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(Some Conservative Guy)   New study reveals that wind turbines slow the earth's rotation and are the real cause of climate change   (witscience.org) divider line 28
    More: Satire, rotational speed, wind turbines, climate pattern, peak hour, rotation, field research, Institute of Technology  
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1369 clicks; posted to Geek » on 11 Jul 2014 at 1:33 PM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-11 11:41:41 AM  
Fortunately, it's satire.  At least, I hope their Sarah Palin cloning was also satire.

Their e-condom does sound promising, however.   http://witscience.org/projects/
 
2014-07-11 12:03:52 PM  
From their about page:

Originally known as the Wyoming Institute of Education and Nuclear Energy Research
 
2014-07-11 12:06:29 PM  
I was just saying to the wife the other day that it felt like the Earth was slowing down.
She said I was crazy, well who's laughing now.
 
2014-07-11 12:06:52 PM  
Look - they're hiring!

POSITION: Test Subject

Are you interested in science, and yearning to contribute to fascinating new medical research that could potentially change the world and save lives? WIT has partnered with Monsanto, Pfizer, and SetPoint Medical to deliver an exciting new drug designed to offset the almost non-existent side effects of genetically modified organisms used in the agriculture industry, which is rapidly developing remarkable technological advancements.

Ideal Candidates: Subjects must be non-smokers between the ages of 18 and 65, with no history of heart or brain issues, or drug or alcohol dependence. Only US and Mexican citizens may apply.

Responsibilities: The subject must be willing to consume nine (9) pills per day for thirty (30) consecutive days, reporting to one of our labs (locations are in Cheyenne, New York, Chicago, or Los Angeles) every seven (7) days for forty-nine (49) days . During these lab visits, our professional medical researchers will measure vital signs, collect stool and urine samples, ask you to walk or run on a treadmill, administer IQ tests and psychiatric evaluations, and take two (2) blood samples, both while you are eating genetically-modified foods. Researchers may, at their own discretion, ask you to sexually stimulate yourself on camera during these visits. All subjects will be asked to sign waivers, non-disclosure agreements, and other vital documents.

Compensation: Subjects will be paid $50 USD per laboratory visit, with a bonus $100 upon completion of your final laboratory visit on the 49th day. This position does NOT offer any bonus compensation or benefits of any kind.
 
2014-07-11 12:27:38 PM  
I fell for it, but can you blame me?

injusticebydesign.files.wordpress.com

You can never be sure with these guys
 
2014-07-11 12:42:25 PM  

TsarTom: I fell for it, but can you blame me?



You can never be sure with these guys


Interestingly, he's part right. You do, by a crazy small amount ,slow down the wind. However, it actually cools the atmosphere (not on any meaningful way)
 
2014-07-11 01:23:30 PM  
How big and how many fans would we need to point to the east to make something like this happen?
 
2014-07-11 01:24:31 PM  
Well, if global warming is real, at least we'll have all those windmills to keep us cool.
 
2014-07-11 01:31:40 PM  

b2theory: Interestingly, he's part right. You do, by a crazy small amount ,slow down the wind. However, it actually cools the atmosphere (not on any meaningful way)


He is more than slightly right.  All those trees along fence lines that were planted during the dust bowl did change the local climate of much of Oklahoma, Kansas and parts of Texas.  The muddy man made lakes might have done even more.
 
2014-07-11 01:35:30 PM  
www.quickmeme.com
 
2014-07-11 01:42:22 PM  
Oh yeah, this is going up on the FB feed.  Let's see how many I catch.
 
2014-07-11 01:43:01 PM  

jaylectricity: How big and how many fans would we need to point to the east to make something like this happen?


Sounds like a great letter to send in to xkcd's What if page.

I once read a Star Trek novel about the original Enterprise crew going to a tidally locked planet that was going to use warp engines to make the planet start spinning.
 
2014-07-11 01:44:43 PM  

DON.MAC: b2theory: Interestingly, he's part right. You do, by a crazy small amount ,slow down the wind. However, it actually cools the atmosphere (not on any meaningful way)

He is more than slightly right.  All those trees along fence lines that were planted during the dust bowl did change the local climate of much of Oklahoma, Kansas and parts of Texas.  The muddy man made lakes might have done even more.


I thought the trees were planted after the dust bowl, as a result of it.
 
2014-07-11 01:49:29 PM  

Flappyhead: Oh yeah, this is going up on the FB feed.  Let's see how many I catch.


I think I'm going to pocket this one as well at least until April comes around.
 
2014-07-11 01:51:57 PM  
Then spin the turbines in the other direction, dumbasses!
 
2014-07-11 01:59:00 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Then spin the turbines in the other direction, dumbasses!


So you want the Earth to stop rotating when half the world spins them one way and the other half spins them the opposite way?
 
2014-07-11 02:21:04 PM  
images4.static-bluray.com

Shadows of the morning light
the shadows of the evening sun
till the shadows and the light were one...
 
