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(The Journal (Ireland))   In case you're yearning to see what a real letter looks and reads like (remember those days?), here are some amazing ones from back in the day   (thedailyedge.thejournal.ie ) divider line
    More: Interesting, lost to follow-up, Michael Palin  
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2623 clicks; posted to Geek » on 16 Jul 2014 at 8:58 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-16 07:46:08 PM  
July 14, 1861 Camp Clark, WashingtonMy very dear Sarah: The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days-perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more . . . I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engagedand my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution. And I am willing-perfectly willing-to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt . . . Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field.The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them for so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood, around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me-perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness . . .But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again . . .
 
2014-07-16 08:21:19 PM  
"Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 
2014-07-16 09:08:45 PM  

MarcysMan: July 14, 1861 Camp Clark, WashingtonMy very dear Sarah: The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days-perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more . . . I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engagedand my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution. And I am willing-perfectly willing-to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt . . . Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field.The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them for so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood, around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me-perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness . . .But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be nea ...


So what happened?
 
2014-07-16 09:10:19 PM  

MarcysMan: July 14, 1861 Camp Clark, WashingtonMy very dear Sarah: The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days-perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more . . . I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engagedand my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution. And I am willing-perfectly willing-to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt . . . Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field.The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them for so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood, around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me-perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness . . .But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be nea ...


Two weeks later Sullivan was found smeared in tortoise feces and sentenced to 180 days in jail for the kidnapping of Captain Hook.
 
2014-07-16 09:20:26 PM  
What about Warren G Harding's smutty f**k notes?
 
2014-07-16 09:25:57 PM  

Faps_in_the_kitchen: What about Warren G Harding's smutty f**k notes?


What are you going to do with them, Mr. Faps_in_the_kitchen? Whip up a little dessert?
 
2014-07-16 09:28:21 PM  
May I strongly suggest
www.premierauctionsonline.com
 
2014-07-16 09:38:13 PM  
www.snopes.com
message.snopes.com
 
2014-07-16 10:03:41 PM  
Letter from a soldier (1864):

Dearest Mary,

Oh how i long for the day to be in your arms again. My mind drifts from my duties at my post daily; recalling your soft voice, your ravenous gaze, and your kindhearted laughter. Hopefully i will live till the morrow and survive yet another ghastly battle.

Yours forever, Johnathan.


Letter from a soldier (2014)

Boo -

Sup, baby mamma? cant wait to tap dat. better not be playin with Tyrone. Yo, just before i capped this dude in the skull. he was all like "boooosh"  and shiat. it was tight.  My boy put it on youtube

Holla back - Dwight
 
2014-07-16 10:19:01 PM  
Speaking of mail, I just today had lunch with a young game designer I know.  I was trying to remember the name of this old play-by-mail RPG game I played in '83, and he said:

"Play by MAIL?  How would THAT work?"

/Sigh
//feels old
 
2014-07-16 10:25:25 PM  
jaytkay:

I LOVE IT!
 
2014-07-16 10:33:40 PM  

DoctorOfLove: MarcysMan: July 14, 1861 Camp Clark, WashingtonMy very dear Sarah: The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days-perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more . . . I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engagedand my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution. And I am willing-perfectly willing-to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt . . . Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field.The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them for so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood, around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me-perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness . . .But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall al ...


Damn, Doc.
The whole letter didn't get posted.
Let me finish it for you.

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always endeavor not to be near you;
As the rumble of cannon reverberates across this sorry field in Virginia, and tears my bowels asunder, I feel impelled to ask that you disregard the flowery verse which I-under great duress, felt honor bound to inscribe upon these poor last pages-and accept, at last, as the sun beats down upon me whilst waiting the final Bugle Call to Charge into the maelstrom of our so misguided gray clad brothers, my heart's last gasping truth.  Minie Balls from green young lads in Butternut assail me, as I think upon our life together, Sarah.
Believe me when I tell you, Dear, that one sharp bullet to my brain would be a blessed balm for all of the misery that has been mine since you first cursed my life.
One Harvest Night, we, you and I, Sarah, supped too much upon bounteous hard cider, and, no better metaphor can I find as cannon shot pours down around me, "Apple Bobbing" did commence with vigor.
For us both.
That night, Sarah, was the last I smiled at life, or thought that God in Heaven was Beneficent.
O Sarah.

