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(Huffington Post)   Sometimes the original headline is the best: "House Republicans Protect America From Efficient Light Bulbs, Low-Flow Toilets"   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 157
    More: Asinine, House of Representatives, William McKinley  
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2112 clicks; posted to Politics » on 12 Jul 2014 at 4:44 PM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-12 01:54:31 PM  
Look, the light bulbs are a good idea, but low flow toilets suck ass.  We should have two stage flush toilets like they have in the rest of the world, because sometimes you need to get fat Elvis down the pipe and that 1 gallon a flush ain't gonna do it.
 
2014-07-12 02:38:18 PM  
Look, if you libs want to squint at your bowl stains in your dimly lit bathrooms, that's fine for you.  But some of us want to live life with gusto.  We want ample lighting and robust toilets that aggressively accept our droppings.  This is still America, dammit.
 
2014-07-12 02:51:14 PM  

Lsherm: Look, the light bulbs are a good idea, but low flow toilets suck ass.  We should have two stage flush toilets like they have in the rest of the world, because sometimes you need to get fat Elvis down the pipe and that 1 gallon a flush ain't gonna do it.


If the toilet can't accommodate your load, maybe the problem isn't with your toilet.
 
2014-07-12 02:55:37 PM  
I eat a can of beans a day and I vote.
 
2014-07-12 02:59:07 PM  
I think the move to 1.6 GPF toilets really forced the industry to design better, more spectacular was to dispatch a turd. The theatrics with grandma's old porcelain punch bucket were basically reminiscent of watching a ship slowly sink, slowly overtaken by the vast sea, to the depths. On modern toilets we're seeing more and more that a hostile watercraft disguised as a pair of brown question marks can be targeted with a brief but intense, cyclonic deluge using much less water.
 
2014-07-12 04:22:14 PM  

Mentat: If the toilet can't accommodate your load, maybe the problem isn't with your toilet.


Deciding to get between my butt and my toilet? Worst mistake Congress ever made.

I prove it to them every time I flush. Twice. If they're lucky.
 
2014-07-12 04:31:45 PM  

Mentat: Lsherm: Look, the light bulbs are a good idea, but low flow toilets suck ass.  We should have two stage flush toilets like they have in the rest of the world, because sometimes you need to get fat Elvis down the pipe and that 1 gallon a flush ain't gonna do it.

If the toilet can't accommodate your load, maybe the problem isn't with your toilet.


What is it with liberals and their incessant need to suggest people are always the problem?  Regular toilets work just fine, low flow toilets don't work as well because they physically aren't pushing as much water down the pipe.  It's farking science.

Sounds to me like you don't know how to wipe yourself properly.  Gross.
 
2014-07-12 04:49:14 PM  
Ahh, this is the sneaky "I'll just copy the article headline but lampshade it so it gets greened" strategy. I'll have to remember it.
 
2014-07-12 04:51:15 PM  
Or maybe, when that inevitable monster chud does emerge from the depths of your bowels to take residence in your porcelain palace, you flush a second time.  The 20 or so deuces in between can still be dispatched with 1.6 gallons, and on the aggregate you save enough water to fill a decent sized fish tank.

I know forward thinking is hard for some people, but water conservation is going to be a much more emergent need than saving energy before too long, and unlike energy, for which there is a natural tendency for balance between supply and demand (produce more vs. use less), water demand is almost inelastic.

But hey, go on taking from irrigation and drinking supply so that the daily soft-serve is accompanied by ten gallons of water-park thrills on its journey into the subterranean neitherworld.
 
2014-07-12 04:51:22 PM  

Lsherm: Regular toilets work just fine, low flow toilets don't work as well because they physically aren't pushing as much water down the pipe.


1.6 gpf should be plenty. It's not our fault you beef when you plop your fat ass on the toilet. Perhaps you should shiat in the shower and heel 'em down the drain.
 
2014-07-12 04:52:21 PM  

Lsherm: Look, the light bulbs are a good idea, but low flow toilets suck ass.  We should have two stage flush toilets like they have in the rest of the world, because sometimes you need to get fat Elvis down the pipe and that 1 gallon a flush ain't gonna do it.


Yep.  Having to flush two or three times is not an improvement.
 
2014-07-12 04:52:24 PM  

Il Douchey: Look, if you libs want to squint at your bowl stains in your dimly lit bathrooms, that's fine for you.  But some of us want to live life with gusto.  We want ample lighting and robust toilets that aggressively accept our droppings.  This is still America, dammit.


I'm sorry technology passed you by.
 
