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(Slate)   Woman upset that a man at a family-friendly pool wears a speedo around as if it weren't a big deal   (slate.com) divider line 149
    More: Scary, Prudi, Emily Yoffe  
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10725 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jul 2014 at 9:33 AM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-15 11:38:30 AM  
Graffito:

Won't anyone think of the poor, poor persecuted men?

I don't know how they've gotten a reputation as pervs.  Men never, ever do anything the least bit misogynistic so I don't know how that idea got started.



THAT'S SEXIST.gif
 
2014-07-15 11:41:05 AM  

SewerSquirrels: jshine: Uncontrollable physiological responses are shameful!  ...though, I bet this woman is a complete hypocrite -- she probably even gets goosebumps & shivers when she gets cold, the perv.

Since when are boners uncontrollable? Every reasonably well adjusted male I know mastered that some time during puberty. If it is now socially acceptable to walk around with wood, I certain did not get that memo.

Not that I much care what other people do, mind you. I'm just pointing out that your premise is wrong.


Erectile tissue is controlled by the autonomic nervous system... which, at its base fundamental meaning, means it is uncontrollable.  Science biatch!
 
2014-07-15 11:41:07 AM  

jshine: SewerSquirrels: jshine: Uncontrollable physiological responses are shameful!  ...though, I bet this woman is a complete hypocrite -- she probably even gets goosebumps & shivers when she gets cold, the perv.

Since when are boners uncontrollable? Every reasonably well adjusted male I know mastered that some time during puberty. If it is now socially acceptable to walk around with wood, I certain did not get that memo.

Not that I much care what other people do, mind you. I'm just pointing out that your premise is wrong.


If you have achieved conscious control over your erections and are able to manifest or banish them at will, then you have a truly impressive skill.  ...though you could be in considerable peril if the makers of Viagra ever learn of your unique ability.

/ yes, sometimes you can influence it mentally
// sometimes


You are either not male or have some physiological/psychological issue if you don't have this "impressive skill". I have spent nearly 50 years proving that I am in no way supernatural or even special, but I can influence it always. Not "sometimes". Arousal is a mental state; if you're getting wood without being turned on, something isn't working right somewhere: See your doctor. If you are unable to control being turned on, see the other kind of doctor.
 
2014-07-15 11:47:38 AM  
Article says thong, subby and Farkers refer to a speedo.  Is there something I'm missing or is there a massive failure in reading comprehension?
 
2014-07-15 11:49:28 AM  

SewerSquirrels: jshine: Uncontrollable physiological responses are shameful!  ...though, I bet this woman is a complete hypocrite -- she probably even gets goosebumps & shivers when she gets cold, the perv.

Since when are boners uncontrollable? Every reasonably well adjusted male I know mastered that some time during puberty. If it is now socially acceptable to walk around with wood, I certain did not get that memo.

Not that I much care what other people do, mind you. I'm just pointing out that your premise is wrong.


Maybe he saw Alice. Cialis?
 
2014-07-15 11:51:01 AM  

SewerSquirrels: Arousal is a mental state; if you're getting wood without being turned on, something isn't working right somewhere: See your doctor. If you are unable to control being turned on, see the other kind of doctor.


I'm getting a massive chub at the lack of knowledge you have at the basic biological sciences. Does that count for anything?
 
2014-07-15 11:53:10 AM  

Watubi: Article says thong, subby and Farkers refer to a speedo.  Is there something I'm missing or is there a massive failure in reading comprehension?


Doesn't matter either way now does it? In either situation, this lady's issue is with male bodies, not whether or not his butt is covered.
 
2014-07-15 11:56:11 AM  
I don't know what he's packing but if I get a boner in a speedo I'd no longer be "wearing" a speedo.
 
2014-07-15 12:04:14 PM  

SewerSquirrels: jshine: SewerSquirrels: jshine: Uncontrollable physiological responses are shameful!  ...though, I bet this woman is a complete hypocrite -- she probably even gets goosebumps & shivers when she gets cold, the perv.

