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(Daily Mail)   Study shows 30% of men have faked an orgasm. Why partners didn't notice the sound of someone spitting on their backs is a mystery   ( dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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3887 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jul 2014 at 3:31 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-15 10:09:58 AM  
Not surprising.  Sex is pretty stressful, and that's just without the stupid social attitudes surrounding it.
 
2014-07-15 10:12:09 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-15 10:12:10 AM  
so he goes limp and pretends he couldnt hold it ?
that's faking it ?
LOL
 
2014-07-15 11:05:54 AM  
I've had to do it a couple of times.  When the sun is coming up and you have to be at work in a few hours... you do what you gotta do.
 
2014-07-15 11:31:38 AM  
Ex girlfriend wanted to have my baby. I didn't want her to have my baby.

By rhythmically squeezing my prostate, I can expand the head as though I were ejaculating without doing so.

She noticed and I claimed some male fertility problems.

/That's all I'm saying on this subject.
 
2014-07-15 11:56:18 AM  
Because People in power are Stupid: /That's all I'm saying on this subject

That was more than enough. Way more.
 
2014-07-15 11:57:54 AM  
Only when alone.
 
2014-07-15 12:50:21 PM  
You know you're in trouble when your own dick starts faking it on ya, Weasel.
 
2014-07-15 01:27:53 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: By rhythmically squeezing my prostate, I can expand the head as though I were ejaculating without doing so.


If she was the one doing that, you wouldn't have to fake it.
 
2014-07-15 02:55:20 PM  
My wife now thinks my sex noises culminate with "HHHHOOOOOCCCCCK......PTOOOOO".  She thinks it's strange, but she's impressed with the distance I can get.  I can usually make it at least to the nape of her neck.

/what?
 
2014-07-15 03:03:10 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Ex girlfriend wanted to have my baby. I didn't want her to have my baby.


But you kept farking her anyway.

Oh, lordy.
 
2014-07-15 03:15:37 PM  
absolutely. and like the article says, the key is wearing a condom.

nothing wrong with a little pump, pump, pump, then blow a ghost-load.

usually it's due to being extremely tired and having to get up early the next morning, however I'll admit that once it was because I had another girl coming over shortly and had to get rid of the current girl asap.
 
2014-07-15 03:32:33 PM  
Room temperature yogurt, subby. Jeez. m.
 
2014-07-15 03:33:21 PM  
This is known as pulling a "Frank Drebbin".
 
2014-07-15 03:33:34 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Because People in power are Stupid: Ex girlfriend wanted to have my baby. I didn't want her to have my baby.

But you kept farking her anyway.


He must be in power.
 
2014-07-15 03:34:30 PM  
Yep.  Did it with my first wife.  It's really hard to get to the end stages while donking a beached whale that smells vaguely like parmesan cheese and sweat.  In my defense, she didn't start that way.  Some times, marriage does really weird things to people, like reveal the fact that she was a were-beluga.
 
2014-07-15 03:34:39 PM  

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: I've had to do it a couple of times.  When the sun is coming up and you have to be at work in a few hours... you do what you gotta do.


Lol, couldn't you just explain to her that it's not happening and it's time to sleep?  I'm not a good enough actor to pull off a fake O.  I'd probably over act it and scream like Arney did near the end of Predator.
 
2014-07-15 03:35:49 PM  
Many, many times.

/ lol'd at "ghost-load".
 
2014-07-15 03:36:48 PM  
Let's see you fake it when you're getting a blow job and she loves to swallow.
 
2014-07-15 03:37:16 PM  
I've done this. Having sex with someone I didn't want to but did it anyway out of a sense of obligation. Wanted it over ASAP, no way I was going to finish any time soon.... time to fake it.

I probably sound remarkably female there.
 
2014-07-15 03:37:32 PM  
When you have to lie to your partner the relationship is only going to keep going downhill.
 
2014-07-15 03:37:34 PM  

calbert: absolutely. and like the article says, the key is wearing a condom.

nothing wrong with a little pump, pump, pump, then blow a ghost-load.

usually it's due to being extremely tired and having to get up early the next morning, however I'll admit that once it was because I had another girl coming over shortly and had to get rid of the current girl asap.


