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(National Journal)   So here's the form unaccompanied minors have to fill out if they want asylum in the US, apparently designed by the Vogon Ministry Of Making Things Pointlessly Obtuse Because Fark You   (nationaljournal.com ) divider line
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2614 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 Jul 2014 at 2:22 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-16 01:11:43 PM  
Subby, you're an idiot. That is clearly not a form designed specifically for unaccompanied minors, as they ask about your children and spouse.  That is the general form to request asylum, which is honestly not that challenging.

Now, if your argument is "We should have a simpler form for children" ok. But c'mon. That form is less challenging than the form to get a tourist visa.
 
2014-07-16 01:18:56 PM  
I've filled out job applications longer than that
 
2014-07-16 01:26:10 PM  
That's easier than most DMV forms.
 
2014-07-16 01:33:01 PM  
They have, AFAIK, advocates who assist them with filling out the forms.
 
2014-07-16 01:37:07 PM  
The form can be found in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard'."
 
2014-07-16 02:03:10 PM  
Really? A form asking all of the questions that someone looking for asylums will have to be asked, instead of having to ask that person the same questions a dozen times over at each step of the process is somehow terrible government bureaucracy?
 
2014-07-16 02:24:53 PM  
Worse, the ravenous bugbladder beast of Trall is getting very sickly on it's all government forms diet.
 
2014-07-16 02:26:42 PM  
Damn, I hope subby nor the author of that crap never buys a house or joins the military because they're heads would assplode with confusion.
 
2014-07-16 02:28:08 PM  
FYI for Javascript blockers, you have to go through two rounds of "temporarily allow all scripts" then an ad.
 
2014-07-16 02:30:05 PM  
 
2014-07-16 02:32:03 PM  
I get asked more personal questions than that trying to buy batteries from Radio Shack...

/yes, sadly I've shopped at Radio Shack in the last year =(
 
2014-07-16 02:32:11 PM  

ArkAngel: I've filled out job applications longer than that


incendi: That's easier than most DMV forms.


These.  Those forms weren't honestly that bad.  Sure, they'd take a good hour to fill out properly (two if your English isn't great and you need help).  But honestly, that's a small time price to pay in order to get asylum in the USA.  Heck, buying my last car was about as involved as those forms.
 
2014-07-16 02:36:20 PM  
What subby may look like:

i42.tinypic.com
 
2014-07-16 02:36:38 PM  
Ummm, yeah. I've filled out longer forms at the doctor's office. I agree with most in here. Could it be more simple? Meh. Could the forms be in languages other than english? Sure. And, from the sound of it, all those people that got their degrees in social work have a new employment stream with the immigration department.
 
2014-07-16 02:37:44 PM  
from what I have heard its not filling out the forms that is the problem, its the bureaucracy and how your forms get lost misdirected and need to be filled out 2-3 times because they keep losing them.

/I have a friend with a wife from Canada what they have had to go through to get her a green card is pretty insane. And that system is 100% unsuited to dealing with unaccompanied minors.
 
2014-07-16 02:40:35 PM  
The bleeding hearts seem to think that "due process" means that the government starts handing out food stamps, welfare money, and free tuition to the lil invaders.
 
2014-07-16 02:41:37 PM  
That's more straight forward than most forms you have to fill out when applying for Permanent Residency.

Hell, it's easier to follow than the instructions on which forms you need to fill out when applying for Permanent Residency, which vary wildly depending on your precise circumstances.
 
2014-07-16 02:43:13 PM  

1derful: The bleeding hearts seem to think that "due process" means that the government starts handing out food stamps, welfare money, and free tuition to the lil invaders.


You seem like a bright guy. What's your solution?
 
2014-07-16 02:43:30 PM  

StopLurkListen: FYI for Javascript blockers, you have to go through two rounds of "temporarily allow all scripts" then an ad.


I was curious as to why half the page was blank.
Doesn't look like I missed much though.
 
2014-07-16 02:43:53 PM  
That's a pretty simple form.

Although not printing it in Spanish is kind of a dick move.
 
2014-07-16 02:45:31 PM  

AlgaeRancher: from what I have heard its not filling out the forms that is the problem, its the bureaucracy and how your forms get lost misdirected and need to be filled out 2-3 times because they keep losing them.

/I have a friend with a wife from Canada what they have had to go through to get her a green card is pretty insane. And that system is 100% unsuited to dealing with unaccompanied minors.


My wife and I recently completed the nearly 6 month long process of getting her a K-1 visa so that she could come to the States for our wedding, and we were happy to get through that quickly. We're now 3 months into waiting for her green card. If you want to read some real horror stories, check out the forums on VisaJourney (which is an invaluable asset for anyone else going through the immigration process).

