If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Star)   It's bad enough your mom was struck by lightning when you were born, but to have a permanent case of bad hair is something else altogether   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 64
    More: Strange  
•       •       •

13468 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2014 at 8:26 PM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



64 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-07-14 06:15:57 PM  
Mom was struck by lightening

Just the tips?
 
2014-07-14 06:36:52 PM  
I thought it was called vitiligo.
 
2014-07-14 08:21:38 PM  
lightning crashes.

a new mother cries.

her placenta falls to the floor.
 
2014-07-14 08:29:05 PM  
"Kimberly is unable to sit up, crawl or digest food because of neurological damage from lightening strike, yet her parents are still so relieved to still have her with them."

So your wife gave birth to a Cabbage Patch doll...?
 
2014-07-14 08:29:13 PM  

phlegmmo: Mom was struck by lightening

Just the tips?


She would have been a brunette otherwise.
 
2014-07-14 08:30:26 PM  
The mother was struck by Michael Jackson?
 
2014-07-14 08:30:57 PM  
She should have sued when the nurse dropped the peroxide bottle on her head
 
2014-07-14 08:31:17 PM  
How is babby charged?
 
2014-07-14 08:32:20 PM  
Harry Potter?
 
2014-07-14 08:33:28 PM  
I'm heeeeereeeeeee....
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-14 08:37:00 PM  

Iczer: "Kimberly is unable to sit up, crawl or digest food because of neurological damage from lightening strike, yet her parents are still so relieved to still have her with them."

So your wife gave birth to a Cabbage Patch doll...?


Pretty much this. As bad as I feel about it, the child looks like a veggie unless another miracle happens. Hope the hair brings in eome bucks for care the rest of her life.
 
2014-07-14 08:39:37 PM  
I was going to say fugly little disgusting brat, but then I realized all I had to say is one word.

British.
 
2014-07-14 08:43:11 PM  
Ugly little cuss.
 
2014-07-14 08:47:34 PM  
Lightning ≠ Lightening if you were confused by the hair color references.
 
2014-07-14 08:51:24 PM  
"Everybody we've seen says it's a miracle she's alive."
"Somebody's definitely watching out for us."

Eyes rolling..  so hard..  they went a full 360'.


If "someone" was really watching out for you,  you wouldn't have been zapped by lightning to begin with.

/Your god is a dick!
 
2014-07-14 08:51:43 PM  
Donald Barthelme approves.
 
2014-07-14 08:53:19 PM  
If she can't digest food, how is she living?
 
2014-07-14 08:53:43 PM  

calbert: lightning crashes.

a new mother cries.

her placenta falls to the floor.


roflmao
That....is just perfect.
Should have been the headline.
/haven't heard that song in years
 
2014-07-14 08:54:19 PM  
Ok, so the kid's hair might be messy when they don't comb it, but it is definitely not true that she has permanent static hair.  Electricity doesn't work that way.
 
2014-07-14 08:54:21 PM  
I submitted this with a much worse headline.
 
2014-07-14 08:57:46 PM  

upload.wikimedia.org


Unavailable for comment

 
2014-07-14 09:01:23 PM  
skinbleaching-cream.com

Lightening: make or become lighter, e.g. lightening cream makes your skin appear a lighter shade.

Lightning: it happens so fast, it doesn't have time to stick around for extraneous 'e's.
 
2014-07-14 09:02:27 PM  

phlegmmo: Mom was struck by lightening

Just the tips?


And we're done.
 
2014-07-14 09:03:27 PM  

iwantamonkey: skinbleaching-cream.com


People got a right to mess with their appearance all they want, but it is seriously farked up that they would want to do that in particular.
 
2014-07-14 09:08:20 PM  
Is this some hippie term for taking a dump?
 
2014-07-14 09:09:17 PM  
fark you, England.
 
2014-07-14 09:10:42 PM  
Huh, lightning (and lightening) causes ugliness.  Who knew?
 
2014-07-14 09:11:23 PM  

phlegmmo: Mom was struck by lightening

Just the tips?


I figured she got surprise, drive by lipo-suction.
 
2014-07-14 09:14:26 PM  
Yup, I get all my electronatology news from an e-rag that can't be arsed to spell-check their own headlines.
 
2014-07-14 09:15:03 PM  
Mother struck by lightning when you're born?

static.comicvine.com
 
2014-07-14 09:20:44 PM  

calbert: lightning crashes.

a new mother cries.

her placenta falls to the floor.



Glad to see im not the only who remembers live.
 
2014-07-14 09:24:11 PM  
This explains the strange uniform of the Flying Nun Corps -- the strange hat and the fact you can fly distracts from the really bad hair.

www.joelbieber.com
 
2014-07-14 09:28:54 PM  
www.movieposter.com
 
2014-07-14 09:32:32 PM  
www.chronicle.su
 
2014-07-14 09:35:44 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: iwantamonkey: skinbleaching-cream.com

People got a right to mess with their appearance all they want, but it is seriously farked up that they would want to do that in particular.


