-07-18 11:42:36 AM  
I eat pizza all the time, for more than 25 years and I'm still here.  B.F.D. buddy.

All the shiat going on in this world and this is news?
 
2014-07-18 11:44:11 AM  
www.mikeandjohnsworld.net
That man should expand his horizons a little.
 
2014-07-18 11:45:11 AM  
Oh yeah, PIZZA THREAD!

media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-07-18 11:47:18 AM  
I eat pizza usually about three times a week, and I'm actually in pretty good shape.  Not fat.

It's got all four food groups, pizza is the perfect food.
 
2014-07-18 11:47:22 AM  

MythDragon: [www.vgmuseum.com image 256x224]
You want to celebrate with the same food we eat every day? Fark you, April. I'm going to Ruth's Chris.

/Also, how can you choose to unmutate simply because your arch-enemy is dead?
//Double fark that underwater level


They used Shredder's demutation gun from the boss fight.
 
2014-07-18 11:47:46 AM  
What happend is the hero tag taking a nap?
 
2014-07-18 11:48:24 AM  

Cold_Sassy: I eat pizza all the time, for more than 25 years and I'm still here.  B.F.D. buddy.

All the shiat going on in this world and this is news?


img.fark.net
 
2014-07-18 11:48:34 AM  

ConConHead: Cold pizza is the breakfast of champions, however.


Cold pizza and warm beer is the breakfast of bachelors. Just make sure you shake the open beer cans to listen for the sound of cigarette butts before taking a drink.
 
2014-07-18 11:50:18 AM  

Nonrepeating Rotating Binary: [www.mikeandjohnsworld.net image 600x399]
That man should expand his horizons a little.


THis looks like a taco pizza from Godfather's.
 
2014-07-18 11:50:46 AM  

Fonaibung: I'm not, and never have been, a vegetarian, so these straw man race wars against vegetarians always confuse and amuse me a little. I've encountered way more omnivores who complain about vegetarians than annoying vegetarians.


Loudest voices set the image. You only need a few annoying vegetarians to mess up how the group is viewed.
 
2014-07-18 11:51:33 AM  
It's a fair question....

/my god, I sound fat
 
2014-07-18 11:51:42 AM  
Different people have different body chemistry. This guy could live to be 90 while eating nothing but pizza but it could kill someone else at 40.
 
2014-07-18 11:52:05 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-18 11:52:51 AM  
And he's still alive? Even after consuming all those carbs and all that gluten?

Amazing.
 
2014-07-18 11:59:10 AM  
You can put carrots on a pizza. This is like being surprised that somebody at a sandwich every day of his life. Pizza is just a delivery system for any ingredient you want.
 
2014-07-18 11:59:20 AM  
Ah, one of those "freaky eaters" who can only eat one or two things. Their lives must suck.

Personally I love pizza but would get sick of eating it constantly. I need variety.
 
2014-07-18 11:59:50 AM  
FTA:  "Janssen, who has diabetes, insists his diet doesn't affect his disease and that doctors have given him a clean bill of health."

So, having Diabeetus is healthy now?
 
2014-07-18 12:00:18 PM  
It has long been my contention that pizza is the ultimate food. A Hawaiian pizza, to name just one example, contains ALL of the food groups. Wash it down with a nice sugary beverage and you have almost completely satisfied your nutritional requirements for the day. Just make sure to leave room for CH3CH2OH.

www.health-sourcing.com
 
2014-07-18 12:02:28 PM  

ConConHead: Cold pizza is the breakfast of champions, however.


Had cold pizza for breakfast this morning.

/champion
 
2014-07-18 12:03:00 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: And he's still alive? Even after consuming all those carbs and all that gluten?

Amazing.


This. Glad someone brought this up, couldn't agree more.
 
2014-07-18 12:04:04 PM  
Clicked expecting Ulililllila.
 
2014-07-18 12:04:09 PM  

farkingismybusiness: [i.imgur.com image 500x375]


that's beautiful
 
2014-07-18 12:05:04 PM  

namegoeshere: Not a horrible diet. Depending on what you top it with, pizza is a balanced meal.