Since then- in the brightest day and in the darkest night-amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours-always, always;
You have been a chancre sore upon my soul.
The sounds of battle grow ever closer, and I must finish this poor pathetic missive whilst time still belongs to me.
Sarah.
You harridan.
You hag.
You thought that I left Smithfield in a fit of patriotic fury?
Because I felt forsworn to fight for All Men's Freedom?
My Dear.
I led the 2nd Rhode Island toward this fetid creek in Manassas in hopes of obtaining MY Emancipation.
You Crone.
You bitter New England Witch.
The haze of battle grows more dense, and the Bugle Call of battle calls me forth to what I can only describe as what I pray will prove to be a passport to the Lily of the Valleys.
Which, dear Sarah, you never were.
I will answer that trumpet which never calls retreat with every ounce of manhood that is in me.
 And if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be a ghostly emission from my nether regions; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing wind.
Sarah, do not mourn me dead; I go to Jubilee.
Without you.
The lads are preparing themselves.
O Sarah.
No matter what agony I yet may face, I go toward it bravely, with lightness of heart.
Smithfield, Rhode Island is but a sorry afterthought to me whilst I lead men unto certain death in Manassas, Virginia.
I go to Glory.
You go to Hell.
Love to the boys.
Sullivan
 
2014-07-16 11:54:40 PM  
 
2014-07-17 12:30:44 AM  
There's a blog, Letters of Note, that's been posting a lot of historically significant and interesting letters for a long time now. I suggest you check it out if you're into this stuff.

/ was going to make a sarcastic fox news report about Gandhi claiming to be Hitler's sincere friend
// decided to be useful instead
 
2014-07-17 01:56:56 AM  
"Damn you all to hell."

This will be how all my email signatures are signed from hence forth!
 
2014-07-17 03:13:11 AM  

Grand_Theft_Audio: "Damn you all to hell."

This will be how all my email signatures are signed from hence forth!


Well, fark you too, my sincere friend!
 
2014-07-17 05:36:58 AM  

Zombie DJ: This video is relevant.

Greg Giraldo talking about Civil War letters and todays soldiers.


came to post this.
 
2014-07-17 07:24:00 AM  
I don't know what you expect to find out there,  Jerry, you know what you want better than me. But there's one thingI do know. I know I can stand here watching you destroy everythingI've ever wanted in my life, wanting to smash your face with my fists,because you won't make even the slightest effort to offer happinessand still know that I love you. You mean so much to me that I'm willing to take all your abuse and insults and insensitivity....'cause that's what you need to do to prove I'm notgoing to leave you. I'm sick and tired of running from places and people and relationships. You want me, that fight for me,.because I'm sure as hell fightingfor you!
 
2014-07-17 07:27:20 AM  

That Guy Jeff: There's a blog, Letters of Note, that's been posting a lot of historically significant and interesting letters for a long time now. I suggest you check it out if you're into this stuff.

/ was going to make a sarcastic fox news report about Gandhi claiming to be Hitler's sincere friend
// decided to be useful instead


Thanks for the link.
 
2014-07-17 08:09:22 AM  
am I going to get nostalgic over IM chatlogs in ten years?
 
2014-07-17 08:13:28 AM  

HighlanderRPI: I don't know what you expect to find out there, Jerry, you know what you want better than me...


Now I'm picturing Warren G Harding talking to his dick.
 
2014-07-17 08:23:34 AM  
Wrightwood. Cal.
21 October, 1949

Dear Mr. Orwell,

It was very kind of you to tell your publishers to send me a copy of your book. It arrived as I was in the midst of a piece of work that required much reading and consulting of references; and since poor sight makes it necessary for me to ration my reading, I had to wait a long time before being able to embark on Nineteen Eighty-Four.

Agreeing with all that the critics have written of it, I need not tell you, yet once more, how fine and how profoundly important the book is. May I speak instead of the thing with which the book deals - the ultimate revolution? The first hints of a philosophy of the ultimate revolution - the revolution which lies beyond politics and economics, and which aims at total subversion of the individual's psychology and physiology - are to be found in the Marquis de Sade, who regarded himself as the continuator, the consummator, of Robespierre and Babeuf. The philosophy of the ruling minority in Nineteen Eighty-Four is a sadism which has been carried to its logical conclusion by going beyond sex and denying it. Whether in actual fact the policy of the boot-on-the-face can go on indefinitely seems doubtful. My own belief is that the ruling oligarchy will find less arduous and wasteful ways of governing and of satisfying its lust for power, and these ways will resemble those which I described in Brave New World. I have had occasion recently to look into the history of animal magnetism and hypnotism, and have been greatly struck by the way in which, for a hundred and fifty years, the world has refused to take serious cognizance of the discoveries of Mesmer, Braid, Esdaile, and the rest.