2014-07-12 04:52:32 PM  

Mentat: Lsherm: Look, the light bulbs are a good idea, but low flow toilets suck ass.  We should have two stage flush toilets like they have in the rest of the world, because sometimes you need to get fat Elvis down the pipe and that 1 gallon a flush ain't gonna do it.

If the toilet can't accommodate your load, maybe the problem isn't with your toilet.


Hey now, I vote Democrat and I use a stick to break up my feces like any good American should.
 
2014-07-12 04:54:49 PM  

Il Douchey: Look, if you libs want to squint at your bowl stains in your dimly lit bathrooms, that's fine for you.  But some of us want to live life with gusto.  We want ample lighting and robust toilets that aggressively accept our droppings.  This is still America, dammit.


In fact, I'm installing arc-lighting to shine through the coal-roller I installed in the bathroom fan.
 
2014-07-12 04:56:03 PM  

violentsalvation: I think the move to 1.6 GPF toilets really forced the industry to design better, more spectacular was to dispatch a turd. The theatrics with grandma's old porcelain punch bucket were basically reminiscent of watching a ship slowly sink, slowly overtaken by the vast sea, to the depths. On modern toilets we're seeing more and more that a hostile watercraft disguised as a pair of brown question marks can be targeted with a brief but intense, cyclonic deluge using much less water.


I f#cking love how much you've analyzed this. Full point.
 
2014-07-12 04:59:18 PM  
I don't see why anybody actually wants to stick with incandescent bulbs. For myself, I look forward to when BMW's laser lights are available for public consumption. So I can rig my whole house up with them, and live in a house with laser beams. Then I can tell every backwards conservative dipshiat, "fark your incandescent bulbs, I've got motherfarking laser beams, biatch."
 
2014-07-12 05:01:29 PM  
3.2 gallons per poop now compared to 3 gallons before.   That's what it comes down to.


/and the new bulbs suck for reading
 
2014-07-12 05:03:29 PM  
Damn, I leave you guys alone for one day and fark goes to shiat
 
2014-07-12 05:03:35 PM  
low flow toilets? With America's asses getting fatter and meal portions getting larger? ...I think not.
 
2014-07-12 05:04:50 PM  

Lsherm: Look, the light bulbs are a good idea, but low flow toilets suck ass.  We should have two stage flush toilets like they have in the rest of the world, because sometimes you need to get fat Elvis down the pipe and that 1 gallon a flush ain't gonna do it.


This. They also have farked up plumbing due to the lesser amounts of water, which then get to get unclogged. Good times.
 
2014-07-12 05:05:04 PM  

Il Douchey: Look, if you libs want to squint at your bowl stains in your dimly lit bathrooms, that's fine for you.  But some of us want to live life with gusto.  We want ample lighting and robust toilets that aggressively accept our droppings.  This is still America, dammit.


i can't read any more of the thread. It can only disappoint after this.
 
2014-07-12 05:05:31 PM  
Who the fark can't get their poop to flush?
 
2014-07-12 05:06:10 PM  

violentsalvation: I think the move to 1.6 GPF toilets really forced the industry to design better, more spectacular was to dispatch a turd. The theatrics with grandma's old porcelain punch bucket were basically reminiscent of watching a ship slowly sink, slowly overtaken by the vast sea, to the depths. On modern toilets we're seeing more and more that a hostile watercraft disguised as a pair of brown question marks can be targeted with a brief but intense, cyclonic deluge using much less water.


Ok, I admit it, I was wrong, I am not disappointed.

Ilovethisthreadsomuch.jpg
 
2014-07-12 05:06:35 PM  
Yeah like I really want one of those German toilets with the inspection shelf. Ill keep the low flow thank you
 
2014-07-12 05:07:20 PM  

Lsherm: We should have two stage flush toilets like they have in the rest of the world, because sometimes you need to get fat Elvis down the pipe and that 1 gallon a flush ain't gonna do it.


While we're trading plumbing ideas with the rest of the world, can we export sink traps to Europe? As much as I like traveling there, I'm not a big fan of bathrooms that are filled with sewer fumes.
 
2014-07-12 05:08:04 PM  

gilatrout: Yeah like I really want one of those German toilets with the inspection shelf. Ill keep the low flow thank you


That's not for inspecting, its to keep water from splashing back up to moisten your remarkable anus.
 
2014-07-12 05:09:13 PM  
I like high efficiency bulbs but low flow toilets are annoying.

I understand water is the new oil in many ways and that water conservation is gonna become a much bigger thing than it is now but it will still take me a long time to adapt to this.

