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(Nine MSN)   Fark-ready headline: "I mortgaged my house to lengthen my penis"   (news.ninemsn.com.au) divider line 66
    More: Followup, local church, not proven  
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4244 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2014 at 7:54 AM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-16 02:15:51 AM  
www.dvd.net.au
 
2014-07-16 02:23:38 AM  
static.fjcdn.com

files.shroomery.org
 
2014-07-16 07:44:59 AM  
Now he's looking at another $18,000 for further work, and considering a more serious surgery that will require general anaesthetic and cost even more - around $50,000.

Wait what?  This dude had dick surgery without general anaesthetic?  I think his balls are just making his dick look small by comparison.


"We put too much pressure on men, the same way women put too much emphasis on box gap or boob size or bikini bridges."

Well I know what one of those things are.


"The [female] paediatrician said, 'Alright, let's have a look'. When she saw it she said, 'I've seen smaller'.

Ouch.
 
2014-07-16 07:56:39 AM  
All he needs to do is become rich and buy a hummer.
 
2014-07-16 07:57:15 AM  
Well, to be fair, who hasn't sold all their possessions to lengthen their dinky doodle?
 
2014-07-16 07:59:55 AM  
FTFA "Where I live, it's a bit of a sausage-fest" so does he bring the Vienna sausage?
 
2014-07-16 08:00:47 AM  
i might be a pathetic loser and utter failure who is doomed to never get laid, but at least my wiener is a pretty good size.  i'm happy with it.
 
2014-07-16 08:04:31 AM  
How does that work? "Hey baby, you wanna have sex? I've had my penis lengthened!"

My problem is finding someone to date in the first place, forget even jumping ahead to planning sexy time.
 
2014-07-16 08:05:48 AM  

enderthexenocide: i might be a pathetic loser and utter failure who is doomed to never get laid, but at least my wiener is a pretty good size.  i'm happy with it.


So your boyfriend says...
 
2014-07-16 08:08:04 AM  
penis
 
2014-07-16 08:08:06 AM  
Better than mortgaging your penis to lengthen your house I guess.
 
2014-07-16 08:08:51 AM  
OZ Farkers - "shonk"?
 
2014-07-16 08:09:27 AM  
At least he won't need to buy a tent pole when they repossess his house.
 
2014-07-16 08:13:39 AM  
Money to make your tool grow (SLIDESHOW) (Featured Partner)
 
2014-07-16 08:16:39 AM  
What's his Fark handle?
 
2014-07-16 08:17:44 AM  
I'd bet $20 there's an internet porn fetish that would fund his surgery.
 
2014-07-16 08:19:50 AM  
What the hell is "box gap?"
 
2014-07-16 08:21:29 AM  

USCLaw2010: What the hell is "box gap?"


Seconded. I'm thinking thigh gap but I'm not sure.
 
2014-07-16 08:22:49 AM  

DrunkenYodaZen: All he needs to do is become rich and buy a hummer.


Buildings can be penis substitutes, too

s29.postimg.org

Oh, wait that one's a bit flaccid


Better,
s29.postimg.org

/Dongs. Dongs everywhere.
 
2014-07-16 08:23:13 AM  
maybe I could just sell my car to find an attractive woman who likes MY penis.
 
2014-07-16 08:23:30 AM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: USCLaw2010: What the hell is "box gap?"

Seconded. I'm thinking thigh gap but I'm not sure.


I assumed it's a "hot dog in a hallway" reference.
 
2014-07-16 08:24:00 AM  
FTHL:  "I mortgaged my house to lengthen my penis"


I mortgaged my house so I could live in it.

If I pulled out all the equity, I could buy TF for a year.


/ which is sort of like having a bigger dick
 
2014-07-16 08:25:25 AM  
Been under the knife a couple of times and it's still too short?
 
2014-07-16 08:26:08 AM  
I suppose constantly hearing the phrase "Is it in yet?" might be a bit discouraging for the poor guy.
 
