If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Orlando Sentinel)   Tourist leaves a few tips for Disney employees after getting on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 75
    More: Florida  
•       •       •

13975 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jul 2014 at 8:53 PM (9 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-07-11 06:27:30 PM
Duh.  "Keep your arms and hands inside of the boat at all times."  They only repeat it fifty billion times a minute there.
 
2014-07-11 06:30:29 PM
33.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-11 06:40:06 PM
Disney spokeswoman Andrea Finger confirmed the accident and said the ride was briefly closed and has since been reopened.

Why couldn't her name be Anita.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-07-11 08:08:47 PM
Disney spokeswoman Andrea Finger confirmed the accident

Best spokescritter name since USN Lt. Kafka gave briefings on Guantanamo detainees.
 
2014-07-11 09:01:50 PM
Done in two.
 
2014-07-11 09:01:53 PM
but Finger said guests are warned to keep hands and feet inside the ride.

I'm taking crazy pills!

/her sister is the new Bond girl
//Gimeetha
 
2014-07-11 09:03:13 PM
As I recall, I would willingly loose a few fingers to get out of the "it's a small world" ride.
 
2014-07-11 09:06:08 PM
I wonder how far in there he was sticking his hands. You'd have to really be reaching to get your fingers crunched. This didn't happen by accident- he was deliberately sticking his hand in there.
 
2014-07-11 09:06:27 PM

ZAZ: Disney spokeswoman Andrea Finger confirmed the accident

Best spokescritter name since USN Lt. Kafka gave briefings on Guantanamo detainees.


THIS40
 
2014-07-11 09:08:46 PM

akula: I wonder how far in there he was sticking his hands. You'd have to really be reaching to get your fingers crunched. This didn't happen by accident- he was deliberately sticking his hand in there.


He had to have been reaching under the boat.  It doesn't seem like it would pinch you unless you had your hand underwater.
 
2014-07-11 09:08:48 PM
I've been on that ride.
 
2014-07-11 09:09:56 PM

akula: I wonder how far in there he was sticking his hands. You'd have to really be reaching to get your fingers crunched. This didn't happen by accident- he was deliberately sticking his hand in there.


That's what I want to know too. I was just on the damn thing and you'd have to practically crawl under the boat to find a pinch spot. How'd he do that???
 
2014-07-11 09:13:15 PM
Touching situation. Going to point the finger at his negligence. Got to hand it to him for fingering the right ride. He offers a good tip on the rides at Disney, I'm sure.
 
2014-07-11 09:14:04 PM
A mohel pirate... that would get people to surrender pretty quick.
 
2014-07-11 09:14:51 PM
i.lvme.me
 
2014-07-11 09:15:10 PM
I confess, I read the story and was like... tips? I don't get.... ooooooh.
 
2014-07-11 09:16:14 PM

whither_apophis: A mohel pirate... that would get people to surrender pretty quick.


I don't know why. Instead of taking all the booty he just takes a little off the top.
 
2014-07-11 09:20:35 PM

dolphinsgonwild: As I recall, I would willingly loose a few fingers to get out of the "it's a small world" ride.


I always wondered why they housed all those prisoners at Gitmo when if you wanted to extract info from them all ya would have to do is strap em into that ride and run em through till they gave up what ya wanted to know
 
2014-07-11 09:22:36 PM
So you really need someone to tell you to not shove your hands into the moving shiat that can slice off your hand?? Even though they told you to several times? What are they supposed to do?.

When I was in the 7th grade my gf and I jumped down the bottomless pit in Injun Joes Cave at Tom Sawyer's Isle, and while I did get a BJ, I didn't cum... but I didn't sue. Assholes.

They may have changed the name of the cave nowadays.
 
2014-07-11 09:24:39 PM

optikeye: Disney spokeswoman Andrea Finger confirmed the accident and said the ride was briefly closed and has since been reopened.

Why couldn't her name be Anita.


You mean to tell me there was no one else in the entire Disney organization who could have relayed this message to the press besides Andrea Finger?? They did this on purpose and are laughing hysterically somewhere.
 
2014-07-11 09:25:03 PM
Por favor manténganse alejado de las puertas X 5,000
 
2014-07-11 09:27:36 PM
Were they able to fish out the fingertips, or are they still floating around in there somewhere?
 
