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(The Consumerist)   If you are pooping on the top of trains as they pass by, the Massachusetts police would like you to stop   (consumerist.com) divider line 48
    More: Sick, defecations, Uxbridge, trains  
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6015 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2014 at 6:18 AM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-07-12 06:39:19 AM  
6 votes:

syrynxx: You can't just stop someone from pooping if they're mid-poop.  If you've already started pooping on top of a Massachusetts train, please continue to empty your bowels or intestinal damage may result.


The condition known as "blue bowels".
2014-07-12 07:06:02 AM  
4 votes:
Tail Gunner!.
2014-07-12 06:55:56 AM  
4 votes:
This makes the list of "things I never wanted to do until I was told not to do it."
2014-07-12 01:28:19 AM  
4 votes:
if it's wrong to poop on moving trains, then i don't wanna be right.
2014-07-12 01:13:53 AM  
4 votes:
Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.
2014-07-12 10:14:59 AM  
3 votes:
i291.photobucket.com
2014-07-12 07:16:50 AM  
3 votes:
Dave Matthews Band Express?
2014-07-12 01:30:14 AM  
3 votes:
Prime Suspect


i65.photobucket.com
2014-07-12 01:21:34 AM  
3 votes:
Trainspotting?

/Toilet training?
2014-07-12 04:00:49 PM  
2 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-07-12 10:18:07 AM  
2 votes:

zamboni: ...more like the Scattanooga Choo Choo.


That seems more of a Florida thing...

d1kcl3yiuixneo.cloudfront.net
2014-07-12 09:49:37 AM  
2 votes:

lack of warmth: peewinkle: Sorry but I just don't see the possibility of an empty rattle can derailing a freight train if run over.

/Conjunction, junction- what's YOUR function?

[blogs.montclair.edu image 250x210]

The only chance of derailment is see, is if the can gets in the rail switches and don't let the switch close enough. be


If someone's dookie is hard enough to jam the switches, they have bigger issues to worry about, like laying off the damn fiber already.
2014-07-12 07:40:13 AM  
2 votes:
Sounds like the guy has a real loco motive

/I'll show myself out
2014-07-12 07:21:56 AM  
2 votes:
What kind of Masshole would do such a thing? Though police have narrowed the search to this suspect:

splitsider.com
2014-07-12 07:18:55 AM  
2 votes:
...more like the Scattanooga Choo Choo.
2014-07-12 06:58:39 AM  
2 votes:
RR does not stand for restroom
2014-07-12 06:45:46 AM  
2 votes:
Next your going to tell me to stop using dump trucks.
2014-07-12 03:20:57 AM  
2 votes:

doyner: GreenAdder: Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.

Are you sure it isn't Kansas?  I think they call it a Brownback.


Depends on what you eat. Eat enough leafy vegetables, and it becomes a Greenback.
2014-07-12 03:10:46 AM  
2 votes:

GreenAdder: Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.


Are you sure it isn't Kansas?  I think they call it a Brownback.
2014-07-12 02:04:10 AM  
2 votes:
Out of one caboose, onto another.
2014-07-12 01:49:29 AM  
2 votes:
You can't just stop someone from pooping if they're mid-poop.  If you've already started pooping on top of a Massachusetts train, please continue to empty your bowels or intestinal damage may result.
2014-07-12 01:01:13 PM  
1 votes:

BitwiseShift: BalugaJoe: How do they time it?

Exactly. I smell a conspiracy.

[media.salon.com image 750x500]


This thing stinks to high heaven!
2014-07-12 12:09:41 PM  
1 votes:
Don't ask me silly questions; I won't play silly games
I'm just a simple choo-choo train, and I'll always be the same
I only want to race along beneath the bright blu sky,
and if you shiat upon my back I'll watch your children die.
2014-07-12 11:53:12 AM  
1 votes:
I gotta say that the idea of someone shiatting on a moving train makes me laugh my ass off.
2014-07-12 10:50:53 AM  
1 votes:

mcnguyen: Uh, they're mooning the trains, not shiatting on them.  How would that even work?  You sit around hoping you have to take a shiat at the exact time the train comes by?


