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(Metro)   Signs you're definitely too drunk   (metro.co.uk) divider line 91
    More: PSA, Blue Nun  
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8053 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jul 2014 at 8:05 PM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-11 05:04:01 PM  
You nuke the entire Politics thread?
 
2014-07-11 05:28:43 PM  

phlegmmo: You nuke the entire Politics thread?


Heh. This deserves both a funny and smart.
 
2014-07-11 06:15:04 PM  
You jump in front of a moving semi and scream "I'm onto your sh*t, Optimus Prime!"
 
2014-07-11 06:16:08 PM  
I don't often say this, but... Done in one.
 
2014-07-11 07:42:21 PM  

phlegmmo: You nuke the entire Politics thread?


Heh... I was still lurking back then, but I remember that being an absolutely hilarious night
 
2014-07-11 08:08:14 PM  
you try to sleep it off in a condominium parking lot
 
2014-07-11 08:11:00 PM  

phlegmmo: You nuke the entire Politics thread?


I still think he should have received a Nobel prize, Presidential medal or something for that great service, if he had permanently obliterated it he should have qualified for lifetime exemption from income tax or something


/then again maybe its for the best that we try to contain the derp in one area
 
2014-07-11 08:11:10 PM  
You've been drinking heavy all night, went to the bathroom at least 4 times, and never left the couch?
 
2014-07-11 08:11:25 PM  
You answer my emails.
 
2014-07-11 08:11:35 PM  
19. You wake up with something oddly shaped inserted into a bodily orifice, and you're posting on Fark.
 
2014-07-11 08:15:53 PM  
I wasn't aware that was an actual thing
 
2014-07-11 08:16:31 PM  

strangeluck: 19. You wake up with something oddly shaped inserted into a bodily orifice, and you're posting on Fark.


Or, as I call it ... "Tuesday".
 
2014-07-11 08:16:51 PM  
farking subby's mom
 
2014-07-11 08:17:01 PM  
Five dollars / month.
 
2014-07-11 08:17:31 PM  
20. You find yourself standing over the kitchen sink at 3am shoving velveta cheese in you face and liking it
 
2014-07-11 08:18:20 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: strangeluck: 19. You wake up with something oddly shaped inserted into a bodily orifice, and you're posting on Fark.

Or, as I call it ... "Tuesday".


I call it Monday through Saturday, and twice on Sunday.
 
2014-07-11 08:18:23 PM  

dolphinsgonwild: 20. You find yourself standing over the kitchen sink at 3am shoving velveta cheese in you face and liking it


I think it's cute that you call Velveeta "cheese".
 
2014-07-11 08:18:56 PM  
I didn't see "flashing your boobs" or "peeing your pants" anywhere on that list.
 
2014-07-11 08:19:39 PM  
You've accidentally busted a hole in the drywall....

....because you thought it was a good idea to try and climb the walls in the hallway.

/not that I would know anything about that
 
2014-07-11 08:20:07 PM  
i305.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-11 08:20:19 PM  
To lazy to turn it from the SyFy channel
 
2014-07-11 08:20:20 PM  
A statement I allegedly made once: You look fuzzy, you must be drunk.
 
2014-07-11 08:21:14 PM  
Hey, until someone (i.e., me) comes in, farks your wife, farks your teenage daughter, eats your food, drinks your booze, kicks your dog (but still pets them) and steals the $$$$ from your wallet? Call me.
 
2014-07-11 08:22:01 PM  

danno_to_infinity: you try to sleep it off in a condominium parking lot


I came within a few seconds of sleeping it off on the ground at the back door of my house after being dropped off by the "designated driver".  While lying there, starting to get comfy, my second to last thought of the night was that I would probably freeze to death (December in Oklahoma).  My last thought of the night was to put my fist through the window of the back door so I could unlock it ("DD" had my keys).  Woke up in the afternoon on the couch - first thought was about the last thought and I looked at my hands to see if I had bled to death.  A scratch on a knuckle.  Looked at the back door - window broken, glass on the floor.
 
2014-07-11 08:22:02 PM  
www.comediva.com
 
2014-07-11 08:22:40 PM  
media.tumblr.com
wtf am I looking at
Is that a bottlesicle?
 
2014-07-11 08:23:17 PM  

dolphinsgonwild: 20. You find yourself standing over the kitchen sink at 3am shoving velveta cheese in you face and liking it


I thought that was from being too stoned. I may know about this.
 
2014-07-11 08:23:43 PM  

farkingismybusiness: [www.comediva.com image 450x327]


That's a good question. I certainly can't do that.
 
2014-07-11 08:24:45 PM  

dolphinsgonwild: 20. You find yourself standing over the kitchen sink at 3am shoving velveta cheese in you face and liking it


21:

funnyhot.net
 
2014-07-11 08:27:52 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: dolphinsgonwild: 20. You find yourself standing over the kitchen sink at 3am shoving velveta cheese in you face and liking it

I think it's cute that you call Velveeta "cheese".


Because government processed Cheese-like substitute is too long to write.
 
