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(Slate)   Cheever? O'Connor? O'Henry? Poe? Chekhov? Yeah, you guys wrote some good words, and I'ma let you finish, but Rudyard Kipling wrote the greatest short story OF ALL TIME   (slate.com) divider line 126
    More: Unlikely, Rudyard Kipling, Jack Black, Haverhill  
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7454 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2014 at 4:20 PM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



126 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-14 12:30:49 PM  
Not a sparkling career, but Cheever did win the Indy 500 once
 
2014-07-14 04:22:37 PM  
He may have wrote the best words, but he couldn't pronounce it wery well.

fc03.deviantart.net
 
2014-07-14 04:24:38 PM  
 
2014-07-14 04:27:51 PM  
If TV has taught me anything, and it has, it that Cheever wrote some pretty saucy letters.

onehundredonebooks.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-07-14 04:28:05 PM  
Rikki Tikki Tavi?

YESSSS
 
2014-07-14 04:29:31 PM  
Ohh! somebody had an opinion,

lets discuss
 
2014-07-14 04:30:07 PM  

Molniya: For sale: baby shoes, never worn


Well, that's the thread. Thanks, everyone, for stopping by.
 
2014-07-14 04:30:50 PM  
See Spot run.
 
2014-07-14 04:31:27 PM  

Finger51: If TV has taught me anything, and it has, it that Cheever wrote some pretty saucy letters.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PjKpPerVuU0
 
2014-07-14 04:31:27 PM  
I just found out a year or two ago that Kipling wrote sci-fi and fantasy short stories.  they collected them in a book that i havent bought yet but intend to (or borrow if my friend will ever loan it to me).  i'd forgotten about it til this article came up.
 
2014-07-14 04:31:32 PM  
Unlikely tag?
You shet yer whore mouf.
 
2014-07-14 04:31:34 PM  
That's not even the best Kipling short story. Phantom Rickshaw gest it, or if you consider The Man Who Would Be King a short story, that one is better still.
 
2014-07-14 04:31:36 PM  
Rikki Tikki Tavi?  Goddamn right it is.

31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-14 04:33:21 PM  
There's no accounting for taste.
 
2014-07-14 04:33:42 PM  
Well, they only listed Cheever first because he's a local legend --

ts1.mm.bing.net
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-07-14 04:34:01 PM  
Ambrose Bierce wants a word with subby on a bridge in Alabama.
 
2014-07-14 04:34:11 PM  

Molniya: For sale: baby shoes, never worn


Came for this, leaving satisfied.

/fewer words seldom say so much
//is it dusty in here or just me?
 
2014-07-14 04:36:58 PM  
Has "A Good Man is Hard to Find" been erased from existence or something?
 
2014-07-14 04:37:14 PM  

Molniya: For sale: baby shoes, never worn


You took the words right out of my mouth!
 
2014-07-14 04:37:41 PM  
www.imaginativeuniversal.com
 
2014-07-14 04:37:47 PM  

Argonreality: Molniya: For sale: baby shoes, never worn

Came for this, leaving satisfied.

/fewer words seldom say so much
//is it dusty in here or just me?


Craiglist ad - For sale: adult diapers, partially used.
 
2014-07-14 04:38:05 PM  
Subby's never been to Hadleyburg, or talked with an angel named Satan.
 
2014-07-14 04:38:14 PM  

Molniya: For sale: baby shoes, never worn


came for it...leave happy
 
2014-07-14 04:40:22 PM  
"O'Henry" ? Is that O. Henry's Irish cousin?
 
2014-07-14 04:42:14 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: "O'Henry" ? Is that O. Henry's Irish cousin?


It's the Clark Bar's seldom talked about bastard.
 
2014-07-14 04:44:14 PM  

dj_spanmaster: Rikki Tikki Tavi?

YESSSS


WOOT!! I love that story.
 
2014-07-14 04:44:46 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: "O'Henry" ? Is that O. Henry's Irish cousin?


Yup. Like Jock O'Metty, the Scottish/Irish/Italian sculptor.
 
2014-07-14 04:44:50 PM  
Once upon a time, they lived happily ever after.  The end.
 
2014-07-14 04:45:19 PM  
I know I am a commoner, but the short story that stood the test of time is The Monkey, buy Steven King.

Every time I find out about two people dying (you know, they always die in 3's)  I always think to myself "ching ching ching, who's next?  Dad?  Mom? Is it you?"
 
2014-07-14 04:45:38 PM  
I did. The end.
 
2014-07-14 04:47:25 PM  
I always kind of liked this one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cold_Equations
 
2014-07-14 04:48:03 PM  

Frank N Stein: if you consider The Man Who Would Be King a short story, that one is better still.


This is exactly correct. If it were a short story. Which it's not
 
2014-07-14 04:49:37 PM  
Make no truce with Adam Zaad the bear.
 
2014-07-14 04:49:56 PM  
He's like the snake to my mongoose. Or the mongoose to my snake - I don't know.

thusspokedingle.files.wordpress.com

worlddan: [www.imaginativeuniversal.com image 300x477]


-Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlett?
-Sure, I'll eat anything.
 