Since when are boners uncontrollable? Every reasonably well adjusted male I know mastered that some time during puberty. If it is now socially acceptable to walk around with wood, I certain did not get that memo.

Not that I much care what other people do, mind you. I'm just pointing out that your premise is wrong.


If you have achieved conscious control over your erections and are able to manifest or banish them at will, then you have a truly impressive skill.  ...though you could be in considerable peril if the makers of Viagra ever learn of your unique ability.

/ yes, sometimes you can influence it mentally
// sometimes

You are either not male or have some physiological/psychological issue if you don't have this "impressive skill". I have spent nearly 50 years proving that I am in no way supernatural or even special, but I can influence it always. Not "sometimes". Arousal is a mental state; if you're getting wood without being turned on, something isn't working right somewhere: See your doctor. If you are unable to control being turned on, see the other kind of doctor.


Never woken up with wood?

/unlikely
 
2014-07-15 12:06:42 PM  

RoxtarRyan: SewerSquirrels: Arousal is a mental state; if you're getting wood without being turned on, something isn't working right somewhere: See your doctor. If you are unable to control being turned on, see the other kind of doctor.

I'm getting a massive chub at the lack of knowledge you have at the basic biological sciences. Does that count for anything?


No, actually weird boners are pretty much a dime a dozen on Fark.

I admit that I've never had a class in biology and that my personal experience is anecdotal, but I am also certain that I am nothing if not typical. If I can do it, nearly every other guy can do it (autonomic nervous system or not). Blinking is also autonomic, I guess staring contests are unpossible.
 
2014-07-15 12:10:05 PM  

SewerSquirrels: jshine: SewerSquirrels: jshine: Uncontrollable physiological responses are shameful!  ...though, I bet this woman is a complete hypocrite -- she probably even gets goosebumps & shivers when she gets cold, the perv.

Since when are boners uncontrollable? Every reasonably well adjusted male I know mastered that some time during puberty. If it is now socially acceptable to walk around with wood, I certain did not get that memo.

Not that I much care what other people do, mind you. I'm just pointing out that your premise is wrong.


If you have achieved conscious control over your erections and are able to manifest or banish them at will, then you have a truly impressive skill.  ...though you could be in considerable peril if the makers of Viagra ever learn of your unique ability.

/ yes, sometimes you can influence it mentally
// sometimes

You are either not male or have some physiological/psychological issue if you don't have this "impressive skill". I have spent nearly 50 years proving that I am in no way supernatural or even special, but I can influence it always. Not "sometimes". Arousal is a mental state; if you're getting wood without being turned on, something isn't working right somewhere: See your doctor. If you are unable to control being turned on, see the other kind of doctor.


Always?

So no morning wood.  No wood from exercise or other times of increased heart rate and blood flow.  And once hard, you can consciously deflate in a second if you decide, without anything other than willing it so.

I call bullshiat.  Either that or you never get hard and have convinced yourself it's you mental state and not a medical condition.  Or maybe you don't have a penis.
 
2014-07-15 12:11:00 PM  

Deja_VooDoo: Never woken up with wood?

/unlikely


You mean when my package is at the whimsy of my unconscious mind? Yeah. What's your point?
 
2014-07-15 12:12:44 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Many states have laws against visible erections.


How do guys go to middle school?
 
2014-07-15 12:16:54 PM  
I bet the guy is wearing an old, worn-out speedo. When a suit has been washed too many times, the elastic starts to fail and the front gets bagged out. This can end up looking highly unfortunate.

Dude should suck it up and buy a modern competition suit, if he really isn't a creeper. There's really no excuse for wearing a speedo anymore now that they're not the favored type of competition or training suit, and having a new one that isn't baggy would probably fix the banana issue. He could also try the old competitive swimmer trick of stacking a new suit and an older one, which further reduces bulges.
 
2014-07-15 12:19:30 PM  

SewerSquirrels: RoxtarRyan: SewerSquirrels: Arousal is a mental state; if you're getting wood without being turned on, something isn't working right somewhere: See your doctor. If you are unable to control being turned on, see the other kind of doctor.

I'm getting a massive chub at the lack of knowledge you have at the basic biological sciences. Does that count for anything?