2014-07-11 08:30:11 PM  

dolphinsgonwild: Danger Avoid Death: dolphinsgonwild: 20. You find yourself standing over the kitchen sink at 3am shoving velveta cheese in you face and liking it

I think it's cute that you call Velveeta "cheese".

Because government processed Cheese-like substitute is too long to write.


I see you're into that whole brevity thing, Dude.
 
2014-07-11 08:30:29 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: dolphinsgonwild: 20. You find yourself standing over the kitchen sink at 3am shoving velveta cheese in you face and liking it

21:

[funnyhot.net image 597x749]


what a bunch of asshats!
/God that's funny!!!
//until it happens to me, of course.
 
2014-07-11 08:30:37 PM  
19. You decide to write a buzzfeed style list article.
 
2014-07-11 08:32:23 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: dolphinsgonwild: Danger Avoid Death: dolphinsgonwild: 20. You find yourself standing over the kitchen sink at 3am shoving velveta cheese in you face and liking it

I think it's cute that you call Velveeta "cheese".

Because government processed Cheese-like substitute is too long to write.

I see you're into that whole brevity thing, Dude.


Si
 
2014-07-11 08:39:24 PM  

phlegmmo: You nuke the entire Politics thread?


By your command.
 
2014-07-11 08:41:30 PM  

dolphinsgonwild: You've been drinking heavy all night, went to the bathroom at least 4 times, and never left the couch?


Eeewwwwwww
 
2014-07-11 08:41:49 PM  
that "article" sucked; writer must have been drunk
 
2014-07-11 08:42:31 PM  

Destructor: phlegmmo: You nuke the entire Politics thread?

By your command.


Also, challenge: Accepted.
 
2014-07-11 08:48:02 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: phlegmmo: You nuke the entire Politics thread?

Heh... I was still lurking back then, but I remember that being an absolutely hilarious night


Sounds like one of those Epic Moments In Fark History ®.  When did this event occur?
 
2014-07-11 08:50:08 PM  
You drop your pizza slice onto 6th street in Austin, pick it up, and proceed to eat it anyway.
 
2014-07-11 08:50:21 PM  

SansNeural: danno_to_infinity: you try to sleep it off in a condominium parking lot

I came within a few seconds of sleeping it off on the ground at the back door of my house after being dropped off by the "designated driver".  While lying there, starting to get comfy, my second to last thought of the night was that I would probably freeze to death (December in Oklahoma).  My last thought of the night was to put my fist through the window of the back door so I could unlock it ("DD" had my keys).  Woke up in the afternoon on the couch - first thought was about the last thought and I looked at my hands to see if I had bled to death.  A scratch on a knuckle.  Looked at the back door - window broken, glass on the floor.


And your last thought after you found the keys in the other pocket?


/also, guys, if you want to laugh, GIS Go home you're drunk
 
2014-07-11 08:50:40 PM  

danno_to_infinity: MaudlinMutantMollusk: phlegmmo: You nuke the entire Politics thread?

Heh... I was still lurking back then, but I remember that being an absolutely hilarious night

Sounds like one of those Epic Moments In Fark History ®.  When did this event occur?


Here you go
 
2014-07-11 08:53:44 PM  

dolphinsgonwild: You've been drinking heavy all night, went to the bathroom at least 4 times, and never left the couch?


I'd appreciate it if :

1) you stopped watching me through the vents when my GF is out of yown
2) stop judging me and join me instead

You can take the clean couch or officr chair if you want
 
2014-07-11 08:56:19 PM  

Resident Muslim: SansNeural: danno_to_infinity: you try to sleep it off in a condominium parking lot

I came within a few seconds of sleeping it off on the ground at the back door of my house after being dropped off by the "designated driver".  While lying there, starting to get comfy, my second to last thought of the night was that I would probably freeze to death (December in Oklahoma).  My last thought of the night was to put my fist through the window of the back door so I could unlock it ("DD" had my keys).  Woke up in the afternoon on the couch - first thought was about the last thought and I looked at my hands to see if I had bled to death.  A scratch on a knuckle.  Looked at the back door - window broken, glass on the floor.

And your last thought after you found the keys in the other pocket?


Might have made my story better, but it didn't happen that way.  No keys.
 
2014-07-11 08:56:55 PM  
My answer to "its 9 o'clock and you're already drunk?" Was apparently: "you're nine o'clock!"
 
2014-07-11 08:58:22 PM  
Heey... this bottle of JW red is empty.  No way, I had half a bottle...   where did I put it, this isn't it.
 
2014-07-11 08:59:27 PM  
Does this have something to do with the showing up at random areas of the frontpage when I backspace, or have I had too much to drink?
 
2014-07-11 09:01:48 PM  
That was lame. I bet it would be funny if I was drunk though.
 
2014-07-11 09:03:21 PM  
Your working with the servers for Fark.
 
2014-07-11 09:07:02 PM  
Your car runs smoother, your mother in law seems nice and you are positive your wife won't mind you getting a beejee from her best friend.
 
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