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(Yahoo)   Do you eat fruit? Much like everything else you do, you're doing it wrong   (yahoo.com) divider line 89
    More: Unlikely, dietary fiber, vitamin A, serotonin, smoothies  
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8011 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2014 at 11:39 PM (7 days ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-14 06:45:40 PM
So it's no longer trendy to worry about pesticides?
 
2014-07-14 06:50:51 PM
Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist

Stopped reading right there
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-07-14 07:48:50 PM

dj_bigbird: Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist

Stopped reading right there


If you can't trust the nutrionist to the starfruit, who can you trust?
 
2014-07-14 07:51:31 PM
"Not only are organic foods generally more nutritious since they are usually grown in better quality soil, but they also do not contain pesticides,"

Well that is absolutely not true.
 
2014-07-14 08:43:16 PM
Wow that's some high quality derp right there.
 
2014-07-14 08:48:52 PM
She looks like she'd eat the peel, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

/that's a degloving accident waiting to happen
//she must have been homeschooled
 
2014-07-14 08:57:17 PM

itcamefromschenectady: So it's no longer trendy to worry about pesticides?


I think they assume you are buying 100% certified organic(with baby kisses)
 
2014-07-14 09:10:18 PM
Are eggs fruit?
 
2014-07-14 09:29:32 PM
Fiber is an important part of the body's process when it comes to cleansing toxins from the body.

First clue you're talking to somebody who doesn't know jackshiat about nutrition: they mention "cleansing toxins from your body."
 
2014-07-14 09:35:26 PM
Chocolate comes from a plant, right? And cocaine?

Keep your apples.
 
2014-07-14 09:46:00 PM
Drink up, Socrates. It's all-natural.
 
2014-07-14 09:48:55 PM
I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.
 
2014-07-14 09:55:45 PM
Have Nutritionists ever been right? About anything?

In the 70's and 80's. The Nutritionists got on the talk shows and published books and decided the enemy of the American diet was FAT in any form.

As a result people stopped eating eggs..and even using good oils like olive oil..because "Fat was bad".

What the nutritionists suggested as a substitutes for butter and other animal oils was

Whipped Margarine that used 'corn oil' instead of that nasty cow fat butter.

A lot of people brought up in the 70's and 80's still think real butter doesn't taste like the 'butter' of the childhood tub of whipped stuff in the fridge.

But the worst thing...was that the whipped butter the Nutritionists recommenced was basically one of the worst things you can eat....Trans Fat.
 
2014-07-14 09:56:53 PM

itcamefromschenectady: So it's no longer trendy to worry about pesticides?


Do you know how I know you DRTFA?
 
2014-07-14 09:58:10 PM
You might not like bananas but you must admit it has a peel.
 
2014-07-14 10:14:01 PM
Is there anything bananas can't do?

Clearly even more proof of the existence of God.   Behold, the perfect fruit.
 
2014-07-14 10:23:59 PM

Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.


I was at the deli counter and the woman ahead of me wanted organic ham.  I shiat you not.
 
2014-07-14 10:25:18 PM

optikeye: But the worst thing...was that the whipped butter the Nutritionists recommenced was basically one of the worst things you can eat....Trans Fat.


You mean the nice people on TV that were hired by food companies to pitch their product?
 
2014-07-14 10:33:42 PM

Marcus Aurelius: optikeye: But the worst thing...was that the whipped butter the Nutritionists recommenced was basically one of the worst things you can eat....Trans Fat.

You mean the nice people on TV that were hired by food companies to pitch their product?


Partly..but even independent Nutritionists wrote and talked about the evils of "Animal Fat". No eggs, no butter, no lard, no bacon.
 
2014-07-14 10:37:32 PM

Kevin72: itcamefromschenectady: So it's no longer trendy to worry about pesticides?

Do you know how I know you DRTFA?


I did RTFA, I swear the part about pesticides wasn't there the first time. When I searched for "pesticides" it appeared, but Chrome kind of barfed and mixed it up with the comments.
 
2014-07-14 10:47:49 PM

optikeye: Have Nutritionists ever been right? About anything?

In the 70's and 80's. The Nutritionists got on the talk shows and published books and decided the enemy of the American diet was FAT in any form.

As a result people stopped eating eggs..and even using good oils like olive oil..because "Fat was bad".

What the nutritionists suggested as a substitutes for butter and other animal oils was

Whipped Margarine that used 'corn oil' instead of that nasty cow fat butter.

A lot of people brought up in the 70's and 80's still think real butter doesn't taste like the 'butter' of the childhood tub of whipped stuff in the fridge.

