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(NASCAR)   Good news: We have mercifully made it to the end of TNT's Sprint Cup coverage. Bad news: Kyle Busch and Jimmie Johnson are your front row starters. It's the Camping World RV 301, live at 1pm ET on LOLTNT   (nascar.com) divider line 516
    More: Amusing  
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143 clicks; posted to Sports » on 13 Jul 2014 at 12:30 PM (10 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-13 01:17:33 AM

SOMEONE SAY TNT?



4.bp.blogspot.com



HAVE YOU NOT BEEN COMMERCIALLY SPORTS ENTERTAINED?



sportsrants.com

And now its time for...

Your weekly NASFARK checklist! Ever changing and updated on the fly, just like Your weekly NASFARK checklist!  Ever changing and updated on the fly, just like the NASCAR rulebook the NASCAR rulebook.




(Created by  DanZero &  bluorangefyre, with contributions from Professor Farksworth, QueenMamaBee, Mzltplx,and a bunch of other Fark racing fans!)



1) Every 25th post is "DANICA," every 500th post is "CHECKERED FLAG!" and every 1,100th post is, "Screw the gredunza, I just did the double!"
2) Somebody asking "ARE YOU NOT SPORTS ENTERTAINED?" before the 10th post
3) Somebody comes in with a humorous "left/right turn/going in circles" comment
4) BOOGITY in some form when race starts
5) Idols/Buddhas/Transformers/Reactors being fired up
6) Complaints about LOLTNT & ESPN race coverage (or if in TNT/ESPN coverage, how bad it is and how we pine for FOX again) ONLY VALID FOR 2014!
7) While we were away!
8) Green flag pit stops
9) The inevitable race commentator foul up
10) Phantom cautions
11) "Austin Dillon driving car number three... the number made famous by the late/great Dale Earnhardt."
12) MLP deployment ONLY in the following instances: sad Rainbow Dash when Princess Crumplefenders (AKA Danica) inevitably wrecks, happy Rainbow Dash if she's running in the top 20, charging Rainbow Dash if she's in the top 10, Nightmare Moon if we need some extra mojo to help the idols and Buddhas defeat car #48
13) Complaints and such if Jimmie Johnson wins again and celebrations from his fan(s)
14) Race is official when Kvapil, Reutimann, Wise or Danica bring out the caution (can be more than one)
15) BONUS OFFICIAL RACE: Mikey brings out the yellow
16) Something to do with potato salad and/or sugar free gummi bears
17) SPECIAL BONUS: One of us is actually at the track
18) Something not meant to catch fire does
19) We are reminded about how a track is famous for The Big One/Darlington Stripe/Eating tires/Fuel Mileage races.
20) "Because #3 car"
21) Race is boring... what are you drinking?
22) "Lord baby Jesus, smite Logano's engine!"
23) Somebody asking why they don't run in the rain followed by a quick explaination why its not a good idea
24) Idol collateral damage warning
25) DanZero's commercial/side-by-side recap from last week and running throughout the thread
26)  LOLTNT glitch!
 
2014-07-13 01:19:37 AM
NASFARK TWITTER LIST!(Updated 6/1/2014)

bluorangefyre - @bluorangefyre
QueenMamaBee - @KyJockeyLuvr
Mztlplx - @tinfoil_fedora
Professor Farksworth - @TDA_wooo
Foaming - @EvanOlson
Gonz - @Ben_Deckos
radiofreewill - @insert_funny

Follow us and add your name to this list!
 
2014-07-13 02:24:15 AM
JIMMIEWINSLOL
 
2014-07-13 09:43:32 AM
Anyone expecting a teary-eyed TNT staff in the broadcast booth after the end of the race today? We sure won't be sad, that's for Anyone expecting a teary-eyed TNT staff in the broadcast booth after the end of the race today?
 
2014-07-13 09:55:04 AM
That starting lineup only looks half-bad to me...
 
2014-07-13 11:38:42 AM

DanZero: Anyone expecting a teary-eyed TNT staff in the broadcast booth after the end of the race today? We sure won't be sad, that's for Anyone expecting a teary-eyed TNT staff in the broadcast booth after the end of the race today?


Today's guest race announcer:

laurelrusswurm.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-07-13 12:24:06 PM
Funny thing, fate. You never know how cool things can turn out after so much crap. I scored a couple of promo tickets for today. Cool. I found out it may well be Jeff Burton's last race as I entered the gate. Bittersweet, but cooler. Then I found my seat. Directly across from Jeff's pit box. COOLEST!

damn dust.....
 
2014-07-13 12:30:05 PM

turbokat: Funny thing, fate. You never know how cool things can turn out after so much crap. I scored a couple of promo tickets for today. Cool. I found out it may well be Jeff Burton's last race as I entered the gate. Bittersweet, but cooler. Then I found my seat. Directly across from Jeff's pit box. COOLEST!

damn dust.....


I read that as, "ZOMG TURBOKAT IS AT NEW HAMPSHIRE!!!11!!!ONE!"

Please tell me your idol is still operational and with you today?
 
2014-07-13 12:32:01 PM

bluorangefyre: Please tell me your idol is still operational and with you today?


