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(Foodbeast)   Panda Express is now selling orange chicken burritos, finally bridging two cuisines that have no business meeting: terrible Chinese fast food and terrible Mexican fast food   (foodbeast.com) divider line 128
    More: Sick  
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2879 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2014 at 3:56 PM (5 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-12 10:56:24 AM
Why is this bad? Panda Express and Baja Fresh are both owned by Chinese and operated by Mexicans. So they get to combine their efforts...
 
2014-07-12 01:21:41 PM
Two Wong/Juans make a right.
 
2014-07-12 03:58:42 PM
Does Panda Express suck, I've never had it but it doesn't seem like it would be that hard to deep fry a bunch of General Tso's chicken and have rice ready.

/not a Chinese food expert
//obviously
 
2014-07-12 04:00:13 PM
I crapped myself just reading the deadline.
 
2014-07-12 04:00:31 PM
So after you eat this and get the runs, you'll have to go to the bathroom again 2 hours later?


Eeeeeeewwwwww!
 
2014-07-12 04:01:53 PM
Every New Years for years a few friends and I used to hit up this tiny Chinese/Mexican combo place in Brooklyn. Don't know how it started but it became a tradition. The thing is, they didn't have bad food. Thinking about their General Tso's or Burritos still gets me hungry.

/wonder if they're still around..
//The place was run by koreans, that also amused the hell out of me
 
2014-07-12 04:02:27 PM

Bslim: I crapped myself just reading the deadline headline.


that was also the fault of the food.
 
2014-07-12 04:02:31 PM
Sounds like something that would be a big hit in New England.
 
2014-07-12 04:04:04 PM
Not fast food, good food served quickly.
 
2014-07-12 04:05:17 PM
So... basically a variation on Moo shu chicken, then?
 
2014-07-12 04:05:58 PM

Hector Remarkable: Not fast food, good food served quickly.


I say this in my head at least once a day.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-07-12 04:06:36 PM
I remember reading that a Cajun and Asian fast food restaurant in a nearby mall shared the same kitchen.  Spiced chicken on rice, which ethnicity would you like to have on the label?
 
2014-07-12 04:07:55 PM
Silence yer cake-hole, subby. I would happily eat that.
 
2014-07-12 04:08:33 PM

CruJones: Does Panda Express suck, I've never had it but it doesn't seem like it would be that hard to deep fry a bunch of General Tso's chicken and have rice ready.

/not a Chinese food expert
//obviously


Chinese fast food is a pretty good description.  I like their orange chicken, in the same way I like a Wendy's double cheeseburger.
 
2014-07-12 04:09:16 PM
Oh, subby. If you think Panda Express is terrible, you've obviously never been to a $6 Chinese buffet on a slow afternoon.
 
2014-07-12 04:09:35 PM
I like rich people food as much as the next guy, but I like poor people food too.

/food
//fat
 
2014-07-12 04:10:00 PM
"scallion pancake "burritos.""

Sooo subby's not ever heard of scallion pancakes that go so freaking awesomely with duck, and are indeed Chinese...
 
2014-07-12 04:10:19 PM

seek3r: Every New Years for years a few friends and I used to hit up this tiny Chinese/Mexican combo place in Brooklyn. Don't know how it started but it became a tradition. The thing is, they didn't have bad food. Thinking about their General Tso's or Burritos still gets me hungry.

/wonder if they're still around..
//The place was run by koreans, that also amused the hell out of me


Same here, there were several in Queens, food was pretty good, not great, but pretty good.
 
2014-07-12 04:12:01 PM
So much for the Noveau concept of "Rescue food". Here in NM, we xcall it that so it doesn't get thrown away. But if you're trying to eat healthier, just let it go.
 
2014-07-12 04:12:18 PM

Hector Remarkable: Not fast food, good food served quickly.


I hate that line they're giving us, like that's suppose to make me think this $8 burrito at Chipotle is like fine dining fast food style and worth it?  BS!  I rarely eat at places like that now, if I want to damage my stomach I can do for much cheaper at b-king or mcdonalds and that's on ave once or twice a year.
 
2014-07-12 04:12:23 PM
When I lived in Florida there was a place that did the opposite: it was a Mexican joint and they had "bang bang chicken burritos" which were like orange chicken burritos. Never had one, but their tacos were good.
 
2014-07-12 04:12:27 PM
 
2014-07-12 04:12:53 PM
img.fark.net

It's been done.

/i'll be damned if i'm going to try to find the full comic
 
2014-07-12 04:13:51 PM

CruJones: Does Panda Express suck, I've never had it but it doesn't seem like it would be that hard to deep fry a bunch of General Tso's chicken and have rice ready.


Most of the food is made in huge bins and served catering-style. shiatty managers will try to keep overhead low at slow times by letting some sit way too long and get all soggy or dried up. Good ones will let it go and make you fresh stuff, so you wait a bit longer but get tastier food. Usually business turns over quickly enough that it's not a problem.
 
2014-07-12 04:14:21 PM

CruJones: Does Panda Express suck, I've never had it but it doesn't seem like it would be that hard to deep fry a bunch of General Tso's chicken and have rice ready.

/not a Chinese food expert
//obviously


First recognize that what America calls Chinese food isn't.

Then note that Panda Express has some of the worst, microwave prepped, marked up far too much, mass produced, disgusting examples of America's idea of Chinese food that you'll ever waste your money on.
 
2014-07-12 04:16:42 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: [img.fark.net image 213x266]

It's been done.

