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(Metro)   Nine people you should date before you're 30. After that, take what you can get   (metro.co.uk) divider line 128
    More: Interesting, gay pride, By God, Mrs. Right  
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15692 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2014 at 10:25 PM (9 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-09 07:45:25 PM
List fails without stripper on the list.

/you gotta ride that roller coaster at least once
 
2014-07-09 08:09:08 PM

basemetal: List fails without stripper on the list.

/you gotta ride that roller coaster at least once


global3.memecdn.com
that's the express train to crazy town. no thanks.
 
2014-07-09 08:33:23 PM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
Umm, you don't have to date pretty much any of these people. In fact some of them will f*ck you up emotionally.

I've met plenty of these types through social situations, it takes only a few minutes to identify the majority of them and know to avoid them.

Sometimes though you might run into a girl who's superficially interesting (seems nice, cute) and then when you actually try to carry a conversation with them you realize they have the intellect of a potato.
 
2014-07-09 08:43:33 PM
10: The Clinger

Because you'll learn by example of what not to be.

(If I was a girl and I was dating a clinger, she might be touching my ear while I sleep)
www.ru-screwd.com
 
2014-07-09 08:46:41 PM
This is an example of an article so pants-wettingly stupid that it would have actually been better displayed as a slideshow, so that there would have been no wasted effort in scrolling down the page.
 
2014-07-09 09:14:10 PM
It's a little late for the list.

Jerk subby!
 
2014-07-09 10:12:53 PM
I should be on that list. I'd ruin every woman for dating for sure.
 
2014-07-09 10:27:27 PM
The older man/woman?  Surely there's a less insulting way to refer to the transgendered.
 
2014-07-09 10:31:06 PM
#10 - subby's Mom
 
2014-07-09 10:32:54 PM

peg_leg: #10 - subby's Mom


Your login and your comment make an odd juxtaposition if you're not reading carefully:

peg subby's Mom.

I didn't know that was possible.
 
2014-07-09 10:33:35 PM
I'd date Madonna.
 
2014-07-09 10:33:49 PM
When I hear 'bad boy' I think OJ Simpson, not John Mayer.
 
2014-07-09 10:34:05 PM
the bipolar girl who might bite your dick off at any time.

/really makes you appreciate you sanity and dick
 
2014-07-09 10:34:54 PM

Bondith: The older man/woman?  Surely there's a less insulting way to refer to the transgendered.


Will be 70 in October. Just started hanging around the "Over 50 Center" here in Salem. Any port in a storm kind of thing. It's surprising how much action you can get with a semi.
 
2014-07-09 10:34:57 PM
How about no?  Also, thirties is a fantastic time to be single, my window of available women is as wide as ever right now.  Women in their forties think you're young and virile, women in their twenties think you are mature and ready to settle down, own a house, good job, etc.  Oh, and I can actually afford things now.

That's not even counting that women in their thirties can be desperate to find someone and may lower their standards to farker territory, not to mention the ones getting divorced.

/37
 
2014-07-09 10:35:48 PM
TFA: Some people genuinely enjoy dating

Don't date those people, and you should be fine.
 
2014-07-09 10:37:29 PM
Did we forget the dating the ex?  Because if you know 2 things for sure it's:
1. She puts out.
2. She's crazy and will leave shortly thereafter.
 
2014-07-09 10:40:16 PM

doomjesse: Did we forget the dating the ex?  Because if you know 2 things for sure it's:
1. She puts out.
2. She's crazy and will leave shortly thereafter.


Sleeping with an ex is like masturbation. You know you're f*cking yourself but you do it anyway.
 
2014-07-09 10:41:14 PM

doomjesse: Did we forget the dating the ex?  Because if you know 2 things for sure it's:
1. She puts out.
2. She's crazy and will leave shortly thereafter.


Alternate possibility: she's crazy and  won't leave shortly thereafter.
 
2014-07-09 10:41:49 PM
Only one I really agree with is number 3...I ALMOST got into something serious with a good looking guy but saw a couple of warning signs that got me to steer clear away from him. The douche was criticizing me for what I wore on our first date! I don't care how good looking you are I'm not going to go out of my way to impress a douchebag. He had some obvious control/trust issues. I like to be myself, take it or leave it.
 
2014-07-09 10:43:21 PM
darwinpolice: Alternate possibility: she's crazy and won't leave shortly thereafter.

Double-Alternate possibility: she'll realize her affinity for women and have nothing to do with you, ever.
 
2014-07-09 10:44:23 PM
I should be on that list. Everyone should have dated me once. But you didn't.
 
2014-07-09 10:44:51 PM

basemetal: List fails without stripper on the list.

