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2348 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2014 at 10:00 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2014-07-09 09:06:31 PM  
Original: Full Size
2014-07-09 09:08:02 PM  
Andy and Sarah, two star crossed lovers, working for the New Thornburg Police Department, take a stroll one day into a secluded park, and decide to have a much delayed heart-to-heart talk about their relationship. Andy a 24 year old constable, and Sarah, his 3 year old partner, who happens to be a talking horse.

Sarah: Oh Andy, this is such a romantic spot.

(Andy slowly puts his hand on Sarah's hoof, caressing it gently and trying to smile as he rests his head against her strong chest for a moment.)

Andy: Sarah, we really need to talk. I'm sure you know everyone in the department is gossiping about us.

Sarah: I know, it's not fair. Why do people care if we love each other? Just because we're different species, should it matter? Should it?! *looking a bit sad*

Andy: Sarah, we've been together for two years now, and it's been a hell of a ride. I'm just trying to think of what's best for the both of us.

Sarah: Are you saying you want to break up? Andy, don't let a bunch of bigots dictate our lives, that's ridiculous! We love each other... I mean, yeah, there's been some physical issues.. It's not your fault you're not as, uh, as, well equipped as a horse would be. But! We've been learning to overcome that! Right? We've learned to have fun, and really enjoy each other's uniqueness.

(Sarah tries to force a smile, but knows in her heart that Andy is worried that staying together will destroy both their lives.)

Andy: *blushing* Well, yeah, we've learned to adapt physically, but it's not just that. You know, even if people at work, the general public... the federal government, possibly.... but you know, that if it wasn't for all those people who say our love is wrong, don't you ever worry that our lives will be in conflict? I mean, I'll outlive you by 60 years or more. And you're not some pet, I can't stand the thought of losing you, and then just replacing you with some other horse.. I don't see you that way! You're not some animal to me! I.. I... Sarah, I really do love you.. I just don't know what to do!

(Tears welled up in Andy's eyes as he leaned forward and gave Sarah a warm kiss on the lips. Resting his head against her long nose, he gently clasped the underside of her jaw with his hands. Sarah's heart was breaking, she knew she wanted to be with this man, it was in her heart, her mind, her very soul that they should be together.)

Sarah: Oh god Andy, I love you too... *her voice breaking, tears streaming from her eyes* No matter what happens, we'll stay together. If that means we have to move away to a small farm, or just somewhere... Somewhere we wont be hated or persecuted, then we'll make it work. I know you've been saving up your money, and I've been saving my feed, we can sell what we have and just move! We'll be together for as long as we can, and "be damned to the world say I! Be damned! You bigots, and racists, be damned!"

(With her defiant proclamation, Sarah pressed her nose against Andy's chest, pushing him to the ground, smiling with so much love in her eyes, she pressed her lips into his and they embraced, just enjoying themselves for as long as it would last.)

To be continued.....

2014-07-09 09:11:07 PM  
For you, you know. A whole year.
2014-07-09 09:32:59 PM  
Now Andy, I know the bronies on tumblr told you that type of thing is normal and healthy, but I'm just not into you like that.
2014-07-10 10:05:06 AM  
No, Mr. Ed, I really do have to be the upper in this relationship.
2014-07-10 10:06:17 AM  
Have you ever had that not-so-fresh feeling?
2014-07-10 10:06:27 AM  
"do you think my ass looks big?"
2014-07-10 10:07:05 AM  
grampyshouse.netView Full Size
2014-07-10 10:07:22 AM  
To be honest, when I saw your online dating profile, I thought you were Sarah Jessica Parker...
2014-07-10 10:08:12 AM  
You know that joke I'm rubber you're glue? Well, I have to break something to you.
2014-07-10 10:11:07 AM  
You should give Lana a call Joel. It's what you want. It's what every white boy off the lake wants.
2014-07-10 10:11:08 AM  
Brokeback Mountain? No, sir. I don't like it.
2014-07-10 10:12:38 AM  
"Told you I was hung like a human.."
2014-07-10 10:13:29 AM  
"This is a one-shot thing we got going on here."

"It's nobody's business but ours."

"You know I ain't queer."

"Me, neither."
2014-07-10 10:18:14 AM  
"Can we go bareback next time?"
2014-07-10 10:23:08 AM  
I wish you'd stop saying we're just horsing around, and get a little more serious.
2014-07-10 10:39:22 AM  
"Hail Hydra!"

"Hail Hydra."
2014-07-10 10:46:19 AM  
"We never talk anymore."

Now voting enabled!
2014-07-10 10:51:28 AM  
Now, to lotus pose, or meditative pose...
breathe in and in a low voice with "ohms"...
or whatever the equine versions of that may be...
"kilowatts" or something...
just try not to be resistant...
2014-07-10 10:53:31 AM  
Hold on pal. I let you lead me here, but I'll be damned if you think I'm going to drink from THAT.
2014-07-10 10:54:46 AM  
Being hung like a horse isn't all that impressive when you're actually a horse.
2014-07-10 10:56:56 AM  
"PE-EW!  Rusty, I never should have given you that Beefareeno this morning!"
2014-07-10 11:15:47 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2014-07-10 11:23:15 AM  
"YES - I saw Brokeback Mountain. Now leave me alone."
2014-07-10 11:30:09 AM  
Horse:  This sure is comfortable.  You know, if you removed this halter, I'd feel a lot better.  You can put it back on after the break.  Oh.  Thanks.  That feels great.  How about loosening the saddle a bit.  It kind of digs in to my back.  Yeah.  That feels good.  But you know what?  Just take the saddle and blanket off.  I'd like to feel the sun on my back.  Oh. Yeah. That feels good.  This is nice.  Just sitting here, miles from nowhere is quite relaxing.  And now, without that halter and saddle, I just want to say...  See ya later, fatass!
2014-07-10 01:04:27 PM  
I'm not wearing any underwear.
2014-07-10 04:34:49 PM  
"I wish I could quit you."
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