Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(io9)   This just in: People think their dogs are a lot smarter than they really are   (io9.com) divider line 60
    More: Obvious, emotional intimacy  
•       •       •

3250 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2014 at 6:34 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-07-10 03:56:23 PM  
Well, their dogs probably are much smarter than they themselves are.
 
2014-07-10 05:03:46 PM  
They eat shiat, they roll around in it. They eat other animal's shiat, and they roll around in it. There is no greater dehumanizing and uncivilized way to lower the standards of a home than to bring a dog into it.


/come here little doggy, want a bite of this treat
 
2014-07-10 05:37:28 PM  
My poodle is smarter than 99% of regular listeners of Alex Jones.
 
2014-07-10 06:37:57 PM  
My cocker is smarter than 99% of regular supporters of the GOP
 
2014-07-10 06:37:59 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: They eat shiat, they roll around in it. They eat other animal's shiat, and they roll around in it. There is no greater dehumanizing and uncivilized way to lower the standards of a home than to bring a dog into it.


www.rectified.name
 
2014-07-10 06:38:24 PM  
Dogs don't think their people are as smart as the people think they do.

To your dog, you are just the Big Retarded Dog who Knows How to Open Doors and Cans.

Cats don't even think that much of you.
 
2014-07-10 06:38:39 PM  
People also think the people they have sex with are smarter than they actually are...


...so, uhhhh... there's that....

/hides peanut butter jar
 
2014-07-10 06:39:10 PM  
hey small business owner (and you too Mattress Discounters), you may think your pet is awesome enough to feature in your tv commercials, but trust me, he's not.
 
2014-07-10 06:40:08 PM  
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-07-10 06:40:59 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: They eat shiat, they roll around in it. They eat other animal's shiat, and they roll around in it. There is no greater dehumanizing and uncivilized way to lower the standards of a home than to bring a dog into it.


/come here little doggy, want a bite of this treat


i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-10 06:41:09 PM  
whatever our basset lacks in intelligence he makes up for in utter stupidity.
 
2014-07-10 06:41:55 PM  
No, I'm certain that my stepdaughter's dog is dumber than a bag of hammers.
 
2014-07-10 06:42:39 PM  
Dogs are dumb and dog owners are white trash.

The only exception are pit bull owners since they are white, brown, and black trash.
 
2014-07-10 06:42:49 PM  
 
2014-07-10 06:46:18 PM  
Substitute kids for dogs and the headline still works.  Accept my kids, their tottaly smart and such as.
 
2014-07-10 06:46:42 PM  
My dog is a hell of a lot more obedient than my 7-year-old, and I think he's pretty perceptive, but the dog's not all that smart.

scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2014-07-10 06:48:19 PM  

I Like Shiny Things: Dogs are dumb and dog owners are white trash.

The only exception are pit bull owners since they are white, brown, and black trash.


So you're a cat person then?
 
2014-07-10 06:51:50 PM  

JesseL: I Like Shiny Things: Dogs are dumb and dog owners are white trash.

The only exception are pit bull owners since they are white, brown, and black trash.

So you're a cat person then?


People that don't like dogs are mentally ill.  Keep them away from sharp objects, like cats
 
2014-07-10 06:53:46 PM  
My dog is as dumb as a bag of rocks, but sweet. He is also very loyal.......... to the last person who gave him sometime to eat regardless of whom that person was.
 
2014-07-10 06:56:26 PM  
About 25% of dog owners agreed or strongly agreed that dogs were smarter than most people.

My dog is smarter than most people. This isn't saying anything about the intelligence of my dog though.
 
2014-07-10 07:01:19 PM  
 
2014-07-10 07:03:29 PM  
People who have conversations with their dogs in a random, non training manner are just complete imbeciles.  My grandmother used to yell at her dog and then get frustrated when she felt the dog was ignoring her.
 
2014-07-10 07:06:30 PM  
My dog may not be very intelligent but she was smart enough to not vote for Bush both times.
 
2014-07-10 07:06:57 PM  

Ker_Thwap: People who have conversations with their dogs in a random, non training manner are just complete imbeciles.  My grandmother used to yell at her dog and then get frustrated when she felt the dog was ignoring her.


There's nothing wrong with talking to your dog. It can be therapeutic to voice things and helps to not just be talking to yourself, and dogs can figure out a lot about your emotional state and try to do the appropriate thing for you.

Your grandmother was insane though.
 
2014-07-10 07:19:54 PM  

JesseL: Ker_Thwap: People who have conversations with their dogs in a random, non training manner are just complete imbeciles.  My grandmother used to yell at her dog and then get frustrated when she felt the dog was ignoring her.

There's nothing wrong with talking to your dog. It can be therapeutic to voice things and helps to not just be talking to yourself, and dogs can figure out a lot about your emotional state and try to do the appropriate thing for you.

Your grandmother was insane in the sack though.


FTFY


Back on topic: Like TFA says, in reality dogs are roughly as bright as a 2-3 year old human child. In the animal world, that's actually pretty darn bright though. If you have a bright dog, he's about as smart as a 3 year old.  3 year olds may not be creating any civilizations or anything, but are still a hell of a lot smarter than like 99.9% of other animals out there.
 
2014-07-10 07:28:17 PM  
My dogs have always been incredibly sweet little bundles of absolutely retarded love. Two of them were slightly smarter than the average toddler.
 
2014-07-10 08:00:19 PM  
I don't understand why people feel compelled to compare adult animals to toddlers. Some dogs help raise toddlers, and Lord knows there aren't any seeing eye toddlers.

That said, my reasonably-smart-for-a-dog, 8-year-old mutt with little seawater experience once, when thirsty, tasted the (salt) water on three sides of a pier.
 