2014-07-11 09:28:05 PM
www.gifwave.com
 
2014-07-11 09:29:42 PM
HEADLINE CRITIQUE: It's clear that this headline was constructed to derive humor from the unexpected. When most people read about someone leaving a tip, we assume that it will be some sort of extra cash payment to express appreciation and gratitude for good service. However, this headline pulls a "switcheroo" - the tip isn't actually an extra payment, but rather, the tips of some fingers. HA HA HA! Deriving humor from the unexpected...one of the most effective ways of eliciting a laugh from the reader.

Here's the problem with the wording of the headline, though. The subject is "tourist". Singular. However in the headline, "tips" is plural. Hmmm...when a single person is finished at a single location, they will usually leave a tip, singular. Even when the tip is split up between say a waiter and a busboy, the patron doesn't control that, so the tip is still usually referred to in the singular. By using the phrase "leaves a few tips" (plural), the astute reader can sense that something isn't quite right. While I wouldn't go so far as to say that the phrasing ruined the humorous effect of the headline, I will say that it took away at least some of the surprise, lessening the impact of the unexpected.

I'm not one to criticize anything without offering up a solution, so this is what I've done. I have assigned a team of my best comedy writers to work on putting together a new headline that would have the highest degree of humor that can be extracted from this news article. Here is the headline they developed: Pricipal . Caught sayof school that has stoped Handstandsing " See, told ya so" Is He dead or not. CNN Says yes. St. Pete Times Looking for chads -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for answer again"

You're welcome.
 
2014-07-11 09:31:11 PM

insano: optikeye: Disney spokeswoman Andrea Finger confirmed the accident and said the ride was briefly closed and has since been reopened.

Why couldn't her name be Anita.

You mean to tell me there was no one else in the entire Disney organization who could have relayed this message to the press besides Andrea Finger?? They did this on purpose and are laughing hysterically somewhere.


Probably because Ivana Fisterbottom was busy?
 
2014-07-11 09:32:05 PM
I don't think it happened like the guy says.

He was probably trying to get out of the boat, and ran straight into the razor blades the park tack-welds all over the unseen sides of the props to keep people away from effing with them.

Never get out of the boat.

Unless you're going all the way.
 
2014-07-11 09:33:31 PM

optikeye: Disney spokeswoman Andrea Finger confirmed the accident and said the ride was briefly closed and has since been reopened.

Why couldn't her name be Anita.


What are the odds, eh? I've never met or even read about someone with the surname Finger.... and the first time, it pops up in this story.

// why didn't they just take the guy back to headquarters?

img.fark.net

// I knew a guy with the surname Neck
// what an awful surname
//// I hope he's an Al Jazeera reporter now
 
2014-07-11 09:37:37 PM
LOL! The name of the spokeswoman, Ms. Finger HAHAHAHAH! Such a sad coincidence HAHAHAHHA :D

Oh well that guy's gonna earn a few thousand dollars, or millions! Lucky him!
 
2014-07-11 09:38:51 PM
disneydose.com

Too bad there was nothing else for him to hold on to.
 
2014-07-11 09:39:07 PM
As someone who had his hand severed and surgically reattached, this headline is hilarious.
 
2014-07-11 09:39:09 PM
Disney does indeed warn all riders to keep hand and other extremities inside the boat. However, we all know people are f*ing stupid. Case in point: I was riding Pirates in Disneyland last year and there was a family sittin in front of us with a 18-month old tbat they were letting crawl around on the bench seat. We're getting close to the initial drop and they're still letting the baby crawl around. I ask them if they know that there are drops in the ride and they said yes, grabbing and securing the baby when we're stopped and ready to drop. So...yeah. Dumbasses everywhere...
 
2014-07-11 09:39:25 PM

insano: optikeye: Disney spokeswoman Andrea Finger confirmed the accident and said the ride was briefly closed and has since been reopened.

Why couldn't her name be Anita.

You mean to tell me there was no one else in the entire Disney organization who could have relayed this message to the press besides Andrea Finger?? They did this on purpose and are laughing hysterically somewhere.


Yep, and you could just imagine the same senior management PR pranskters giving Finger the gig. And she'd be all "aww fellas, no farking way, can't Smyth do this one....?" and they'd be all "nope, sorry, Finger...."
 
2014-07-11 09:42:02 PM

fusillade762: [disneydose.com image 500x336]

Too bad there was nothing else for him to hold on to.


