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(Bloomberg)   Country songwriter alert: Man's dog dies. Fark: But not before giving him pneumonic plague, the deadliest kind there is. Try to work "pneumonic" into the lyrics, ok?   (bloomberg.com) divider line 99
    More: Scary  
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5058 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2014 at 11:25 AM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-12 12:59:03 PM  

Delta1212: thamike: "We don't think it's out in our air," House said. "We think it's in our dead animal populations and dead rodent populations."

"Then again, I'm always completely wrong at first."

Did they rule out Lupus? One time it was Lupus.


Was it actually ever lupus?  I'm in the middle of binge watching the whole series on Netflix.
 
2014-07-12 01:00:07 PM  
I looked into his sad eyes and we both knew
My buddy had more than a simple flu.
His doggy days were numbered, dwindling to just a few.
And in those eyes he seemed to say "I've got a present just for you."

Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnndddddd he hocked a lugie in my mouth.
More than a little spittle, his spewed out sputum knocked me south.
Yeah, he hocked an enormous lugie in my mouth.

So here I lie in hospital, dying from my doggie's spittle.
With all the tubes and needles, I can still smile a little
Cause when I get to Heaven, right there in the middle
Will be my Buddy, my boots and a huge pool of piddle.

Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnndddddd he hocked a lugie in my mouth.
More than a little spittle, his spewed out sputum knocked me south.
Yeah, he hocked an enormous lugie in my mouth.
Yeah, he hocked a deadly, damning, enormous lugie in my mouth
 
2014-07-12 01:01:26 PM  

ZAZ: I wish Warren Zevon were still around. He worked "brucellosis" into a song. He could do pneumonic plague or Yersinia pestis.


I saw a plague rat drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's
His hair was perfect
 
2014-07-12 01:01:51 PM  
Wrong disease, but still a great Dr. Demento hit: My Baby's Got Rabies

I love it when she throws those little fits,
That sexy growl, that snarling howl & hiss.
Her eyes are fiery jewels,
It's magic when she drools,
The taste of rodent lingers on her kiss.

She's pregnant, that's okay, she's dying anyway.
 
2014-07-12 01:17:16 PM  
I don't know.  Something about this whole thing just cries for a Cole Porter lyric.
 
2014-07-12 01:21:47 PM  
Who let the dogs cough
Ahh choo
 
2014-07-12 01:25:48 PM  

bearded clamorer: ♫ My dog just died, it was the plague
The doctors, they were pretty vague
But then they said it was pneumonic
So now I'm drinkin' gin and tonic... ♫


My head sang that in Lurleen's voice.

img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-12 01:31:51 PM  
So his dog died but what about his girl friend, pickup truck, his mom and her prison sentence? Obscure?
 
2014-07-12 01:33:08 PM  
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bridge i'll die
Dogs get pneumonic plague but
Why oh why did I?

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bridge I'll die
And Obama care death
panels sit idly by

Someday I'll cough my lung out far
And wake up mortal koil far behind me
Where mucous melts and tissue rots
just like a zombies pieces drop
In my grave you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bridge I'll die
Now I know that dogs are
beter than cats is lies.
 
2014-07-12 01:42:35 PM  

OscarTamerz: So his dog died but what about his girl friend, pickup truck, his mom and her prison sentence? Obscure?


Tommy Lee Jones looking askance at you over the top of his glasses x eleventy brazillion.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-07-12 01:46:00 PM  
I guess Al Stewart could do it as well as Rod:

On a morning from a Hitchcock movie
In a county where they turn back time
You go strolling through the field
like M.E. Quincy contemplating a crime

She runs out of the sun in her wet fur panting
like a dying mongrel in the rain
Don't bother asking for explanations
She'll just tell you that she came...
In the year of the rat.

(sax solo)

(coughing)

(thud)

(Peter Wood, who played the piano in Year of the Cat, is dead. Think about it.)
 
2014-07-12 01:50:57 PM  
i.imgur.com

Probably should have laid off the Krusty-brand Chew-Goo Gum-like Substance after that Hantavirus scare.

Fark is acting funny with Chrome and image-posting today. Mac or PC it doesn't matter. Anyone else have that?
 
2014-07-12 01:53:23 PM  
Per Wikipedia, untreated pneumonic plague can kill you as quickly as 36 hours after you are infected.
 
