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(Mirror.co.uk)   Weird but useful health tips: eating a greasy burger prevents jet lag, and chewing on olives cures seasickness. Share some of yours   (mirror.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Interesting, blisters, hiccups, jet lag, mouthwashes, lemons, high blood pressure, Listerine, wiping  
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556 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 11 Jul 2014 at 5:27 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-11 01:54:32 PM  
www.theshiznit.co.uk
 
2014-07-11 01:56:52 PM  
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
 
2014-07-11 02:01:18 PM  
Don't listen to Ted Stryker's stories.
 
2014-07-11 02:14:55 PM  
Board long flights while pass-out drunk. You'll wake up in your destination feeling refreshed.
 
2014-07-11 02:23:51 PM  
for better "service" on flights, give the flight attendents (male or female) a firm smack on the ass as they walk by and confidently say "'sup?".
 
2014-07-11 02:26:56 PM  
Take the barf-bag from the airplane with you, if you haven't used it. Mix up some oatmeal, and put it in the barf-bag. The bags are wax-lined, so it won't soak through. Grab a spoon, and enjoy your breakfast in front of people.
 
2014-07-11 02:30:29 PM  
Pretend to speak only Jive when passing through customs and immigration. International airports are legally obligated to have a Jive interpreter on duty, so you zip right through the crowds.
 
2014-07-11 02:31:18 PM  

EngineerBoy: [www.theshiznit.co.uk image 476x200]


Over in one.

Also:

Xanax and an adult beverage will make you sleep like a baby during a flight, and you will wake up refreshed.  (And you don't wake up groggy like you would with over the counter sleeping meds....speak from personal experience.)

Clonazepam can help you get over jet lag and the time change when you arrive at your destination.
 
2014-07-11 02:33:13 PM  
Minibottles are small enough to meet the TSA's guidelines. A few belts of 80 proof take the edge off flying.
 
2014-07-11 02:44:35 PM  
uhhhh... uhhh... GET LOADED/shiat IN DRINK CART.... DAMMIT

no damn good under pressure.
 
2014-07-11 02:58:43 PM  

The_Sponge: Xanax and an adult beverage will make you sleep like a baby during a flight, and you will wake up refreshed.  (And you don't wake up groggy like you would with over the counter sleeping meds....speak from personal experience.)


Not having easy access to xanax, I've done this many times with diphenhydramine.  Couple of vodkas and a dose of diphenhydramine and I wake up feeling great on the other side of the ocean, just in time for landing.
 
2014-07-11 03:03:13 PM  
Scratching an itch is better than not scratching it.
 
2014-07-11 03:26:58 PM  
If you keep your empty liquor bottles under the driver's seat, only buy booze that comes in square bottles.
That way, they don't all roll forward if you have to come to a sudden stop.
 
2014-07-11 03:29:46 PM  
If your ears are congested during a flight, the easiest way to pop them is masturbating. Use the barf bag as concealment if you need to and you should feel them *pop* right as you climax.
 
2014-07-11 03:36:46 PM  
CSB:

'When you go to a crack whore, make sure you don't give her the rock until you're done with her, otherwise she'll just pass out and won't be any good.'

Actual advice I was once given by a dude who looked like it was the most sage wisdom he possessed.  Why he felt I needed to know this is still beyond me.

/I mean, it's pretty obvious, really
 
2014-07-11 05:58:48 PM  

toraque: 'When you go to a crack whore, make sure you don't give her the rock until you're done with her, otherwise she'll just pass out and won't be any good.'

Actual advice I was once given by a dude who looked like it was the most sage wisdom he possessed.  Why he felt I needed to know this is still beyond me.


You missed your chance to respond: "I don't know, man. I kind of like them better when they're passed out."
 
2014-07-11 06:03:24 PM  
Never pass up a chance to pee.  NEVER
 
2014-07-11 06:21:25 PM  
Don't fly United Airlines, unless you have an extra day of vacation to burn.
 
2014-07-11 06:38:29 PM  

doublesecretprobation: for better "service" on flights, give the flight attendents (male or female) a firm smack on the ass as they walk by and confidently say "'sup?".


Save some breath, Virgin Airlines attendents have heard all the jokes.  Trust me.
 
2014-07-11 07:21:39 PM  

scottydoesntknow: If your ears are congested during a flight, the easiest way to pop them is masturbating. Use the barf bag as concealment if you need to and you should feel them *pop* right as you climax.


Is this before or after eating the oatmeal?
 
2014-07-12 01:33:55 AM  
Tearing a dollar bill in half in the dark makes the hooker think you're opening up a condom.
/make sure you go through the motions of rolling it on
 
2014-07-12 09:23:31 AM  

Uzzah: toraque: 'When you go to a crack whore, make sure you don't give her the rock until you're done with her, otherwise she'll just pass out and won't be any good.'

Actual advice I was once given by a dude who looked like it was the most sage wisdom he possessed.  Why he felt I needed to know this is still beyond me.

You missed your chance to respond: "I don't know, man. I kind of like them better when they're passed out."


"I farked your Mom last night."

"Yea sure.  My Mom's been dead for 7 years."

"That's what made it so special."
 
2014-07-12 08:48:12 PM  
Faye Reagan really ruined her career, vagina with genital warts.
 
2014-07-12 11:11:29 PM  
Vicks vapor rub will cure nail fungus.  Just rub it on each night before bed and put on a sock.    A great pink eye cure is to wash the eye with water mixed with Johnson's baby shampoo twice a day.
 
2014-07-13 03:41:10 AM  
Masturbating 8 times a day makes your penis hurt. Don't.
 
2014-07-13 03:45:28 AM  
Have sex doggie style with a girl facing a window looking onto the street. Have a guy sneak into the room. Slip out of her, and say "oops." Have the other guy immediately slip it in. Run out into the street and wave at her.

I realize it's not really a health tip, but still.
 
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