But the worst thing...was that the whipped butter the Nutritionists recommenced was basically one of the worst things you can eat....Trans Fat.


I just finished my porterhouse drenched in Kerrygold Irish butter. Mmmmm. I'm down almost 80 pounds since November. Sugar was killing me.
 
2014-07-14 10:58:58 PM
I get the maximum vitamins and fiber by taking my fruits rectally.
I'm hoping the Farmer's Market has cherries tomorrow instead of pineapples
Or. Am. I?
 
2014-07-14 11:06:56 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I get the maximum vitamins and fiber by taking my fruits rectally.
I'm hoping the Farmer's Market has cherries tomorrow instead of pineapples
Or. Am. I?


Dion McGregor would agree with you. (NSFW audio)

/background
 
2014-07-14 11:41:39 PM

TuteTibiImperes: She looks like she'd eat the peel, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

/that's a degloving accident waiting to happen
//she must have been homeschooled


Jesus, don't even joke about that kind of degloving accident.

And I don't even have a penis.
 
2014-07-14 11:47:30 PM

dj_bigbird: Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist

Stopped reading right there


i.telegraph.co.uk
"Here's my favorite little fact. If anyone is ever described to you as a nutritionist, just be slightly wary, right? What they're saying may be perfectly true, but "nutritionist" isn't a protected term. Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. "Dietician" is the legally protected term. "Dietician" is like "dentist", and "nutritionist" is like "tooth-i-ologist."
 
2014-07-14 11:48:06 PM
Do you like eating meat?  Of course you do.  So why not take a bunch of animal bones and crush them up in a blender and eat them?  They're low in calories, since they're not farking food at all, and they're full of fiber, since they're not food at all, much as sawdust and bark are high in fiber and low in calories.

Or, why not go out in your backyard and stuff handfulls of dirt in your mouth and eat them, you stupid farking animal?
 
2014-07-14 11:48:11 PM
"cleansing toxins from the body"

I hope she's donating her liver asap, then, since it can be replaced by banana trash.

/FIBER DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. GOOD NIGHT.
 
2014-07-14 11:49:32 PM
"Kimberly Snyder, celebrity nutritionist and author of The Beauty Detox..."

img.4plebs.org
 
2014-07-14 11:50:02 PM
This article made me even more retarded.
 
2014-07-14 11:51:58 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.

I was at the deli counter and the woman ahead of me wanted organic ham.  I shiat you not near her luggage.

 
2014-07-14 11:52:32 PM

optikeye: Have Nutritionists ever been right? About anything?

In the 70's and 80's. The Nutritionists got on the talk shows and published books and decided the enemy of the American diet was FAT in any form.

As a result people stopped eating eggs..and even using good oils like olive oil..because "Fat was bad".

What the nutritionists suggested as a substitutes for butter and other animal oils was

Whipped Margarine that used 'corn oil' instead of that nasty cow fat butter.

A lot of people brought up in the 70's and 80's still think real butter doesn't taste like the 'butter' of the childhood tub of whipped stuff in the fridge.

But the worst thing...was that the whipped butter the Nutritionists recommenced was basically one of the worst things you can eat....Trans Fat.


Just go back 10-20 years from that.

Nutritionists found that you could cure diseases like beri beri, rickets, scurvy etc etc by eating the right food and called these food elements vitamins. That was a huge breakthrough. Just by eating little bits of certain kinds of food or the vitamin in tablet form, diseases could be cured!

On the other side, epidemiologists were able to cure and prevent infectious diseases doing statistical analysis of causes. Get the data on the disease and try to match it up with something else and then you have what's causing the disease.

These methods don't work on over-eating foods type of diseases but that were the most effective tools they had back then before it didn't work.
 
2014-07-14 11:53:06 PM
the only things I don't skin are grapes and taters otherwise skins taste farking gross, knock yourself out.

I don't want to prepare them right either, I don't prepare an orange other than taking off the yucky skin.
 
2014-07-14 11:56:08 PM

Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.


I was at a farmers market looking over a table with ice cream. A woman said, "That ice cream looks really good but what kind of cows do you use for milk? I'm allergic to milk from Holsteins."

I punched her and the people around me cheered.

/ First part of my story is true. Second is not.
// Sadly
 
2014-07-14 11:58:12 PM
I've got a shiny quarter for the next person to post a video of them completely eating a banana peel. Not blended, not a smoothie, just eating the peel.
 
2014-07-14 11:58:44 PM
Does grating the zest of a lime over cheesecake count?
 
