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(The Raw Story)   Fox's "Doctor" Keith Ablow says legalized same-sex marriage rights will lead to 'three humans and a dog' marriage, and perhaps even worse, another movie starring Ted Danson, Tom Selleck, and Steve Gutenberg   (rawstory.com) divider line 193
    More: Dumbass  
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3229 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2014 at 1:06 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



193 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-10 10:47:35 AM  
Because a dog is a natural person, so of course you can enter into a contract with it.
 
2014-07-10 10:51:02 AM  

nekom: Because a dog is a natural person, so of course you can enter into a contract with it.


My dog is a co-signer on my mortgage.
 
2014-07-10 11:08:58 AM  

EvilEgg: nekom: Because a dog is a natural person, so of course you can enter into a contract with it.

My dog is a co-signer on my mortgage.


My dog is my landlord, and boy does he get pissed when I'm late on the rent and belly rubs.
 
2014-07-10 11:43:31 AM  
The argument that somehow legalizing gay marriage is going to completely undermine any ability to criminalize any sort of sexual behavior is just inane.  The larger principle, that this must be betweentwo consenting   adults, isn't challenged at all by this.

I mean, thee guys always end up sounding way more perverted than the people they rail against.  It's like the feel these barely restrained deviant urges, and assume everyone else has them too.
 
2014-07-10 11:53:26 AM  
What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?
 
2014-07-10 12:05:47 PM  

nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?


The part where Keith Ablow wants to fark his dog, and you liberals keep preventing that.
 
2014-07-10 12:10:39 PM  

nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?


They think marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman; if they don't grasp that a woman can be an adult capable of informed consent, that would explain their difficulty.
 
2014-07-10 01:08:14 PM  

abb3w: nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?

They think marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman; if they don't grasp that a woman can be an adult capable of informed consent, that would explain their difficulty.


you are definitely on to something here.......
 
2014-07-10 01:08:16 PM  
a dog entering the equation would need to be approved by my turtle-groom.
 
2014-07-10 01:08:17 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: EvilEgg: nekom: Because a dog is a natural person, so of course you can enter into a contract with it.

My dog is a co-signer on my mortgage.

My dog is my landlord, and boy does he get pissed when I'm late on the rent and belly rubs.


Dog is my co-pilot.
/not really
//it's Chewie
 
2014-07-10 01:09:11 PM  

nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?


The part where they feel women need to consent? Or be treated like adults?
 
2014-07-10 01:09:42 PM  
Good grief.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-10 01:09:47 PM  

Combustion: FirstNationalBastard: EvilEgg: nekom: Because a dog is a natural person, so of course you can enter into a contract with it.

My dog is a co-signer on my mortgage.

My dog is my landlord, and boy does he get pissed when I'm late on the rent and belly rubs.

Dog is my co-pilot.
/not really
//it's Chewie


screeninvasion.com
 
2014-07-10 01:09:55 PM  

nekom: Because a dog is a natural person, so of course you can enter into a contract with it.


In fairness, following Citizens United and the more recent Hobby Lobby ruling, if you're confused on this point you're in... well, I was going to say "good company", but that's not quite right.  The United States Supreme Court, at least.
 
2014-07-10 01:09:59 PM  
I'm pretty sure we can put sarcastiquotes around the title of everyone who appears on Fox News.
 
2014-07-10 01:10:39 PM  
Politics tab, why?
 
2014-07-10 01:10:51 PM  

abb3w: nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?

They think marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman; if they don't grasp that a woman can be an adult capable of informed consent, that would explain their difficulty.


That's...actually quite the observation.

I mean I was going to go with "whenever someone says crap like this, whether it be about marriage equality, drug legalization, or anything similar, just imagine they end every point with 'because that's what I would do!'"

But WOW...
 
2014-07-10 01:10:57 PM  
Mr. Ablow's closet is about to burst with as many skeletons he has stashed there
 
2014-07-10 01:11:40 PM  

nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?


38.media.tumblr.com
"A whatting what now?"
 
2014-07-10 01:12:14 PM  

abb3w: nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?

They think marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman; if they don't grasp that a woman can be an adult capable of informed consent, that would explain their difficulty.


There's also the possibility that they view "the gays" as subhuman in a sense, making it a simpler leap to correlate gay marriage with marrying a tree or a turtle.
 
