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(Newser)   News: Guy steals $460,000. Fark: In quarters. Farked up: And he only has to pay back half of it   (newser.com) divider line 53
    More: Asinine  
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5581 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jul 2014 at 5:13 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



53 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-11 03:31:54 PM  
Well, he convinced the judge he's a changed man.

/punchline of my rejected headline
 
2014-07-11 05:15:08 PM  

toraque: Well, he convinced the judge he's a changed man.

/punchline of my rejected headline


Missed it by THAT much.
 
2014-07-11 05:17:51 PM  
mediamemo.allthingsd.com
 
2014-07-11 05:18:12 PM  
It would have been funnier if they had only made him pay back a quarter of it.
 
2014-07-11 05:19:55 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-11 05:25:10 PM  

SpdrJay: It would have been funnier if they had only made him pay back a quarter of it.


*shakes tiny fist*

cretinbob: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 300x180]


*shakes other tiny fist*
 
2014-07-11 05:26:23 PM  
Worst case of Pac-man fever I've ever seen.
 
2014-07-11 05:27:50 PM  
gonna use dimes? that's only 40%.
 
2014-07-11 05:28:57 PM  
how does thief gets to keep the stolen property?

how does this discourage other thieves?
 
2014-07-11 05:31:31 PM  

WhyKnot: how does thief gets to keep the stolen property?

how does this discourage other thieves?


I know, it makes no cents at all!
 
2014-07-11 05:31:42 PM  
He's the guy who started the pants below your ass craze.
 
2014-07-11 05:33:19 PM  
It would be even better the judge made him roll it all and THEN return it.
 
2014-07-11 05:34:19 PM  
Most of me thinks this is crazy, but 1/4 of me thinks this is the perfect sentence.
 
2014-07-11 05:35:38 PM  

WhyKnot: how does thief gets to keep the stolen property?

how does this discourage other thieves?


Law isn't there to discourage criminals.
 
2014-07-11 05:38:16 PM  
From parking meters?

/not obscure I'm sure....
 
2014-07-11 05:38:36 PM  
. Prosecutor Daniel Keitel defended the deal by saying that if they'd gone to trial, Rica may have gone to jail, but he wouldn't have had to return any money at all. This deal will "get as much of the money back to the public as quickly as possible," he said.

LOL. The career prospects of a man convicted of a crime of moral turpitude are zero. The odds that anything substantial gets paid back are next to none. It is probably better than locking him up which would sink the taxpayer in more deeply into the hole but the idea that the money will be paid back is noncents.
 
2014-07-11 05:39:19 PM  

WhyKnot: how does this discourage other thieves?


Well they didn't get to keep their loot, and they had to go to jail. That's gotta be discouraging.
 
2014-07-11 05:43:11 PM  
Simpsons did it.........well not technically but close enough.


 img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-11 05:43:23 PM  
Sounds like this judge has presided over some Wall Street cases.
 
2014-07-11 05:48:16 PM  
Let me guess . . . political appointee.

Yup, nailed it.
 
2014-07-11 05:50:39 PM  
Actually, he has to pay back 54.34782608695652% of it.
 
2014-07-11 06:08:13 PM  
It sounds like the prosecutor had the right idea but he failed to realize that just because the guy isn't going to jail and has agreed to pay the money back doesn't mean he will actually pay it back. The only thing guaranteed now is that the guy won't go to jail despite stealing over $400,000.00
 
2014-07-11 06:23:07 PM  
If he'd stolen half-dollars he'd have to pay the whole thing.
 
2014-07-11 06:25:48 PM  
Idiot. You're supposed to use pennies (youtube, fairly SFW). Takes too long to spend all those quarters.
 
2014-07-11 06:26:11 PM  
Maybe he just had a lot of laundry to do.
 
2014-07-11 06:30:08 PM  
I hope he pays it back in $2 bills and Taco Bell coupons.
 
2014-07-11 06:34:40 PM  
250/460 is a 54% compared to the big banks that pay only low single digit percentages back of what they steal that's enormous. Furthermore, that's better than most government employee thefts. Now private employee thefts often net zero back.

Crime does pay in this country, especially for those willing to do a few years in prison for millions or billions of dollars.
 
2014-07-11 06:38:14 PM  
For those interested: per  Wolfram Alpha that's about 10 tons of quarters.

//Mass of a US quarter is 5.27 grams
 
2014-07-11 06:39:28 PM  
Guy a wall street banker or something?
 