2014-07-11 02:21:27 PM  

danknerd: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Then spin the turbines in the other direction, dumbasses!

So you want the Earth to stop rotating when half the world spins them one way and the other half spins them the opposite way?


I think we should try to get them spinning as fast as possible, if they are slowing it down now with more maybe we can turn it backwards, then we can go back in time and stop climate change by preventing the industrial revolution from happening
 
2014-07-11 02:24:39 PM  

Flappyhead: Oh yeah, this is going up on the FB feed.  Let's see how many I catch.


Theaetetus: Well, if global warming is real, at least we'll have all those windmills to keep us cool.


Between the two of these, we might be able to make it so that every intelligence quotient wins.
 
2014-07-11 02:37:18 PM  
Reminds me of something out of the Journal of Irreproducible Results.

/I'm old
 
2014-07-11 03:02:17 PM  
Yeah, but did you ever think about the consequences of using tidal energy?  Huh?  This is energy created by the motion of the moon.  Absorbing tidal energy slows the motion of the moon, drawing it closer to the Earth.  If we used tidal energy for all of our energy needs, it would only be a matter of time before we pulled the moon out of the sky.  It's true.  Science fact.  Think about it.

What's that?  How long would it take?  Well, at current usage collected at 50% efficiency and we'd bring the moon down in 10^22 years, but we'd probably have some pretty serious problems in only 10^21 years.   The sun should go supernova long before we get to that point, so I think we're safe, even if our energy use goes up by a factor of 100.

//I'm going to submit this as an XKCD what if question
 
2014-07-11 03:28:54 PM  

b2theory: DON.MAC: b2theory: Interestingly, he's part right. You do, by a crazy small amount ,slow down the wind. However, it actually cools the atmosphere (not on any meaningful way)

He is more than slightly right.  All those trees along fence lines that were planted during the dust bowl did change the local climate of much of Oklahoma, Kansas and parts of Texas.  The muddy man made lakes might have done even more.

I thought the trees were planted after the dust bowl, as a result of it.


The dust bowl was showing signs years before the major crop failures were a problem. That was when the 1st trees were planted and it took a while for them to grow.  So yes, it was a result of it but different people had different ideas of when the problem started.

/odd that one of the few places which has solid evidence of humans changing the climate resulting in changing the weather has the most people who claim it can't be done now.
 
2014-07-11 03:43:21 PM  
Needlessly Complicated:


Reminds me of something out of the Journal of Irreproducible Results.

/I'm old


The Annals of Improbable Research is still around.
 
2014-07-11 04:34:01 PM  

b2theory: TsarTom: I fell for it, but can you blame me?

You can never be sure with these guys

Interestingly, he's part right. You do, by a crazy small amount ,slow down the wind. However, it actually cools the atmosphere (not on any meaningful way)


yep completely correct also same goes for all the tidal barrages.
 
2014-07-11 04:34:42 PM  

NewWorldDan: Yeah, but did you ever think about the consequences of using tidal energy?  Huh?  This is energy created by the motion of the moon.  Absorbing tidal energy slows the motion of the moon, drawing it closer to the Earth.  If we used tidal energy for all of our energy needs, it would only be a matter of time before we pulled the moon out of the sky.  It's true.  Science fact.  Think about it.


Here ya go:  http://curious.astro.cornell.edu/question.php?number=124

The tides are slowing down the rotation of the Earth. We need to stop them or the Earth will stop and we will ALL DIE !!!!1!
 
2014-07-11 04:44:47 PM  

opiumpoopy: NewWorldDan: Yeah, but did you ever think about the consequences of using tidal energy?  Huh?  This is energy created by the motion of the moon.  Absorbing tidal energy slows the motion of the moon, drawing it closer to the Earth.  If we used tidal energy for all of our energy needs, it would only be a matter of time before we pulled the moon out of the sky.  It's true.  Science fact.  Think about it.

Here ya go:  http://curious.astro.cornell.edu/question.php?number=124

The tides are slowing down the rotation of the Earth. We need to stop them or the Earth will stop and we will ALL DIE !!!!1!


They are also causing the Moon to recede away from the Earth!!!
 
2014-07-11 07:36:36 PM  
"Nature always balances the books." - Arthur C. Clarke
 
2014-07-12 12:59:37 PM  

NewWorldDan: Yeah, but did you ever think about the consequences of using tidal energy?  Huh?  This is energy created by the motion of the moon.  Absorbing tidal energy slows the motion of the moon, drawing it closer to the Earth.  If we used tidal energy for all of our energy needs, it would only be a matter of time before we pulled the moon out of the sky.  It's true.  Science fact.  Think about it.

What's that?  How long would it take?  Well, at current usage collected at 50% efficiency and we'd bring the moon down in 10^22 years, but we'd probably have some pretty serious problems in only 10^21 years.   The sun should go supernova long before we get to that point, so I think we're safe, even if our energy use goes up by a factor of 100.

//I'm going to submit this as an XKCD what if question


The sun is too small to supernova.
 
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