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(Onion AV Club)   George R.R. Martin takes time out of his busy schedule to flip us the bird instead of finishing the goddamn books already   (avclub.com) divider line 88
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3695 clicks; posted to Geek » on 09 Jul 2014 at 4:15 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-09 01:44:24 PM  
He needs a treadmill.
 
2014-07-09 02:52:22 PM  
Bookmarked that .gif
 
2014-07-09 03:40:47 PM  
So he'll take 5 years to write the next one, in which time the series will have forked off his story line and people will have lost interest in the books.  I love his writing - but hell if I'm going to wait years on tenterhooks for the next series of successive and never-ending plot twists Song of Ice and Fire book.  I may or may not read the next one, but it certainly won't be as engaging, I don't think.
 
2014-07-09 04:12:33 PM  
No, fark YOU, you fat fark.
 
2014-07-09 04:19:08 PM  
It'll be interesting to see if his attitude changes once the show passes him up and he no longer has a captive audience.
 
2014-07-09 04:21:37 PM  

Summoner101: It'll be interesting to see if his attitude changes once the show passes him up and he no longer has a captive audience.


He'll crank out some ghost written POS before that happens.
 
2014-07-09 04:22:41 PM  
This is what happens when authors sell the rights to a series that hasn't been finished. He's already mapped out how the stories end to the show producers; they're going to finish it whether he's written the books or not. So why put in all the time and effort?

He'd do better to start a new series and start shopping that around.
 
2014-07-09 04:23:48 PM  
I heard he was busy working on the lyrics to a new Wieners song.
 
2014-07-09 04:24:15 PM  
The last few volumes already drove me away... don't need more crap from this fat bag of shiat...

Now the series has some hotties in it; so there is that... and Peter D is the MAN. He's worth watching... but the books, and more chapters... nope.
 
2014-07-09 04:28:32 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: So he'll take 5 years to write the next one, in which time the series will have forked off his story line and people will have lost interest in the books.  I love his writing - but hell if I'm going to wait years on tenterhooks for the next series of successive and never-ending plot twists Song of Ice and Fire book.  I may or may not read the next one, but it certainly won't be as engaging, I don't think.


So A Dance With Dragons came out last year, and the show just finished with book 3.

The next two seasons are supposedly going to be mixed from books 4 and 5, so that means he has at most one and a half to two years to complete book 6 so that there's time to write screenplays and film it all.

Then, unless book 6 can be stretched into two seasons, he's really under the gun to wrap it up with book 7 for the final season of the show.

It may be that GRRM will just need to send his dailies to the producers on the show so that they can write scripts at the same time that he's writing the book.

Having the final seasons air before the books they're based on are published spud certainly be a different way of doing things...
 
2014-07-09 04:28:39 PM  

meat0918: Summoner101: It'll be interesting to see if his attitude changes once the show passes him up and he no longer has a captive audience.

He'll crank out some ghost written POS before that happens.


Brandon Sanderson did a great job when Jordan died.  Perhaps he can do it for this dumbass
 
2014-07-09 04:30:23 PM  
I honestly think he wishes he was back in the day when he was a niche author that other authors aspired to and didn't have to deal with the overwhelming demand of the general public's lust for things like, deadlines, or a moving plot...

I love the first 3 books, but 4 and 5 were soooo slooooow...
 
2014-07-09 04:31:45 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: meat0918: Summoner101: It'll be interesting to see if his attitude changes once the show passes him up and he no longer has a captive audience.

He'll crank out some ghost written POS before that happens.

Brandon Sanderson did a great job when Jordan died.  Perhaps he can do it for this dumbass


Just keep Brian Herbert away from them, and we should be fine.
 
2014-07-09 04:32:37 PM  
Tell that fat fark to lose some weight, and start writing. And to shower. You can tell by looking at him that he always stinks.
 
2014-07-09 04:32:51 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: meat0918: Summoner101: It'll be interesting to see if his attitude changes once the show passes him up and he no longer has a captive audience.

He'll crank out some ghost written POS before that happens.

Brandon Sanderson did a great job when Jordan died.  Perhaps he can do it for this dumbass


I'm still miffed about that whole thing... From what i read, Jordan had something like 10,000 pages written and all Sanderson had to do was the final edit and draft...
 
2014-07-09 04:33:19 PM  
I refuse to watch a second of that shiat before the books are all published.

I saw what happened with Lost.

G RR Martin can suck a flaccid weiner until that point.
 
2014-07-09 04:33:54 PM  
Everybody who's not killed before the last book gets killed in the last book.

There.
 
2014-07-09 04:34:23 PM  

Pocket Ninja: This is what happens when authors sell the rights to a series that hasn't been finished. He's already mapped out how the stories end to the show producers; they're going to finish it whether he's written the books or not. So why put in all the time and effort?

He'd do better to start a new series and start shopping that around.


A new series by Martin wouldn't sell well. Those books sell because readers like the GoT universe, not Martin's prose. The audience he would try to sell a new series to is the exact same audience pissed off at him for meandering through the last two books instead of advancing the story.

Unless Dunk and Egg or Wild Cards have way more fans than I'm realizing... Then he may have a broader potential audience than GoT.
 
2014-07-09 04:34:48 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: meat0918: Summoner101: It'll be interesting to see if his attitude changes once the show passes him up and he no longer has a captive audience.

He'll crank out some ghost written POS before that happens.