2014-07-12 01:53:40 PM  

OscarTamerz: So his dog died but what about his girl friend, pickup truck, his mom and her prison sentence? Obscure?


Are you kidding? A song like that would be the Most Perfect Country and Western song ever.

/own the cd
//nothing is obscure on Fark
 
2014-07-12 01:57:33 PM  
Its in the weed, man.  You don't get off unless you cough (and spread the sickness)
 
2014-07-12 02:08:55 PM  
I prefer Haiku

Pneumonic Plague dog
approached by nonexistence
coughs death into me
 
2014-07-12 02:28:03 PM  
'Dat plague he gave me been pneumonic
He done and made me catatonic...
 
2014-07-12 02:31:29 PM  
Like this

s30.postimg.org
Pneumonic

It's both pneumatic and demonic at the same time.
 
2014-07-12 02:34:47 PM  
I got a new monical for my bad eye.
 
2014-07-12 02:35:53 PM  
Girl, my dog died and went away
But before he left he gave me the plague
It wasn't bubonic but that deadlier pneumonic
So that's why I ain't gonna stay.
 
2014-07-12 02:53:42 PM  
www.hotnewsonglyrics.co

Uh-huh make me tonight
Tonight
Make it right
Uh-huh make me tonight
Tonight
Tonight
Oh, uh-huh make it magnificent
Tonight
Right
Ah, oh your hair is beautiful
Ah, tonight
Pneumonic
Tonight make it magnificent
Tonight
Make me tonight
Your hair is beautiful
Oh, tonight
Pneumonic
Oh Pneumonic
Oh
Oh Pneumonic
Oh Pneumonic
Oh
 
2014-07-12 03:22:36 PM  
Bon Scott:

 I've got pneumonic plague
 I've got pneumonic plague
 such pneumonic plague
 dirty pneumonic plague
 And he's got pneumonic plague
 And she's got pneumonic plague
 But we've got the worst pneumonic plague of them all!
 
2014-07-12 03:45:59 PM  
Isn't it pneumonic, don't ya think.
 
2014-07-12 03:58:47 PM  

C18H27NO3: Isn't it pneumonic, don't ya think.


It's like PAAAIIN on your dying day!
 
2014-07-12 04:00:16 PM  

thamike: [media.apcmag.com image 625x417]

COUGH woah COUGH COUGH


//leaving satisfied
 
2014-07-12 04:03:33 PM  
🎶Oh I had a dog, ten years of age.
He'd come up with me on this Nashville stage.
He'd howl as I sang, and it weren't harmonic.
The plague he gave me, it was pneumonic.🎶
 
2014-07-12 04:07:40 PM  

Abox: Bon Scott:

 I've got pneumonic plague
 I've got pneumonic plague
 such pneumonic plague
 dirty pneumonic plague
 And he's got pneumonic plague
 And she's got pneumonic plague
 But we've got the worst pneumonic plague of them all!


I wish I could "funny" via mobile
 
2014-07-12 04:39:29 PM  

thamike: "We don't think it's out in our air," House said. "We think it's in our dead animal populations and dead rodent populations."




"Then again, I'm always completely wrong at first."


I'm glad someone else was thinking it. Now I don't feel so dorky.
 
2014-07-12 04:43:48 PM  
We're caught in a trap
Cause I've got the clap
And you've got pneumonic plague now baby.

Why can't you see
What you're doing to me
Cause you don't believe
that when you cough you spray
 
2014-07-12 04:53:17 PM  
Girl, we were down by the riverside
Smokin on some chronic by the moonlight
Harry connick on the radio dial
Almost pneumonic when my dog died

Whoa you're lookin' so fine


Girl slide on over real nice
It's like a date rape drug but only advertised
Is it jäger, bud light or dark eyes?
It don't matter cuz all we got tonight!

Jump in the water whoa!!!

/Calls up Luke Bryan for some money
 
2014-07-12 05:24:09 PM  
Adams County, home to 470,000 residents, with 425,000 living in the Denver metro area, is one of Colorado's fastest-growing counties and among the 20 fastest-growing counties in the nation.
Untreated plague is fatal, and antibiotics have to be given within 24 hours of the first symptoms to reduce the chance of death. Symptoms of the disease include fever, headache and chest pain, along with a pneumonia that develops rapidly causing shortness of breath, chest pain and bloody mucus, according to the CDC.


