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(The Consumerist)   If you are pooping on the top of trains as they pass by, the Massachusetts police would like you to stop   (consumerist.com) divider line 82
    More: Sick, defecations, Uxbridge, trains  
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6039 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2014 at 6:18 AM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



82 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-12 01:13:53 AM  
Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.
 
2014-07-12 01:21:34 AM  
Trainspotting?

/Toilet training?
 
2014-07-12 01:23:35 AM  
Was that wrong?  Should I not have done that?
 
2014-07-12 01:28:19 AM  
if it's wrong to poop on moving trains, then i don't wanna be right.
 
2014-07-12 01:30:14 AM  
Prime Suspect


i65.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-12 01:49:29 AM  
You can't just stop someone from pooping if they're mid-poop.  If you've already started pooping on top of a Massachusetts train, please continue to empty your bowels or intestinal damage may result.
 
2014-07-12 02:04:10 AM  
Out of one caboose, onto another.
 
2014-07-12 02:10:08 AM  
 www.decorandmore.com

I THINK I CAN I THINK I CAN I THINK I CAN.
 
2014-07-12 03:10:46 AM  

GreenAdder: Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.


Are you sure it isn't Kansas?  I think they call it a Brownback.
 
2014-07-12 03:20:57 AM  

doyner: GreenAdder: Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.

Are you sure it isn't Kansas?  I think they call it a Brownback.


Depends on what you eat. Eat enough leafy vegetables, and it becomes a Greenback.
 
2014-07-12 06:27:25 AM  
"I'M THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN!"
 
2014-07-12 06:31:57 AM  
Translation: You're in for a REAL shiatstorm if you're caught in the act, "taggers"!
 
2014-07-12 06:39:19 AM  

syrynxx: You can't just stop someone from pooping if they're mid-poop.  If you've already started pooping on top of a Massachusetts train, please continue to empty your bowels or intestinal damage may result.


The condition known as "blue bowels".
 
2014-07-12 06:41:27 AM  
FTFA: "At times the trains passing through carry hazardous materials, and if the train gets derailed it could cause a HUGE problem." 

I wasn't aware that feces could derail a train. I mean, it's not rhinos doing it.

/Now I have a mental image of a rhino pooping on train tracks burned into my brain.
 
2014-07-12 06:45:00 AM  

GreenAdder: Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.


It's more of an India thing.
 
2014-07-12 06:45:46 AM  
Next your going to tell me to stop using dump trucks.
 
2014-07-12 06:55:56 AM  
This makes the list of "things I never wanted to do until I was told not to do it."
 
2014-07-12 06:58:39 AM  
RR does not stand for restroom
 
2014-07-12 07:06:02 AM  
Tail Gunner!.
 
2014-07-12 07:06:56 AM  
The first question that comes to mind....how do these people wipe? Do they take TP with em or do they just wonder home with a shiatty a$$?
 
2014-07-12 07:16:50 AM  
Dave Matthews Band Express?
 
2014-07-12 07:17:22 AM  
Uh, they're mooning the trains, not shiatting on them.  How would that even work?  You sit around hoping you have to take a shiat at the exact time the train comes by?
 
2014-07-12 07:18:52 AM  
Not to be confused with the MBTA's usual shiatty service
 
2014-07-12 07:18:55 AM  
...more like the Scattanooga Choo Choo.
 
2014-07-12 07:21:56 AM  
What kind of Masshole would do such a thing? Though police have narrowed the search to this suspect:

splitsider.com
 
2014-07-12 07:28:13 AM  

Straight Outta Wells Branch: doyner: GreenAdder: Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.

Are you sure it isn't Kansas?  I think they call it a Brownback.

Depends on what you eat. Eat enough leafy vegetables, and it becomes a Greenback.


Drink a whole bottle of Welches grape juice and report back tomorrow.
 
2014-07-12 07:40:13 AM  
Sounds like the guy has a real loco motive

/I'll show myself out
 
2014-07-12 07:42:10 AM  

doyner: GreenAdder: Everybody knows this is Cleveland behavior.

Are you sure it isn't Kansas?  I think they call it a Brownback.


http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cleveland+Steamer
aka cleveland steamroller
 
2014-07-12 07:46:42 AM  
Someone has a grudge against trains....
 
