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(Yahoo)   Do you eat fruit? Much like everything else you do, you're doing it wrong   (yahoo.com) divider line 26
    More: Unlikely, dietary fiber, vitamin A, serotonin, smoothies  
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8023 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2014 at 11:39 PM (9 days ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-07-14 10:58:58 PM
6 votes:
I get the maximum vitamins and fiber by taking my fruits rectally.
I'm hoping the Farmer's Market has cherries tomorrow instead of pineapples
Or. Am. I?
2014-07-15 05:33:07 AM
5 votes:
Most of us toss pizza boxes in the trash, because what else are you going to do with them? Eat them! It turns out they're not just edible, but the cardboard and glue of some boxes is actually healthier for you than Botox treatments and collagen injections. Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist and author of Never Spit, Always Swallow, says there are many great ways to incorporate these nutrient-rich boxes into your diet.

"The box can contain up to three to four times higher a concentration of fiber as the pizza inside," says Snyder. "Fiber is an important part of the body's process when it comes to cleansing toxins, like icky feelings and sad memories and bad hair days, from the body. Pizza boxes also contain a bevy of anti-aging natural oils, excreted from the delivery boy's sweaty palms and fingertips, and possibly also his thighs and crotch area if he rode with the pizza in his lap." By the way, they're also very low in calories, fats, and sugars, and some of the inks used on the boxes may give you a mood-boosting euphoric effect that's only suspected but not confirmed to cause permanent brain damage.

"For most major franchises like Dominos and Pizza Hut, it's never been a secret that their boxes have higher levels of taste and nutrition than their pizza," says Snyder. But how are you supposed to eat them? Snyder suggests zesting pizza boxes with a grater into your salad dressing or tossing a piece of the lid into smoothies. "I was recently in Thailand doing some illicit substances, and one night while I was seriously tripping balls, I wadded up an entire pizza box and crammed it up my rectum. Not only did I get the full nutritive benefits of the box in suppository form, but it also proved to be a more natural and less expensive way to get a really perky butt implant."
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-07-14 07:48:50 PM
5 votes:

dj_bigbird: Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist

Stopped reading right there


If you can't trust the nutrionist to the starfruit, who can you trust?
2014-07-14 11:51:58 PM
4 votes:

Marcus Aurelius: Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.

I was at the deli counter and the woman ahead of me wanted organic ham.  I shiat you not near her luggage.

2014-07-14 09:48:55 PM
3 votes:
I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.
2014-07-14 09:46:00 PM
3 votes:
Drink up, Socrates. It's all-natural.
2014-07-15 12:35:03 AM
2 votes:
"Your produce alone has been worth the trip."

img.corcholat.com
2014-07-14 11:56:08 PM
2 votes:

Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.


I was at a farmers market looking over a table with ice cream. A woman said, "That ice cream looks really good but what kind of cows do you use for milk? I'm allergic to milk from Holsteins."

I punched her and the people around me cheered.

/ First part of my story is true. Second is not.
// Sadly
2014-07-14 11:48:06 PM
2 votes:
Do you like eating meat?  Of course you do.  So why not take a bunch of animal bones and crush them up in a blender and eat them?  They're low in calories, since they're not farking food at all, and they're full of fiber, since they're not food at all, much as sawdust and bark are high in fiber and low in calories.

Or, why not go out in your backyard and stuff handfulls of dirt in your mouth and eat them, you stupid farking animal?
2014-07-14 09:58:10 PM
2 votes:
You might not like bananas but you must admit it has a peel.
2014-07-15 07:44:30 AM
1 votes:

Swiss Colony: mamoru: Marcus Aurelius: Cake Hunter:

Well, to be fair, the last time she didn't specify, and they served her a slice of rusty iron covered in salt.  Of course, this time they could have easily served her a ham-shaped piece of plastic. ;)

Sorry, what's wrong with organic ham? You can get organic meat as well as fruit and veg. Doesn't cost much more either. Over here (England) I can get a tasteless, battery, pumped-full-of-water whole chicken for £4, a tasty, free-range, corn-fed one for £7 or a (slightly less tasty) free-range, organic one for £9.


Because most people prefer ham  from a pig's leg and a leg isn't an organ so it isn't organic as an organ does not have legs, it has pipes.
2014-07-15 05:21:14 AM
1 votes:

nickdaisy: Are eggs fruit?


Thank you. I just realised I felt like bacon and eggs.

I'll eat the bacon peel.
2014-07-15 01:14:07 AM
1 votes:

When I want advice, I ALWAYS turn to YAHOO...

3.bp.blogspot.com



i.imgur.com i.imgur.comi.imgur.com i.imgur.com  i.imgur.com  i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com
2014-07-15 12:36:26 AM
1 votes:

little big man: "Your produce alone has been worth the trip."

[img.corcholat.com image 480x360]


Excellent underrated movie reference!

i291.photobucket.com

/gud jorb
2014-07-15 12:28:49 AM
1 votes:

LordOfThePings: [www.avengers.it image 350x550]


Dammit, I was gonna eat the Peel

starsmedia.ign.com
2014-07-14 11:53:06 PM
1 votes:
the only things I don't skin are grapes and taters otherwise skins taste farking gross, knock yourself out.

I don't want to prepare them right either, I don't prepare an orange other than taking off the yucky skin.
2014-07-14 11:50:02 PM
1 votes:
This article made me even more retarded.
2014-07-14 11:47:30 PM
1 votes:

dj_bigbird: Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist

Stopped reading right there


i.telegraph.co.uk
"Here's my favorite little fact. If anyone is ever described to you as a nutritionist, just be slightly wary, right? What they're saying may be perfectly true, but "nutritionist" isn't a protected term. Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. "Dietician" is the legally protected term. "Dietician" is like "dentist", and "nutritionist" is like "tooth-i-ologist."
2014-07-14 10:23:59 PM
1 votes:

Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.


I was at the deli counter and the woman ahead of me wanted organic ham.  I shiat you not.
2014-07-14 09:35:26 PM
1 votes:
Chocolate comes from a plant, right? And cocaine?

Keep your apples.
2014-07-14 09:10:18 PM
1 votes:
Are eggs fruit?
2014-07-14 08:57:17 PM
1 votes:

itcamefromschenectady: So it's no longer trendy to worry about pesticides?


I think they assume you are buying 100% certified organic(with baby kisses)
2014-07-14 08:48:52 PM
1 votes:
She looks like she'd eat the peel, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

/that's a degloving accident waiting to happen
//she must have been homeschooled
2014-07-14 08:43:16 PM
1 votes:
Wow that's some high quality derp right there.
2014-07-14 06:50:51 PM
1 votes:
Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist

Stopped reading right there
2014-07-14 06:45:40 PM
1 votes:
So it's no longer trendy to worry about pesticides?
 
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