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(Yahoo)   Do you eat fruit? Much like everything else you do, you're doing it wrong   (yahoo.com) divider line 89
    More: Unlikely, dietary fiber, vitamin A, serotonin, smoothies  
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8103 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2014 at 11:39 PM (10 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



89 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-14 06:45:40 PM
So it's no longer trendy to worry about pesticides?
 
2014-07-14 06:50:51 PM
Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist

Stopped reading right there
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-07-14 07:48:50 PM

dj_bigbird: Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist

Stopped reading right there


If you can't trust the nutrionist to the starfruit, who can you trust?
 
2014-07-14 07:51:31 PM
"Not only are organic foods generally more nutritious since they are usually grown in better quality soil, but they also do not contain pesticides,"

Well that is absolutely not true.
 
2014-07-14 08:43:16 PM
Wow that's some high quality derp right there.
 
2014-07-14 08:48:52 PM
She looks like she'd eat the peel, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

/that's a degloving accident waiting to happen
//she must have been homeschooled
 
2014-07-14 08:57:17 PM

itcamefromschenectady: So it's no longer trendy to worry about pesticides?


I think they assume you are buying 100% certified organic(with baby kisses)
 
2014-07-14 09:10:18 PM
Are eggs fruit?
 
2014-07-14 09:29:32 PM
Fiber is an important part of the body's process when it comes to cleansing toxins from the body.

First clue you're talking to somebody who doesn't know jackshiat about nutrition: they mention "cleansing toxins from your body."
 
2014-07-14 09:35:26 PM
Chocolate comes from a plant, right? And cocaine?

Keep your apples.
 
2014-07-14 09:46:00 PM
Drink up, Socrates. It's all-natural.
 
2014-07-14 09:48:55 PM
I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.
 
2014-07-14 09:55:45 PM
Have Nutritionists ever been right? About anything?

In the 70's and 80's. The Nutritionists got on the talk shows and published books and decided the enemy of the American diet was FAT in any form.

As a result people stopped eating eggs..and even using good oils like olive oil..because "Fat was bad".

What the nutritionists suggested as a substitutes for butter and other animal oils was

Whipped Margarine that used 'corn oil' instead of that nasty cow fat butter.

A lot of people brought up in the 70's and 80's still think real butter doesn't taste like the 'butter' of the childhood tub of whipped stuff in the fridge.

But the worst thing...was that the whipped butter the Nutritionists recommenced was basically one of the worst things you can eat....Trans Fat.
 
2014-07-14 09:56:53 PM

itcamefromschenectady: So it's no longer trendy to worry about pesticides?


Do you know how I know you DRTFA?
 
2014-07-14 09:58:10 PM
You might not like bananas but you must admit it has a peel.
 
2014-07-14 10:14:01 PM
Is there anything bananas can't do?

Clearly even more proof of the existence of God.   Behold, the perfect fruit.
 
2014-07-14 10:23:59 PM

Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.


I was at the deli counter and the woman ahead of me wanted organic ham.  I shiat you not.
 
2014-07-14 10:25:18 PM

optikeye: But the worst thing...was that the whipped butter the Nutritionists recommenced was basically one of the worst things you can eat....Trans Fat.


You mean the nice people on TV that were hired by food companies to pitch their product?
 
2014-07-14 10:33:42 PM

Marcus Aurelius: optikeye: But the worst thing...was that the whipped butter the Nutritionists recommenced was basically one of the worst things you can eat....Trans Fat.

You mean the nice people on TV that were hired by food companies to pitch their product?


Partly..but even independent Nutritionists wrote and talked about the evils of "Animal Fat". No eggs, no butter, no lard, no bacon.
 
2014-07-14 10:37:32 PM

Kevin72: itcamefromschenectady: So it's no longer trendy to worry about pesticides?

Do you know how I know you DRTFA?