2014-07-14 11:59:49 PM
www.avengers.it
 
2014-07-15 12:00:13 AM
We're having a palm tree in our back yard cut down tomorrow. It's very high in fibre. I'm set for life! Seriously, I prefer to drink my fruit. Lime and coconut in my rum is still fruit.
 
2014-07-15 12:01:51 AM

MrBallou: Fiber is an important part of the body's process when it comes to cleansing toxins from the body.

First clue you're talking to somebody who doesn't know jackshiat about nutrition: they mention "cleansing toxins from your body."


toxins?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq1eF6gowSg
 
2014-07-15 12:05:54 AM
I always knew she was eating the banana wrong.
 
2014-07-15 12:15:47 AM

Raider_dad: the only things I don't skin are grapes and taters otherwise skins taste farking gross, knock yourself out.

I don't want to prepare them right either, I don't prepare an orange other than taking off the yucky skin.


How do you skin raisins and dried blueberries?
 
2014-07-15 12:16:13 AM
Goddammit. Why do people believe that a) their body is full of 'toxins' and b) that your body needs your specific help in the form of magical fruits and elixirs?
I swear to god the average human still lives in the dark ages.

/I eat the skin of many fruits
//who can be farked peeling a grape?
 
2014-07-15 12:17:03 AM
That should've read craisins.
 
2014-07-15 12:17:12 AM
So waste all the time scrubbing a half cm of wax off of them or pay 8 times as much at a foodie Wal mart.
 
2014-07-15 12:19:01 AM

Marcus Aurelius: Cake Hunter: I was behind a guy at an airport salad bar and he kept asking the woman behind the counter if the lettuce was organic. Every time she said that it was, he would say "are you suuuure it is?" and would get even more condescending. He did this four or five times. He finally told her he was allergic to non organic lettuce.

I farted near his luggage.

Point: me.

I was at the deli counter and the woman ahead of me wanted organic ham.  I shiat you not.


Well, to be fair, the last time she didn't specify, and they served her a slice of rusty iron covered in salt.  Of course, this time they could have easily served her a ham-shaped piece of plastic. ;)
 
2014-07-15 12:19:36 AM
You know how I know you're not supposed to eat the peel?

/pops
//pops
///pops
 
2014-07-15 12:20:22 AM

sjcousins: Goddammit. Why do people believe that a) their body is full of 'toxins'


Because it's a really easy way to sell crap to impressionable rubes.
 
2014-07-15 12:21:26 AM
Whenever my coworkers said they were going on a 'cleanse' I always thought "Happy shiatting!" with the self induced diarrhea .  When I asked "What toxins?" my question was ignored.  My coworkers were prime examples of why America is fat.  "I can't eat that. I'm on a diet." two days later. "It's okay to cheat if you eat that today and tomorrow!"  Yet when they asked me how I kept my weight off and stayed at a stable weight my "To lose weight there is never 'cheating' just moderation." mantra was ignored. Because your overall diet change was what was an important and met with a "I can't do that! Tee hee! *Scarf an entire cake*"
 
2014-07-15 12:21:38 AM
"Purple's a fruit right?"
 
2014-07-15 12:28:49 AM

LordOfThePings: [www.avengers.it image 350x550]


Dammit, I was gonna eat the Peel

starsmedia.ign.com
 
2014-07-15 12:30:36 AM

sjcousins: Goddammit. Why do people believe that a) their body is full of 'toxins' and b) that your body needs your specific help in the form of magical fruits and elixirs?
I swear to god the average human still lives in the dark ages.

/I eat the skin of many fruits
//who can be farked peeling a grape?


Because it SOUNDS so good and so right. They feel "bad" and their doctor says there's nothing wrong with them (i.e. they're not sick with a disease and they don't have cancer), so they listen to some dipsh*t on TV or read a supermarket takeout magazine and it tells them they feel tired and irritable because of "toxins" or "liver imbalance" or whatever, and if they take this or drink that or peel their fruit or drink 96 ounces of water a day they'll "purge the toxins" and feel better.

And strangely enough, they do! because whatever was intermittently wrong was self-limiting, or genuinely due to a temporary bowel interruption, and they think Aha! I was "toxic" like TV Guru said! and they follow along until the next time they feel "bad" and its on to the next fad fix.

Those of us who eat and exercise in moderation and are aware that sometimes you just feel like crap or have a little diarrhea once in a while don't have these issues; but just try to tell Toxic Tillie at work that. She'll look at you with sympathy and try and convert you to the acai berry colon cleanse.
 
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