This is my county as in exactly where I live.  I nearly died from Pneumonia a little over a year ago and it took months for full recovery.  Only the past few months have I felt back at capacity, barely.  It's not an everyone panic moment, but good heavens, plague version or not, Pneumonia can and does kill a lot of people and it certainly farked up my life as in I lost a job I loved due to not being eligible for FMLA (3 weeks short of a year)  Some scary, scary shiat and I'm still under 40 and nearly shuffled off of this mortal coil because of it.  Still no idea of where I picked it up from or why it lasted so long-4 rounds of antibiotics finally killed it, but a year of recovery after that?  Yeah, no thanks.  Never ever again and that was with excellent medical care.
 
2014-07-12 05:36:07 PM  
Oh yeah, go ahead and try to work that into a country song....good luck.
 
2014-07-12 06:23:25 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: I looked into his sad eyes and we both knew
My buddy had more than a simple flu.
His doggy days were numbered, dwindling to just a few.
And in those eyes he seemed to say "I've got a present just for you."

Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnndddddd he hocked a lugie in my mouth.
More than a little spittle, his spewed out sputum knocked me south.
Yeah, he hocked an enormous lugie in my mouth.

So here I lie in hospital, dying from my doggie's spittle.
With all the tubes and needles, I can still smile a little
Cause when I get to Heaven, right there in the middle
Will be my Buddy, my boots and a huge pool of piddle.

Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnndddddd he hocked a lugie in my mouth.
More than a little spittle, his spewed out sputum knocked me south.
Yeah, he hocked an enormous lugie in my mouth.
Yeah, he hocked a deadly, damning, enormous lugie in my mouth


Love this! I imagined Adam Sandler singing this to the "Somebody kill me, please" melody.
 
2014-07-12 06:33:10 PM  

Summoner101: What kind of plague is pneumonic
So obscure to require a mnemonic
Bubonic is not my pal
Thriving in lymph intersti-e-al
Septicemic makes me pout
In blood vessels which runs throughout
Pneumonic rolls right off my tongue
Festering in my abnormal lung
Pharyngeal makes me hoarse
While in my throat of course
Meningeal I cannot maintain
As it ventures to my brain
All from grace on up above
Though none as infectious as your love


You people are so twisted.

/I love it
 
2014-07-12 06:34:44 PM  
Okay, Let's see what I can bring to the parody table.

How many dogs must a man ever own
Before you call him a man?
How many times must his plague dog lick
Before he sleeps in the sand?
Yes, how many times must the prairie dogs infect,
Before they're forever banned?
Pneumonic plague, my friend is blowin' in the wind
The Plague is blowin' in the wind.
 
2014-07-12 07:24:37 PM  
Septicemic plague is the deadliest. Can kill you before you feel symptoms.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-07-12 08:27:36 PM  
washington-babylon

Oh the doctor he draws circles
Up and down my chart.
I'd ask him what the matter was,
but my coated lungs won't talk.
And the nurses treat me kindly,
and I know they really try,
But deep inside my heart
I fear I'm gonna die.
Oh, mama, could this really be the end?
To be stuck in Adams County with pneumonic plague again.

Well Piper, he's in the prairie,
with his deadly tubes and gas,
speaking to the sheriff,
who says this too will pass.
And I begged him don't explode them,
mother nature can be hell,
But he just thanked the rodents,
and blew the docs to hell.
Oh, mama, could this really be the end?
To be stuck in Adams County with pneumonic plague again.

(harmonica solo)

(thud)
 
2014-07-12 09:05:55 PM  

washington-babylon: Okay, Let's see what I can bring to the parody table.

How many dogs must a man ever own
Before you call him a man?
How many times must his plague dog lick
Before he sleeps in the sand?
Yes, how many times must the prairie dogs infect,
Before they're forever banned?
Pneumonic plague, my friend is blowin' in the wind
The Plague is blowin' in the wind.


Ok, that was funny.  You're already favorited, otherwise, I'd favorite you again.

ZAZ: washington-babylon

Oh the doctor he draws circles
Up and down my chart.
I'd ask him what the matter was,
but my coated lungs won't talk.
And the nurses treat me kindly,
and I know they really try,
But deep inside my heart
I fear I'm gonna die.
Oh, mama, could this really be the end?
To be stuck in Adams County with pneumonic plague again.