I did RTFA, I swear the part about pesticides wasn't there the first time. When I searched for "pesticides" it appeared, but Chrome kind of barfed and mixed it up with the comments.
 
2014-07-14 10:47:49 PM

optikeye: Have Nutritionists ever been right? About anything?

In the 70's and 80's. The Nutritionists got on the talk shows and published books and decided the enemy of the American diet was FAT in any form.

As a result people stopped eating eggs..and even using good oils like olive oil..because "Fat was bad".

What the nutritionists suggested as a substitutes for butter and other animal oils was

Whipped Margarine that used 'corn oil' instead of that nasty cow fat butter.

A lot of people brought up in the 70's and 80's still think real butter doesn't taste like the 'butter' of the childhood tub of whipped stuff in the fridge.

But the worst thing...was that the whipped butter the Nutritionists recommenced was basically one of the worst things you can eat....Trans Fat.


I just finished my porterhouse drenched in Kerrygold Irish butter. Mmmmm. I'm down almost 80 pounds since November. Sugar was killing me.
 
2014-07-14 10:58:58 PM
I get the maximum vitamins and fiber by taking my fruits rectally.
I'm hoping the Farmer's Market has cherries tomorrow instead of pineapples
Or. Am. I?
 
2014-07-14 11:06:56 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I get the maximum vitamins and fiber by taking my fruits rectally.
I'm hoping the Farmer's Market has cherries tomorrow instead of pineapples
Or. Am. I?


Dion McGregor would agree with you. (NSFW audio)

/background
 
2014-07-14 11:41:39 PM

TuteTibiImperes: She looks like she'd eat the peel, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

/that's a degloving accident waiting to happen
//she must have been homeschooled


Jesus, don't even joke about that kind of degloving accident.

And I don't even have a penis.
 
2014-07-14 11:47:30 PM

dj_bigbird: Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist

Stopped reading right there


i.telegraph.co.uk
"Here's my favorite little fact. If anyone is ever described to you as a nutritionist, just be slightly wary, right? What they're saying may be perfectly true, but "nutritionist" isn't a protected term. Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. "Dietician" is the legally protected term. "Dietician" is like "dentist", and "nutritionist" is like "tooth-i-ologist."
 
2014-07-14 11:48:06 PM
Do you like eating meat?  Of course you do.  So why not take a bunch of animal bones and crush them up in a blender and eat them?  They're low in calories, since they're not farking food at all, and they're full of fiber, since they're not food at all, much as sawdust and bark are high in fiber and low in calories.

Or, why not go out in your backyard and stuff handfulls of dirt in your mouth and eat them, you stupid farking animal?
 
2014-07-14 11:48:11 PM
"cleansing toxins from the body"

I hope she's donating her liver asap, then, since it can be replaced by banana trash.

/FIBER DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. GOOD NIGHT.
 
2014-07-14 11:49:32 PM
"Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist and author of The Beauty Detox..."

img.4plebs.org
 
2014-07-14 11:50:02 PM
This article made me even more retarded.
 
2014-07-14 11:51:58 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.

I was at the deli counter and the woman ahead of me wanted organic ham.  I shiat you not near her luggage.

 
2014-07-14 11:52:32 PM

optikeye: Have Nutritionists ever been right? About anything?

In the 70's and 80's. The Nutritionists got on the talk shows and published books and decided the enemy of the American diet was FAT in any form.

As a result people stopped eating eggs..and even using good oils like olive oil..because "Fat was bad".

What the nutritionists suggested as a substitutes for butter and other animal oils was

Whipped Margarine that used 'corn oil' instead of that nasty cow fat butter.

A lot of people brought up in the 70's and 80's still think real butter doesn't taste like the 'butter' of the childhood tub of whipped stuff in the fridge.

But the worst thing...was that the whipped butter the Nutritionists recommenced was basically one of the worst things you can eat....Trans Fat.


Just go back 10-20 years from that.