Heard on the CBC the day that someone in India invented a toilet that uses almost no water at all essentially by using yer number one to flush down yer number two so to speak.

I've seen the future and  it stinks.

I'd still rather see the human race get a handle on population levels rather than see resource austerity become the new norm but that's just like, my opinion, man.
 
2014-07-12 05:09:15 PM  

BSABSVR: Who the fark can't get their poop to flush?


It always seems be whoever used the bathroom before me.
 
2014-07-12 05:10:35 PM  

doyner: gilatrout: Yeah like I really want one of those German toilets with the inspection shelf. Ill keep the low flow thank you

That's not for inspecting, its to keep water from splashing back up to moisten your remarkable anus.


According to my German relatives, it's there for the convenience when Herr Doktor requests a stool sample.

My anus thanks you for the compliment
 
2014-07-12 05:11:02 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-12 05:11:08 PM  
YMMV but a lot (not all)  of the 1.6Gal toilets are actually 3Gal toilets with a special float on the flapper value chain to close off the water at 1.6Gal.  If you have a massive shiat, flush and hold the handle down.  You will get that full flush you desire.  For normal human excreta, the 1.6Gal will suffice.
 
2014-07-12 05:11:32 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: violentsalvation: I think the move to 1.6 GPF toilets really forced the industry to design better, more spectacular was to dispatch a turd. The theatrics with grandma's old porcelain punch bucket were basically reminiscent of watching a ship slowly sink, slowly overtaken by the vast sea, to the depths. On modern toilets we're seeing more and more that a hostile watercraft disguised as a pair of brown question marks can be targeted with a brief but intense, cyclonic deluge using much less water.

I f#cking love how much you've analyzed this. Full point.


Yeah, there are definite winners and losers in the Excrement Expulsion Olympics, but a bigger problem is toilets have a tendency to degrade over time.  When my computer stops working, it just stops working.  But the toilet just down the hall got creative with it's fail.  It started taking longer to flush, it started "hanging" after flushes, it started quitting halfway through a flush or taking 30 seconds to empty the bowl when it used to be 10.

And since calling a plumber means 3 days without plumbing (but unable to leave the house) and a thousand dollars (minimum) we just stick with a shiatty (heh) toilet.
 
2014-07-12 05:11:39 PM  
This has been a pet issue for House Republicans, who have added the prohibition to previous spending bills, even though the standards originated in the 2007 energy bill that President George W. Bush signed into law.

This lightbulb law, the child immigrant from countries other than Mexico or Canada law of 2008, the whole collapsed economy thing ... I'm starting to wonder if the only thing Republicans did for the last two years of the Bush administration was set up thing to biatch about in the event a Democrat won the next presidential election.
 
2014-07-12 05:12:01 PM  

quatchi: I'd still rather see the human race get a handle on population levels rather than see resource austerity become the new norm but that's just like, my opinion, man.



Well, in your world there'll still be a need for high-capacity crappers to flush all those fetuses.
 
2014-07-12 05:16:16 PM  

gilatrout: doyner: gilatrout: Yeah like I really want one of those German toilets with the inspection shelf. Ill keep the low flow thank you

That's not for inspecting, its to keep water from splashing back up to moisten your remarkable anus.

According to my German relatives, it's there for the convenience when Herr Doktor requests a stool sample.

My anus thanks you for the compliment


German healthcare is holistic in that every industry pitches in, so I see this as making sense.  But think back to every turd to dropped there--how many splashbacks did you get?

I'd rather have an inspection shelf and a dry starfish, thankyouverymuch.
 
2014-07-12 05:19:04 PM  

doyner: gilatrout: doyner: gilatrout: Yeah like I really want one of those German toilets with the inspection shelf. Ill keep the low flow thank you

That's not for inspecting, its to keep water from splashing back up to moisten your remarkable anus.

According to my German relatives, it's there for the convenience when Herr Doktor requests a stool sample.

My anus thanks you for the compliment

German healthcare is holistic in that every industry pitches in, so I see this as making sense.  But think back to every turd to dropped there--how many splashbacks did you get?

I'd rather have an inspection shelf and a dry starfish, thankyouverymuch.


Toto makes a seat with a bowl drier. Just saying
 
2014-07-12 05:19:46 PM  

doyner: water demand is almost inelastic.


peak water?
 
2014-07-12 05:20:28 PM  

gilatrout: doyner: gilatrout: doyner: gilatrout: Yeah like I really want one of those German toilets with the inspection shelf. Ill keep the low flow thank you

That's not for inspecting, its to keep water from splashing back up to moisten your remarkable anus.

