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(Washington Post)   Virginia cops want to give a 17-year-old boy an erection so they can take pictures of it   ( divider line
    More: Obvious, Prince William County, NBC Washington, juvenile courts  
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13131 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2014 at 8:14 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-07-09 10:36:39 PM  
7 votes:
Ivan the Tolerable:   life as a sexual predator for 'exploiting' his 'child' self by his 'adult' self.

files.sharenator.comView Full Size
2014-07-09 08:41:21 PM  
6 votes:
He's 17. He probably already has an erection.
2014-07-09 08:42:47 PM  
4 votes:
On the case...

images.huffingtonpost.comView Full Size
2014-07-09 08:18:41 PM  
4 votes:
Up next. Charging teen with statuatory rape for touching himself. To be tried as an adult.
2014-07-10 08:27:54 AM  
3 votes:
They can always ask the TSA for advice.

i.imgur.comView Full Size
2014-07-09 09:11:52 PM  
3 votes:
Worst. MakeAWish. EVAR
2014-07-09 08:45:19 PM  
3 votes:
If this prosecutor and police department want dick pics so bad that they're willing to take a kid to a hospital to get them, people should help them out by sending any pictures of erected penises they can find to the sheriff's email.
2014-07-09 08:34:25 PM  
3 votes:
Follow-up:  Additional charges filed against teen for walking around a hospital with an erection.
2014-07-09 08:25:34 PM  
3 votes:
Please, please, can we call it a tallywacker?
2014-07-09 07:58:30 PM  
3 votes:

some_beer_drinker: lindalouwho: Let me get this straight - the police and prosecutor want to commit child abuse and manufacture child porn?


pretty much this. we are through some sort of portal here...

They could always try a line up.
2014-07-09 09:02:35 PM  
2 votes:
If there's a way to permanently kill the sex drive of a 17 year old boy, a national conversation as to whether a bunch of police should look at his medically induced boner is probably it.
2014-07-09 08:49:38 PM  
2 votes:
Maybe our teen boy needs to alter the appearance of his peen. A mustache, some tats, a little cap, and some dark sunglasses should give Mr. Happy a good disguise.

Seriously, making a 17 year old get a woody for the cops is all kinds of messed up. How does the 15 year old girl receiving some dick pics (possibly unwanted but likely not) translate into a lifetime on the sex offender registry?
2014-07-10 01:23:32 PM  
1 vote:
2014-07-10 08:12:27 AM  
1 vote:

rnatalie: Please, please, can we call it a tallywacker?

Please this is a serious matter!

i.ytimg.comView Full Size

one of the funniest movie moments ever....  Of course I was the right age for it too.
2014-07-10 07:37:21 AM  
1 vote:

liam76: Coming on a Bicycle: Give it enough publicity and this fark of a DA will back off. This is the stuff you can boast about to your colleagues, not the country.

Can we mention the DA by name?

Because I think repeating that enough with "wants to look at a 17yr olds penis" to the point it is the first thing that comes up in google woudl help.

You mean that Assistant Commonwealth's Attorney Claiborne Richardson "wants to look at a 17 year old's penis"?  Or the fact that he works under Prince William County Commonwealth's Attorney Paul B. Ebert?
2014-07-10 03:14:08 AM  
1 vote:
Sounds like the Mannasas Police take a wide stance when it comes to child porn.
2014-07-10 02:46:08 AM  
1 vote:
They could at least bring in a fluffer. And after they are done taking his pictures, are they going to send in somebody to help him take care of that boner? If they are using boner juice that thing is going to be erect for a while. I think they have a civic responsibility to help him through it once their needs are satisfied.
2014-07-10 02:39:05 AM  
1 vote:

Langdon_777: Snausages75: Dear Manassas has an established history of being fascinated with such things. It was where John Wayne Bobbitt had his unfortunate accident. Three years ago, the town got a case of the pearl-clutching vapors because an "adult" store opened in Old Town. They subsequently changed their zoning laws so it could never happen again, which I think is considered spot zoning, which is illegal.

See here: c uts-across-class-lines-10502.html

Lastly but most disturbing, Bob Marshall is the state delegate for Manassas. Take a stroll through his Wikipedia page to get an idea of what kind of specimen he is.

When I read his wiki, each time I read the word 'election', I heard 'erection.'

Oh and this case is insane.

That's just because he lives in Man'sass.
2014-07-10 12:20:21 AM  
1 vote:
Who activated the MRA beacon for this thread?
2014-07-09 11:09:08 PM  
1 vote:
Bet that kid's really enjoying his Male Privilege.
2014-07-09 10:57:31 PM  
1 vote:
Are all the Fark law enforcement officers at work tonight?
2014-07-09 10:20:54 PM  
1 vote:
Want to see an underage boy's peener in a hospital?  Jim'll fix it!

redicecreations.comView Full Size
2014-07-09 10:16:24 PM  
1 vote:

Nem Wan: Cops having special dick comparison software.

I heard that in this case they're using the police departments and prosecutors employee ID card photos as a reference.
2014-07-09 10:13:56 PM  
1 vote:
So the punishment for taking pictures of your dick and sharing them is to have other people take pictures of your dick and share them? Does this mean everyone involved in taking pictures of said member will in turn have to have pictures of their respective pieces taken and shared? Assumedly this would continue ad nauseum until the entire planet has seen each others genitals?
2014-07-09 10:03:24 PM  
1 vote:
Everyone involved in prosecuting that case should be charged as producers of child rape.