Nutritionists found that you could cure diseases like beri beri, rickets, scurvy etc etc by eating the right food and called these food elements vitamins. That was a huge breakthrough. Just by eating little bits of certain kinds of food or the vitamin in tablet form, diseases could be cured!

On the other side, epidemiologists were able to cure and prevent infectious diseases doing statistical analysis of causes. Get the data on the disease and try to match it up with something else and then you have what's causing the disease.

These methods don't work on over-eating foods type of diseases but that were the most effective tools they had back then before it didn't work.
 
2014-07-14 11:53:06 PM
the only things I don't skin are grapes and taters otherwise skins taste farking gross, knock yourself out.

I don't want to prepare them right either, I don't prepare an orange other than taking off the yucky skin.
 
2014-07-14 11:56:08 PM

Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.


I was at a farmers market looking over a table with ice cream. A woman said, "That ice cream looks really good but what kind of cows do you use for milk? I'm allergic to milk from Holsteins."

I punched her and the people around me cheered.

/ First part of my story is true. Second is not.
// Sadly
 
2014-07-14 11:58:12 PM
I've got a shiny quarter for the next person to post a video of them completely eating a banana peel. Not blended, not a smoothie, just eating the peel.
 
2014-07-14 11:58:44 PM
Does grating the zest of a lime over cheesecake count?
 
2014-07-14 11:59:49 PM
www.avengers.it
 
2014-07-15 12:00:13 AM
We're having a palm tree in our back yard cut down tomorrow. It's very high in fibre. I'm set for life! Seriously, I prefer to drink my fruit. Lime and coconut in my rum is still fruit.
 
2014-07-15 12:01:51 AM

MrBallou: Fiber is an important part of the body's process when it comes to cleansing toxins from the body.

First clue you're talking to somebody who doesn't know jackshiat about nutrition: they mention "cleansing toxins from your body."


toxins?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq1eF6gowSg
 
2014-07-15 12:05:54 AM
I always knew she was eating the banana wrong.
 
2014-07-15 12:15:47 AM

Raider_dad: the only things I don't skin are grapes and taters otherwise skins taste farking gross, knock yourself out.

I don't want to prepare them right either, I don't prepare an orange other than taking off the yucky skin.


How do you skin raisins and dried blueberries?
 
2014-07-15 12:16:13 AM
Goddammit. Why do people believe that a) their body is full of 'toxins' and b) that your body needs your specific help in the form of magical fruits and elixirs?
I swear to god the average human still lives in the dark ages.

/I eat the skin of many fruits
//who can be farked peeling a grape?
 
2014-07-15 12:17:03 AM
That should've read craisins.
 
2014-07-15 12:17:12 AM
So waste all the time scrubbing a half cm of wax off of them or pay 8 times as much at a foodie Wal mart.
 
2014-07-15 12:19:01 AM

Marcus Aurelius: Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.

I was at the deli counter and the woman ahead of me wanted organic ham.  I shiat you not.


Well, to be fair, the last time she didn't specify, and they served her a slice of rusty iron covered in salt.  Of course, this time they could have easily served her a ham-shaped piece of plastic. ;)
 
2014-07-15 12:19:36 AM
You know how I know you're not supposed to eat the peel?

/pops
//pops
///pops
 
2014-07-15 12:20:22 AM

sjcousins: Goddammit. Why do people believe that a) their body is full of 'toxins'


Because it's a really easy way to sell crap to impressionable rubes.
 
2014-07-15 12:21:26 AM
Whenever my coworkers said they were going on a 'cleanse' I always thought "Happy shiatting!" with the self induced diarrhea .  When I asked "What toxins?" my question was ignored.  My coworkers were prime examples of why America is fat.  "I can't eat that. I'm on a diet." two days later. "It's okay to cheat if you eat that today and tomorrow!"  Yet when they asked me how I kept my weight off and stayed at a stable weight my "To lose weight there is never 'cheating' just moderation." mantra was ignored. Because your overall diet change was what was an important and met with a "I can't do that! Tee hee! *Scarf an entire cake*"
 
2014-07-15 12:21:38 AM
"Purple's a fruit right?"
 