/i'll be damned if i'm going to try to find the full comic



It has been done..

and it's delicious.
 
2014-07-12 04:18:07 PM

Agent Smiths Laugh: CruJones: Does Panda Express suck, I've never had it but it doesn't seem like it would be that hard to deep fry a bunch of General Tso's chicken and have rice ready.

/not a Chinese food expert
//obviously

First recognize that what America calls Chinese food isn't.

Then note that Panda Express has some of the worst, microwave prepped, marked up far too much, mass produced, disgusting examples of America's idea of Chinese food that you'll ever waste your money on.


Citation needed. ( but it wouldn't surprise me).  I'm not a fan of Panda Express...

/ at least it's cheaper than P.F. Chang's
 
2014-07-12 04:18:37 PM
get off my LAWN!

come on kids, we had these back in the 90's the hipsters called them WRAPS.   any other culture's food wrapped in a tortilla
 
2014-07-12 04:19:44 PM

Ex-Texan: So much for the Noveau concept of "Rescue food". Here in NM, we xcall it that so it doesn't get thrown away. But if you're trying to eat healthier, just let it go.


after rereading your post thee times I have no idea what you are trying to say
 
2014-07-12 04:20:33 PM
Bridging the two cuisines...... to where do they outsource the actual food manufacturing?
 
2014-07-12 04:23:27 PM

CruJones: Does Panda Express suck, I've never had it but it doesn't seem like it would be that hard to deep fry a bunch of General Tso's chicken and have rice ready.

/not a Chinese food expert
//obviously


It's standard Chinese-American fast food with overly sweet/salty, syrupy sauces.

Some of their stuff is okay, if that's what you're in the mood for.
 
2014-07-12 04:25:12 PM
Do you guys know that Pfchang's are owned by a couple of white dudes?

Who would've ever thought Larry and Moe would one day become multi millionaire by making good chinese food
 
2014-07-12 04:26:15 PM
The only Panda Express I know of is in the mall, meaning I'll never go to Panda Express.
 
2014-07-12 04:27:24 PM
Well, at least they decided on a color...

dailykimchi.com
 
2014-07-12 04:30:09 PM

CruJones: Does Panda Express suck, I've never had it but it doesn't seem like it would be that hard to deep fry a bunch of General Tso's chicken and have rice ready.

/not a Chinese food expert
//obviously


Subby is wrong, panda is actually pretty good fast food Chinese.  They hand cut all their vegetables and Wok it fresh right there.
 
2014-07-12 04:30:27 PM
I like my orange chicken burrito with a scoop of spumone on top.
 
2014-07-12 04:35:04 PM

SuperNinjaToad: Do you guys know that Pfchang's are owned by a couple of white dudes?

Who would've ever thought Larry and Moe would one day become multi millionaire by making good chinese food


PFChang's makes good Chinese food?
 
2014-07-12 04:35:21 PM
The thing I like about Panda Express is that they serve cream cheese rangoon instead of crab rangoon, which as a vegetarian, I appreciate. Otherwise, their food is... scary.
 
2014-07-12 04:35:24 PM
On one hand, that sounds horrible. But on the other hand, it sounds awesome. 

I don't live too far from Pasadena, so maybe I'll go find out.
 
2014-07-12 04:36:15 PM
ninja.lhost.de
 
2014-07-12 04:36:16 PM
As lczer typed above, "scallion pancake "burritos.""   Wouldna mind trying scallion pancake on its own, but will more likely just chop onions & fling them into batter.  Might  even be better'n it sounds -- for sure, a) Easier & b) Cheaper. So Not  seeking foto for this!
 
2014-07-12 04:36:17 PM

Nylter: The thing I like about Panda Express is that they serve cream cheese rangoon instead of crab rangoon, which as a vegetarian, I appreciate. Otherwise, their food is... scary.


Most rangoons are actually "krab" - ie imitation crab meat.
 
2014-07-12 04:37:39 PM
And yet, despite all the hipster upturned noses, panda express is actually pretty good. Sure, it bears about as much resemblance to actual chinese food as I do to a movie star, but who cares? It's pretty tasty, reasonably cheap, you get a lot of food for the price, and it's quick. I wouldn't eat this burrito... thing, but their regular stuff is just fine.
 
2014-07-12 04:38:02 PM

CruJones: Does Panda Express suck, I've never had it but it doesn't seem like it would be that hard to deep fry a bunch of General Tso's chicken and have rice ready.

/not a Chinese food expert
//obviously


I like their food, but I rarely get to go to one. Their orange chicken is some of the best I've had.

Not sure about a burrito version, may try it, maybe.
 
2014-07-12 04:38:32 PM
I had Korean Tacos last night, so I am getting a kick out of this.

marinated grilled chicken
red peppers
caramelized sweet onions
shredded cabbage
sweet chili sauce
flour tortillas
 
2014-07-12 04:38:42 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-12 04:39:44 PM
Three Words. Alfredo. Weinstein. Ho.
 
2014-07-12 04:40:19 PM
Panda Express? I prefer my pandas be slow cooked personally.
 
2014-07-12 04:40:27 PM
Anyone ever been to Chino Bandito in Phoenix, AZ?  This Mexican dude married this Chinese chick.  They opened a restaurant serving Mexican/Asian fusion food.  It's pretty much the best damn food ever.
 
2014-07-12 04:42:49 PM
Oh subby.  I envy you if all of your Chinese food experiences are such that Panda Express is 'terrible' in comparison.  There are some true horror shows of Chinese "cuisine" out there.
 
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