Partly because of the prevailing materialism and partly because of prevailing respectability, nineteenth-century philosophers and men of science were not willing to investigate the odder facts of psychology for practical men, such as politicians, soldiers and policemen, to apply in the field of government. Thanks to the voluntary ignorance of our fathers, the advent of the ultimate revolution was delayed for five or six generations. Another lucky accident was Freud's inability to hypnotize successfully and his consequent disparagement of hypnotism. This delayed the general application of hypnotism to psychiatry for at least forty years. But now psycho-analysis is being combined with hypnosis; and hypnosis has been made easy and indefinitely extensible through the use of barbiturates, which induce a hypnoid and suggestible state in even the most recalcitrant subjects.

Within the next generation I believe that the world's rulers will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging and kicking them into obedience. In other words, I feel that the nightmare of Nineteen Eighty-Four is destined to modulate into the nightmare of a world having more resemblance to that which I imagined in Brave New World. The change will be brought about as a result of a felt need for increased efficiency. Meanwhile, of course, there may be a large scale biological and atomic war - in which case we shall have nightmares of other and scarcely imaginable kinds.

Thank you once again for the book.

Yours sincerely,

Aldous Huxley
 
2014-07-17 09:10:10 AM  
Oh Vonnegut. You never fail to make me smile.

/took the day off work when he died.
//had a sad.
///a BIG one.
 
2014-07-17 09:22:06 AM  
They appear have used various types of implements to make marks on paper. Is that how it works?
 
2014-07-17 09:23:45 AM  
My Dearest Tammy-Ann,

I fear all is lost and I will never gaze upon your face, nor sup upon your jauntily arranged plates of Little Debbie snack cakes again. When we came to the cesspool that is Washington D.C. to cleanse the atheist sharia-loving muslin from the "White" House and restore America's greatness we sorely underestimated the guile and craftiness of the socialists. Not only is "Capitol Hill" an actual hill, but there are insurmountable staircases -- some three, even five steps in height.

Our Hoverrounds sit motionless, our batteries depleted. Even Merle's prodigious Jazzy Plus was unable to tow our once-mighty steeds to victory, even with Merle's reduced tonnage having lost his nethers to the 'beetus. We all have orders in for new batteries from Medicare, but those batteries would be delivered by the Post Office, Obama's blue-clad Union Thug Army of Sloth.

Please ensure our sons Dale, Earnhardt, Three and Intimidator learn of this day that Freedom died.

I remain, your beloved,

Clovis.


~Mr. Coffee Nerves, Fark thread 7947093
 
2014-07-17 09:24:35 AM  

Devolving_Spud: May I strongly suggest
[www.premierauctionsonline.com image 828x1200]


I own that... It's awesome.

This one from TFA annoyed me...

c2.thejournal.ie

That river down the center gave me a headache. I kept halting, making my eyes jump over, and then start reading again. I have no idea why someone would plan this on purpose, but it would be a hell of a coincidence if it wasn't.
 
2014-07-17 09:24:56 AM  

LemSkroob: Letter from a soldier (1864):

Dearest Mary,

Oh how i long for the day to be in your arms again. My mind drifts from my duties at my post daily; recalling your soft voice, your ravenous gaze, and your kindhearted laughter. Hopefully i will live till the morrow and survive yet another ghastly battle.

Yours forever, Johnathan.


Letter from a soldier (2014)

Boo -

Sup, baby mamma? cant wait to tap dat. better not be playin with Tyrone. Yo, just before i capped this dude in the skull. he was all like "boooosh"  and shiat. it was tight.  My boy put it on youtube

Holla back - Dwight


Now think about literacy rate in 1864 as compared to 2014 and what that might do to the content of a letter.
 
2014-07-17 10:05:28 AM  
I still remember the letter I got from M (T) C in the summer of 1970. It was on several sheets of paper towel that were still together. The individual letters were very fat and difficult to read having been written with an ink pen so I spent a  lot of time over that letter deciphering it. Which (I  hope) was the point.