2014-07-15 12:28:49 AM

LordOfThePings: [www.avengers.it image 350x550]


Dammit, I was gonna eat the Peel

starsmedia.ign.com
 
2014-07-15 12:30:36 AM

sjcousins: Goddammit. Why do people believe that a) their body is full of 'toxins' and b) that your body needs your specific help in the form of magical fruits and elixirs?
I swear to god the average human still lives in the dark ages.

/I eat the skin of many fruits
//who can be farked peeling a grape?


Because it SOUNDS so good and so right. They feel "bad" and their doctor says there's nothing wrong with them (i.e. they're not sick with a disease and they don't have cancer), so they listen to some dipsh*t on TV or read a supermarket takeout magazine and it tells them they feel tired and irritable because of "toxins" or "liver imbalance" or whatever, and if they take this or drink that or peel their fruit or drink 96 ounces of water a day they'll "purge the toxins" and feel better.

And strangely enough, they do! because whatever was intermittently wrong was self-limiting, or genuinely due to a temporary bowel interruption, and they think Aha! I was "toxic" like TV Guru said! and they follow along until the next time they feel "bad" and its on to the next fad fix.

Those of us who eat and exercise in moderation and are aware that sometimes you just feel like crap or have a little diarrhea once in a while don't have these issues; but just try to tell Toxic Tillie at work that. She'll look at you with sympathy and try and convert you to the acai berry colon cleanse.
 
2014-07-15 12:31:38 AM
What's up with all these idiots telling us how to correctly ear fruit lately? Are you so nutritionally deprived or stuck on an island that you can't get fiber or other nutrients from other foods? Get a new internet crusade. Please.
 
2014-07-15 12:34:14 AM

mr0x: Just go back 10-20 years from that.

Nutritionists found that you could cure diseases like beri beri, rickets, scurvy etc etc by eating the right food and called these food elements vitamins. That was a huge breakthrough.


That was much longer than 20 years ago.

In fact Captain Cook had cabbages and sauerkraut on board his voyages. With little to none Scury.
There was a double blind test for scurvy suffering in the early 1800's...some feed high Vitamin C and other Not...the Vitamin C people got better..And yet the royal navy and powers that be at the time ignored the results for decades. Until they decided to issue poorly stored lime juice. Which unfortunately lost much of vitamin c over the voyage and the problem continued.

It's all fascinating and the 'discoveries' you mention where not new and met with pushback from the people in power in the previous century.
 
2014-07-15 12:35:03 AM
"Your produce alone has been worth the trip."

img.corcholat.com
 
2014-07-15 12:36:26 AM

little big man: "Your produce alone has been worth the trip."

[img.corcholat.com image 480x360]


Excellent underrated movie reference!

i291.photobucket.com

/gud jorb
 
2014-07-15 12:48:23 AM

Gyrfalcon: sjcousins: Goddammit. Why do people believe that a) their body is full of 'toxins' and b) that your body needs your specific help in the form of magical fruits and elixirs?
I swear to god the average human still lives in the dark ages.

/I eat the skin of many fruits
//who can be farked peeling a grape?

Because it SOUNDS so good and so right. They feel "bad" and their doctor says there's nothing wrong with them (i.e. they're not sick with a disease and they don't have cancer), so they listen to some dipsh*t on TV or read a supermarket takeout magazine and it tells them they feel tired and irritable because of "toxins" or "liver imbalance" or whatever, and if they take this or drink that or peel their fruit or drink 96 ounces of water a day they'll "purge the toxins" and feel better.

And strangely enough, they do! because whatever was intermittently wrong was self-limiting, or genuinely due to a temporary bowel interruption, and they think Aha! I was "toxic" like TV Guru said! and they follow along until the next time they feel "bad" and its on to the next fad fix.

