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(Fox Sports)   Which league will win home field advantage? Will this be a four hour Derek Jeter Lovefest? Why do I still ask obvious questions when I submit these headlines? It's your official MLB All Star Game Thread (7:30pm est on Fox)   (msn.foxsports.com) divider line 521
    More: Spiffy, MLB All-Star Game, Joe Mauer, Minnesota Twins, live streaming  
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161 clicks; posted to Sports » on 15 Jul 2014 at 8:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-15 06:31:38 PM  
AL Rules! DH Forever!
 
2014-07-15 07:33:33 PM  
Get the f*ck out, Joe Buck!
 
2014-07-15 08:15:01 PM  

WTF Indeed: Get the f*ck out, Joe Buck!


They should have Joe Buck strapped to a seat in the first row of the outfield. Whatever team is the first to hit him in the head with a home run automatically wins the game.

I look forward to this home-field advantage prize getting axed once Selig is out. Such a stupid idea.
 
2014-07-15 08:15:44 PM  
Hey, an actual thread!
 
2014-07-15 08:17:04 PM  
Joe Buck Pissed In My Shoes
a short narrative by NakedReporta

Back when I was 11 and living in St. Louis, my parents decided I was too smart to be wasting my time in public schools and started seeking out private schools. The choice was eventually narrowed to two: John Burroughs and Country Day. I took the admittance test for each, but a kid I really hated from the public school I had attended was also trying to get into Burroughs, so I tanked that test.

Come fall, I was a seventh-grader at St. Louis Country Day School (known as CODASCO for short), whose famous alums include Vincent Price and John Danforth. And so began a year of sheer living hell. Most of the kids at CODASCO came from monied families, while I was this socially inept middle-class kid who wore the same Sears-bought suit every day. I was an immediate target.

One of my classmates was Joe Buck, the son of legendary Cardinals announcer Jack Buck. Joe was kind of a big, fat kid, but he had all the airs of social entitlement. Typical of the kind of stupid crap Buck would pull on me was to ask me if I "knew" my mother or to mock my attire. On more than one occasion, he was one of the ringleaders as five or six kids would decide to simultaneously throttle me.

But the final indignity came on a spring afternoon when we had gym class. We all changed into our standard-issue t-shirts and shorts and trotted out to the baseball field. All, that is, except Joe Buck, who bolted out of the locker room about a minute behind the rest. And when gym period was over, and we returned to the locker room, there were my Docksides-knockoff loafers, filled with the acrid stench of urine. Buck denied it, and the gym teacher didn't really give a shiat.

I had to wear my gym sneakers the rest of the day, then tearfully explain to my parents about what had happened. They decided to press the issue, and it culminated in Joe and his mom and my mother and I all meeting with the headmaster. Joe denied it, I couldn't prove it, and the headmaster made us shake hands. I knew the remaining months were only going to be worse. The group beatings and mockery intensified. I barely passed my way through the seventh grade, and the next year I was back in public school. The torment continued -- hey, I was a real dork -- but at least it was free.

Look, kids can do cruel things. Joe was looking to be one of the guys, and I was an easy mark. He couldn't have any idea that my home life was simultaneously crumbling, and that what could have been a respite (time in school, away from home) was instead just compounding my nightmare. I suppose I should forgive the guy. But I can't.

I've managed to slog through a pretty respectable career as a writer. Joe, with his family ties and -- even I have to admit -- considerable talent, is the voice of FOX Sports. And every time I watch a marquee sporting event on FOX, I can't help but pause and reflect that, all those many years ago, that prick pissed in my shoes.
 
2014-07-15 08:17:32 PM  

NeoCortex42: WTF Indeed: Get the f*ck out, Joe Buck!

They should have Joe Buck strapped to a seat in the first row of the outfield. Whatever team is the first to hit him in the head with a home run automatically wins the game.

I look forward to this home-field advantage prize getting axed once Selig is out. Such a stupid idea.


I actually don't mind it. You know what they did before? It rotated leagues every other year.
 
2014-07-15 08:19:12 PM  

WTF Indeed: Get the f*ck out, Joe Buck!


Word
 
2014-07-15 08:19:40 PM  

Earguy: Joe Buck Pissed In My Shoes
a short narrative by NakedReporta

Back when I was 11 and living in St. Louis, my parents decided I was too smart to be wasting my time in public schools and started seeking out private schools. The choice was eventually narrowed to two: John Burroughs and Country Day. I took the admittance test for each, but a kid I really hated from the public school I had attended was also trying to get into Burroughs, so I tanked that test.

Come fall, I was a seventh-grader at St. Louis Country Day School (known as CODASCO for short), whose famous alums include Vincent Price and John Danforth. And so began a year of sheer living hell. Most of the kids at CODASCO came from monied families, while I was this socially inept middle-class kid who wore the same Sears-bought suit every day. I was an immediate target.