If it is we will have pinpoint accuracy, which is good. We should try to avoid collateral damage whenever possible.
 
2014-07-13 12:32:03 PM

FINAL RACE ON TNT


i.imgur.com

 
2014-07-13 12:34:37 PM
Please make sure all idols are ready to take out Jimmie.

I'm working with my assistant manager today and she is a JJ fan so I want to laugh when Jimmie wrecks.
 
2014-07-13 12:36:18 PM
Great, they are already blaming the tires, this race is going to suck, except when JJ blows a tire that will rule.
 
2014-07-13 12:41:30 PM
Okay so what's the deal with this Race Team Association thing?

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
 
2014-07-13 12:41:35 PM

Tom_Slick: FINAL RACE ON TNT
[i.imgur.com image 500x275]

media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-13 12:44:06 PM

bluorangefyre: turbokat: Funny thing, fate. You never know how cool things can turn out after so much crap. I scored a couple of promo tickets for today. Cool. I found out it may well be Jeff Burton's last race as I entered the gate. Bittersweet, but cooler. Then I found my seat. Directly across from Jeff's pit box. COOLEST!

damn dust.....

I read that as, "ZOMG TURBOKAT IS AT NEW HAMPSHIRE!!!11!!!ONE!"

Please tell me your idol is still operational and with you today?


The idol and I are one.

RESISTANCE IS ALL FUTILE AND shiatE!
 
2014-07-13 12:46:13 PM
Go A-Bow! (holder of a Top 15 finish!)
Go RyTru!
Get Cole Whitt it!
Have a Bliss-ful day!

that's right.. all FOUR Horsemen of BKR are on the track today.. plus.. Morgan Shepherd somehow qualified.
 
2014-07-13 12:46:35 PM

turbokat: Funny thing, fate. You never know how cool things can turn out after so much crap. I scored a couple of promo tickets for today. Cool. I found out it may well be Jeff Burton's last race as I entered the gate. Bittersweet, but cooler. Then I found my seat. Directly across from Jeff's pit box. COOLEST!

damn dust.....


Awww Burton's last race possibly? That's sad. :( I like him!

I couldn't hate him even after he took out Gordon under caution during a Texas race because the shoving match that happened afterwards was so hilarious that it made great entertainment lol.
 
2014-07-13 12:48:38 PM

Professor Farksworth: Okay so what's the deal with this Race Team Association thing?

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?


It's about the teams wanting a bigger cut of the $8 billion TV deal. Money is the root of all evil.
 
2014-07-13 12:50:04 PM
Joey's left-handed?

That's sinister.
 
2014-07-13 12:51:59 PM

good_2_go: Professor Farksworth: Okay so what's the deal with this Race Team Association thing?

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

It's about the teams wanting a bigger cut of the $8 billion TV deal. Money is the root of all evil.


This might be NASCAR's Concorde moment...
 
2014-07-13 12:51:59 PM

Professor Farksworth: Okay so what's the deal with this Race Team Association thing?

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?


Don't know yet. Could be insane. Could be nothing.

Beautiful day at this track. Gotta read the thread to follow the cup race.
 
2014-07-13 12:53:35 PM
And there's a massive thunderstorm going on outside. Power hasn't flickered yet, but it's getting loud out there.
 
2014-07-13 12:58:40 PM
And now the announcers tug at our heartstrings, trying to make us feel like NASCAR leaving t=TNT is a bittersweet moment. They apparently don't realize that we have been awaiting this moment for a long, long time.

Buh-bye, TNT. You won't be m*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZuh-bye, TNT. You won't be missed.
 
2014-07-13 12:59:48 PM
@NascarMemes

"I'm done on TNT, so f*ck it," -@LarryMac28

pbs.twimg.com
 
2014-07-13 01:01:04 PM
looks cloudy. hope it doesn't rain
 
2014-07-13 01:01:35 PM
Oh say can you see

boobs flapping in the breeze
 
2014-07-13 01:02:08 PM
Hello NASFARK (and TK! LTNS!)....
 
2014-07-13 01:02:28 PM
I really like it when they keep it short and sweet.
 
2014-07-13 01:03:14 PM
Well, she's pretty hot. I'd hit it. And she almost made it the whole way playing it straight. In other words, that was most decidedly NOT a TNT-caliber National Anthem.
 
2014-07-13 01:03:51 PM

The Bestest: Go A-Bow! (holder of a Top 15 finish!)
Go RyTru!
Get Cole Whitt it!
Have a Bliss-ful day!

that's right.. all FOUR Horsemen of BKR are on the track today.. plus.. Morgan Shepherd somehow qualified.


Only because a 44th entry backed out at the last minute.
 
2014-07-13 01:04:34 PM
S-apostrophe- SHUT THE HELL UP
 
2014-07-13 01:05:24 PM
I told a co-worker that I wouldn't be surprised if the final four at Homestead were Almirola, Dillon, Earnhardt, and HWSNBN.  It'd be fantastic sports entertainment.
 