Those of us who eat and exercise in moderation and are aware that sometimes you just feel like crap or have a little diarrhea once in a while don't have these issues; but just try to tell Toxic Tillie at work that. She'll look at you with sympathy and try and convert you to the acai berry colon cleanse.


True, but what annoys me is people who are actually sick not getting treatment because of this crap. I even get naturopath advice from my damn chemist now.
My wife had gallstones a while back and had her gallbladder removed. An acquaintance told me how surgery was just an unnecessary, moneymaking scam and that gallstones can be cleansed naturally with vinegar (organic apple cider of course) and olive oil! Needless to say my wife had the surgery to remove her gall bladder and was no longer doubled over in pain and vomiting. Still, I googled the oil remedy out of interest. Turns out drinking a bottle of olive oil and apple cider causes the fats in the oil to clump and start to saponify. They also absorb bile as your body tries to deal with the amount of fat you've dumped in your stomach which turns these soapy, fatty lumps green and they do look remarkably like gall stones. When you crap these lumps out, voila! You've just cleansed your gall bladder naturally! I can't imagine the pain and possibly death this remedy has caused someone who actually has a blocked bile duct.
/csb
 
2014-07-15 12:49:02 AM
The moment anyone speaks of unspecified toxins is the moment you are hearing bullsh*t.Were someone to find a miracle fruit or grain which helps us eliminate mercury which has bioaccumulated, this would be sold especially for such a purpose. However, whenever a person tries to peddle products which seem to cure the unknown woes of ineffective immune and digestive systems, understand evolution would have already made those products tasty to us, would have given us a craving for them.

"For some citrus fruits like oranges, the peel has even higher levels of vitamin C than the juice," says Snyder.

Why the f*ck would anyone concern themselves with gaining enough vitamin C? This is important for humans, but with any amount of fruit in your diet you will likely consume far more than needed. Eat an orange sans the peel and you are basically done for the day... Folks do not get scurvy anymore because the foods which carry ascorbic acid keep long enough to be consumed.
 
2014-07-15 12:50:02 AM
I learned that bananas are berries and strawberries are not.
 
2014-07-15 12:53:16 AM

vice_magnet: I learned that bananas are berries and strawberries are not.


Drupes and aggregates are delicious!
 
2014-07-15 12:55:57 AM
I used to have a neighbor who is a "nutritionist."  She looked like Skeletor without all the muscles.  No way in hell I'd take any kind of diet advice from her.
 
2014-07-15 01:05:29 AM
Jesus farking christ, I've had it with this sort of shiat. Maddox agrees.
 
2014-07-15 01:14:07 AM

When I want advice, I ALWAYS turn to YAHOO...

3.bp.blogspot.com



i.imgur.com i.imgur.comi.imgur.com i.imgur.com  i.imgur.com  i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-15 01:14:21 AM
There's a big diffrence between "Nutritionist" and Dietitian . In credentials--anyone can call themselves a nutritionist.

A Dietitian will sometimes go by the 'nutritionist' name. But a Dietitian has a degree and quite often other sub degrees in the medical field--and works with Hospitals and doctors and analyses blood chemistry body fat and make recommendations for diet based on sound science.

But still you'll see those people called 'nutritionists' and they don't seem to mind. My Doctor's office has one that I see once a year, and she does the BMI eletro thing..and reviews blood tests etc. And then tells me I'm not exercising enough and should eat more protein and fruit.
 
2014-07-15 01:15:10 AM
Boo fruit. Yay vegetables!

/serious
 
2014-07-15 01:16:42 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I get the maximum vitamins and fiber by taking my fruits rectally.
I'm hoping the Farmer's Market has cherries tomorrow instead of pineapples
Or. Am. I?


I snorted and then I chortled.
 
2014-07-15 01:19:27 AM

Dahnkster: When I want advice, I ALWAYS turn to YAHOO...