2014-07-10 01:12:32 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: EvilEgg: nekom: Because a dog is a natural person, so of course you can enter into a contract with it.

My dog is a co-signer on my mortgage.

My dog is my landlord, and boy does he get pissed when I'm late on the rent and belly rubs.


Awww ... but I guess a couple of ear-scratches make up for it.
 
2014-07-10 01:12:43 PM  
I smell a sitcom!
 
2014-07-10 01:12:46 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-10 01:13:10 PM  
"Here's the thing, the state needs to get out of the marriage business because here's what we can expect,"

But laws forbidding same-sex marriage are OK because ... reasons.

Fox News viewers don't want "the state" to get out of anybody's business. They lust for more regulation than "liberals" ever dreamed of, just according to their own preferences and prejudices.
 
2014-07-10 01:13:27 PM  

abb3w: nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?

They think marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman; if they don't grasp that a woman can be an adult capable of informed consent, that would explain their difficulty.


This is everything. +1
 
2014-07-10 01:14:15 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: abb3w: nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?

They think marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman; if they don't grasp that a woman can be an adult capable of informed consent, that would explain their difficulty.

you are definitely on to something here.......


"Yeah, if these two dudes get married, which one owns the other one? Which one has to stay home and make sandwiches and clean house? I don't understand!"
 
2014-07-10 01:14:20 PM  
You know what, single men? Just marry a dog. You'll be happier.
 
2014-07-10 01:14:21 PM  
Ablow me, "doctor".

// seriously, I'm more of an expert medical opinion than this spunkcrust
// not an MD (never even went to grad school), FTR
 
2014-07-10 01:14:28 PM  
This guy is a doctor, so it's dumb to listen to him about the finer (or in this case, the grossly obvious) points of civil rights law.  In any case, an M.D. implies some kind of rational thought and ability to reason, yet he completely jumps feet first into stupid making a comparison between an adult human and a dog.  I wonder how this form of brain damage affects his diagnosing ability.  Does he see somebody bleeding from a gaping chest wound and ask if they have a family history of diabetes?
 
2014-07-10 01:15:15 PM  
I don't care if you marry twenty three people, but for legal and benefit reasons it should be limited to one.

Problem solved?
 
2014-07-10 01:15:21 PM  

nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?

 
2014-07-10 01:17:16 PM  
"There's no way that the state of California can deny a marriage license to four spouses now, eight spouses."

I'm ok with this as long as I get the hot Mormon wives. None of them homely looking ones.
 
2014-07-10 01:18:06 PM  

jake_lex: The argument that somehow legalizing gay marriage is going to completely undermine any ability to criminalize any sort of sexual behavior is just inane.  The larger principle, that this must be betweentwo consenting   adults, isn't challenged at all by this.

I mean, thee guys always end up sounding way more perverted than the people they rail against.   It's like the feel these barely restrained deviant urges, and assume everyone else has them too.


Isn't that the basis of the modern Republican Party platform?
 
2014-07-10 01:18:22 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: EvilEgg: nekom: Because a dog is a natural person, so of course you can enter into a contract with it.

My dog is a co-signer on my mortgage.

My dog is my landlord, and boy does he get pissed when I'm late on the rent and belly rubs.


My dog is my landlord, I shall not want
He maketh me lie down on the green carpet
He leadeth me to the still waters (of the toilet)
He restoreth my smile, and leadeth me to the park for the ballgame
Yeah tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of slobber, I will fear no postman, for thou art with me
 
2014-07-10 01:18:24 PM  

Aquapope: This guy is a doctor, so it's dumb to listen to him about the finer (or in this case, the grossly obvious) points of civil rights law.  In any case, an M.D. implies some kind of rational thought and ability to reason, yet he completely jumps feet first into stupid making a comparison between an adult human and a dog.  I wonder how this form of brain damage affects his diagnosing ability.  Does he see somebody bleeding from a gaping chest wound and ask if they have a family history of diabetes?


If Fox gave you have the amount of cash they are paying him you'd claim FartBongoCare retroactively reanimated your dead great-grandfather just to hook him up to a Death Panel Machine and kill him again.
 
2014-07-10 01:19:09 PM  
I suppose it comes as no surprise that the people at Fox don't have the slightest idea what consent is, what it means, or how it applies to relationships.
 
