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(Den Of Geek)   The innocent casualties of Tom Hanks movies   (denofgeek.com) divider line 37
    More: Interesting  
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7650 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 Jul 2014 at 11:40 AM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-16 09:32:24 AM  
I wouldn't call Lt. Dan "collateral damage". He got his magic legs, a decent enough looking Asian wife, and he was rich as a motherfarker.

/also, what about The Bass Player in That Thing You Do? Or the original drummer?
 
2014-07-16 10:04:31 AM  
I've always wondered about the other shrimpers in Forrest Gump. My guess is that Forrest hired them eventually. I hope he paid a living wage.
 
2014-07-16 11:25:09 AM  
Forrest Gump's mama didn't die of old age. She had cancer.
 
2014-07-16 11:43:46 AM  
Don't forget that poor donkey in Bachelor Party.
 
2014-07-16 11:46:31 AM  
According to the Cracked podcast, Tom Hanks audibly pees in a great number of his movies, to the extent they suspect he negotiates to put it into scripts.
 
2014-07-16 11:49:51 AM  
He gets a lifetime pass because of the awesome Dragnet music video
 
2014-07-16 11:50:07 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: I wouldn't call Lt. Dan "collateral damage". He got his magic legs, a decent enough looking Asian wife, and he was rich as a motherfarker.

/also, what about The Bass Player in That Thing You Do? Or the original drummer?



I think we might just have differing standards....
 
2014-07-16 11:50:18 AM  
The casualty from Ladykillers was quite amusing (Not the best of his movies, but quite entertaining all the same):

www.movpins.com
 
2014-07-16 11:52:31 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: Forrest Gump's mama didn't die of old age. She had cancer.


I thought she died of syphilis from screwing half the South so Forest could go to school.
 
2014-07-16 12:03:40 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Don't forget that poor donkey in Bachelor Party.


That is such an incredibly underrated movie.
 
2014-07-16 12:07:05 PM  
The janitor in "The Terminal" wasn't an innocent casualty.  I seem to recall that he murdered a guy in India.
 
2014-07-16 12:09:07 PM  
I wish I got paid to get stoned, record the insane conversions I have with my stoner buddies, and post transcriptions to the web.
 
2014-07-16 12:11:29 PM  
What about Tom Tuttle from Tacoma, Washington?
 
2014-07-16 12:21:42 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: According to the Cracked podcast, Tom Hanks audibly pees in a great number of his movies, to the extent they suspect he negotiates to put it into scripts.


Was that podcast "secretly horrifying?"
 
2014-07-16 12:25:03 PM  

mcmnky: I wish I got paid to get stoned, record the insane conversions I have with my stoner buddies, and post transcriptions to the web.


You need more interesting stoner buddies.
 
2014-07-16 12:43:28 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: According to the Cracked podcast, Tom Hanks audibly pees in a great number of his movies, to the extent they suspect he negotiates to put it into scripts.


He also looks up at the full moon.
 
2014-07-16 12:49:52 PM  
Dammit, I still get teary-eyed when I think of Wilson.  Damn you, Tom Hanks!

/ shakes fist at clouds
 
2014-07-16 12:55:08 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Forrest Gump's mama didn't die of old age. She had cancer.


That's usually how old age kills you, man.  Cancer is basically how your body shuts down when there's nothing actually wrong with it.  Do you think that 'old age' is a specific medical cause of death or something?
 
2014-07-16 12:59:04 PM  

Billy Liar: What about Tom Tuttle from Tacoma, Washington?


God, I love Fark.

You're right, that motherfarker's brain ain't ever getting unscrewed.
 
2014-07-16 01:16:17 PM  

wxboy: The janitor in "The Terminal" wasn't an innocent casualty. I seem to recall that he murdered a guy in India.


It's been a while, but I think he stabbed but didn't kill a cop that was shaking him down.

Regarding Forrest Gump, I don't see how any of Jenny's life is on him and after the hurricane he says he has 12 Jennys, so I'm assuming some of crews are people who lost their boats
 
2014-07-16 01:41:34 PM  
img.fark.net
/poor gorvil...
 
2014-07-16 01:44:06 PM  
JerseyTim: I've always wondered about the other shrimpers in Forrest Gump. My guess is that Forrest hired them eventually. I hope he paid a living wage.

I used to be a shrimper, and what happens when a hurricane comes is that everybody takes their boats about 200 miles to the east (the weak side of the storm). When this movie came out that scene pissed me off to no end. The shrimpers entire lively hood is wrapped up in his boat, do people actually think that they are too stupid to protect it?

In the book Forrest Gump by Winston Groom, Gump actually never had a boat, he learned aquaculture from a Vietnamese guy during the war. He came back to Alabama and closed in a marsh bayou and fed the small fry with waste cottonseed meal from the mills. Not to mention that Bubba was a white guy and his mama had lost her house and was living with the little sisters of the poor.