2014-07-10 08:00:37 PM  

Ker_Thwap: People who have conversations with their dogs in a random, non training manner are just complete imbeciles.  My grandmother used to yell at her dog and then get frustrated when she felt the dog was ignoring her.


One of my neighbours used to yell at her labs if they were fighting over a toy. Typical yelling matches consisted of this "Never ever bite your sister! Not over a bone! Unimpressive! Unimpressive!"
 
2014-07-10 08:03:40 PM  
They're smart enough to get humans to feed them, keep them indoors safe from predators, scratch the parts they can't itch, and blame everything on the cat. How much smarter to they need to be?
 
gja
2014-07-10 08:12:41 PM  

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: My poodle is smarter than 99% of regular listeners of Alex Jones.


So is an amoeba.
 
2014-07-10 08:14:00 PM  
This just in: Pollsters think their polls are more meaningful than they really are.
 
gja
2014-07-10 08:14:54 PM  
Cats are smarter. They just aren't as trainable inasmuch as they do not care to be told what to do.
But they are smart, if also devious and cunning.
 
2014-07-10 08:18:09 PM  
Then again, they've got someone to feed them and house them for life, and all they've got to do is look interested and let the human show them some affection every now and then.  That's not too dumb, it's at least as smart as a trophy wife.
 
2014-07-10 08:19:43 PM  
mongbiohazard: Back on topic: Like TFA says, in reality dogs are roughly as bright as a 2-3 year old human child.

Some days that's better than half the drivers on the road and easily better than some of my coworkers.
 
2014-07-10 08:35:00 PM  

semiotix: InterruptingQuirk: They eat shiat, they roll around in it. They eat other animal's shiat, and they roll around in it. There is no greater dehumanizing and uncivilized way to lower the standards of a home than to bring a dog into it.


Not bad. You simultaneously countered and supported his point.
 
2014-07-10 08:45:20 PM  
Haters gonna hate, as usual.

/owns a very cute but dumb dog
 
2014-07-10 08:51:15 PM  
They say the real answer is equivalent to a 2-3 year old....  but the options they gave people included 1-2 and 3-5, and they're upset too many chose 3-5?  Looks like about 70% of the people were as close as they could get, to me.  That's really pretty good for people guessing about their own pet.

Also, they may not be smarter than a 3 year old, but a lot are certainly more trainable, which can make them *seem* smarter at times.
 
2014-07-10 08:52:41 PM  
Oh, also... I'd expect that more than a quarter of people overestimate their own and their kid's intelligence as well.  It's not really just because it's a pet.
 
2014-07-10 08:58:33 PM  
Not only is my dog smart, he's also not vicious. That toddler playing in his own back yard should have known better than to laugh like he did... it's not Atila's fault he was forced to chew that kid's face off.

/what dog owners actually think
 
2014-07-10 09:02:31 PM  

ErinPac: They say the real answer is equivalent to a 2-3 year old....  but the options they gave people included 1-2 and 3-5, and they're upset too many chose 3-5?  Looks like about 70% of the people were as close as they could get, to me.  That's really pretty good for people guessing about their own pet.

Also, they may not be smarter than a 3 year old, but a lot are certainly more trainable, which can make them *seem* smarter at times.



Came here to say this.  The "study" doesn't offer the correct answer as an option, and then when 70% of the people pick the closest two answers this is somehow shocking.  Almost as shocking as a click-bait headline based on exaggerated junk science.
 
2014-07-10 09:08:40 PM  
Google: border collie chaser

Then try to make  sense of some of the grammar around here
 
2014-07-10 09:23:40 PM  
Dogs are smart enough to realize that they can lick their own balls and then do it. I'd say that's pretty damn smart.
 
2014-07-10 09:46:29 PM  
Dogs are smarter than liberals that's for sure.
 
2014-07-10 09:47:37 PM  
My dog has already saved me from an intruder so he's as smart as I need.
 
2014-07-10 09:56:20 PM  

ErinPac: They say the real answer is equivalent to a 2-3 year old....  but the options they gave people included 1-2 and 3-5, and they're upset too many chose 3-5?  Looks like about 70% of the people were as close as they could get, to me.  That's really pretty good for people guessing about their own pet.

Also, they may not be smarter than a 3 year old, but a lot are certainly more trainable, which can make them *seem* smarter at times.


Exactly. The problem with their categories is that there is a hugely visible difference in intelligence between 1 and 2 that dwarfs the difference between 2 and 3, and possibly that between 3 and 5. I mean, a 1 year old may or may not be walking and understand language. Dogs run and understand simple commands.
 
2014-07-10 10:12:51 PM  
They're as smart as they need to be. I don't have anyone feeding me, housing me or picking up my poop. AND for the most part they don't have to Work! Cats may be even smarter 'cause they have the added skill of not having to pay any attention to you at all!
 
2014-07-10 10:21:06 PM  

brimed03: Not bad. You simultaneously countered and supported his point.


See, you get me.
 
2014-07-10 10:31:27 PM  

p0nk: hey small business owner (and you too Mattress Discounters), you may think your pet is awesome enough to feature in your tv commercials, but trust me, he's not.

Pets? Around here we get the kids of the owners.

steamingpile: Dogs are smarter than liberals that's for sure.

I smell something. I'm not sure what it is, but there's a lot of it.
 
2014-07-10 11:27:58 PM  

Doom MD: People also think the people they have sex with are smarter than they actually are...


...so, uhhhh... there's that....

/hides peanut butter jar


So what you seem to be saying...is that dogs are people too?
 
2014-07-11 01:03:42 AM  
How come it is that the same type of people that seem to think that dogs are so smart, are also the same ones convinced that cats are stupid?
 
Displayed 50 of 60 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report