2014-07-16 08:26:48 AM  
The headline seems a good metaphor for the U.S. of A. of the last 20 years or so.
 
2014-07-16 08:28:40 AM  
Did anyone get his phone number?
 
2014-07-16 08:28:48 AM  
Or he could of just use his imagination or a car like the rest of us do.
 
2014-07-16 08:29:16 AM  
www.neowin.net
 
2014-07-16 08:32:18 AM  
Q: What does your mortgage have in common with your penis?

A: Low interest.
 
2014-07-16 08:32:27 AM  
Better than selling your soul. Isn't that right, Crowley?

On a side note, guys, if you are on the small side, learn to the fine art of cunnilingus. Becomes a master at it. Do the same with your hands. As women, we just want to orgasm. We really don't care how make us climax as long as you do it. And, if you just rely only on your penis for sex, it's a pretty good guess you are a lousy lay. Here's a fact, the vast majority of women don't climax by penis penetration alone. If your woman does, you're either very lucky or she's faking. Good chance, she's faking.
 
2014-07-16 08:36:46 AM  

GoodyearPimp: OZ Farkers - "shonk"?


Shyster
 
2014-07-16 08:37:26 AM  
"Hang in there," he said. "If you need to seek therapy or surgery, the options are there."

Well that's just rubbing it in.
 
2014-07-16 08:38:35 AM  
If you have a 2 3/4 inch penis, I think money might actually be your best chance. Silly to part with it so carelessly.
 
2014-07-16 08:41:07 AM  

vudukungfu: Been under the knife a couple of times and it's still too short?


The surgeons thought it was opposite day.
 
2014-07-16 08:44:34 AM  

mekki: Better than selling your soul. Isn't that right, Crowley?


shiat, I was going to make that reference but I thought it was too obscure.
 
2014-07-16 08:47:21 AM  
Article missing photograph of a micropenis
 
2014-07-16 08:52:53 AM  
I shortened my penis so that I could make the mortgage payment on the house.
 
2014-07-16 08:54:37 AM  
Poor little guy.
 
2014-07-16 08:54:44 AM  
"There are a lot of shonks out there, but there are some good surgeons too," he said. "I think I'm going to the right one."

You have to watch out for the shonks and other bad terminology.
 
2014-07-16 08:57:55 AM  
What he says to other men with small penises is amazing, "Hang in there."
 
2014-07-16 08:58:32 AM  

Mugato: mekki: Better than selling your soul. Isn't that right, Crowley?

shiat, I was going to make that reference but I thought it was too obscure.


Nothing is obscure on Fark. NOTHING!
 
2014-07-16 09:02:04 AM  
Should have just spent a fraction of the money getting a petite Asian chick mail order bride, he's from Australia they must be pennies on the dollar there. It doesn't seem worth the risk messing with your penis like that even if it is small at least it works right.
 
2014-07-16 09:03:10 AM  
Living with micro-penis must be tough. Poor guy.
 
2014-07-16 09:06:40 AM  

Headso: Should have just spent a fraction of the money getting a petite Asian chick mail order bride


Just make sure to tell them to cut air holes in the box. I  didn't even get a refund.
 
2014-07-16 09:15:12 AM  

USCLaw2010: What the hell is "box gap?"


castorandpollux21.files.wordpress.com

There you go riiiiiiiiiight there.......↑
 
2014-07-16 09:26:17 AM  
i mortgaged my house to buy a tiny ruler. It sits on the mantle, next to the tiny violin.
 
2014-07-16 09:27:59 AM  
I guess it's better than lengthening your house by mortgaging your penis.
 
2014-07-16 09:45:29 AM  
Trucks are cheaper. Just google "nice truck, sorry about"
 
2014-07-16 09:58:15 AM  
And a man marrying an unpleasant heiress might be said to mortgage his penis to enlarge his home.
 
2014-07-16 10:21:33 AM  
I lengthened my penis to mortgage my house
 
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