But the screenwriter was some pc yupster who was anti southern, so he wrote a script full of logic flaws to fit his world view. This sells great in PC America, and the movie was a huge success. Karma caught up with him later on as he lost almost all his money to Bernie Madoff, an appropriate punishment--a phony hack burned by a phony hack.
 
2014-07-16 01:54:29 PM  
www.writeups.org

DAMN YOU TOM HAAAAAAAAAAAANKS
 
2014-07-16 01:54:38 PM  

sniderman: [img.fark.net image 720x480]
/poor gorvil...


I love that movie.  I credit it for getting me interested in playing D & D.  A game that can warp my sense of reality?  Sign me up!
 
2014-07-16 02:06:59 PM  
what happens when a hurricane comes is that everybody takes their boats about 200 miles to the east (the weak side of the storm).

To the west, they take their boats west. FTFM
 
2014-07-16 02:08:14 PM  
What about the Waponi Woo in Joe Versus the Volcano? Sure their livelihood was ensured by sacrificing a guy every so often, but didn't they probably have kids and suchlike? I doubt all of them got off the island at the end.
 
2014-07-16 02:19:59 PM  

ToastmasterGeneral: Billy Liar: What about Tom Tuttle from Tacoma, Washington?

God, I love Fark.

You're right, that motherfarker's brain ain't ever getting unscrewed.


ts1.mm.bing.net

He was one of us.
 
2014-07-16 03:36:25 PM  
Isn't the innocent victim in You've Got Mail Meg Ryan's character - I mean doesn't he spend most of the movie manipulating her emotions via a sockpuppet boyfriend? Having the imaginary guy stand her up so he can just happen to be there while she is disappointed that his invented creation doesn't turn up, etc?
 
2014-07-16 03:47:35 PM  
How about Saving Private Ryan? Talk about collateral damage - the whole squad was killed (except for Vin Diesel, who was just stupid) because of Tom Hanks' noble decisions. Even if everyone goes along with staying at the bridge, Giovanni Ribisi was killed because of Hanks' decision to take out that machine gun by the radar place before they'd even found Matt Damon's punk ass.

Oh, and one more: how about the literal collateral damage caused by Tom Hanks supporting the Afghans in Charlie Wilson's War?
 
2014-07-16 03:48:02 PM  

xria: Isn't the innocent victim in You've Got Mail Meg Ryan's character - I mean doesn't he spend most of the movie manipulating her emotions via a sockpuppet boyfriend? Having the imaginary guy stand her up so he can just happen to be there while she is disappointed that his invented creation doesn't turn up, etc?


I hate myself for knowing so much about this movie, but he stood her up because he knew she hated "Joe Fox" so he had to make her fall in love with "Joe Fox" before he could reveal that her anonymous internet love was "Joe Fox".
 
2014-07-16 03:49:19 PM  

phyrkrakr: How about Saving Private Ryan? Talk about collateral damage - the whole squad was killed (except for Vin Diesel, who was just stupid) because of Tom Hanks' noble decisions. Even if everyone goes along with staying at the bridge, Giovanni Ribisi was killed because of Hanks' decision to take out that machine gun by the radar place before they'd even found Matt Damon's punk ass.

Oh, and one more: how about the literal collateral damage caused by Tom Hanks supporting the Afghans in Charlie Wilson's War?


What I never understood about the attack on the machine gun nest. Why not sneak around behind it and lob some grenades into it? Why the direct frontal assault up a hill at a farking machine gun nest?
 
2014-07-16 03:58:44 PM  

Billy Liar: ToastmasterGeneral: Billy Liar: What about Tom Tuttle from Tacoma, Washington?

God, I love Fark.

You're right, that motherfarker's brain ain't ever getting unscrewed.

[ts1.mm.bing.net image 300x168]

He was one of us.


Do you know where you are?

I'm guessing I'm in the clutches of the angry Pink Menace.

and

It's not that I can't help these people. It's just I don't want to.
 
2014-07-16 04:45:33 PM  
Let's not forget "The'Burbs".

Bitta-bitta sardine?
 
2014-07-16 05:01:50 PM  
I had almost forgotten how Perky Elizabeth Perkins naughty bits were back in the day
 
2014-07-16 05:03:25 PM  
What about every moviegoer who had the misfortune to pay good money to see this?

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-07-16 08:01:50 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Forrest Gump's mama didn't die of old age. She had cancer.


Pussy cancer she got from humping that school principal so he could attend.
 
2014-07-16 08:11:09 PM  
What about all those mobsters and bankers ruined by him just because he couldn't keep his boy from coming along on a mob hit?

And those people Perdue turned away from Dungeons and Dragons in Mazes and Monsters?
 
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