2014-07-12 07:55:02 AM  
In before "OWS poops on cop cars, therefore Libs approve".
 
2014-07-12 08:00:30 AM  
How do they time it?
 
2014-07-12 08:11:22 AM  

mcnguyen: Uh, they're mooning the trains, not shiatting on them.  How would that even work?  You sit around hoping you have to take a shiat at the exact time the train comes by?


Uhhhg....Uggghhhh.... Come On 10:15! Come on! Ughhhhhh!
 
2014-07-12 08:16:30 AM  
BUTTGHAZI! Thanks Bowelrack Poopain Obuttma
 
2014-07-12 08:17:20 AM  

gggoddammitt: FTFA: "At times the trains passing through carry hazardous materials, and if the train gets derailed it could cause a HUGE problem." 

I wasn't aware that feces could derail a train. I mean, it's not rhinos doing it.

/Now I have a mental image of a rhino pooping on train tracks burned into my brain.


Thanks for the warning.
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-07-12 08:18:27 AM  
So that's why the Acela smells like ass, fella!
 
2014-07-12 08:37:05 AM  
Yeah, when the train
Left the station
There were two loads
On behind.
 
hej
2014-07-12 08:53:45 AM  
Looks like I got exactly the response that I wanted.
 
2014-07-12 08:57:09 AM  
Should apply regardless of what you're dumping.
static.guim.co.uk
 
2014-07-12 08:58:37 AM  
Poop train sounding louder, everybody get on the poop train.
 
2014-07-12 09:02:31 AM  

BalugaJoe: How do they time it?


Exactly. I smell a conspiracy.

media.salon.com
 
2014-07-12 09:11:43 AM  

MBooda: Should apply regardless of what you're dumping.
[static.guim.co.uk image 657x480]


Great film, such a slow burn leading up to frenzied end.
 
2014-07-12 09:15:50 AM  
Uxbridge, MA?  It that even a real place?  *googles*  well, bless my buttons, it is a real place.

maybe they need to spend 2 billion dollars to spur economic development so the yutes have something better to do.  surely they can find the money to stop the train poopers.
 
2014-07-12 09:16:30 AM  

no icon tact: MBooda: Should apply regardless of what you're dumping.
[static.guim.co.uk image 657x480]

Great film, such a slow burn leading up to frenzied end.


what film is that?
 
2014-07-12 09:19:14 AM  
Sorry but I just don't see the possibility of an empty rattle can derailing a freight train if run over.

/Conjunction, junction- what's YOUR function?

blogs.montclair.edu
 
2014-07-12 09:21:47 AM  

danno_to_infinity: no icon tact: MBooda: Should apply regardless of what you're dumping.
[static.guim.co.uk image 657x480]

Great film, such a slow burn leading up to frenzied end.

what film is that?


The Ladykillers (1955), the original Ealing classic, not the meh 2004 Tom Hanks remake.

For years I had nightmares about Alec Guinness's face in The Ladykillers. The nightmares went away in the 1970's, the Star Wars was released and the nightmares came back.
 
2014-07-12 09:26:31 AM  

NutWrench: "I'M THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN!"


Have you been spying on me? I always yell that very saying when I am about to... uh, nevermind.
 
2014-07-12 09:32:49 AM  

BalugaJoe: How do they time it?


Trains are pretty long. You can start to poop at the beginning of the train and have it hit the middle. The trick is to find one of the elusive buggers. Every time people are hit by one you hear about how it came out of nowhere. This must be why they are so sneaky.
 
2014-07-12 09:40:14 AM  

Divinegrace: The first question that comes to mind....how do these people wipe? Do they take TP with em or do they just wonder home with a shiatty a$$?


Funny enough that was my first question to. Mabey they pre shiat in a brown bag and simply dump it as the train passes.
 
2014-07-12 09:40:27 AM  

peewinkle: Sorry but I just don't see the possibility of an empty rattle can derailing a freight train if run over.

/Conjunction, junction- what's YOUR function?

[blogs.montclair.edu image 250x210]


The only chance of derailment is see, is if the can gets in the rail switches and don't let the switch close enough.
 
2014-07-12 09:45:06 AM  

BalugaJoe: How do they time it?


Exactly, must be an inside job. Trains never run on time...
 
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