2014-07-14 04:49:57 PM  
I'mma let you finish but "A Good Man is Hard to Find" is the greatest short story of all time

/or maybe the one where a bible salesman jacks up a mentally handicapped girl's fake leg
 
2014-07-14 04:49:59 PM  
I just reread it for the first time in 25 years. Seems even better now.
 
2014-07-14 04:50:16 PM  
My next work of fiction: Nope
 
2014-07-14 04:50:54 PM  
What the moral? Who rides may read.
When the night is thick and the tracks are blind
A friend at a pinch is a friend, indeed,
But a fool to wait for the laggard behind.
Down to Gehenna or up to the Throne,
He travels the fastest who travels alone.

White hands cling to the tightened rein,
Slipping the spur from the booted heel,
Tenderest voices cry "Turn again!"
Red lips tarnish the scabbarded steel,
High hopes faint on a warm hearth-stone--
He travels the fastest who travels alone.

One may fall but he falls by himself--
Falls by himself with himself to blame.
One may attain and to him is pelf--
Loot of the city in Gold or Fame.
Plunder of earth shall be all his own
Who travels the fastest and travels alone.

Wherefore the more ye be helpen-en and stayed,
Stayed by a friend in the hour of toil,
Sing the heretical song I have made--
His be the labour and yours be the spoil.
Win by his aid and the aid disown--
He travels the fastest who travels alone!



Always fun to hear Bob Weir perform this.  He usually introduces it via "this next one is from the pen of the poet Rudyard Kipling", but the last time I heard it, he introduced it something like "this one is about a hundred years old", without the "from the pen of the poet Rudyard Kipling."
 
2014-07-14 04:52:29 PM  
I had to look up the "definition" of a short story, as opposed to a novella or novelette.

Wikipedia defines them as:

Novel - over 40,000 words
Novella - 17,500 to 40,000 words
Novelette - 7,500 to 17,500 words
Short story - under 7,500 words

So at 5896 words,Rikki Tikki Tavi is indeed a short story. Not my favorite, but it qualifies.


The best short book I ever read was "Breakfast at Tiffany's".At  26,433 words, it's a novella. Thing is, I can't really tell what it is that I liked about it so much. Forget the movie; there is no glossy Moon River ending to Capote's original. It wasn't the plot that grabbed me, really. It was his descriptions, not just of places but of events and especially of people. All I know is that I read it a second time that afternoon.
 
2014-07-14 04:52:41 PM  
Aw stuff your mongoose fairytale, you know which is the best.

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-14 04:52:58 PM  
Who's the shortest, best story writer? Or, who's the shortest short story writer?
 
2014-07-14 04:54:05 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: Frank N Stein: if you consider The Man Who Would Be King a short story, that one is better still.

This is exactly correct. If it were a short story. Which it's not


God's trousers!

Damn I read the book and was sure that was the line, but then I googled it to be sure and apparently the film says "God's holy trousers!", but I'm not sure. If I was god I'd be able to repair holes in my trousers before anyone noticed and turned it into a saying.

Then again the film has the best line and it's not in the book, as far as my alcohol smothered brain can remember.

"He wants to know if you are gods?"
"Not gods, Englishmen... the next best thing!"
 
2014-07-14 04:54:32 PM  
I guessed Rikki-Tikki-Tavi before clicking. I have not read it since I was 5 or 6 but I still recall it very fondly.
 
2014-07-14 04:54:33 PM  
The Sing-Song of Old Man Kangaroo:

NOT always was the Kangaroo as now we do behold him, but a Different Animal with four short legs. He was grey and he was woolly, and his pride was inordinate: he danced on an outcrop in the middle of Australia, and he went to the Little God Nqa.
He went to Nqa at six before breakfast, saying, 'Make me different from all other animals by five this afternoon.'
Up jumped Nqa from his seat on the sandflat and shouted, 'Go away!'
He was grey and he was woolly, and his pride was inordinate: he danced on a rock-ledge in the middle of Australia, and he went to the Middle God Nquing.
He went to Nquing at eight after breakfast, saying, ' Make me different from all other animals; make me, also, wonderfully popular by five this afternoon.'
Up jumped Nquing from his burrow in the spinifex and shouted, 'Go away!'
He was grey and he was woolly, and his pride was inordinate: he danced on a sandbank in the middle of Australia, and he went to the Big God Nqong.
He went to Nqong at ten before dinner-time, saying, 'Make me different from all other animals; make me popular and wonderfully run after by five this afternoon.'
Up jumped Nqong from his bath in the salt-pan and shouted, 'Yes, I will!'
Nqong called Dingo-Yellow-Dog Dingo-always hungry, dusty in the sunshine, and showed him Kangaroo. Nqong said, 'Dingo! Wake up, Dingo! Do you see that gentleman dancing on an ashpit? He wants to be popular and very truly run after. Dingo, make him SO!'
Up jumped Dingo-Yellow-Dog Dingo-and said, 'What, that cat-rabbit?'
Off ran Dingo-Yellow-Dog Dingo-always hungry, grinning like a coal-scuttle,-ran after Kangaroo.
Off went the proud Kangaroo on his four little legs like a bunny.
This, O Beloved of mine, ends the first part of the tale!
He ran through the desert; he ran through the mountains; he ran through the salt-pans; he ran through the reed-beds; he ran through the blue gums; he ran through the spinifex; he ran till his front legs ached.
He had to!
Still ran Dingo-Yellow-Dog Dingo-always hungry, grinning like a rat-trap, never getting nearer, never getting farther,-ran after Kangaroo.
He had to!
Still ran Kangaroo-Old Man Kangaroo. He ran through the ti-trees; he ran through the mulga; he ran through the long grass; he ran through the short grass; he ran through the Tropics of Capricorn and Cancer; he ran till his hind legs ached.
He had to!
Still ran Dingo-Yellow-Dog Dingo-hungrier and hungrier, grinning like a horse-collar, never getting nearer, never getting farther; and they came to the Wollgong River.