Well Piper, he's in the prairie,
with his deadly tubes and gas,
speaking to the sheriff,
who says this too will pass.
And I begged him don't explode them,
mother nature can be hell,
But he just thanked the rodents,
and blew the docs to hell.
Oh, mama, could this really be the end?
To be stuck in Adams County with pneumonic plague again.

(harmonica solo)

(thud)


ZAZ, I've liked you for years and have just now favorited you too.  Bob Dylan, FTW.
 
2014-07-12 09:57:01 PM  
Wait, pneumatic plague? Or mnemonic plague?
 
2014-07-12 11:01:25 PM  
Let's not overlook the urban scene:

With so much drama in L-B-C
Kinda hard breathin' prairie  D-O-double-G dust
But I, somehow, some way
Keep coughin' up funky ass shiat like every single day
Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice
Laid back (with my mind pneumonic and pneumonic on my mind)
 
2014-07-12 11:56:11 PM  

specialkae: washington-babylon: Okay, Let's see what I can bring to the parody table.

How many dogs must a man ever own
Before you call him a man?
How many times must his plague dog lick
Before he sleeps in the sand?
Yes, how many times must the prairie dogs infect,
Before they're forever banned?
Pneumonic plague, my friend is blowin' in the wind
The Plague is blowin' in the wind.

Ok, that was funny.  You're already favorited, otherwise, I'd favorite you again.ZAZ: washington-babylon

Oh the doctor he draws circles
Up and down my chart.
I'd ask him what the matter was,
but my coated lungs won't talk.
And the nurses treat me kindly,
and I know they really try,
But deep inside my heart
I fear I'm gonna die.
Oh, mama, could this really be the end?
To be stuck in Adams County with pneumonic plague again.

Well Piper, he's in the prairie,
with his deadly tubes and gas,
speaking to the sheriff,
who says this too will pass.
And I begged him don't explode them,
mother nature can be hell,
But he just thanked the rodents,
and blew the docs to hell.
Oh, mama, could this really be the end?
To be stuck in Adams County with pneumonic plague again.

(harmonica solo)

(thud)

ZAZ, I've liked you for years and have just now favorited you too.  Bob Dylan, FTW.


Thanks for the favorite :)

As it turns out, one of my hobbies is writing parodies. I have a few I have been saving for a rainy day on FARK, but I might just see if I can come up with another for this occasion, as I am killing time before a midnight software install.
 
2014-07-13 12:27:36 AM  
*Ahem*

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that doggie used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make that puppy dance
And make FARK be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With dead squirrels he'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more breath
I can't remember if I cried
When I read from the plague he'd died,
But something touched me deep inside
The day my doggie died

So bye-bye, to my doggie and I,
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
And the good docs were off drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that you die
This'll be the day that you die"

Did you write the book of drugs
And do you have faith in shots and pills
If the doctor tells you to?
Now do you believe in cures and dough
Can money save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to breathe real slow?

Well, I know that I'm in trouble again
'Cause I saw you lookin' pretty grim
You read through all my charts
Man, I just made my last post on FARK.

I was a lonely basement dwelling F**k
With a pneumonic plague and fate that sucked
And I knew I was out of luck
The day the doggie died

 So bye-bye, to my doggie and I,
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
And the good docs were off drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that you die
This'll be the day that you die"


/About all I want to tackle tonight.
 
2014-07-13 12:31:53 AM  

washington-babylon: *Ahem*

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that doggie used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make that puppy dance
And make FARK be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With dead squirrels he'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more breath
I can't remember if I cried
When I read from the plague he'd died,
But something touched me deep inside
The day my doggie died

So bye-bye, to my doggie and I,
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
And the good docs were off drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that you die
This'll be the day that you die"

Did you write the book of drugs Ills
And do you have faith in shots and pills
If the doctor tells you to?
Now do you believe in cures and dough
Can money save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to breathe real slow?

Well, I know that I'm in trouble again
'Cause I saw you lookin' pretty grim
You read through all my charts
Man, I just made my last post on FARK.

I was a lonely basement dwelling F**k
With a pneumonic plague and fate that sucked
And I knew I was out of luck
The day the doggie died

 So bye-bye, to my doggie and I,
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
And the good docs were off drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that you die
This'll be the day that you die"


/About all I want to tackle tonight.