Yep. Only other time(s) I've done it, I was too drunk to orgasm but not drunk enough to get whiskey dick*. Can't really pull it off if you're not wearing a condom though.

*given how much I could drink in college, I'm surprised it hasn't happened
 
2014-07-15 03:39:42 PM  

Brick-House: Let's see you fake it when you're getting a blow job and she loves to swallow.


There's only one way to solve that problem. Marry her.
 
2014-07-15 03:40:18 PM  

Brick-House: Let's see you fake it when you're getting a blow job and she loves to swallow.


That woman is a work of fiction.
 
2014-07-15 03:40:38 PM  
I'm a girl, and I've never had to fake it. I can't imagine a man having to do so.
 
2014-07-15 03:42:04 PM  

calbert: absolutely. and like the article says, the key is wearing a condom.

nothing wrong with a little pump, pump, pump, then blow a ghost-load.

usually it's due to being extremely tired and having to get up early the next morning, however I'll admit that once it was because I had another girl coming over shortly and had to get rid of the current girl asap.


Would have served you right if they'd met at your door
 
2014-07-15 03:42:16 PM  
I have faked it a few times. I mean when she lays there like a bag of potatoes and expects me to do all the work I really don't feel like continuing because it's boring.
 
2014-07-15 03:43:04 PM  

Russ1642: When you have to lie to your partner the relationship is only going to keep going downhill.


But if it weren't for lies I'd never get laid.
 
2014-07-15 03:43:43 PM  

hairywoogit: Yep.  Did it with my first wife.  It's really hard to get to the end stages while donking a beached whale that smells vaguely like parmesan cheese and sweat.  In my defense, she didn't start that way.  Some times, marriage does really weird things to people, like reveal the fact that she was a were-beluga.


You tell 'em, Adonis!
 
2014-07-15 03:44:03 PM  

hairywoogit: Some times, marriage does really weird things to people, like reveal the fact that she was a were-beluga.


This is my nightmare.
 
2014-07-15 03:44:05 PM  
The whole way through the act, I usually resemble one of those giant Easter Island heads. So I can usually get away with a fake.
 
2014-07-15 03:44:57 PM  

hairywoogit: Yep.  Did it with my first wife.  It's really hard to get to the end stages while donking a beached whale that smells vaguely like parmesan cheese and sweat.  In my defense, she didn't start that way.  Some times, marriage does really weird things to people, like reveal the fact that she was a were-beluga.


Your username and the word "were-beluga" now have me envisioning a book about males faking orgasms written by Dr Seuss.

Horton Mimed a Climax
 
2014-07-15 03:45:29 PM  
I've done it, sometimes you get the same effect without anything happening. There's an endorphin release, and as a guy, you're just done. Since I usually make sure my wife is taken care of a few times over, and I feel completely finished, there's no problem. Then again, with my wife, I don't have to fake it, I can just tell her.

I'm really betting that the number is really higher than 30%.
 
2014-07-15 03:45:32 PM  

namatad: so he goes limp and pretends he couldnt hold it ?
that's faking it ?
LOL


that means your hoohaa stinks and he's looking for an out
 
2014-07-15 03:46:04 PM  
I had a girl cut me with her teeth when she went down on me one time. Being 19 I didn't really know what was going on but I knew it hurt and I wanted her to stop, but maybe do it again in the future. I told her she couldn't tell because it had mixed in with her spit.
 
2014-07-15 03:46:29 PM  

LeroyBourne: Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: I've had to do it a couple of times.  When the sun is coming up and you have to be at work in a few hours... you do what you gotta do.

Lol, couldn't you just explain to her that it's not happening and it's time to sleep?  I'm not a good enough actor to pull off a fake O.  I'd probably over act it and scream like Arney did near the end of Predator.


Damnit. I'm drunk but imagining climaxing and screaming like Arnie at the end of Predator... that's the funniest thing I've read on Fark in a while.
 
2014-07-15 03:46:45 PM  
Orgasm trifecta in play?
 
2014-07-15 03:46:48 PM  

hairywoogit: It's really hard to get to the end stages while donking a beached whale that smells vaguely like parmesan cheese and sweat.


