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(Cracked)   Five annoying ways the internet fools you into clicking crap. By Cracked   (cracked.com) divider line 60
    More: Ironic  
•       •       •

6520 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2014 at 12:42 PM (6 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-10 10:49:38 AM
Hah! I didn't click!
 
2014-07-10 11:01:15 AM

Generation_D: Hah! I didn't click!


But you know you want to.
 
2014-07-10 11:37:51 AM
Put them all together, and what have you got? A business model.
 
2014-07-10 12:32:13 PM
img.photobucket.com

Home of the internet's finest my favorite website
 
2014-07-10 12:45:34 PM
Click here for one weird trick to avoid clicking on articles you don't want to view.
 
2014-07-10 12:45:41 PM
and i clicked.


i am a moron
 
2014-07-10 12:45:56 PM
Shouldn't it be "five weird ways"?
 
2014-07-10 12:46:40 PM
It was six ways but then g*rg*r was deleted.
 
2014-07-10 12:47:33 PM
Suckers! I always jump straight to the thread without clicking.
 
2014-07-10 12:47:47 PM
Without reading the list 'm assuming boobs in the thumbnail because that usually works for me.

Nope.

huh..I figured that would be a good way to get roughly 50% of the population interested.
 
2014-07-10 12:47:55 PM
6. Splitting your crap article into multiple pages when it's really only long enough for one.
 
2014-07-10 12:48:44 PM

DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 538x74]

Home of the internet's finest my favorite website


You need to ad/d Foodbeast and Metro to that
 
2014-07-10 12:49:00 PM

b0rg9: Shouldn't it be "five weird ways"?... that are taking _____ by storm!

 
2014-07-10 12:49:10 PM
*and cracked's little chum linkstorm can go to hell as clicking on the link never takes you to an article, just a list of other articles
 
2014-07-10 12:49:15 PM

Notabunny: Put them all together, and what have you got? A business model.


Don't forget charging $5/month to comment before everyone else.
 
2014-07-10 12:50:32 PM

bingethinker: 6. Splitting your crap article into multiple pages when it's really only long enough for one.


Not giving it the click, but did it have "slideshows"?  They're basically the same idea, so it might be cheating to include both.
 
2014-07-10 12:52:41 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 538x74]

Home of the internet's finest my favorite website

You need to ad/d Foodbeast and Metro to that


It was an early build; you see the old Jezebel image before Fark updated it.

Also "click-bate" together is a filter now to "my favorite website"?
 
2014-07-10 12:52:45 PM

bingethinker: 6. Splitting your crap article into multiple pages when it's really only long enough for one.


It was one page on mobile.
 
2014-07-10 12:53:06 PM
Nice tutorial on writing headlines for Fark.
 
2014-07-10 12:53:12 PM
5 ways headlines get you to click. The fourth one is absolutely vital.

5 ways headlines get you to click. The third one is so simple.

5 ways headlines get you to click. Everybody will click and know this exciting information and if you don't click you will be dumb at next weekend's party. You don't want to be dumb, do you?
 
2014-07-10 12:53:42 PM

Last Man on Earth: bingethinker: 6. Splitting your crap article into multiple pages when it's really only long enough for one.

Not giving it the click, but did it have "slideshows"?  They're basically the same idea, so it might be cheating to include both.


Cracked usually breaks an article into two pages, but the word count is usually high enough that you don't feel like a sucker for clicking.
 
2014-07-10 12:54:32 PM
Two days ago I went to weather.com to get the forecast.

The home page was "5 DEAD IN SEVERE STORMS"

The article? There's a chance of thunderstorms and a regional watch.

The weather Channel website has been pissing me of lately, and that was it.

Fark them, I'm just using the NOAA from here out.
 
2014-07-10 12:55:19 PM
Isn't Fark just one big crap clicking site?
 
2014-07-10 12:55:54 PM

Mr. Eugenides: Nice tutorial on writing headlines for Fark.


img.photobucket.com

Easier than you think. See - Entertainment Tab.
 
2014-07-10 12:56:27 PM
This thread brought to you by the Department of the Obvious. When something crystal clear needs explaining, who ya gonna call?
 
2014-07-10 12:58:53 PM

Thingster: Two days ago I went to weather.com to get the forecast.

The home page was "5 DEAD IN SEVERE STORMS"

The article? There's a chance of thunderstorms and a regional watch.