One of my classmates was Joe Buck, the son of legendary Cardinals announcer Jack Buck. Joe was kind of a big, fat kid, but he had all the airs of social entitlement. Typical of the kind of stupid crap Buck would pull on me was to ask me if I "knew" my mother or to mock my attire. On more than one occasion, he was one of the ringleaders as five or six kids would decide to simultaneously throttle me.

But the final indignity came on a spring afternoon when we had gym class. We all changed into our standard-issue t-shirts and shorts and trotted out to the baseball field. All, that is, except Joe Buck, who bolted out of the locker room about a minute behind the rest. And when gym period was over, and we returned to the locker room, there were my Docksides-knockoff loafers, filled with the acrid stench of urine. Buck denied it, and the gym teacher didn't really give a shiat.

I had to wear my gym sneakers the rest of the day, then tearfully explain to my parents about what had happened. They decided to press the issue, and it culminated in Joe and his mom and my mother and I all meeting with the headmaster. Joe denied it, I couldn't prove it, and th ...


Still one of my all-time favorite stories from a Farker
 
2014-07-15 08:20:12 PM  
heh
 
2014-07-15 08:20:23 PM  
Yeah, like Jeter could throw out McCutchen.
 
2014-07-15 08:20:26 PM  
I take this very late thread to mean GTFO baseball fans! FARK is soccer country now
 
2014-07-15 08:21:05 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: NeoCortex42: WTF Indeed: Get the f*ck out, Joe Buck!

They should have Joe Buck strapped to a seat in the first row of the outfield. Whatever team is the first to hit him in the head with a home run automatically wins the game.

I look forward to this home-field advantage prize getting axed once Selig is out. Such a stupid idea.

I actually don't mind it. You know what they did before? It rotated leagues every other year.


I remember that and actually prefer that system to the current one.  I'd much prefer the ASG remain purely an exhibition game.  It shouldn't count for anything other than bragging rights and an enjoyable game.

What I would prefer to see for WS home-field advantage is either the team with the better regular-season record gets it, or the league with the better inter-league record.  If MLB is going to force year-round inter-league play on us, might as well use it here.

Earguy: Joe Buck Pissed In My Shoes
a short narrative by NakedReporta

...

Thank you.  The thread wouldn't be complete until that was posted.
 
2014-07-15 08:21:08 PM  
Good play, good call.
 
2014-07-15 08:21:21 PM  

mikaloyd: I take this very late thread to mean GTFO baseball fans! FARK is soccer country now


Yep! I can't possibly be a fan of both.
 
2014-07-15 08:22:28 PM  
This announcer team may be the worst in history.
 
2014-07-15 08:24:28 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: It rotated leagues every other year.


I doubted you, but looked it up. Never knew that. Wonder why it never went to the team with the best record.
 
2014-07-15 08:24:50 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: This announcer team may be the worst in history.


McCarver was worse. He was like MLB's answer to Madden as a broadcaster.
 
2014-07-15 08:26:23 PM  

NeoCortex42: cameroncrazy1984: This announcer team may be the worst in history.

McCarver was worse. He was like MLB's answer to Madden as a broadcaster.


That's true but not-Harold Reynolds is almost as bad. And then there's Harold Reynolds.
 
2014-07-15 08:26:59 PM  

NeoCortex42: cameroncrazy1984: This announcer team may be the worst in history.

McCarver was worse. He was like MLB's answer to Madden as a broadcaster.


I loved Summerall and Madden.

Deion Sanders was right and McCarver can suck a bag of dicks.
 
2014-07-15 08:27:03 PM  

picodenico: cameroncrazy1984: It rotated leagues every other year.

I doubted you, but looked it up. Never knew that. Wonder why it never went to the team with the best record.


Goddamn doubting Thomas. Never do it again!
 
2014-07-15 08:27:05 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: mikaloyd: I take this very late thread to mean GTFO baseball fans! FARK is soccer country now

Yep! I can't possibly be a fan of both.


Unless you a greenlighting threads no 1 curr what you root for.
 
2014-07-15 08:27:11 PM  

NeoCortex42: cameroncrazy1984: This announcer team may be the worst in history.

McCarver was worse. He was like MLB's answer to Madden as a broadcaster.


Replacing McCarver with HR is replacing a pile of shiat with a slightly smaller pile of shiat. Sure, it's better, but it's still shiat
 
2014-07-15 08:27:19 PM  
Here it is.
 
2014-07-15 08:28:42 PM  

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: NeoCortex42: cameroncrazy1984: This announcer team may be the worst in history.

McCarver was worse. He was like MLB's answer to Madden as a broadcaster.

I loved Summerall and Madden.

Deion Sanders was right and McCarver can suck a bag of dicks.


Madden was enjoyable in his enthusiasm for the game. My comparison with McCarver is their game coverage that seems to assume the viewers have never watched a single game of baseball/football before in their lives.
 