2014-07-11 06:40:22 PM  
Those Coinstar fees are brutal
 
2014-07-11 06:43:18 PM  
The moral of the story is this: If you're going to steal, steal big. Only the petty thieves go to jail.
 
2014-07-11 06:50:52 PM  
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2014-07-11 06:59:14 PM  

MrTDGoodrich: For those interested: per  Wolfram Alpha that's about 10 tons of quarters.

//Mass of a US quarter is 5.27 grams


TEN TONS of quarters?

Maybe the judge figures that's punishment enough.
 
2014-07-11 07:01:15 PM  

Earthworm Jim Jones: It would be even better the judge made him roll it all and THEN return it.


Sure, that would be 46,000 rolls consisting of a wrapper, two quarters, and a wood dowel in the middle.
 
2014-07-11 07:11:22 PM  
How do you spend/save that amount of quarters? It seems to me that if you went to your local bank on a regular basis with bucketsful of quarters to deposit in your personal account the bank would report such suspicious activity to the authorities. And quarters aren't practical for cash purchases of anything more expensive than lunch off the dollar menu. My guess is he had a partner who owned a business like a vending machine company or convenience store who would launder the money in exchange for a substantial kickback.
 
2014-07-11 07:25:46 PM  
Had to give back half a quarter?  I don't care one bit.
 
2014-07-11 07:37:44 PM  

reported: How do you spend/save that amount of quarters? It seems to me that if you went to your local bank on a regular basis with bucketsful of quarters to deposit in your personal account the bank would report such suspicious activity to the authorities. And quarters aren't practical for cash purchases of anything more expensive than lunch off the dollar menu. My guess is he had a partner who owned a business like a vending machine company or convenience store who would launder the money in exchange for a substantial kickback.


Find a casino that hasn't completely converted to paper tickets. They will be more than happy to cash them in, and in some cases you can put them into the coin counter yourself. Worst case scenario: use a Coinstar machine and give up a percentage of your money.
 
2014-07-11 07:44:15 PM  
That works out to about 29,000 pounds  I would be interested in seeing how he managed to carry it off, and how he disposed of it once he stole it.  You have to admit, carrying 500 Lb. of quarters to the bank every week is a little suspicious.
 
2014-07-11 08:10:10 PM  
... with a helpful image of what a bunch of quarters might look like.
 
2014-07-11 08:36:12 PM  

olddinosaur: That works out to about 29,000 pounds  I would be interested in seeing how he managed to carry it off, and how he disposed of it once he stole it.  You have to admit, carrying 500 Lb. of quarters to the bank every week is a little suspicious.


It was laundry money.
 
2014-07-11 08:40:03 PM  
$460,000 in quarters.... GAWD that would have been fun as a kid in the arcades.
 
2014-07-11 08:44:41 PM  
Rica may have gone to jail, but he wouldn't have had to return any money at all.

LOLWUT.JPG

I didn't realize that was an either/or thing.  In non-retarded states, they do the jail time in a criminal case and restitution in a civil case.  Way to lower the bar, Jersey.
 
2014-07-11 09:02:14 PM  
i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-11 09:06:24 PM  
"Boys, let's do the Big Dirty"
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-11 09:06:56 PM  

TheMega: $460,000 in quarters.... GAWD that would have been fun as a kid in the arcades.


Subscribe, newsletter.....

i291.photobucket.com

i291.photobucket.com

i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-11 09:35:58 PM  
shiat, this means you can go to Jersey, steal from them, and you get to keep half with no jail sentence?

Why not just save the taxpayer money and court time and just give me money. Let's assume I was initially going to steal $30 million.

I'll be waiting for your check, guidos.
 
2014-07-11 09:56:35 PM  
So he's being taxed for it.
 
2014-07-11 10:08:44 PM  
Why not use credit cards for the meters.  You only need one meter for every 10 or so spaces.
 
2014-07-11 11:29:09 PM  

Nutsac_Jim: Why not use credit cards for the meters.  You only need one meter for every 10 or so spaces.


That's what we have in Seattle. Pay in credit card or quarters, get back a receipt with a sticker, place on window. Hardly any just quarter single posts left.
 
2014-07-11 11:35:24 PM  
Guy in the comments nails it:

My theory is that Tom is taking the fall for a bunch of people. I bet taking quarters was a rampant problem, he got caught and took the hit for everyone. He plead guilty to taking $460,000 over three different occasions. It's just not physically possible. A million quarters takes some real big pockets to carry.
 
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