Beautiful girls sent great letters in those days. Earlier I was mocked -- enviously  -- by several oafs in the dorm for the patchouli scented letters I got from one JP, a lovely freshman at IU who (now that I think about it) was a little cross-eyed like Karen Black in Five Easy Pieces.

Mark Twain wrote great letters and there's no shortage of them.
 
2014-07-17 10:05:34 AM  

Devolving_Spud: May I strongly suggest
[www.premierauctionsonline.com image 828x1200]


Dear Devolving Spud,

May I invite you to fully and completely expound on your recommendation from your previous missive in the form of wonderful prose? Although we understood the gist of your message, it seems somehow out of place. Nay, solidly misplaced in format in this glorious house.

Sincerely,
WelldeadLink
 
2014-07-17 10:07:22 AM  

Mikey1969: Devolving_Spud: May I strongly suggest
[www.premierauctionsonline.com image 828x1200]

I own that... It's awesome.

This one from TFA annoyed me...

[c2.thejournal.ie image 520x445]

That river down the center gave me a headache. I kept halting, making my eyes jump over, and then start reading again. I have no idea why someone would plan this on purpose, but it would be a hell of a coincidence if it wasn't.


An accident due to the monospaced font, probably.
 
2014-07-17 10:22:07 AM  

yakmans_dad: Mikey1969: Devolving_Spud: May I strongly suggest
[www.premierauctionsonline.com image 828x1200]

I own that... It's awesome.

This one from TFA annoyed me...

[c2.thejournal.ie image 520x445]

That river down the center gave me a headache. I kept halting, making my eyes jump over, and then start reading again. I have no idea why someone would plan this on purpose, but it would be a hell of a coincidence if it wasn't.

An accident due to the monospaced font, probably.


Straight down the exact center? Usually rivers in text aren't that straight. Maybe an accident, but it still drives me nucking futs.
 
2014-07-17 04:05:10 PM  

PunGent: Speaking of mail, I just today had lunch with a young game designer I know.  I was trying to remember the name of this old play-by-mail RPG game I played in '83, and he said:

"Play by MAIL?  How would THAT work?"

/Sigh
//feels old


You may still be able to play it: http://www.flyingbuffalo.com/pbm.htm
 
2014-07-17 04:58:56 PM  

Erick Von Tutri IV: PunGent: Speaking of mail, I just today had lunch with a young game designer I know.  I was trying to remember the name of this old play-by-mail RPG game I played in '83, and he said:

"Play by MAIL?  How would THAT work?"

/Sigh
//feels old

You may still be able to play it: http://www.flyingbuffalo.com/pbm.htm


Ya, my buddies and I also played a ton of Feudal Lords (I think) back in the day.  When I googled PBM games, I was amazed at how many are out there...I'd assumed the internet killed most of them.
 
2014-07-17 06:56:28 PM  

Mikey1969: yakmans_dad: Mikey1969: Devolving_Spud: May I strongly suggest
[www.premierauctionsonline.com image 828x1200]

I own that... It's awesome.

This one from TFA annoyed me...

[c2.thejournal.ie image 520x445]

That river down the center gave me a headache. I kept halting, making my eyes jump over, and then start reading again. I have no idea why someone would plan this on purpose, but it would be a hell of a coincidence if it wasn't.

An accident due to the monospaced font, probably.

Straight down the exact center? Usually rivers in text aren't that straight. Maybe an accident, but it still drives me nucking futs.


Some people's artwork is subtle. You ever have your brain running while mowing the lawn?
 
2014-07-17 11:45:32 PM  

WelldeadLink: Dear Devolving Spud,

May I invite you to fully and completely expound on your recommendation from your previous missive in the form of wonderful prose? Although we understood the gist of your message, it seems somehow out of place. Nay, solidly misplaced in format in this glorious house.

Sincerely,
WelldeadLink


Dearest WelldeadLink,

Your letter of 17 July finds me alive and well, and still sorting out this sticky business about the sperm bank robbery.

The suggested tome, "Letters From and To Groucho" is a "must read" of the highest order for all fans of both the letter as art, as well as fans of Groucho Marx and his razor-sharp wit and commentary.  Whether written to fans, politicians or DeSoto executives, Groucho always gets his point across with plenty of belly laughs, and the occasional tear.

Pardon my brevity, as my colostomy bag requires immediate attention!


Ta!
Devolving_"Snugglewoogums"_Spud
 
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