My wife is a Filipina who was working in Kuwait. She was able to process through the US embassy in Kuwait, which made it much easier since there are very few Kuwaiti immigrants. She had a friend who also tried to process through Kuwait, but due to a mix-up with her paperwork her packet was sent to the Philippines instead. She had to quit her job, fly to Manila, and live out of a hotel room for a month and a half waiting for an interview date. This couple, btw, paid thousands of dollars to have their forms filled out by an immigration attorney and they got farked over way more than we did by doing all the forms ourselves.
 
2014-07-16 02:47:26 PM  
Has anybody come around to biatchslap subby yet for being a moran?

I haven't seen this much concurrence in a politics tab article in...

...well ever.

Way to unify the asylum SUBBY!!
 
2014-07-16 02:47:29 PM  
What's wrong?  Is the form in English?
 
2014-07-16 02:47:59 PM  
12 pages? That is nothing! We routinely get 100+ page forms to fill out from the VA to describe systems that have already been installed for years.
 
2014-07-16 02:50:18 PM  

STOP WITH THE SHIATTY WEBSITES THAT HAVE A PICTURE THAT TAKES UP MORE FARKING SPACE THAN THE CONTENT OF THE "ARTICLE" DOES!!!!


Subby, I'm sure a Google search would have produced a site that didn't have an article that was only 4 sentences long.
 
2014-07-16 02:53:07 PM  

Mikey1969: STOP WITH THE SHIATTY WEBSITES THAT HAVE A PICTURE THAT TAKES UP MORE FARKING SPACE THAN THE CONTENT OF THE "ARTICLE" DOES!!!!
Subby, I'm sure a Google search would have produced a site that didn't have an article that was only 4 sentences long.


Like Subby read the linked article....
 
2014-07-16 02:55:23 PM  

incendi: 1derful: The bleeding hearts seem to think that "due process" means that the government starts handing out food stamps, welfare money, and free tuition to the lil invaders.

You seem like a bright guy. What's your solution?


Look, it's really farking easy. You pour cement in the Rio Grande, then you build a wall from Brownsville to San Diego. Every couple hundred miles, you put what we call a Winding Stair up there, and man the gap with what we call the Spawn of Ungoliant. If you still see kids getting past the gap, they're probably not kids at all, but short-statured adults modified with computer imaging.

www.councilofelrond.com
 
2014-07-16 02:57:11 PM  

2chris2: What subby may look like:

[i42.tinypic.com image 250x314]


I'm picturing the kid just about to stick the butter knife in the electrical socket.
 
2014-07-16 02:57:50 PM  
Form fails for not requiring the applicant's Social Security Account Number. Sheesh!
 
2014-07-16 02:57:54 PM  

moothemagiccow: Look, it's really farking easy. You pour cement in the Rio Grande, then you build a wall from Brownsville to San Diego. Every couple hundred miles, you put what we call a Winding Stair up there, and man the gap with what we call the Spawn of Ungoliant. If you still see kids getting past the gap, they're probably not kids at all, but short-statured adults modified with computer imaging.


Hmm, let's see... dumping in a major waterway, handicap accessibility violations, imported labor... yessir, this is a genuine conservative solution.
 
2014-07-16 03:02:11 PM  

Stone Meadow: Form fails for not requiring the applicant's Social Security Account Number. Sheesh!


I wish I could have you forcibly deported from wherever you are to wherever you don't want to be for this post. It's the second goddamn item on the form.
 
2014-07-16 03:03:42 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory: Mikey1969: STOP WITH THE SHIATTY WEBSITES THAT HAVE A PICTURE THAT TAKES UP MORE FARKING SPACE THAN THE CONTENT OF THE "ARTICLE" DOES!!!!
Subby, I'm sure a Google search would have produced a site that didn't have an article that was only 4 sentences long.

Like Subby read the linked article....


Yeah, but it's still some tacky behavior...

mashable.com
 
2014-07-16 03:04:09 PM  
The "tell us about our service" forms at a hotel are more complicated.
 
2014-07-16 03:08:02 PM  
90% of the people in this thread saying they've filled out longer forms are lying.
 
2014-07-16 03:08:44 PM  

evilmrsock: Stone Meadow: Form fails for not requiring the applicant's Social Security Account Number. Sheesh!

I wish I could have you forcibly deported from wherever you are to wherever you don't want to be for this post. It's the second goddamn item on the form.


It's the second question.
 
2014-07-16 03:09:20 PM  

Geoff Peterson: evilmrsock: Stone Meadow: Form fails for not requiring the applicant's Social Security Account Number. Sheesh!

I wish I could have you forcibly deported from wherever you are to wherever you don't want to be for this post. It's the second goddamn item on the form.

It's the second question.


fark. Im leaving. bye.
 
2014-07-16 03:10:26 PM  

AlgaeRancher: /I have a friend with a wife from Canada what they have had to go through to get her a green card is pretty insane. And that system is 100% unsuited to dealing with unaccompanied minors.