The weather Channel website has been pissing me of lately, and that was it.

Fark them, I'm just using the NOAA from here out.


I use Weather Underground (wunderground.com).  The chart format they use for the 10-day forecast is actually really handy.
 
2014-07-10 12:59:54 PM

Generation_D: Hah! I didn't click!

 
2014-07-10 01:02:52 PM
Click here to see how Doctors banned this book written by a 70 year old schoolteacher that shows how she looks 40 by eating this one weird food.

/Didn't know doctors could ban things.
 
2014-07-10 01:04:32 PM

Mr. Eugenides: Nice tutorial on writing headlines for Fark.


Came here to say THIS^^
 
2014-07-10 01:08:29 PM

JackieRabbit: This thread brought to you by the Department of the Obvious. When something crystal clear needs explaining, who ya gonna call?


Ghostbusters?
 
2014-07-10 01:09:09 PM
Is one of them the use of the word "annoying" in a headline?
 
2014-07-10 01:12:01 PM

DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 538x74]

Home of the internet's finest my favorite website


You forgot Global Rectocranial Inversion
 
2014-07-10 01:14:30 PM

Skail: Thingster: Two days ago I went to weather.com to get the forecast.

The home page was "5 DEAD IN SEVERE STORMS"

The article? There's a chance of thunderstorms and a regional watch.

The weather Channel website has been pissing me of lately, and that was it.

Fark them, I'm just using the NOAA from here out.

I use Weather Underground (wunderground.com).  The chart format they use for the 10-day forecast is actually really handy.


Wunderground is where the weather nerds have been tracking dew points, pressure changes, and fiddling with different radar techniques for ages. The default page has been streamlined enough for the masses now, but all the cool stuff is still there. Less irritating ads too. Heck, I even unblock them for the domain so they are supported.
 
2014-07-10 01:14:57 PM
 
2014-07-10 01:19:24 PM
Now on all FB video shares....

I clicked the Fark-ticle link...."AND YOU'll NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?"
 
2014-07-10 01:28:07 PM

slorge: Now on all FB video shares....

I clicked the Fark-ticle link...."AND YOU'll NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?"


I clicked on one of those thinking,"I bet I do know. Yep. That was exactly what I thought." I don't click them anymore. Once was enough for me.
 
2014-07-10 01:31:21 PM

Thingster: Two days ago I went to weather.com to get the forecast.

The home page was "5 DEAD IN SEVERE STORMS"

The article? There's a chance of thunderstorms and a regional watch.

The weather Channel website has been pissing me of lately, and that was it.

Fark them, I'm just using the NOAA from here out.


I don't mind it, or the lame-o videos they post now.  The information is still free and useful so I don't care that they have to do that to help pay the bills.
 
2014-07-10 01:32:32 PM
DNRTF.  Honestly, I didn't want to fall prey to the "click here".

So tell me...  Is this one on the list?
The one on Facebook where you see a link saying, "You have to check out this video".  You click the link, and you can't watch the video unless you SHARE the page on Facebook.

Those assholes need to be dipped in hot tar.
 
2014-07-10 01:35:47 PM

madgonad: Skail: Thingster: Two days ago I went to weather.com to get the forecast.

The home page was "5 DEAD IN SEVERE STORMS"

The article? There's a chance of thunderstorms and a regional watch.

The weather Channel website has been pissing me of lately, and that was it.

Fark them, I'm just using the NOAA from here out.

I use Weather Underground (wunderground.com).  The chart format they use for the 10-day forecast is actually really handy.

Wunderground is where the weather nerds have been tracking dew points, pressure changes, and fiddling with different radar techniques for ages. The default page has been streamlined enough for the masses now, but all the cool stuff is still there. Less irritating ads too. Heck, I even unblock them for the domain so they are supported.


I'll give them even more support than that.  Because I have my own site that I can use for whatever I want, I built a page that hotlinks their best radar images.
And they don't have a problem with that.  I've been using that page for well over 10 years...
Granted, I have to hardcode the areas that I want to view.  But it's so much more convenient than ANY weather service website.  I just get to view what I need.
 
2014-07-10 01:44:35 PM
hmm, lemme guess the 'ways'.

1. Facebook
2. Reddit
3. Fark
4. 4chan
5. Every portal homepage

and by 'ways' i mean simply have a website designed for nothing more than enormous amounts of clicks.  the specifics arent that important.
 