No, actually weird boners are pretty much a dime a dozen on Fark.

I admit that I've never had a class in biology and that my personal experience is anecdotal, but I am also certain that I am nothing if not typical. If I can do it, nearly every other guy can do it (autonomic nervous system or not). Blinking is also autonomic, I guess staring contests are unpossible.


You should take a course in biology and probably see a doctor as well.  Blinking is muscle.  Erections are blood flow.

Although your example is horrendous for other reasons.  You can control blinking, such as for a staring contest, but it is mostly automatic.  Likewise, most men can control when they have an erection, but there are also times when an erection comes unbidden.  Also, why a staring contest? If blinking is totally controlled, why would not blinking for a short period of time be considered a contest?

Perhaps blinking, like erections and breathing and many other functions, can be controlled consciously but at other times happens automatically.

But seriously, if you've never had a spontaneous erection, you may have a condition called--now, I'm not a doctor, so you may want to make an appointment for an official diagnosis--but you may have something called not-having-a-penis.
 
2014-07-15 12:20:30 PM  

NoGods: BitwiseShift: Men's thongs don't have pockets. I usually carry a banana when I swim for a quick blood sugar helper. That lady neglects to say what she's wearing. Not that Wicked Weasel needs to be mentioned.

I am unaware of this euphemism.


Wicked Weasel is a brand of Australian swimsuits and lingerie. They're very revealing.
 
2014-07-15 12:22:25 PM  

untaken_name: Graffito: untaken_name: I'm sure bikinis are still fine. Because women can do whatever they want, but when men do exactly the same thing, it's creepy. That's equality. Soon there will be a rule governing what kind of bathing suits men are allowed to wear at that pool. Women, of course, will get a free pass. As usual. If you're not the bathing suit police, stop farking acting like them.

Won't anyone think of the poor, poor persecuted men?

I don't know how they've gotten a reputation as pervs.  Men never, ever do anything the least bit misogynistic so I don't know how that idea got started.

What does any of your incoherent screed have to do with equality in clothing restrictions? Are you asserting that only men are ever pervs? Or is there some point that actually has merit that you are attempting and failing to make?


I never asserted that only men are pervs.  I did imply that the vast majority are men.  Crime statistics back me up.  Stereotypes suck, don't they?

A#1)  Women face far more dress codes / clothing restrictions than men.  Turn about once in while is fun.  If the old guy can't control his erections then he should wear something less revealing.  The fact that he doesn't suggests that he gets off on exposing himself around children.

B#2)  A screed is a long rambling piece.  My comment was three sentences.  I don't know how it qualifies as a screed.
/English - how does it work?
 
2014-07-15 12:22:51 PM  

SewerSquirrels: Deja_VooDoo: Never woken up with wood?

/unlikely

You mean when my package is at the whimsy of my unconscious mind? Yeah. What's your point?


What's this? Aren't you always in control?

But seriously, take a biology course.
 
2014-07-15 12:25:10 PM  
A dude in a Speedo walking around with an erection certainly seems obscene, but where do you draw the line? How about a guy in regular-fitting swim trunks with an erection? That happens to me quite often while swimming. I simply just stay under water until it goes away, but that can take awhile. Was just recently swimming in the lake with Mrs Hillbilly, and it led us to wonder about the legality of just having a boner. Like I'm supposed to float there for 15 minutes instead of taking a quick dash to the car? What if it starts raining or something? What if it lasts 4 hours and I need medical attention!?!?! Shiat aint fair, man.

Also being able to control it completely is BS, but I think most do have some element of mental control.
 
2014-07-15 12:30:39 PM  

Meecht: Gotcha. I've never heard of a place actively banning speedos, so stating "speedos are optional" seemed redundant because they are optio


In some swimming pools in France the speedo type bathing suits are the only ones allowed. I wouldn't go to the local pool down the road, as there was no way I was sticking my fat ass into a pair of speedos.
 
2014-07-15 12:37:58 PM  

mcmnky: Always?