Not for me! Actually, that sounds pretty ideal. I'm going to stop by Papa John's on the way home, and ask her to roll around in it first.
 
2014-07-15 03:48:35 PM  

LeroyBourne: Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: I've had to do it a couple of times.  When the sun is coming up and you have to be at work in a few hours... you do what you gotta do.

Lol, couldn't you just explain to her that it's not happening and it's time to sleep?  I'm not a good enough actor to pull off a fake O.  I'd probably over act it and scream like Arney did near the end of Predator.


The image that has put in my head is farking hilarious.
 
2014-07-15 03:48:41 PM  
LeroyBourne:  I'm not a good enough actor to pull off a fake O.  I'd probably over act it and scream like Arney did near the end of Predator.

Next time I get busy with the wife I'm going to scream "GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!"
 
2014-07-15 03:49:01 PM  

hairywoogit: Yep.  Did it with my first wife.  It's really hard to get to the end stages while donking a beached whale that smells vaguely like parmesan cheese and sweat.  In my defense, she didn't start that way.  Some times, marriage does really weird things to people, like reveal the fact that she was a were-beluga.


You should have known something was wrong when she told you she was from Bon Temps, Louisiana.
 
2014-07-15 03:50:04 PM  

rzrwiresunrise: Room temperature yogurt, subby. Jeez. m.


"mmmmm.....strawberry!"
 
2014-07-15 03:51:48 PM  

UberDave: LeroyBourne:  I'm not a good enough actor to pull off a fake O.  I'd probably over act it and scream like Arney did near the end of Predator.

Next time I get busy with the wife I'm going to scream "GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!"


I now know why you cum, but it is something I can nevah do.
 
2014-07-15 03:53:16 PM  

elev8meL8r: rzrwiresunrise: Room temperature yogurt, subby. Jeez. m.

"mmmmm.....strawberry!"


I wonder if you could pull off "It always tastes like that when I get an AMAZING blow job"

Then see the look of disappointment on her face every time she tried.
 
2014-07-15 03:53:38 PM  
"Were-beluga"?
 
2014-07-15 03:54:58 PM  

UberDave: LeroyBourne:  I'm not a good enough actor to pull off a fake O.  I'd probably over act it and scream like Arney did near the end of Predator.

Next time I get busy with the wife I'm going to scream "GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!"


If I ever meet that special someone and I ask her if she's bleeding and she replies 'i ain't got time to bleed.'  I'll have to lock that one down.
 
2014-07-15 03:56:00 PM  
Remember when I said I'd cum in you last? I lied.
 
2014-07-15 03:56:17 PM  

hairywoogit: Yep.  Did it with my first wife.  It's really hard to get to the end stages while donking a beached whale that smells vaguely like parmesan cheese and sweat.  In my defense, she didn't start that way.  Some times, marriage does really weird things to people, like reveal the fact that she was a were-beluga.


You owe my bosses a new keyboard, two monitors, a tower and a fabric bulletin board.

I feel your pain.  My ex-wife was a were-hippo
 
2014-07-15 03:57:17 PM  
Any guy who hasn't faked one or two is either 18 or hasn't met a selfish lover who manages to take all the fun out of one of the most fun things you could possibly do.  Some women are just plain selfish as hell and sometimes you just get plain fed up and frustrated with them to the point where you can't perform.  You can try talking about it all you want and you might get one or two nights of paying attention to your needs out of pity then it's back the same old thing. Eventually you get tired of trying to explain the same concepts to her over and over and feeling like you have to ask for the same things that you freely give and find other ways to fill your needs.

Seriously even great couples can have periods of bad sex.
 
2014-07-15 03:58:27 PM  

Slaxl: LeroyBourne: Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: I've had to do it a couple of times.  When the sun is coming up and you have to be at work in a few hours... you do what you gotta do.

Lol, couldn't you just explain to her that it's not happening and it's time to sleep?  I'm not a good enough actor to pull off a fake O.  I'd probably over act it and scream like Arney did near the end of Predator.

Damnit. I'm drunk but imagining climaxing and screaming like Arnie at the end of Predator... that's the funniest thing I've read on Fark in a while.


Thanks, you day dranking?  It's 3pm around these parts.  NTTAWWT
 
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