2014-07-10 01:56:41 PM

The Flexecutioner: hmm, lemme guess the 'ways'.

1. Facebook
2. Reddit
3. Fark
4. 4chan
5. Every portal homepage

and by 'ways' i mean simply have a website designed for nothing more than enormous amounts of clicks.  the specifics arent that important.


No, it's "Facebook", "Facebook", "Facebook", "Twitter", and "Facebook".

It's just discussion of various ways headlines maximize their shares without having to, technically, agree with the article. Combined with the insight that nobody ever reads the articles (it's not limited to Fark, who knew?), so nobody notices the headlines don't agree with the articles.

/I remember the chutzpah recently of Facebook's product manager complaining that news was too unserious
 
2014-07-10 01:59:30 PM
I clicked, and oddly the article in the link is pretty much as advertised, and not a complete waste of time (and I'm on Fark, so I'm wasting time as a default). At least it's text. Any link that goes to a video that I have to watch, and it's embedded in a page I don't care to give clicks to (why is it so farking hard to just share the original YouTube link?) is an automatic waste of time. At least with text I can skim a few lines, or even the byline and "stoppedreadingthere.jpg"

I rarely click on Farkticle links directly. I almost always go straight to the comments. They're usually a filter that saves me a click and/or gives me better content and jokes than the article they're about.
 
2014-07-10 02:10:02 PM

Thingster: Two days ago I went to weather.com to get the forecast.

The home page was "5 DEAD IN SEVERE STORMS"

The article? There's a chance of thunderstorms and a regional watch.

The weather Channel website has been pissing me of lately, and that was it.

Fark them, I'm just using the NOAA from here out.


I think weather.com started the trend before they got bumped by Direct TV, but now it's nothing but click bait.  Does the weather channel actually cover weather any more? (I actually don't know).
 
2014-07-10 02:11:50 PM

DanZero: Mr. Eugenides: Nice tutorial on writing headlines for Fark.

[img.photobucket.com image 197x326]

Easier than you think. See - Entertainment Tab.


Yup.  I got one yesterday.
 
2014-07-10 02:52:54 PM

northguineahills: Thingster: Two days ago I went to weather.com to get the forecast.

The home page was "5 DEAD IN SEVERE STORMS"

The article? There's a chance of thunderstorms and a regional watch.

The weather Channel website has been pissing me of lately, and that was it.

Fark them, I'm just using the NOAA from here out.

I think weather.com started the trend before they got bumped by Direct TV, but now it's nothing but click bait.  Does the weather channel actually cover weather any more? (I actually don't know).


I turned on the weather channel once. They were doing some kind of reality show about a company that flies aircraft to far-away buyers, so weather was always a significant factor. So, that's cool. What wasn't cool was watching the same clip of an airplane ditching in the ocean 50 times, every time they mentioned that it would be bad to run out of gas over the ocean.
 
2014-07-10 02:54:20 PM
Cracked is one of the leading users of Taboola, a particularly scummy social advertising service which injects links at the bottom of the page that look like other site content.
 
2014-07-10 03:17:23 PM
I was never clear on this. If I visit a page with adblock on then does that still register as a hit on the website? Would it still support the site because advertisers think there is another person visiting the site? Or does it not count if the ad never loads?
 
2014-07-10 03:32:10 PM

bingethinker: 6. Splitting your crap...

7. article into multiple...

8. pages when it's really only...

9. long enough for...

10. one.


FTFY
 
2014-07-10 03:32:47 PM

Underwater Bystander: I was never clear on this. If I visit a page with adblock on then does that still register as a hit on the website? Would it still support the site because advertisers think there is another person visiting the site? Or does it not count if the ad never loads?


The site you visit gets the hit, but the advertiser on that site don't.  So Cracked can count you in their monthly stats to advertisers allowing them to say: "Hey! Advertise with us!  We get 17423157328754867823673 unique hits every month.  See!?!", but then the advertisers go "How come our ad never shows up on your site?  Screw this!  I'm outta here!"
 
2014-07-10 03:33:14 PM

drxym: Cracked is one of the leading users of Taboola, a particularly scummy social advertising service which injects links at the bottom of the page that look like other site content.


A combination of Ghostery, Adblock, and Noscript generally means I never see that sort of nonsense. I find that sort of behavior repulsive. Whenever I have to use my wife's computer or I'm on a terminal that's not "sanitized" from advertising to my standards I'm just appalled at the Internet.
 
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