So no morning wood. No wood from exercise or other times of increased heart rate and blood flow. And once hard, you can consciously deflate in a second if you decide, without anything other than willing it so.

I call bullshiat. Either that or you never get hard and have convinced yourself it's you mental state and not a medical condition. Or maybe you don't have a penis.


Yes I get morning wood when I'm dreaming about getting layed. So what? And no I don't get wood from exercising (nor does anyone else at the gym I go to as far as I know). And yes I can typically deflate in the time it takes to get from bed to bathroom (maybe 30 seconds).

I can assure you I do have a penis and it does, in fact, get hard (even at my age). The only aberrant thing about my wick is that it still functions when I'm passed out drunk; a function I discovered upon waking while being ridden by a woman large enough to have back boobs (so clearly I am not bragging...I wish it were not the case). Whiskey dick is a feature, not a curse. The state of bonefication still doesn't count when unconscious.
 
2014-07-15 12:40:17 PM  

SewerSquirrels: Whiskey dick is a feature, not a curse.


Ha. A self-defense mechanism.
 
2014-07-15 12:49:53 PM  

SewerSquirrels: mcmnky: Always?

So no morning wood. No wood from exercise or other times of increased heart rate and blood flow. And once hard, you can consciously deflate in a second if you decide, without anything other than willing it so.

I call bullshiat. Either that or you never get hard and have convinced yourself it's you mental state and not a medical condition. Or maybe you don't have a penis.

Yes I get morning wood when I'm dreaming about getting layed. So what? And no I don't get wood from exercising (nor does anyone else at the gym I go to as far as I know). And yes I can typically deflate in the time it takes to get from bed to bathroom (maybe 30 seconds).

I can assure you I do have a penis and it does, in fact, get hard (even at my age). The only aberrant thing about my wick is that it still functions when I'm passed out drunk; a function I discovered upon waking while being ridden by a woman large enough to have back boobs (so clearly I am not bragging...I wish it were not the case). Whiskey dick is a feature, not a curse. The state of bonefication still doesn't count when unconscious.


Look up nocturnal penile tumescence.

If you're an otherwise healthy male who can get an erection when in the mood, and you're not getting involuntary erections, I'm sure there are many doctors who would love to document your case.

I don't want to come off as overly hostile to you or your position, SS, and I'm sure this isn't your intent, but it sounds too close to other ignorance used to persecute victims of sexual violence.  If woman's nipples get erect or vagina lubricates, then it couldn't be rape, right?  Those things are voluntary.  It a man has an erection in public, he must be a pervert.  Or even, if he got an erection, it couldn't be rape.
 
2014-07-15 01:01:33 PM  
Just because the man likes speedos is no reason to label him a speedophile.
 
2014-07-15 01:33:25 PM  
Should I point out his erection to him?

Oh yes, yes you should.  Comment on it, even.  Make a polite remark about the girth or length, as though receiving a Japanese salaryman's business card for the first time.
 
2014-07-15 01:35:07 PM  
How did it take this long?


img.fark.net
 
2014-07-15 01:37:53 PM  

mcmnky: Or even, if he got an erection, it couldn't be rape.


By definition I'm pretty sure it was rape, it's just that I don't actually care that much. If there had been a paternity suit, I'm sure I would have cared much more. As it was, I just feigned death until she went away.

I don't mean to be dismissive of rape victims; I have friends who were molested as children, so I know the effect that has.

mcmnky: Look up nocturnal penile tumescence.


I get them, but they are always linked to sexual dreams as far as I can tell. I've heard that men think about sex frequently, so no surprise there really. I think we can admit that control requires consciousness, though, right?

mcmnky: If you're an otherwise healthy male who can get an erection when in the mood, and you're not getting involuntary erections, I'm sure there are many doctors who would love to document your case.


Depends: If we define involuntary as being that which wasn't inspired by a sexual thought, then maybe I'll add a paragraph in the Kinsey Report. I have on rare occasion been stuck in the up position. I believe the technical term is "piss rod", but that is easily fixed.
 
2014-07-15 02:34:33 PM  

Beta Tested: Around here people (of both genders) swim naked at the beach.  No one cares.