Now, there wasn't any bridge, and there wasn't any ferry-boat, and Kangaroo didn't know how to get over; so he stood on his legs and hopped.
He had to!
He hopped through the Flinders; he hopped through the Cinders; he hopped through the deserts in the middle of Australia. He hopped like a Kangaroo.
First he hopped one yard; then he hopped three yards; then he hopped five yards; his legs growing stronger; his legs growing longer. He hadn't any time for rest or refreshment, and he wanted them very much.
Still ran Dingo-Yellow-Dog Dingo-very much bewildered, very much hungry, and wondering what in the world or out of it made Old Man Kangaroo hop.
For he hopped like a cricket; like a pea in a saucepan; or a new rubber ball on a nursery floor.
He had to!
He tucked up his front legs; he hopped on his hind legs; he stuck out his tail for a balance-weight behind him; and he hopped through the Darling Downs.
He had to!
Still ran Dingo-Tired-Dog Dingo-hungrier and hungrier, very much bewildered, and wondering when in the world or out of it would Old Man Kangaroo stop.
Then came Nqong from his bath in the salt-pans, and said, 'It's five o'clock.'
Down sat Dingo-Poor Dog Dingo-always hungry, dusky in the sunshine; hung out his tongue and howled.
Down sat Kangaroo-Old Man Kangaroo-stuck out his tail like a milking-stool behind him, and said, 'Thank goodness that's finished!'
Then said Nqong, who is always a gentleman, 'Why aren't you grateful to Yellow-Dog Dingo? Why don't you thank him for all he has done for you?'
Then said Kangaroo-Tired Old Kangaroo-He's chased me out of the homes of my childhood; he's chased me out of my regular meal-times; he's altered my shape so I'll never get it back; and he's played Old Scratch with my legs.'
Then said Nqong, 'Perhaps I'm mistaken, but didn't you ask me to make you different from all other animals, as well as to make you very truly sought after? And now it is five o'clock.'
'Yes,' said Kangaroo. 'I wish that I hadn't. I thought you would do it by charms and incantations, but this is a practical joke.'
'Joke!' said Nqong from his bath in the blue gums. 'Say that again and I'll whistle up Dingo and run your hind legs off.'
'No,' said the Kangaroo. 'I must apologise. Legs are legs, and you needn't alter 'em so far as I am concerned. I only meant to explain to Your Lordliness that I've had nothing to eat since morning, and I'm very empty indeed.'
'Yes,' said Dingo-Yellow-Dog Dingo,-'I am just in the same situation. I've made him different from all other animals; but what may I have for my tea?'
Then said Nqong from his bath in the salt-pan, 'Come and ask me about it tomorrow, because I'm going to wash.'
So they were left in the middle of Australia, Old Man Kangaroo and Yellow-Dog Dingo, and each said, 'That's your fault.'
 
2014-07-14 04:55:03 PM  
Sredni Vashtar, by H.H. Munro (Saki):

http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/vashtar.html
 
2014-07-14 04:55:38 PM  

ZAZ: Ambrose Bierce wants a word with subby on a bridge in Alabama.


He ripped that off from M. Night Shyamalan.
 
2014-07-14 04:55:55 PM  
While I dearly love Kipling, and I grant you that Rikki Tikki Tavi is indeed a fantastic story, I gotta say that the author of this article could possibly be the most pretentious prick to ever force electrons to carry his humblebragging feeble dig-me-I-know-words thoughts to an unsuspecting populace. Fark him with a cobra.
 
2014-07-14 04:56:48 PM  

Finger51: If TV has taught me anything, and it has, it that Cheever wrote some pretty saucy letters.

[onehundredonebooks.files.wordpress.com image 650x355]


media.tumblr.com

/first thing I thought of
 
2014-07-14 04:57:28 PM  

colinspooky: Not a sparkling career, but Cheever did win the Indy 500 once


i1207.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-14 04:59:40 PM  

Molniya: For sale: baby shoes, never worn


OOOOOh yeah ?


4sale baby shoes  nvrworn

/ so there
 
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