Bad form to reply to one's own post, but caught a little phrase that was off. FTFM

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that doggie used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make that puppy dance
And make FARK be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With dead squirrels he'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more breath
I can't remember if I cried
When I read from the plague he'd died,
But something touched me deep inside
The day my doggie died

So bye-bye, to my doggie and I,
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
And the good docs were off drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that you die
This'll be the day that you die"

Did you write the book of drugs Ills
And do you have faith in shots and pills
If the doctor tells you to?
Now do you believe in cures and dough
Can money save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to breathe real slow?

Well, I know that I'm in trouble again
'Cause I saw you lookin' pretty grim
You read through all my charts
Man, I just made my last post on FARK.

I was a lonely basement dwelling F**k
With a pneumonic plague and fate that sucked
And I knew I was out of luck
The day the doggie died

 So bye-bye, to my doggie and I,
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
And the good docs were off drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that you die
This'll be the day that you die"
 
2014-07-13 01:02:05 AM  

OscarTamerz: So his dog died but what about his girl friend, pickup truck, his mom and her prison sentence? Obscure?


Damned ole train!
 
2014-07-13 01:58:44 AM  

washington-babylon: washington-babylon: *Ahem*

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that doggie used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make that puppy dance
And make FARK be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With dead squirrels he'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more breath
I can't remember if I cried
When I read from the plague he'd died,
But something touched me deep inside
The day my doggie died

So bye-bye, to my doggie and I,
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
And the good docs were off drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that you die
This'll be the day that you die"

Did you write the book of drugs Ills
And do you have faith in shots and pills
If the doctor tells you to?
Now do you believe in cures and dough
Can money save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to breathe real slow?

Well, I know that I'm in trouble again
'Cause I saw you lookin' pretty grim
You read through all my charts
Man, I just made my last post on FARK.

I was a lonely basement dwelling F**k
With a pneumonic plague and fate that sucked
And I knew I was out of luck
The day the doggie died

 So bye-bye, to my doggie and I,
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
And the good docs were off drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that you die
This'll be the day that you die"


/About all I want to tackle tonight.

Bad form to reply to one's own post, but caught a little phrase that was off. FTFM

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that doggie used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make that puppy dance
And make FARK be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With dead squirrels he'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more breath
I can't remember if I cried
When I read from the plague he'd died,
But something touched me deep inside
The day my doggie died

So bye-bye, to my doggie and I,
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but t ...


Perfectionist.  But well done, sir.
 
2014-07-13 04:46:34 AM  

specialkae: washington-babylon: washington-babylon: *Ahem*


Thanks :)

I saw that and had to make the change. Want to know the secret to great parodies? Proper meter, and where needed, consistent rhyming or slant rhyming. That's it. Pay attention to those two things, and it will sound great.


/Currently working on a CD of original parodies (as original as a parody can be) with a buddy.
//Yes, I'm the writer, he's the musician.
 
2014-07-13 09:09:19 AM  
Meh, a dog died. That's tragedy enough.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-07-13 09:30:51 AM  
Wait, we can correct our mistakes now? I thought I was on Fark. Take two.

Oh the doctor he draws circles
up and down my chart.
I'd ask him what the matter was,
but my coated lungs won't talk.
Well the nurses treat me kindly,
and I know they really try,
but deep inside my heart
I fear I'm gonna die.
Oh, mama, can this really be the end?
To be stuck in Adams County with pneumonic plague again.

Well Piper, he's in the prairie,
with his deadly tubes and gas,
speaking to the sheriff,
who says this too will pass.
And I begged him don't explode them,
treat your Mother well,
But he just thanked the rodents,
and blew the cops to hell.
Oh, mama, can this really be the end?
To be stuck in Adams County with pneumonic plague again.

Mona tried to tell me
to stay away from the fence line.
She said that on the squirrels,
the fleas can breed just fine.
An' I said, "Oh I didn't know that,
But then again there's only one I've met.
And he begged from my canine,
and sent me to the vet."
Oh, mama, can this really be the end?
To be stuck in Adams County with pneumonic plague again.

(harmonica solo)

(cough)

(thud)
 
2014-07-13 03:56:28 PM  
Pneumonic plague? Is this a plague that helps you remember lists or facts?
 
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