/Europe


You're right, we don't care, so why did you post it?

/US
 
2014-07-15 02:37:50 PM  

Deja_VooDoo: SewerSquirrels: jshine: SewerSquirrels: jshine: Uncontrollable physiological responses are shameful!  ...though, I bet this woman is a complete hypocrite -- she probably even gets goosebumps & shivers when she gets cold, the perv.

Since when are boners uncontrollable? Every reasonably well adjusted male I know mastered that some time during puberty. If it is now socially acceptable to walk around with wood, I certain did not get that memo.

Not that I much care what other people do, mind you. I'm just pointing out that your premise is wrong.


If you have achieved conscious control over your erections and are able to manifest or banish them at will, then you have a truly impressive skill.  ...though you could be in considerable peril if the makers of Viagra ever learn of your unique ability.

/ yes, sometimes you can influence it mentally
// sometimes

You are either not male or have some physiological/psychological issue if you don't have this "impressive skill". I have spent nearly 50 years proving that I am in no way supernatural or even special, but I can influence it always. Not "sometimes". Arousal is a mental state; if you're getting wood without being turned on, something isn't working right somewhere: See your doctor. If you are unable to control being turned on, see the other kind of doctor.

Never woken up with wood?

/unlikely


he jedi minds that shiat flaccid during the last 10 seconds of his lucid dreaming.
 
2014-07-15 02:40:28 PM  
Obvious: The only people who wear a speedo, are people who should never wear a speedo.
 
2014-07-15 02:45:54 PM  
OMG an erect penis! On a guy who is minding his own business! What a farking typical mommy blogger shiatbag.
 
2014-07-15 02:46:40 PM  
I'll just leave this here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq2KXudEjkI
 
2014-07-15 03:11:07 PM  

rvesco: Oh, great.  We're defending men in speedos now?  Who will we defend next?  Gum chewers who pop their gum?  Loud cell phone talkers?  People who cough into their sleeves because Obama said so?  For the sweet love of God, people: Think of the children!


I'd forgive them all. Well, everyone except the damned gum poppers.
 
2014-07-15 03:28:45 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: Was just recently swimming in the lake with Mrs Hillbilly, and it led us to wonder about the legality of just having a boner. Like I'm supposed to float there for 15 minutes instead of taking a quick dash to the car? What if it starts raining or something? What if it lasts 4 hours and I need medical attention!?!?! Shiat aint fair, man.


i171.photobucket.com

Tuck it back. Use gaffers tape, if you have to.

www.musson.com
 
2014-07-15 03:36:58 PM  

powhound: The guy is a creepy douche, if nothing else. One reason why I don't frequent pubic pools.


The reason I don't frequent them is that the pool is mostly kid's urine.
 
2014-07-15 03:41:56 PM  

SlothB77: wearing a speedo is fine.

Wearing a thong style bathing suit with a huge erection is another.


The bigger question though:  what's appropriate attire?  It's skintight speedos that show off your bulging hard-on or loose trunks that show exactly how big a tent you can pitch, and possibly give small children the occasional glance up a leg to check out your huge nuts.

It's hard to hide a dick without 2 or 3 layers of clothing.  It's hard to hide tits without 14 layers of clothing.
 
2014-07-15 03:44:50 PM  

Tonto's Expanding Headband: powhound: The guy is a creepy douche, if nothing else. One reason why I don't frequent pubic pools.

The reason I don't frequent them is that the pool is mostly kid's urine.


What kind of urine do you prefer to swim in?
 
2014-07-15 03:48:59 PM  

SewerSquirrels: You are either not male or have some physiological/psychological issue if you don't have this "impressive skill". I have spent nearly 50 years proving that I am in no way supernatural or even special, but I can influence it always. Not "sometimes". Arousal is a mental state; if you're getting wood without being turned on, something isn't working right somewhere: See your doctor. If you are unable to control being turned on, see the other kind of doctor.


It's difficult to get a hard-on on purpose.  It's difficult to get rid of one on purposes.