2014-07-10 01:19:09 PM  

whither_apophis: Aquapope: This guy is a doctor, so it's dumb to listen to him about the finer (or in this case, the grossly obvious) points of civil rights law.  In any case, an M.D. implies some kind of rational thought and ability to reason, yet he completely jumps feet first into stupid making a comparison between an adult human and a dog.  I wonder how this form of brain damage affects his diagnosing ability.  Does he see somebody bleeding from a gaping chest wound and ask if they have a family history of diabetes?

If Fox gave you have the amount of cash they are paying him you'd claim FartBongoCare retroactively reanimated your dead great-grandfather just to hook him up to a Death Panel Machine and kill him again.


HALF the amount....
 
2014-07-10 01:19:14 PM  
The real question is:  Is it funnier than his suspicion that enthusiasm over the World Cup is a convenient distraction from, let's face it, Benghazi?
 
2014-07-10 01:19:19 PM  
I'd like to gay marry a corporation, a manly one like bass pro shop. Then take half of his assets in the gay divorce.
 
2014-07-10 01:19:38 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: abb3w: nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?

They think marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman; if they don't grasp that a woman can be an adult capable of informed consent, that would explain their difficulty.

you are definitely on to something here.......


So a pair of consenting adults could be a 14 year old boy and a 14 year old girl that just got pregnant on the last homecoming dance.  And if they are adults, well, they should have a right to vote, right?  And they can then join the military, no? How about an 18 year old boy with a 14 year old girl, same scenarios apply, right?  How about hiring practices, can they apply for jobs at the city or county or local private company?  I mean, since they are adults and all, shouldn't they be able to do the things other adults do?

This opens up the biggest sets of questions of all: so how about a 14 year old boy and a 26 year old man?  How young is too young to consider an adult? Once you get a boner or ovulate?
 
2014-07-10 01:19:44 PM  
badskeptic.com
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
 
2014-07-10 01:19:45 PM  
I'm staying with my mom for a week, and all the televisions in her house are set to Fox News. My brain has atrophied since I've been here. I need a good dose of Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow to wash away the crazy.
 
2014-07-10 01:19:52 PM  
"There's no way that the state of California can deny a marriage license to four spouses now, eight spouses."

Which ought to be allowed as well, as long as all spouses involved are adults, know about each other, and everybody consents.  It's none of our business, really.
 
2014-07-10 01:19:52 PM  
The ones who don't watch Fox are smart enough not to listen to this crap. The Derps who do are too stupid to stop. Useless arguing. You could argue with a mule all day but you're not going to change it into a horse.
 
2014-07-10 01:20:16 PM  
"Here's the thing, the state needs to get out of the marriage business because here's what we can expect,"

You know what? I agree.

Define it all as a legal contract. Simultaneously, change all other laws that reference "marriage" to "legal contract" so visitation rights, inheritance, etc., are kept. Also, go revise every court decision to change "marriage" to "legal contract", and then you religious fundies can keep your previous "marriage" word for yourselves, and let the state deal with the legality side of a union of two or more people.

What? That's too hard to go do? Then I'm sorry, but the state then needs to stay in the "marriage" business.
 
2014-07-10 01:20:18 PM  
When I want to marry an animal, do I have to pick ONE or can I go for a whole petstore? I'm asking because I want to make centaurs the old fashioned way.
 
2014-07-10 01:20:41 PM  

factoryconnection: Satan's Bunny Slippers: abb3w: nmrsnr: What part of "consenting adult" is so hard to understand?

They think marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman; if they don't grasp that a woman can be an adult capable of informed consent, that would explain their difficulty.

you are definitely on to something here.......

"Yeah, if these two dudes get married, which one owns the other one? Which one has to stay home and make sandwiches and clean house? I don't understand!"


The dude in the police uniform owns the dude in the gimp suit. But he stays home, cleans the dungeon, and makes sandwiches while the gimp goes to work in a small box. You know, like regular marriage.
 
2014-07-10 01:21:41 PM  

nekom: Because a dog is a natural person, so of course you can enter into a contract with it.


Only tangentially related, but there was a sci-fi story a few years ago in which an artificial intelligence is able to obtain legal rights and protections for itself by persuading its human owner to file articles of incorporation on its behalf.

In case anyone wants to read it: The Lifecycle of Software Objects, by Ted Chiang
 
2014-07-10 01:22:03 PM  
I wonder how long he's been having these fantasies?
 
2014-07-10 01:22:28 PM  
Neigh means neigh!!
 
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