2014-07-13 01:05:28 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Well, she's pretty hot. I'd hit it. And she almost made it the whole way playing it straight. In other words, that was most decidedly NOT a TNT-caliber National Anthem.


yeah. On TNT I thought they had a rule that all good performers had to be backed up by banjos and kazoos.
 
2014-07-13 01:06:15 PM
By the way guys, I made a badge for last weekend's race if you want it.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-13 01:06:44 PM
TNT last had good coverage with Bill Weber and Benny Parsons in the booth.
 
2014-07-13 01:07:24 PM
So most of the coverage is going to revolve around Turner's history in covering NASCAR followed by commercial breaks and racing in that order?

Please NBC do not hire any of these retards...
 
2014-07-13 01:07:38 PM

Obscene_CNN: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Well, she's pretty hot. I'd hit it. And she almost made it the whole way playing it straight. In other words, that was most decidedly NOT a TNT-caliber National Anthem.

yeah. On TNT I thought they had a rule that all good performers had to be backed up by banjos and kazoos.


You got something against banjos?

2.5 hours until beer o'clock.
 
2014-07-13 01:07:55 PM
@nateryan
Temperature falling, skies darkening at New Hampshire. Because nascar 2014.
 
2014-07-13 01:07:57 PM
There're only two tracks where track position ISN'T king, Kyle,
 
2014-07-13 01:08:31 PM
I'm still stuck at the library while Lil Bee is looking for books. Sigh. Was hoping to get home for boogities
 
2014-07-13 01:08:31 PM
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-13 01:08:35 PM
Okay, let me be the one to say it:

Turner has been huge for NASCAR. For 9/10 of their run they were a huge asset to NASCAR. I still remember watching those TBS races back in the 90s back when it was channel hopping almost every week from the big 4 broadcast channels to cable, to UHF channels.

They ran NASCAR.com through the early 2000s, and it was actually a surprisingly well done sports site for the time. There was even criticism of NASCAR decisions by the writers at the time, and tongue-in-cheek humor. Eventually they handed it off to NASCAR itself, and I can't stand to visit that farking slow loading, horribly designed, corporate-talking-points filled mess.

TNT wasn't that bad either. Back when you had Benny Parsons there, they actually seemed enthusiastic to be broadcasting a NASCAR race.

It was only these past few years that they went down hill and sought to seek the race to the bottom.

I know we'll all say "good riddance" when they're done at the end of the day, but I'm not convinced the new higher-paying TV contracts with sagging ratings won't just make things worse. Plus we're already getting a few classic self-deprecating jokes. Of course, I'm sure they'll still botch the race coverage, but still...
 
2014-07-13 01:09:15 PM
Professor Farksworth Idol initalizing...

Targeting #48 Lowe's Chevrolet...

Locking on coordinates 43.3623° N, 71.4612° W...

IDOL!

uproxx.files.wordpress.com

CRRRUUUSH!!
 
2014-07-13 01:09:20 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  NOT KEN SQUIER!!!
 
2014-07-13 01:09:46 PM

Professor Farksworth: By the way guys, I made a badge for last weekend's race if you want it.


Oooh I want that. Can't wait to get home :)
 
2014-07-13 01:10:51 PM
:: raises graphite matrix slowly from cobalt-60 pebble bed...begins strontium-90 injection sequence...opens deuterium coolant valves and starts pumps..puts on stained and tattered lab kimono and ties hakimachi and senninburi tighttight ::

Tiny Buddha is now online.

i750.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-13 01:11:15 PM

turbokat: Funny thing, fate. You never know how cool things can turn out after so much crap. I scored a couple of promo tickets for today. Cool. I found out it may well be Jeff Burton's last race as I entered the gate. Bittersweet, but cooler. Then I found my seat. Directly across from Jeff's pit box. COOLEST!

damn dust.....


Enjoy... karma finally smiling upon you a bit.

'Bout ×'%%^÷ time.
 
2014-07-13 01:11:40 PM

Jensaarai: I know we'll all say "good riddance" when they're done at the end of the day, but I'm not convinced the new higher-paying TV contracts with sagging ratings won't just make things worse. Plus we're already getting a few classic self-deprecating jokes. Of course, I'm sure they'll still botch the race coverage, but still...


Will Fox and NBC coverage be perfect? No.

Will Fox and NBC coverage because NASCAR's product? Yes.

Will Fox and NBC coverage suck less than TNT/ESPN? Absolutely.
 
2014-07-13 01:11:49 PM

Jensaarai: They ran NASCAR.com through the early 2000s, and it was actually a surprisingly well done sports site for the time. There was even criticism of NASCAR decisions by the writers at the time, and tongue-in-cheek humor. Eventually they handed it off to NASCAR itself, and I can't stand to visit that farking slow loading, horribly designed, corporate-talking-points filled mess.


Was about to mention this.. they did a very good job on NASCAR.com until the Frances decided they wanted to play webmaster themselves (by comparison, I believe Turner still runs NBA.com).
 
2014-07-13 01:12:35 PM

Welcome to The Granite State!


img.photobucket.com


Pacedog's keepin' 'em honest for now.  Next time, it'll be for real.  NOW LET'S GET IT ON!!!


smc14.files.wordpress.com

 
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