According to my German relatives, it's there for the convenience when Herr Doktor requests a stool sample.

My anus thanks you for the compliment

German healthcare is holistic in that every industry pitches in, so I see this as making sense.  But think back to every turd to dropped there--how many splashbacks did you get?

I'd rather have an inspection shelf and a dry starfish, thankyouverymuch.

Toto makes a seat with a bowl drier. Just saying


Hey, I've lived in Japan, and I know all about the amazing toilets there.  But prevention is better than cure in this case.
 
2014-07-12 05:26:21 PM  
TheBigJerk:

Yeah, there are definite winners and losers in the Excrement Expulsion Olympics, but a bigger problem is toilets have a tendency to degrade over time.  When my computer stops working, it just stops working.  But the toilet just down the hall got creative with it's fail.  It started taking longer to flush, it started "hanging" after flushes, it started quitting halfway through a flush or taking 30 seconds to empty the bowl when it used to be 10.

And since calling a plumber means 3 days without plumbing (but unable to leave the house) and a thousand dollars (minimum) we just stick with a shiatty (heh) toilet.


Replacing a toilet is fairly easy if you can turn a wrench. Disconnect old one, remove the nuts that hold it to the floor, scrape up old wax ring and replace, then bolt down the new one and connect the water line.

Seriously, it takes maybe an hour. *

*does not apply if floor bolts are rusted or mounting ring is broken
 
2014-07-12 05:28:06 PM  

Outshined_One: Mentat: Lsherm: Look, the light bulbs are a good idea, but low flow toilets suck ass.  We should have two stage flush toilets like they have in the rest of the world, because sometimes you need to get fat Elvis down the pipe and that 1 gallon a flush ain't gonna do it.

If the toilet can't accommodate your load, maybe the problem isn't with your toilet.

Hey now, I vote Democrat and I use a stick to break up my feces like any good American should.


/grabs plunger
I'm from the government, and I'm here to help!
 
2014-07-12 05:28:49 PM  
While I approve of the asinine tag I'm not sure this thread is going the way subby invisioned. I want to be protected from crappy lightbulbs and even crappier toilets.
 
2014-07-12 05:30:16 PM  
*poopthread.gif*
 
2014-07-12 05:31:18 PM  
added the prohibition to previous spending bills, even though the standards originated in the 2007 energy bill that President George W. Bush signed into law.

Because sticking it to the libs is what matters. Even when the libs aren't responsible.  Congressional Republicans:

earthfirstjournal.org
 
2014-07-12 05:31:38 PM  

RobertBruce: 3.2 gallons per poop now compared to 3 gallons before.   That's what it comes down to.


/and the new bulbs suck for reading


Yeah, stop buying LEDs from bargain warehouse and learn how to read the package/learn to read. LED bulbs are wonderful for reading, as long as you aren't buying shiatty brilliant blue/white ones for 47c at Menards.
 
2014-07-12 05:31:49 PM  
 "House Republicans Protect America From Efficient Light Bulbs, Low-Flow Toilets to protect the wallets of their masters."

FTFY
 
2014-07-12 05:32:32 PM  

neongoats: RobertBruce: 3.2 gallons per poop now compared to 3 gallons before.   That's what it comes down to.


/and the new bulbs suck for reading

Yeah, stop buying LEDs from bargain warehouse and learn how to read the package/learn to read. LED bulbs are wonderful for reading, as long as you aren't buying shiatty brilliant blue/white ones for 47c at Menards.


How else is he supposed to save big money?
 
2014-07-12 05:33:35 PM  

RobertBruce: the new bulbs suck for reading


Funny how I haven't heard any right-wingers use that excuse.
 
2014-07-12 05:35:52 PM  
farking kill yourselves, you subhuman pieces of shiat
 
2014-07-12 05:38:52 PM  

quatchi: I like high efficiency bulbs but low flow toilets are annoying.


i have a low flow dual-flush toilet that has handled every single "GOP bill" thrown at it with only the lighter flush setting

it isn't farking 1996 anymore
 
2014-07-12 05:39:58 PM  

Lsherm: What is it with liberals and their incessant need to suggest people are always the problem?


Technically, it's the failure of nature to provide an infinite and unbounded cornucopia for our appetites that's the problem.

The solutions, such as they are, usually do rely on people changing some of their habits... flushing away several gallons of perfectly good water every time we use the toilet is among them. While it would be nice to pretend to pretend that's unnecessary and we can have everything we want all the time, indefinitely, that strategy isn't likely to have a positive outcome.

static01.nyt.com
 
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