            


Are you completely inadequate when it comes to adult life? Buy our products!!

/but wait there's more!
 
2014-07-15 01:40:59 AM

Dahnkster: When I want advice, I ALWAYS turn to YAHOO...[3.bp.blogspot.com image 613x226]

[i.imgur.com image 180x191] [i.imgur.com image 250x208][i.imgur.com image 300x166] [i.imgur.com image 300x200]  [i.imgur.com image 300x209]  [i.imgur.com image 240x180] [i.imgur.com image 300x221] [i.imgur.com image 250x186] [i.imgur.com image 320x181] [i.imgur.com image 267x200] [i.imgur.com image 296x199] [i.imgur.com image 250x188] [i.imgur.com image 250x188]


Every single one of those gifs should have a "Thanks, Obama!" caption.
 
2014-07-15 02:45:16 AM
Ctrl+F "Mango"

Not found.

Alton Browny Mango Goodness
 
2014-07-15 02:47:49 AM
I've eaten banana peels. They suck. Mealy and a slightly bitter bleh flavor.

Orange peels are the best. In marmalade.
 
2014-07-15 02:52:11 AM

MrBallou: Fiber is an important part of the body's process when it comes to cleansing toxins from the body.

First clue you're talking to somebody who doesn't know jackshiat about nutrition: they mention "cleansing toxins from your body."


Unless they are talking about the liver :)
 
2014-07-15 02:56:48 AM

Barfmaker: "Not only are organic foods generally more nutritious since they are usually grown in better quality soil, but they also do not contain pesticides,"

Well that is absolutely not true.


That's where I stopped reading. Because not only does "organic" have precisely fark all to do with soil quality, neither does nutrient level. That's determined by the plant's DNA. The most nutritious produce, therefore, must be GMO crops modified for that purpose. Why won't nutritionists, with all the expertise of their made up qualifications, tell us this?
 
2014-07-15 02:59:07 AM
Dole Office Clerk: Occupation?
Comicus: Nutritionist.
Dole Office Clerk: What?
Comicus: Nutritionist. I tell people to eat fruit peels and detox often.
Dole Office Clerk: Oh, a bullshiat artist!
Comicus: *Grumble*...
Dole Office Clerk: Did you bullshiat last week?
Comicus: No.
Dole Office Clerk: Did you *try* to bullshiat last week?
Comicus: Yes!
 
2014-07-15 03:05:03 AM

Duane Dibbley: Barfmaker: "Not only are organic foods generally more nutritious since they are usually grown in better quality soil, but they also do not contain pesticides,"

Well that is absolutely not true.

That's where I stopped reading. Because not only does "organic" have precisely fark all to do with soil quality, neither does nutrient level. That's determined by the plant's DNA. The most nutritious produce, therefore, must be GMO crops modified for that purpose. Why won't nutritionists, with all the expertise of their made up qualifications, tell us this?


Crops aren't GMO'd for more nutrition...they get modded for higher yield, pesticide/herbicide resistance, drought tolerance, longer storage for shipping...just about everything but nutrition or flavor.
 
2014-07-15 03:48:14 AM

Bonzo_1116: Duane Dibbley: Barfmaker: "Not only are organic foods generally more nutritious since they are usually grown in better quality soil, but they also do not contain pesticides,"

Well that is absolutely not true.

That's where I stopped reading. Because not only does "organic" have precisely fark all to do with soil quality, neither does nutrient level. That's determined by the plant's DNA. The most nutritious produce, therefore, must be GMO crops modified for that purpose. Why won't nutritionists, with all the expertise of their made up qualifications, tell us this?

Crops aren't GMO'd for more nutrition...they get modded for higher yield, pesticide/herbicide resistance, drought tolerance, longer storage for shipping...just about everything but nutrition or flavor.


Golden Rice would like a word.