Hey, I have problems with black women straightening their hair. It feels much better to me when it's left natural -- processed hair feels wiry and stiff -- and in my opinion it shows more self respect. And it looks better natural. But then I'm a white guy who grew up in the Black Is Beautiful days and who learned to dance from Soul Train. And I thought of Angela Davis as a revolutionary hero, unlike e.g. Patty Hearst.

There's nothing wrong with being of predominantly sub-Saharan descent. Right?

* * *

Iczer: "Kimberly is unable to sit up, crawl or digest food because of neurological damage from lightening strike, yet her parents are still so relieved to still have her with them."

So your wife gave birth to a Cabbage Patch doll...?


Can't even digest food? Can anyone recover from that much neurological damage?1

OTOH the kid looks tasty. What's so wrong with cannibalism?2


1 Serious question.

2 Possibly trolling. Possibly.

* * *


calbert: lightning crashes.

a new mother cries.

her placenta falls to the floor.



No no no. Try this:


A strike of lightning.
Placenta too energized.
Oddly imbalanced.

Or maybe:

Too much energy
On a fetus at one time
Makes for too much blond.


(I got your "wet black bough" right here.)
 
2014-07-14 09:42:01 PM  
Gee, Ricky...
 
2014-07-14 09:49:25 PM  

baronbloodbath: Mother struck by lightning when you're born?


This could be a superhero origin story:

"While still in the womb, baby Kimberly was struck by lightning, it was then as a small child she realized she was special, able to manipulate electronics with her mind, shoot electricity from her mega charged hair!

She would become Britain's greatest hero... THE ELECTRIC POTATO!"
 
2014-07-14 09:53:23 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: How is babby charged?


Rapidly.
 
2014-07-14 09:59:16 PM  
S-s-s-si-si-six
 
2014-07-14 09:59:58 PM  
Approves:

www.globalsecurity.org
 
2014-07-14 10:02:00 PM  
This is Michael Jackson was formed.
 
2014-07-14 10:06:19 PM  
FTFA: "Dad Ian, who has nicknamed Kimberly 'Flash Gordon'"

Nobody is going to have fun with this immobile fugly vegetable being nicknamed after the nemesis of Ming the Merciless?

I am disappoint.
 
2014-07-14 10:06:22 PM  

Boo_Guy: "Everybody we've seen says it's a miracle she's alive."
"Somebody's definitely watching out for us."

Eyes rolling..  so hard..  they went a full 360'.


If "someone" was really watching out for you,  you wouldn't have been zapped by lightning to begin with.

/Your god is a dick!


came to say this, leaving satisfied it was already covered.
 
2014-07-14 10:17:47 PM  

Boo_Guy: "Everybody we've seen says it's a miracle she's alive."  "Somebody's definitely watching out for us."

Eyes rolling..  so hard..  they went a full 360'. If "someone" was really watching out for you,  you wouldn't have been zapped by lightning to begin with.



No kidding.  When people say stuff like that, it just seems as if they are in denial.

Giving birth to a child with severe neurological disorders who will probably require a lifetime of personalized care is not what I'd call a miracle.
 
2014-07-14 10:23:52 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: iwantamonkey: skinbleaching-cream.com

People got a right to mess with their appearance all they want, but it is seriously farked up that they would want to do that in particular.


http://m.theatlantic.com/technology/a rchive/2014/06/these-photoshops- o f-the-same-women-suggest-beauty-standa rds-around-the-world/373528/

/Beauty is as (the locally-defined standard of) beauty does, sir...
 
2014-07-14 11:03:33 PM  

Khazar-Khum: If she can't digest food, how is she living?


Tube feed. Doesn't require much processing. But I have a feeling they meant that the nerves controlling part of her digestive system are damaged so maybe she cannot handle solids or swallow well or has no peristalsis rather than a complete lack of digestive enzymes etc.
 
2014-07-14 11:23:24 PM  

Boo_Guy: "Everybody we've seen says it's a miracle she's alive."
"Somebody's definitely watching out for us."

Eyes rolling..  so hard..  they went a full 360'.


If "someone" was really watching out for you,  you wouldn't have been zapped by lightning to begin with.

/Your god is a dick!


God only does good things. Bad things are done by terrorists or Obama.

/but which one in this case?
 
2014-07-14 11:24:01 PM  

Abaddon The Despoiler: FTFA: "Dad Ian, who has nicknamed Kimberly 'Flash Gordon'"

Nobody is going to have fun with this immobile fugly vegetable being nicknamed after the nemesis of Ming Mong the Merciless?

I am disappoint.


FTFY

/Going straight to hell
 
2014-07-14 11:27:49 PM  

Abaddon The Despoiler: I was going to say fugly little disgusting brat, but then I realized all I had to say is one word.

British.


Actually, from the local TV station call sign on the corner, I'm guessing http://www.koat.com/news Albuquerque
 
2014-07-14 11:29:37 PM  
"a permanent case of bad hair"
 
Displayed 50 of 64 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report