Seriously.  If a girl smiles the right way, you get a boner.  If you look at a girl without a mind clouded with shiat, you get a boner.  I work well in professional environments because I don't see professional associates as human beings, so I don't find women in a professional environment attractive:  they are equivalent to a table or a hammer, and you cannot look at one and find desire.

The moment that veil's broken, it's gone forever.  If a coworker becomes flirty, she is... no longer viewed as a coworker.  It's bonerville whenever she's talking and smiling.  The hard-ons are just coming along.  It's not exactly comfortable.
 
2014-07-15 03:53:59 PM  

mcmnky: Exercise, such as swimming laps, which gets the blood pumping is one of things that might lead to an erection.


While it does get the blood pumping, I have swam very many (so, so many) interval laps in a pool and never  come even remotely close to erection due to it.
 
2014-07-15 04:13:55 PM  
To be fair to the original writer of the letter, we don't know if it's just there's a visible outline on the bathing suit of the penis underneath, or he he's walking around like he just won the world cup. (picture not safe for the blue haired old ladies at the public pool)

It's the former I'd defend.  Yeah, the later is an issue.
 
2014-07-15 04:18:26 PM  
bluefoxicy:  I work well in professional environments because I don't see professional associates as human beings, so I don't find women in a professional environment attractive: they are equivalent to a table or a hammer, and you cannot look at one and find desire.

I don't look at anyone as a human being, and that can be a very handy ability in business.  You're exactly right: coworkers are tools -- means to an end -- and nothing more.
 
2014-07-15 05:40:15 PM  

Tonto's Expanding Headband: powhound: The guy is a creepy douche, if nothing else. One reason why I don't frequent pubic pools.

The reason I don't frequent them is that the pool is mostly kid's urine.


img.fark.net

biggator5.net
 
2014-07-15 06:04:18 PM  

Graffito: Crime statistics back me up.


Only if you assume that both the definitions of the crimes and the reports thereof are not themselves gender-biased.

Until very recently "forced penetration" wasn't even an option in male sexual assault statistics -- but it would be ridiculous to claim that no man was assaulted in such a way before the statistics were revised. The claim you're making might be true, but the evidence you provide doesn't support it.
 
2014-07-15 06:05:44 PM  

monoski: Smeggy Smurf: Many states have laws against visible erections.

How do guys go to middle school?


It was hard

Junior high in '89 banned guys from wearing spandex shorts because as students we were dicks and our dicks were always hard.  What can I say, big hair and skin tight stonewashed jeans were hot back then
 
2014-07-15 06:11:48 PM  

Graffito: The fact that he doesn't suggests that he gets off on exposing himself around children.


Is what a pedo would assume.

Seriously, how do you know this isn't just some old dude who is completely oblivious to the situation? What's your evidence that there's even malice, let alone atypical sexual malice? If you're going to accuse someone of an act with such serious social implications you need better evidence than assumptions you make after reading a Dear Abby letter.
 
2014-07-15 07:57:15 PM  

yakmans_dad: Guys in Speedos are clowns.


What about clowns in Speedos?
 
2014-07-15 10:05:10 PM  
Sorry, but a guy walking around in public with a stiffy is not normal. That's just nasty and falls under the category of 'lewd and lascivious'. A grown man should be able to handle his shiat. Especially if he chooses to wear something so revealing.
 
2014-07-15 10:54:12 PM  
there was a dude wearing a speedo to swim his laps at my gym the other day. I only knew because he paused to tell me so. /csb
 
2014-07-16 03:27:37 PM  
I swam competitively through HS. It was rare to see a guy with a hard on after a work out. Sure, it gets your blood pumping....TO THE MUSCLES THAT NEED IT. (like arms, stomach, legs)

While some people may be able to exert some control over some of their autonomic system, it is largely autonomous. Think of the heart rate, digestion rate, etc. These are all controlled by the same autonomic system.

If you have a natural ability to just "stop your own heart" or even slow is drastically on demand, you are a rare bird. Same goes for boners.

With that said, I think the story seems fabricated (big surprise). It's unlikely a guy is gonna swim laps and emerge with a boner. Do you see many guys sporting a boner when they run 5 miles?
 
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