/but but
//GMOZ ARE THE DEBBILz
 
2014-07-15 05:21:14 AM

nickdaisy: Are eggs fruit?


Thank you. I just realised I felt like bacon and eggs.

I'll eat the bacon peel.
 
2014-07-15 05:33:07 AM
Most of us toss pizza boxes in the trash, because what else are you going to do with them? Eat them! It turns out they're not just edible, but the cardboard and glue of some boxes is actually healthier for you than Botox treatments and collagen injections. Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist and author of Never Spit, Always Swallow, says there are many great ways to incorporate these nutrient-rich boxes into your diet.

"The box can contain up to three to four times higher a concentration of fiber as the pizza inside," says Snyder. "Fiber is an important part of the body's process when it comes to cleansing toxins, like icky feelings and sad memories and bad hair days, from the body. Pizza boxes also contain a bevy of anti-aging natural oils, excreted from the delivery boy's sweaty palms and fingertips, and possibly also his thighs and crotch area if he rode with the pizza in his lap." By the way, they're also very low in calories, fats, and sugars, and some of the inks used on the boxes may give you a mood-boosting euphoric effect that's only suspected but not confirmed to cause permanent brain damage.

"For most major franchises like Dominos and Pizza Hut, it's never been a secret that their boxes have higher levels of taste and nutrition than their pizza," says Snyder. But how are you supposed to eat them? Snyder suggests zesting pizza boxes with a grater into your salad dressing or tossing a piece of the lid into smoothies. "I was recently in Thailand doing some illicit substances, and one night while I was seriously tripping balls, I wadded up an entire pizza box and crammed it up my rectum. Not only did I get the full nutritive benefits of the box in suppository form, but it also proved to be a more natural and less expensive way to get a really perky butt implant."
 
2014-07-15 06:13:13 AM

Raider_dad: the only things I don't skin are grapes and taters otherwise skins taste farking gross, knock yourself out.

I don't want to prepare them right either, I don't prepare an orange other than taking off the yucky skin.


Do you skin your victims? I hear they taste better whole.
 
2014-07-15 06:32:34 AM

mamoru: Marcus Aurelius: Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.

I was at the deli counter and the woman ahead of me wanted organic ham.  I shiat you not.

Well, to be fair, the last time she didn't specify, and they served her a slice of rusty iron covered in salt.  Of course, this time they could have easily served her a ham-shaped piece of plastic. ;)


Sorry, what's wrong with organic ham? You can get organic meat as well as fruit and veg. Doesn't cost much more either. Over here (England) I can get a tasteless, battery, pumped-full-of-water whole chicken for £4, a tasty, free-range, corn-fed one for £7 or a (slightly less tasty) free-range, organic one for £9.
 
2014-07-15 07:12:19 AM
There's only one thing to do with a banana peel.
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-15 07:32:42 AM

Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.


If you had cracked him over the head with one of those pole barriers with the pull out rope thingies, I wouldn't have convicted you, if I was on the jury.

I would have taken a handful of lettuce and stuck it in his pocket for him.
 
2014-07-15 07:44:30 AM

Swiss Colony: mamoru: Marcus Aurelius: Cake Hunter:

Well, to be fair, the last time she didn't specify, and they served her a slice of rusty iron covered in salt.  Of course, this time they could have easily served her a ham-shaped piece of plastic. ;)

Sorry, what's wrong with organic ham? You can get organic meat as well as fruit and veg. Doesn't cost much more either. Over here (England) I can get a tasteless, battery, pumped-full-of-water whole chicken for £4, a tasty, free-range, corn-fed one for £7 or a (slightly less tasty) free-range, organic one for £9.


Because most people prefer ham  from a pig's leg and a leg isn't an organ so it isn't organic as an organ does not have legs, it has pipes.
 
2014-07-15 07:55:31 AM

I_Am_Weasel: Is there anything bananas can't do?

Clearly even more proof of the existence of God.   Behold, the perfect fruit.