/you gotta ride that roller coaster at least once


I banged an ex-stripper a couple times. She left the business and got married and settled down.

And yes, she cheated on her husband with me. Sorry I'm not sorry, that's her bad, not mine. I was single and she was offering.
 
2014-07-09 10:45:50 PM

ultraholland: darwinpolice: Alternate possibility: she's crazy and won't leave shortly thereafter.

Double-Alternate possibility: she'll realize her affinity for women and have nothing to do with you, ever.


Triple-alternate possibility: I'm the crazy one and she's making the mistake by sleeping with me again
 
2014-07-09 10:46:01 PM
6. The irreversibly emotionally damaged

DING DING DING!

Actually I prefer women who are like that. Especially if they're reasonably attractive and have nothing better to do.

Want to see who commits suicide first?

EIP!
 
2014-07-09 10:46:12 PM

Point02GPA: Bondith: The older man/woman?  Surely there's a less insulting way to refer to the transgendered.

Will be 70 in October. Just started hanging around the "Over 50 Center" here in Salem. Any port in a storm kind of thing. It's surprising how much action you can get with a semi.


Okay, since I'm a 60-something, I gotta ask...a semi-what?
 
2014-07-09 10:46:16 PM
I got married at age 22, so....
 
2014-07-09 10:46:31 PM

basemetal: List fails without stripper on the list.


Did that.  She was actually a nice person, intelligent, and not at all a slut.  No, she wasn't working her way through college.  She just liked the money and flexibility of the job.  That was, oh jeez kill me, over twenty years ago.
 
2014-07-09 10:47:32 PM
Still, it's a better article than "30 people you should date berfore you're nine."
 
2014-07-09 10:53:48 PM
Bonus points in life for those of us who can avoid having anything to do with the lot of them.
 
2014-07-09 10:55:50 PM

Stone Meadow: Point02GPA: Bondith: The older man/woman?  Surely there's a less insulting way to refer to the transgendered.

Will be 70 in October. Just started hanging around the "Over 50 Center" here in Salem. Any port in a storm kind of thing. It's surprising how much action you can get with a semi.

Okay, since I'm a 60-something, I gotta ask...a semi-what?


Erection.

If you got to ask, consider youself good to go, and then go big time.
 
2014-07-09 10:56:30 PM
Really, this list can be boiled down to:

1) The narcissist;
2) The crazy;
3) The damaged;
4) The next generation.

To every group: just say no.  If you haven't figured that out by the time you're 30, you deserve what you get.
 
2014-07-09 11:01:54 PM

Next week's Tom Sawyer: I'd date Madonna.


Why she'll claim god got her pregnant. Then your on the hook for someone else's kid.

No thanks.
 
2014-07-09 11:03:55 PM

ChadM89: basemetal: List fails without stripper on the list.

/you gotta ride that roller coaster at least once

I banged an ex-stripper a couple times. She left the business and got married and settled down.

And yes, she cheated on her husband with me. Sorry I'm not sorry, that's her bad, not mine. I was single and she was offering.


Same here. But then she got all crazy like, wanted to marry me (while she was still with her hubby) and got way too territorial after I blew her off.
 
2014-07-09 11:05:38 PM

ultraholland: darwinpolice: Alternate possibility: she's crazy and won't leave shortly thereafter.

Double-Alternate possibility: she'll realize her affinity for women and have nothing to do with you, ever.


I once had a woman tell me she preferred women after we were together.  I said "Why?" and she responded "Because her dildo is more satisfying than you, and more emotionally involved".

/not such a csb
 
2014-07-09 11:08:04 PM
Wait I should have dated 9 people before I was thirty?!
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-07-09 11:08:59 PM
Well, goodness, what am I supposed to do with myself after 30?
 
2014-07-09 11:10:15 PM

433: Well, goodness, what am I supposed to do with myself after 30?


I think the implantation is clear...
 
2014-07-09 11:11:51 PM

vegas_greaser: ChadM89: basemetal: List fails without stripper on the list.

/you gotta ride that roller coaster at least once

I banged an ex-stripper a couple times. She left the business and got married and settled down.

And yes, she cheated on her husband with me. Sorry I'm not sorry, that's her bad, not mine. I was single and she was offering.

Same here. But then she got all crazy like, wanted to marry me (while she was still with her hubby) and got way too territorial after I blew her off.


Crazy-ass broads. Whatcha gonna do.
 
2014-07-09 11:14:14 PM

The One True TheDavid: 6. The irreversibly emotionally damaged

DING DING DING!

Actually I prefer women who are like that. Especially if they're reasonably attractive and have nothing better to do.