They want to stick a needle in his dick and force a priapism.

They want to compare a picture of his penis to all the other pictures of childrens penises that they have on their hard drives...

/Why doesn't anyone like or trust the police anymore
//Because you shot my dog and are now taking photos of my sons penis.
2014-07-09 09:50:04 PM  
1 vote:

TuteTibiImperes: There's an update on the article with the police having released a statement, view it here.

On first blush, if they're having to release a statement defending their actions, that likely means they're getting a lot of backlash over this, so that's good.

They do mention that the girl asked him to stop sending her dick pics, which, if true, and he kept doing it, does make him sort of a jerk, but it's certainly not worth felony charges.  If that was the actual situation the correct course of action would have been to have her parents tell his parents, and have them ground him and take away his phone.  This entire situation does not warrant police involvement.

But my snowflake would have never saw a penis until her wedding night at the age of 32 if it wasn't for that nasty 17 year old. I am outraged!
2014-07-09 09:49:50 PM  
1 vote:

Werehamster: What really gets me is that a cop said that they would use "special software" to determine if the penis is the kid's. Huh? What's the name of the program? Who manufactured it? How in the world can anyone tell if it actually works? Will the prosecution be required to prove that the software does what it's supposed to do? If so, how will it do so?

There is software that IDs the unique curves of an ear. I guess it's an iteration of that. Map the veins and such...Pretty farked up in this case, given the circumstances.

Thank GOD cellphones with cameras were not around in my teens. No way I'd have the security clearance I have now.
2014-07-09 09:34:42 PM  
1 vote:
...any your Delta Tau Chi name is Pinto......
2014-07-09 09:31:41 PM  
1 vote:
So are they taking pics of the girl's vagina to compare to the pics she sent the boy?
2014-07-09 09:25:13 PM  
1 vote:
i817.photobucket.comView Full Size

Maybe the kid thought he was Batman?
2014-07-09 09:04:26 PM  
1 vote:
Hopefully the judge and prosecuter will lose in the next erection.
2014-07-09 08:54:40 PM  
1 vote:
I heard the kid wrote his defense on his cock, but his lawyer said it would not stand up in court.
2014-07-09 08:52:04 PM  
1 vote:

Delay: What the fark is wrong with police today? Police get enormous pensions that we pay for, they bust peaceful people with a gram of marijuana and those hippies go to jail for life in prison, the police extort normal people and plant drugs on them when those normal people have done nothing wrong, then, when it all quiets down, the police shoot their dogs. Who are the folks that profit from this?

Police cant charge anyone without the prosecutors help.

The prosecutor can always decide to not charge someone the police suggest charging.

I dont think it is the police departments fault....overzealous prosecutor in an isolated incid......  BWAHAHAHAHA

I couldnt finish that last sentence. Sorry.
2014-07-09 08:47:06 PM  
1 vote:
If they do reenact the erection, I hope they hire Michael bay to direct.

2014-07-09 08:43:26 PM  
1 vote:
I say, they were hard on crime.

/I keep a slingin' `em, and you keep a missin' `em.
2014-07-09 08:39:05 PM  
1 vote:
Does it have a mole?
2014-07-09 08:37:45 PM  
1 vote:
I am SO glad people and prosecutors were not so sex-panicked in the 80s... I and everyone I knew back then would be ex-cons for exhibiting our normal teenage behavior.  I had a 15-year-old girlfriend when I was 17. Age of consent is 16 here... So as far as anyone is concerned, we never did anything remotely intimate. Nope. Nothing at all.

When I was 15 I was dating a 19-year-old. She'd have been in jail and on the sex offenders list if our teen years had been like they are now. Her parents knew we were together and they didn't mind. MY parents knew we were together and they didn't mind.

Hell, the aforementioned 15-year-old's parents invited me on a trip to a ski resort and let me sleep in the same room as their daughters. They simply didn't freak out about teenage relationships like people do today.

Granted, I never sent unsolicited dick Polaroids to anyone when I was a teen... But still, people need to chill out. Teenagers have sex. It's what they DO. It's what we are all wired to be like when our hormones are going crazy.

These laws exist to protect adolescents and children from ADULT predators and exploitation. We really need to rewrite our laws to simply exclude teenagers from statutory rape and CP charges involving their girlfriends/boyfriends, except in extreme circumstances.

Here's what I'd do if I were this boy:  Find a way to alter the appearance of my penis. Maybe add some spots, or find a way to change the color, or something. That way, when they compare photo to reality, they'll have to say "If the dick in the pic doesn't click, you must acquit." (I know "acquit" doesn't rhyme with "dick". Shut up.)
2014-07-09 08:37:43 PM  
1 vote:
The most amusing solution to the problem would be to treat camera-possessing-devices like tobacco products and deny them to those under 18. Seems like it'd solve a lot of problems all at once and it'd be a fairly nifty troll at the same time.
2014-07-09 08:36:57 PM  
1 vote:
Came for the tallywhacker scene, leaving busting a gut
2014-07-09 08:27:21 PM  
1 vote:
Hey, my first sex was when I was 15 and she just turned 17. So that's ok as long as I didn't take a picture of the "act"? Or should I just turn her in after all these years?

/she taught me a lot though!
2014-07-09 08:10:54 PM  
1 vote:

labman: So are they going to have a book of mugshots, only it's picture of underage penises?

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