That's a very obscure reference right there.  +1
 
2014-07-15 08:30:29 AM

optikeye: Have Nutritionists ever been right? About anything?

In the 70's and 80's. The Nutritionists got on the talk shows and published books and decided the enemy of the American diet was FAT in any form.

As a result people stopped eating eggs..and even using good oils like olive oil..because "Fat was bad".

What the nutritionists suggested as a substitutes for butter and other animal oils was

Whipped Margarine that used 'corn oil' instead of that nasty cow fat butter.

A lot of people brought up in the 70's and 80's still think real butter doesn't taste like the 'butter' of the childhood tub of whipped stuff in the fridge.

But the worst thing...was that the whipped butter the Nutritionists recommenced was basically one of the worst things you can eat....Trans Fat.



Also, if you leave the whipped stuff out long enough for it to separate, you will find out that half of it is just water.
 
2014-07-15 08:36:37 AM
Organic is a synonym for pretentious. That is all for now.
 
2014-07-15 09:08:28 AM

FuzedBox: Jesus farking christ, I've had it with this sort of shiat. Maddox agrees.



Screw this Maddox jerk!

Baggin on the Crazy Russian Hacker like that.The Crazy Russian Hacker has some great videos and you can learn some unusual tricks from him. And he is actually funny.

All this Maddox coont does is spew scorn. He's not funny at all. And you learn nothing whatsoever from his video. He's a waste of time.
 
2014-07-15 10:03:36 AM
I read this line:

I was recently in Thailand doing a few weeks of a cooking intensive

And immediately looked around for someone to beat to a bloody pulp.

It's not enough that they started turning nouns into verbs and verbs into nouns.  Now, we're just saying "fark it, any word can be any part of speech because it sounds trendy?"  Damn hipsters and their skinny jeans and liberal approach to written and verbal communication.
 
2014-07-15 01:00:25 PM

tillerman35: It's not enough that they started turning nouns into verbs and verbs into nouns.


You know that nobody 'started' doing that, it has always been a feature of language since pretty much the dawn of time.

Damn near every language has words like fishing and fish. English, the language I assume you prefer, is particularly friendly in this regard and it is perfectly cromulent to do so. Here is a start for you to learn more. If you are going to be a grammar nazi you should at least know wtf you are talking about.  There is literally nothing worse than someone being douchey about details and not knowing their ass from their elbow.

http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/78354/which-nouns-can-be- us ed-as-verbs
 
2014-07-15 01:20:09 PM
FTFA:
'"The peel can contain up to three to four times higher a concentration of fiber as the fruit inside," says Snyder.... By the way, they're also very low in calories, fats, and sugars.'

No foolin'!  Maybe because it's like, ya know, the inedible part that, ya know, ya peel off and throw away?
 
2014-07-15 02:26:35 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.

I was at the deli counter and the woman ahead of me wanted organic ham.  I shiat you not.


people want all kinds of dumb things take me I want organic hookers and blow but can I get them, no :(
 
2014-07-15 06:10:37 PM

gutter_ca/fl: Bonzo_1116: Duane Dibbley: Barfmaker: "Not only are organic foods generally more nutritious since they are usually grown in better quality soil, but they also do not contain pesticides,"

Well that is absolutely not true.

That's where I stopped reading. Because not only does "organic" have precisely fark all to do with soil quality, neither does nutrient level. That's determined by the plant's DNA. The most nutritious produce, therefore, must be GMO crops modified for that purpose. Why won't nutritionists, with all the expertise of their made up qualifications, tell us this?

Crops aren't GMO'd for more nutrition...they get modded for higher yield, pesticide/herbicide resistance, drought tolerance, longer storage for shipping...just about everything but nutrition or flavor.

Golden Rice would like a word.

/but but
//GMOZ ARE THE DEBBILz



Golden Rice is the exception, and it's gov't sponsored.  And as far as I know isn't really getting planted much.
 
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