Want to see who commits suicide first?

EIP!


I LOLed but I felt bad after....
 
2014-07-09 11:15:50 PM
I'm a 35 y/o single male and I've only ever dated 2 women. Does that make me irreversably emotionally damaged by default? (I really think I may have anxiety issues)
 
2014-07-09 11:17:46 PM

Earthworm Jim Jones: doomjesse: Did we forget the dating the ex?  Because if you know 2 things for sure it's:
1. She puts out.
2. She's crazy and will leave shortly thereafter.

Sleeping with an ex is like masturbation. You know you're f*cking yourself but you do it anyway.


Thread done.
 
2014-07-09 11:18:19 PM
I misread the article and now I'm dating 30 9-year olds.
 
2014-07-09 11:18:48 PM

sifr: I'm a 35 y/o single male and I've only ever dated 2 women. Does that make me irreversably emotionally damaged by default? (I really think I may have anxiety issues)


No now piss off you trolly concern scum
 
2014-07-09 11:22:58 PM
I was going to groan about what I thought was going to be an idiotic list, until I realized I did date most of those (sort of).

Hipster (very angsty), older woman (absolutely great, just at two different points in our lives), fitness obsessed (great, just very into rowing and it took up a lot of her time), emotionally damaged (very sad, subjected to lots of abuse and mistreatment, marrying her abusive ex), sex addict, beauty queen.
 
2014-07-09 11:23:12 PM
Ugh, imagine having to actually date 9 people before you find one you like enough to keep.  Like, date date, all dressed up with awkward silences and the whole bit. Just the thought is enough to make me just want to lay in bed with a good book forever. Then again, I don't enjoy getting out much.
 
2014-07-09 11:26:50 PM

ultraholland: the bipolar girl who might bite your dick off at any time.

/really makes you appreciate you sanity and dick


You, Sanity and Dick is my new band name.
 
2014-07-09 11:27:15 PM

doomjesse: Did we forget the dating the ex?  Because if you know 2 things for sure it's:
1. She puts out.
2. She's crazy and will leave shortly thereafter.


I did that once and now she's my stalker.  Going on 27 months, 9 days of the following pure f*cking insanity:

- Gifts left on my car in the middle of the night,
- Hand-written letters (double sided!) left in my mailbox or at the bar I frequent,
- Non-stop calls and texts from ever-changing phone numbers (record is 13 calls/27 texts in a day),
- Has her gf's keep tabs on me....they know who I am by face/name but I have never met them until they approach me,
- Facebook contact after friends of mine feel bad for her and let her use their accounts,
- Extra creepy/special mention of "true belief" that we belong together,
- AND MANY MORE GREAT HITS!

"The Time I Showed You A Knife (Stab By Your Man)"



"Casket For Two"



"Cry For Attention (I Have A Disease)"



"Bother Your Roommates At Work"



"Vacant Stare"



"Car In Driveway (At 4am)"



"Tattoos of Your Face"



"Found God"



I'll write my own hit single too if the courts don't help me out, it's called



"Gotta Heisenberg This Corpse (Hydrofluoric Acid Blues A-comin')"

 
2014-07-09 11:28:10 PM

IExpectAKill: doomjesse: Did we forget the dating the ex?  Because if you know 2 things for sure it's:
1. She puts out.
2. She's crazy and will leave shortly thereafter.

I did that once and now she's my stalker.  Going on 27 months, 9 days of the following pure f*cking insanity:

- Gifts left on my car in the middle of the night,
- Hand-written letters (double sided!) left in my mailbox or at the bar I frequent,
- Non-stop calls and texts from ever-changing phone numbers (record is 13 calls/27 texts in a day),
- Has her gf's keep tabs on me....they know who I am by face/name but I have never met them until they approach me,
- Facebook contact after friends of mine feel bad for her and let her use their accounts,
- Extra creepy/special mention of "true belief" that we belong together,
- AND MANY MORE GREAT HITS!"The Time I Showed You A Knife (Stab By Your Man)"

"Casket For Two"

"Cry For Attention (I Have A Disease)"

"Bother Your Roommates At Work"

"Vacant Stare"

"Car In Driveway (At 4am)"

"Tattoos of Your Face"

"Found God"

I'll write my own hit single too if the courts don't help me out, it's called

"Gotta Heisenberg This Corpse (Hydrofluoric Acid Blues A-comin')"


so is she hot or what? pics?
 
2014-07-09 11:29:32 PM

basemetal: List fails without stripper on the list.

/you gotta ride that roller coaster at least once


My friend did for a couple of weeks until she started asking for money to fix her car. I guess it wasn't enough his singles were putting her through college.
 
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