If a train leaves the station heading west at 45 mph, and you're sitting on the edge of the bridge 20 feet over the track and start pooping when you see the train begin to pass under you, how many cars in length must the train be to ensure that your poop lands on it? Show your work.
2014-07-12 10:26:35 AM  
1 votes:
New item added to bucket list.
2014-07-12 10:07:11 AM  
1 votes:

teenage mutant ninja rapist: Divinegrace: The first question that comes to mind....how do these people wipe? Do they take TP with em or do they just wonder home with a shiatty a$$?

Funny enough that was my first question to. Mabey they pre shiat in a brown bag and simply dump it as the train passes.


The smart money is on plastic, for people on the runs.
2014-07-12 10:01:25 AM  
1 votes:

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Sounds like the guy has a real loco motive

/I'll show myself out


No, no you should stay. That was one of the funnier comments so far.
2014-07-12 09:40:14 AM  
1 votes:

Divinegrace: The first question that comes to mind....how do these people wipe? Do they take TP with em or do they just wonder home with a shiatty a$$?


Funny enough that was my first question to. Mabey they pre shiat in a brown bag and simply dump it as the train passes.
2014-07-12 09:32:49 AM  
1 votes:

BalugaJoe: How do they time it?


Trains are pretty long. You can start to poop at the beginning of the train and have it hit the middle. The trick is to find one of the elusive buggers. Every time people are hit by one you hear about how it came out of nowhere. This must be why they are so sneaky.
2014-07-12 09:26:31 AM  
1 votes:

NutWrench: "I'M THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN!"


Have you been spying on me? I always yell that very saying when I am about to... uh, nevermind.
2014-07-12 09:19:14 AM  
1 votes:
Sorry but I just don't see the possibility of an empty rattle can derailing a freight train if run over.

/Conjunction, junction- what's YOUR function?

blogs.montclair.edu
2014-07-12 09:02:31 AM  
1 votes:

BalugaJoe: How do they time it?


Exactly. I smell a conspiracy.

media.salon.com
2014-07-12 08:37:05 AM  
1 votes:
Yeah, when the train
Left the station
There were two loads
On behind.
2014-07-12 08:18:27 AM  
1 votes:
So that's why the Acela smells like ass, fella!
2014-07-12 08:16:30 AM  
1 votes:
BUTTGHAZI! Thanks Bowelrack Poopain Obuttma
2014-07-12 08:11:22 AM  
1 votes:

mcnguyen: Uh, they're mooning the trains, not shiatting on them.  How would that even work?  You sit around hoping you have to take a shiat at the exact time the train comes by?


Uhhhg....Uggghhhh.... Come On 10:15! Come on! Ughhhhhh!
2014-07-12 07:55:02 AM  
1 votes:
In before "OWS poops on cop cars, therefore Libs approve".
2014-07-12 07:46:42 AM  
1 votes:
Someone has a grudge against trains....
2014-07-12 07:42:10 AM  
1 votes:

doyner: GreenAdder: Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.

Are you sure it isn't Kansas?  I think they call it a Brownback.


http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cleveland+Steamer
aka cleveland steamroller
2014-07-12 07:28:13 AM  
1 votes:

Straight Outta Wells Branch: doyner: GreenAdder: Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.

Are you sure it isn't Kansas?  I think they call it a Brownback.

Depends on what you eat. Eat enough leafy vegetables, and it becomes a Greenback.


Drink a whole bottle of Welches grape juice and report back tomorrow.
2014-07-12 07:18:52 AM  
1 votes:
Not to be confused with the MBTA's usual shiatty service
2014-07-12 07:06:56 AM  
1 votes:
The first question that comes to mind....how do these people wipe? Do they take TP with em or do they just wonder home with a shiatty a$$?
2014-07-12 06:45:00 AM  
1 votes:

GreenAdder: Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.


It's more of an India thing.
2014-07-12 06:41:27 AM  
1 votes:
FTFA: "At times the trains passing through carry hazardous materials, and if the train gets derailed it could cause a HUGE problem." 

I wasn't aware that feces could derail a train. I mean, it's not rhinos doing it.

/Now I have a mental image of a rhino pooping on train tracks burned into my brain.
2014-07-12 06:31:57 AM  
1 votes:
Translation: You're in for a REAL shiatstorm if you're caught in the act, "taggers"!
2014-07-12 06:27:25 AM  
1 votes:
"I'M THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN!"
2014-07-12 02:10:08 AM  
1 votes:
 www.decorandmore.com

I THINK I CAN I THINK I CAN I THINK I CAN.
 
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