That's what I thought. But apparently he only eats plan cheese pizza.
 
2014-07-18 12:07:26 PM  

UberDave: Damn.  He's a freaking ninja turtle.


Nice!
 
2014-07-18 12:08:23 PM  
Suck it "nutritionists"
 
2014-07-18 12:08:33 PM  
I know a beautiful, thin, vegetarian lady who pretty much lives on pizza- then again, she is Siciliano.  Lousy diet for a diabetic, though.
 
2014-07-18 12:10:09 PM  

Quinzy: I have no issue with an adult having a stupid diet.  But honestly man you can't say your diabetes has nothing to do with your all pizza diet.


Sure you can, if it's Type 1.
 
2014-07-18 12:16:02 PM  
I would eat pizza every day if I could; and for most meals. The thing is though, the best thing about pizza is the cheese and I can't eat much of any animal product without my cholesterol skyrocketing. I'm not fat, a little underweight if anything. Anyway, I don't eat much pizza even though I love it.

This guy eats tons of frozen pizzas though. Puke.
 
2014-07-18 12:18:28 PM  

blatz514: Fun fact:  I had an omelet pizza last night.  It was "eating on the toilet" worthy.


I'm not sure how to interpret this.  Sometimes when I eat Mexican, it's eating on the toilet worthy.  Other times when I'm really busy and only have time for a snickers bar at lunch - that's eating on the toilet worthy.  Inquiring mind want to know.
 
2014-07-18 12:18:33 PM  
Smelly Pirate Hooker
And he's still alive? Even after consuming all those carbs and all that gluten?

Amazing.


Carbs can be burned, and there is nothing wrong with gluten. Seriously only 20% of people who claim to be Celiac are. Just like artificial sweeteners, yellow #5, MSG and all that other scary shiat that hasn't killed us yet. Gluten is new biatch to whip fad.
 
2014-07-18 12:18:47 PM  
most pizza i've ever eaten in a certain amount of time was ~100 pizzas in the span of ~140 days (whole pizzas! italian sized pizza is enough for 1 heavy-eater's meal) while tdy to aviano, italy

this was in 1999, i was about 23, and a pizza was around $3-5 with the exchange rate. they were everywhere (hey, it's italy), available with almost any topping* you can think of, and delicious!

*fsb (funny story bro)
went to eat once with a guy i was tdy with...he was an ok dude but somewhat annoying...anyway, i, being the lover of food and language, knew very well which pizzas and toppings i liked by this point (maybe 1/2 way thru our time there), and could read most words on the menu. i ordered my pizza like a pro, he ordered his and i knew exactly what he had ordered. i thought his order was weird, but i figured he just had different tastes than i had, so i said nothing.

a short time later, the waitress brought our pizzas. he looked puzzled, and i immediately dug into my panna e prosciutto pie, which was one of my favorites. i looked over at him, slowly taking a cautious bite of his brussells sprouts-topped pizza, with a grimace of disgust on his face. i said to him "i heard you ordering the brussells sprouts pizza, and i just thought 'hmmm...this guy likes brussells sprouts on his pizza...that's weird'".

i told him "ya know, i KNOW how to order in italian...why didn't you ask me?" he said "well, i figured pizza is pizza, i couldn't go wrong". i begged him to just order another...we weren't in a hurry...it only took like 5 minutes to get the pizza in the first place (super hot wood fired brick ovens are awesome!), and i knew he was hungry, plus this particular place charged about $3.50, so not exactly going broke wasting a pizza.

he was too shy or whatever...stupid, imho...to do that. oh well, i was full, he wasn't
 
2014-07-18 12:22:53 PM  

vodka: I'm not fat, a little underweight if anything


There's a glint of hope here. With a lot less work, and a lot more eating, you can reach the goal of being fatter.

/Being fat is considered a sign of success in some cultures.
//which is what I keep telling myself.
 
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