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(Huffington Post)   Subette's ex-husband is finally getting the international attention he deserves   (live.huffingtonpost.com) divider line 89
    More: Amusing  
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20710 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2014 at 4:47 AM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



89 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-07-14 10:34:28 PM  
I hear ya sister. Tell them it doesn't matter when you're in love, but the years go by and they aren't so cute and witty anymore.
 
2014-07-14 10:41:24 PM  
I read the headline, then clicked the link. Then I laughed so hard I scared the chihuahuas.

Nice, subette.
 
2014-07-14 10:43:59 PM  
I coulda been a contender...
 
2014-07-14 11:08:35 PM  
Guess I would win the booby prize
 
2014-07-14 11:22:06 PM  
snicker
 
2014-07-14 11:46:42 PM  
Subette would have hosted the linked event in her vagina, had there not been a scheduling conflict with the tunnel boring machine manufacturers exhibition, and convention.
 
2014-07-15 12:14:13 AM  
This link got 5 upvotes and a redlight. You suck tonight, admins.
 
2014-07-16 05:07:18 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: This link got 5 upvotes and a redlight. You suck tonight, admins.


Green now. Good thing too. Funny headline is funny.
 
2014-07-16 05:23:22 AM  
Too much focus on small penises and not enough on small boobies.
 
2014-07-16 06:18:20 AM  

Jaicu: snicker


Would that be of the fun size or miniature variety?
 
2014-07-16 06:26:59 AM  
So glad I clicked *that* at work.
 
2014-07-16 06:32:28 AM  
What's the criteria?  I mean, it can be tiny when it's cold, if visible at all, but still a good 6 inches when erect.

A bunch of guys with cold-packs could result in a tie of multiple contestants.
 
2014-07-16 06:36:54 AM  
Approves.

www.gardengrocer.com
 
2014-07-16 06:41:55 AM  
your ex runs a bar?
 
2014-07-16 06:44:41 AM  
I was in the pool!!
 
2014-07-16 06:46:30 AM  
I was told that size doesn't matter.
 
2014-07-16 06:49:05 AM  
 
2014-07-16 06:49:13 AM  

JasonOfOrillia: I was told that size doesn't matter.


You were lied to.
 
2014-07-16 06:55:46 AM  

quatchi: ecmoRandomNumbers: This link got 5 upvotes and a redlight. You suck tonight, admins.

Green now. Good thing too. Funny headline is funny.


Linking to a video, not funny
 
2014-07-16 06:56:06 AM  

bearded clamorer: Subette would have hosted the linked event in her vagina, had there not been a scheduling conflict with the tunnel boring machine manufacturers exhibition, and convention.


Nice...
 
2014-07-16 06:59:42 AM  
pumpydingdong.com
 
2014-07-16 07:03:49 AM  
Can't get the link to work.
 
2014-07-16 07:05:51 AM  

cheap_thoughts: Can't get the link to work.


Try this
 
2014-07-16 07:07:19 AM  
FINALLY! Something I can win at! I never win contests but with this one I have a chance!
 
2014-07-16 07:11:31 AM  
Who attends something like that?

Other than Corvette and AR-15 Salesmen.
 
2014-07-16 07:13:27 AM  

JoieD'Zen: I hear ya sister. Tell them it doesn't matter when you're in love, but the years go by and they aren't so cute and witty anymore.


Sooo, if he's well-endowed, he's set for life? Meanwhile, your nipples are on a continuous journey towards the center of the earth.

/I thought technique was important
 
2014-07-16 07:15:23 AM  
Is there a Biggest Vajoo contest in Brooklyn as well and then the two freaks can go out on a date?
 
2014-07-16 07:15:44 AM  
NOT ME!   They call me Paving Stone Man for a reason.  12" x 1/2" in diameter, baybee ;)
 
2014-07-16 07:17:19 AM  

LewDux: cheap_thoughts: Can't get the link to work.

Try this


Thank you, good sir. I was experiencing the same malady as our friend here.
 
2014-07-16 07:17:55 AM  

Smoking GNU: LewDux: cheap_thoughts: Can't get the link to work.

Try this

Thank you, good sir. I was experiencing the same malady as our friend here.


That'll teach me to actually FOLLOW the link provided before actually commenting....
 
2014-07-16 07:30:15 AM  

SpinStopper: NOT ME!   They call me Paving Stone Man for a reason.  12" x 1/2" in diameter, baybee ;)


That sounds more like "Pencil Dick" to me.
 