Do people applying for green cards really go through the same channels as people applying for refugee status?
 
2014-07-16 03:10:56 PM  

Geoff Peterson: 90% of the people in this thread saying they've filled out longer forms are lying.


Your mom must fill them out for you. Buy a house or car, get a loan, do your taxes, or get a job and the forms are easily longer than that.
 
2014-07-16 03:12:12 PM  

AlgaeRancher: from what I have heard its not filling out the forms that is the problem, its the bureaucracy and how your forms get lost misdirected and need to be filled out 2-3 times because they keep losing them.

/I have a friend with a wife from Canada what they have had to go through to get her a green card is pretty insane. And that system is 100% unsuited to dealing with unaccompanied minors.


I knew a guy who used to work for an immigration lawyer and on several occasions had to go where the forms were processed to deal lost paperwork.  Before going the first time, he said he couldn't believe that it was possible to lose that much paperwork and he had a suspicion that it was intentional.

When he went and found that the processing office was a former prison and one of the bleakest and most depressing places he had ever been, he was shocked that more paperwork wasn't being lost.
 
2014-07-16 03:12:12 PM  
If these freeloaders really want to live here, the least they can do is learn how to fill out forms in a foreign language.
 
2014-07-16 03:12:57 PM  

1derful: The bleeding hearts seem to think that "due process" means that the government starts handing out food stamps, welfare money, and free tuition to the lil invaders.


The drooling retards seem to think that "due process" means deport anyone and everyone, despite what US immigration law has to say.
 
2014-07-16 03:13:35 PM  
Seems they no longer ask about whether you are now or have ever been a member of the Communist Party, and I don't see questions about syphilis and TB anymore either!

Yeehaw!

/making a run for the border
/stopping along the way to cough, scratch my junk, and unite the workers of the world
 
2014-07-16 03:15:53 PM  

Russ1642: Geoff Peterson: 90% of the people in this thread saying they've filled out longer forms are lying.

Your mom must fill them out for you. Buy a house or car, get a loan, do your taxes, or get a job and the forms are easily longer than that.


mortgage, yeah. The rest? no.
 
2014-07-16 03:19:47 PM  

Arkanaut: AlgaeRancher: /I have a friend with a wife from Canada what they have had to go through to get her a green card is pretty insane. And that system is 100% unsuited to dealing with unaccompanied minors.

Do people applying for green cards really go through the same channels as people applying for refugee status?


Asylum, immigration visas, green cards, and citizenship applications all fall under the USCIS. I don't know whether the people working there handle all types of cases or are separated by department, but the organization as a whole is slow, backwards, and convoluted.
 
2014-07-16 03:20:35 PM  

evilmrsock: Stone Meadow: Form fails for not requiring the applicant's Social Security Account Number. Sheesh!

I wish I could have you forcibly deported from wherever you are to wherever you don't want to be for this post. It's the second goddamn item on the form.


What form? The link has a splash photo and a grand total of 3 short paragraphs, plus the notice, "WE'RE SORRY! You need to upgrade you Flash Player."

But now that you mention it, it's some awesome Orwellian irony that we require a SSAN in order to get a SSAN... ;)
 
2014-07-16 03:22:02 PM  

Geoff Peterson: 90% of the people in this thread saying they've filled out longer forms are lying.


I was going to say to importing a live animal into Australia from a Class III country if you want to see how sadistic a series of forms can be but it looks like they're streamlined the process a lot down to only 19 steps and a half dozen forms since the last time I looked into it.
 
2014-07-16 03:29:34 PM  

1derful: invaders


img.fark.net

Not quite Red Dawn level Spetsnaz paratroopers, but I can see why you're so terrified. I mean, hell, that one with the hoodie could probably kick your ass without breaking a sweat
 
2014-07-16 03:33:48 PM  

Geoff Peterson: Russ1642: Geoff Peterson: 90% of the people in this thread saying they've filled out longer forms are lying.

Your mom must fill them out for you. Buy a house or car, get a loan, do your taxes, or get a job and the forms are easily longer than that.

mortgage, yeah. The rest? no.


Have you really never filled out a 1040 (not 1040ez) before?

Oh, and for those of us who needed any form of security clearance, we had the joy of filling out the SF85P
 
2014-07-16 03:35:35 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: Not quite Red Dawn level Spetsnaz paratroopers, but I can see why you're so terrified. I mean, hell, that one with the hoodie could probably kick your ass without breaking a sweat


Especially if he's armed with Skittles.
 
2014-07-16 03:35:42 PM  
I-589 EZ

How did you enter the USA:

Over the wall
Trunk of car
Student VISA
Potential spouse VISA
Phony ID through Canada
Barge from Cuba - go to end of form and sign.
 
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