Drink the water, Lisa.

farm7.staticflickr.com
 
2014-07-11 09:43:09 PM
www.thehealthygamer.com
 
2014-07-11 09:43:31 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-11 09:48:45 PM
You know who else liked boat rides, dealt with pirates and lost their fingers?

cdn3.whatculture.com
 
2014-07-11 09:50:53 PM

Danger Avoid Death: [www.thehealthygamer.com image 510x415]


niiiiice
 
2014-07-11 10:00:46 PM
"Hey honey! Look at those five--OW! I mean three--pirates over there!"
 
2014-07-11 10:02:00 PM
Why do I get the feeling he was.......uneducated?
 
2014-07-11 10:03:18 PM
Just two days ago I rode the Leviathan at Canada's Wonderland, and for the past two nights I have been falling asleep with a "falling" feeling going on in my head.  It feels like how people describe vertigo - as soon as I close my eyes, I feel like I'm on that first drop and I'm just falling at insane speeds, like I'm experiencing a red-out.  It is kinda cool, but kinda annoying and disorienting.
 
2014-07-11 10:05:27 PM
legacy-cdn.smosh.com

This made me chuckle.
 
2014-07-11 10:07:21 PM
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com

As did this one.
 
2014-07-11 10:15:48 PM

Big Ramifications: // I knew a guy with the surname Neck
// what an awful surname
//// I hope he's an Al Jazeera reporter now


That needs to be a limerick.
 
2014-07-11 10:18:21 PM
I'm 6'2", and I there are a number of rides I could have lost a hand on.  The Alpengeist at Busch Gardens comes to mind.  Keep your extremities tucked in at all times.
 
2014-07-11 10:21:05 PM
 
2014-07-11 10:22:32 PM

missmez: Duh.  "Keep your arms and hands inside of the boat at all times."  They only repeat it fifty billion times a minute there.

The exact wording of the safety message was not immediately available but Finger said guests are warned to keep hands and feet inside the ride.


First, your return to Motel 6 was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement so I  must do nothing. And secondly, you must be a  pirate for the safety message to apply and you're  not. And thirdly, the safety message is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual  rules. Welcome aboard.
 
2014-07-11 10:34:02 PM
I would like to know this persons career. Clearly, it is not something that involves bodily safety precautions.
 
2014-07-11 10:38:01 PM

optikeye: Disney spokeswoman Andrea Finger confirmed the accident and said the ride was briefly closed and has since been reopened.

Why couldn't her name be Anita.


Mrs. A. Finger.

/close enough?
 
2014-07-11 10:40:36 PM

Atomic Spunk: HEADLINE CRITIQUE: It's clear that this headline was constructed to derive humor from the unexpected. When most people read about someone leaving a tip, we assume that it will be some sort of extra cash payment to express appreciation and gratitude for good service. However, this headline pulls a "switcheroo" - the tip isn't actually an extra payment, but rather, the tips of some fingers. HA HA HA! Deriving humor from the unexpected...one of the most effective ways of eliciting a laugh from the reader.

Here's the problem with the wording of the headline, though. The subject is "tourist". Singular. However in the headline, "tips" is plural. Hmmm...when a single person is finished at a single location, they will usually leave a tip, singular. Even when the tip is split up between say a waiter and a busboy, the patron doesn't control that, so the tip is still usually referred to in the singular. By using the phrase "leaves a few tips" (plural), the astute reader can sense that something isn't quite right. While I wouldn't go so far as to say that the phrasing ruined the humorous effect of the headline, I will say that it took away at least some of the surprise, lessening the impact of the unexpected.

I'm not one to criticize anything without offering up a solution, so this is what I've done. I have assigned a team of my best comedy writers to work on putting together a new headline that would have the highest degree of humor that can be extracted from this news article. Here is the headline they developed: Pricipal . Caught sayof school that has stoped Handstandsing " See, told ya so" Is He dead or not. CNN Says yes. St. Pete Times Looking for chads -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for answer again"

You're welcome.


This first paragraph I was like, "Really?"

Then the second paragraph I was like, "oh, this is going somewhere"

And then the third paragraph, well I was "this is comedy gold! " ...
 
2014-07-11 10:46:08 PM
www.storminforms.com
You know who else got fingered on an amusement park ride?
 
Displayed 50 of 75 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report