2014-07-16 07:35:17 AM  

Jesus Farking Christ: SpinStopper: NOT ME!   They call me Paving Stone Man for a reason.  12" x 1/2" in diameter, baybee ;)

That sounds more like "Pencil Dick" to me.


The Bug Fuggar!
 
2014-07-16 07:48:33 AM  
A black screen?
 
2014-07-16 07:52:40 AM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: So glad I clicked *that* at work.


Pretty much this.

/didn't realize the volume was up so high
//luckily no one else is in the office yet
///three
 
2014-07-16 07:56:25 AM  
But a small penis does have its consolation prize.  You get to drive a monster truck, or at least a jacked up 4x4.
 
2014-07-16 07:59:37 AM  

ReapTheChaos: JasonOfOrillia: I was told that size doesn't matter.

You were lied to.


Misled, if you will.
 
2014-07-16 08:03:23 AM  
the guy from a few headlines up should win this one easy.

small penis trifecta in play?
 
2014-07-16 08:10:23 AM  

Wolf892: So, is making fun of a small penis the male equivalent to "fat shaming" in women? If so, what would be a good slogan that is parallel to "Real women have curves." "Real men have better things to worry about."??


I think a closer allegory would be a cavernous vagina; a huge hallway makes the hotdog seem smaller.
 
2014-07-16 08:17:45 AM  
 
2014-07-16 08:21:11 AM  

Wolf892: So, is making fun of a small penis the male equivalent to "fat shaming" in women? If so, what would be a good slogan that is parallel to "Real women have curves." "Real men have better things to worry about."??


Real men have tongues?
 
2014-07-16 08:21:24 AM  
.
 
2014-07-16 08:21:46 AM  
At first I was afraid,
I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches
Lord, I almost died.
But I'd spent so many nights
just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on. . .
But there you are,
Another lie!
I was ready for a Big Mac
and you've brought me a French fry.
I should have known it was so small,
Just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those jeans.
Go on now go,
Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches
then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn't notice it pop out,
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?
I will survive,
I will survi-ive,
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex.
I will survive,
I will survive. . hey, hey!

It took all my self control
not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little wiener
standing small and proud.
But too bad about your ego
and to Hell with all your needs!
Now I'm saving all my lovin'
for a cordless multispeed
Go on now go,
Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a dick that small I was treating diaper rash!
I should have asked for confirmation,
Should have asked for pictures, please!
Then I wouldn't have you waving that
wee winkie thing at me.
Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no little worm,
I'll always throw them back.
The only thing that I could do with a dick as small as yours, Is to stick it
with a tooth pick And then call it an hors d'oeuvre!
I will survive,
I will survi-ive,
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex.
I will survive,
I will survive. . .hey, hey!
Go on now go,
Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance,
Cuz I know it's length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny pecker peckin' at my door,
You'll be counting your 4 inches as you pick them off the floor.
Go on now Go!
 
2014-07-16 08:22:02 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: .


My Boobies in this thread is the smallest. I win.
 
2014-07-16 08:23:09 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Prank Call of Cthulhu: .

My Boobies in this thread is the smallest. I win.


And by Boobies, of course, I meant Weeners.
 
2014-07-16 08:26:01 AM  
img.fark.net

Of course it's going to look small next to her.
It's all about scale.
 
2014-07-16 08:29:26 AM  
I thought that contest was currently being held along the US-Mexico border.

i117.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-16 08:37:54 AM  
YOU BIATCH, YOU SAID YOU WOULND'T TELL....

sorry, my problem, I'll deal with  it.  +
 
2014-07-16 08:39:09 AM  
Is this the grand prize for the winner?

hosuronline.com
 
2014-07-16 08:46:20 AM  
CSB time:

My barber told me a tale of a recent date he had. Third date involved him cooking the woman dinner, and they had some conversation on the porch with some wine afterwards. Woman proceeds to tell him that she didn't want to waste anymore time, and had to know if he had 11 inches, explaining that's the only length that would please her. He confessed that he was not of such mammoth proportions, and if that was a problem she should end their association now, to which she promptly did and left without finishing her wine.
 
2014-07-16 08:55:35 AM  

Wolf892: wiwille: CSB time:

My barber told me a tale of a recent date he had. Third date involved him cooking the woman dinner, and they had some conversation on the porch with some wine afterwards. Woman proceeds to tell him that she didn't want to waste anymore time, and had to know if he had 11 inches, explaining that's the only length that would please her. He confessed that he was not of such mammoth proportions, and if that was a problem she should end their association now, to which she promptly did and left without finishing her wine.

Couldn't he have just fist farked her up to his elbow and called it a night? Or was he afraid of losing his watch?


He does have a nice watch.
 
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