2014-07-15 08:28:51 PM  
Eric Koston! Didn't expect that.
 
2014-07-15 08:28:58 PM  
I like Deadspin's version of the Jeter ad that we will see 3000 times tonight better.
 
2014-07-15 08:29:15 PM  
The DH is an abortion that lived.  So I guess we're stuck with it because we're a compassionate nation.  But it's still an abortion.
 
2014-07-15 08:30:02 PM  
I paid (am paying) for a stadium and all i got was this stupid bullshiat.
 
2014-07-15 08:30:03 PM  
Juck Feter.

/go Dodgers!
 
2014-07-15 08:30:14 PM  

Rex_Banner: NeoCortex42: cameroncrazy1984: This announcer team may be the worst in history.

McCarver was worse. He was like MLB's answer to Madden as a broadcaster.

Replacing McCarver with HR is replacing a pile of shiat with a slightly smaller pile of shiat. Sure, it's better, but it's still shiat


I take it as a more modern version of the pile of shiat.

\and you soooooo knew they were using Sheppard for that.
 
2014-07-15 08:30:22 PM  
Oh goddamn you with having Sheppard announce his at-bat.
 
2014-07-15 08:31:06 PM  

Rex_Banner: NeoCortex42: cameroncrazy1984: This announcer team may be the worst in history.

McCarver was worse. He was like MLB's answer to Madden as a broadcaster.

Replacing McCarver with HR is replacing a pile of shiat with a slightly smaller pile of shiat. Sure, it's better, but it's still shiat


Of course, next to Joe Buck even a pile of shiat has a personality.

How the hell is Buck still announcing games?  Football or baseball?  I get that he got his start due to nepotism, but he sucks and has for a long time.
 
2014-07-15 08:31:18 PM  
Always enjoyed watching Jeter play even though I can't stand the Yankees. But that commercial was pretty corny.
 
2014-07-15 08:31:23 PM  
Hahaha with the lone "overrated" chant right before Jeter hits a double.
 
2014-07-15 08:31:25 PM  

slotz: The DH is an abortion that lived.  So I guess we're stuck with it because we're a compassionate nation.  But it's still an abortion.


tvandfilmreview.com
You know who else survived an abortion?
 
2014-07-15 08:31:27 PM  
Wait, did that graphic just say that Jeter has only played in ONE game, ever, where the Yankees were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs???

Nice hit there.
 
2014-07-15 08:31:44 PM  
Did I just hear one obnoxious guy doing an "overrated" chant?

If so, I'd like to buy that guy a beer. Nothing against Jeter, but come on.
 
2014-07-15 08:31:53 PM  
Ah, come on Wainwright.  Pussy.
 
2014-07-15 08:31:54 PM  
Who's batting, I can't tell.

\but seriously, those 45 seconds or so of silence from Shoepisser was the best part
 
2014-07-15 08:32:04 PM  
LOL dumbass fan chanting "over-rated" just as Jeter hits a double, after making a great stop in the first play on defense.
 
2014-07-15 08:32:11 PM  

Gonz: Did I just hear one obnoxious guy doing an "overrated" chant?

If so, I'd like to buy that guy a beer. Nothing against Jeter, but come on.


yes LOL
 
2014-07-15 08:32:24 PM  

NeoCortex42: cameroncrazy1984: This announcer team may be the worst in history.

McCarver was worse. He was like MLB's answer to Madden as a broadcaster.


If McCarver isn't in the booth, no team can be worst ever.
 
2014-07-15 08:32:29 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Hahaha with the lone "overrated" chant right before Jeter hits a double.


Yeah, that's the way you tell a douchebag to STFU
 
2014-07-15 08:32:40 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Hahaha with the lone "overrated" chant right before Jeter hits a double.


You think that guy ran for more beer right after that?
 
2014-07-15 08:32:45 PM  
So favorite ASG hat? My vote is Seattle.
 
2014-07-15 08:33:58 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Hahaha with the lone "overrated" chant right before Jeter hits a double.


I was at the last game he played in Milwaukee a few months ago, and some doofus next to me kept chanting 'Derek Cheater' the entire time he came up to bat. I'm not a huge Jeter fan, and certainly not for the Yankees, but I was ready to kick that dudes knees in.
 
2014-07-15 08:33:58 PM  
How many guys are going to be talking in bars this weekend saying they were the "overrated" guy?
 
2014-07-15 08:34:38 PM  
Love the dead-on centerfield camera angle. Great breaking ball there by Wainwright. Wish it was in all ballparks.
 
2014-07-15 08:34:44 PM  
Trout!!
 
2014-07-15 08:34:44 PM  

ChrisDe: Always enjoyed watching Jeter play even though I can't stand the Yankees. But that commercial was pretty corny.


100%
 
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