Brandon Sanderson did a great job when Jordan died.  Perhaps he can do it for this dumbass


Jordan and his wife left Sanderson a lot of notes and information about the story, including entire chapters and passages.  This fatty fat fark is too lazy to do that.
 
2014-07-09 04:34:59 PM  
I would have laughed my ass off for the next nine years if he had suddenly died of a heart attack when doing that.
 
2014-07-09 04:41:42 PM  
Here's the last page:


"... and then they all jumped in a pile and set each other on fire and everybody died.

THE END."

sketchofmiddlefinger.jpg

 
2014-07-09 04:46:06 PM  
What more do you need to know about his attitude?  If there is nothing else for him to do, he'll write.

Please, if I got that much fame after that kind of professional struggle, I'd already been passed out dead in a Scarface-sized pile of blow.
 
2014-07-09 04:51:43 PM  

clkeagle: Pocket Ninja: This is what happens when authors sell the rights to a series that hasn't been finished. He's already mapped out how the stories end to the show producers; they're going to finish it whether he's written the books or not. So why put in all the time and effort?

He'd do better to start a new series and start shopping that around.

A new series by Martin wouldn't sell well. Those books sell because readers like the GoT universe, not Martin's prose. The audience he would try to sell a new series to is the exact same audience pissed off at him for meandering through the last two books instead of advancing the story.

Unless Dunk and Egg or Wild Cards have way more fans than I'm realizing... Then he may have a broader potential audience than GoT.


The Dunk and Egg books are in the same universe.  I haven't read them, but that may be an option for the TV people if they need to stall for GRRM to write - throw in a 'prequel' season based on those books.
 
2014-07-09 04:53:39 PM  
And yet if he rushed out something mediocre his fans would biatch about that.

He doesn't manage a McDonalds. If his writing process takes a long time to make something good, it takes a long time.
 
2014-07-09 04:59:27 PM  
he should leave it unfinished to spite everyone

or

it's all really a group of nerd's elaborate D&D campaign
 
2014-07-09 05:03:21 PM  

CeroX: I'm still miffed about that whole thing... From what i read, Jordan had something like 10,000 pages written and all Sanderson had to do was the final edit and draft...


Jordan was obsessive about his world though.  He had freaking backstories for people who only existed in one chapter.  Martin comes up with stuff when he needs it.
 
2014-07-09 05:04:54 PM  
ManateeGag:

it's all really a group of nerd's elaborate D&D campaign

Everything since Bran fell off of the tower has just been his fever-dream.
 
2014-07-09 05:11:20 PM  

Xythero: And yet if he rushed out something mediocre his fans would biatch about that.

He doesn't manage a McDonalds. If his writing process takes a long time to make something good, it takes a long time.


Sure.  Just don't expect a fad (and it is a fad) to wait on your years of painstaking craftsmanship.

/Rrrrrich Coreenthian Leatharr
// Not sure why that came to mind when writing "painstaking craftsmanship"
 
2014-07-09 05:17:35 PM  
I'm glad I got all of his shiatty books and television shows off of torrents instead of rewarding his lazy pervy fat ass by spending money on his products.  What a coont.  Here's a farking pro-tip for you Georgy boy, if you can't work while you're travelling, stop farking travelling and do your damn job.
 
2014-07-09 05:24:51 PM  
After seeing the shiat show that the Dark Tower turned into, do you REALLY want him to rush it?
 
2014-07-09 05:35:28 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: clkeagle: Pocket Ninja: This is what happens when authors sell the rights to a series that hasn't been finished. He's already mapped out how the stories end to the show producers; they're going to finish it whether he's written the books or not. So why put in all the time and effort?

He'd do better to start a new series and start shopping that around.

A new series by Martin wouldn't sell well. Those books sell because readers like the GoT universe, not Martin's prose. The audience he would try to sell a new series to is the exact same audience pissed off at him for meandering through the last two books instead of advancing the story.

Unless Dunk and Egg or Wild Cards have way more fans than I'm realizing... Then he may have a broader potential audience than GoT.

The Dunk and Egg books are in the same universe.  I haven't read them, but that may be an option for the TV people if they need to stall for GRRM to write - throw in a 'prequel' season based on those books.


But the actors continue to age while production goes on hiatus.

In your mind you pick up where you left off at the end of the last season, but suddenly Bran is as tall as Hodor and Arya has huge tracts of land.
 
2014-07-09 06:07:03 PM  
Book 6 has already been turned in.....it's book 7 you should already be jonesing for.
 
2014-07-09 06:10:25 PM  

Cpl.D: Here's the last page:


"... and then they all jumped in a pile and set each other on fire and everybody died.

THE END."sketchofmiddlefinger.jpg


"...upon his return, the Lord of Light was revealed to be none other than Orson Lannister, returned as a five hundred foot avatar. Orson reached for the wall, lifted a section high above his head, and proceded to thquish all the human beetles of the Seven Kingdoms."

PROLOGUE:
"...except Arya. She alone was spared, as a reminder of how expensive divorce can be to even the most successful writer in Westeros."
 
2014-07-09 06:17:47 PM  
65???? Damn. I though he was 85. Seriously. Huh. Well. Im sure we'll be fine.
 
2014-07-09 06:35:10 PM  
Well, the guy is 65, 'retirement age'.  He's enjoying the fruits of his labors.  I don't have a huge problem with him going a bit slow. The dude is feeling the pressure from the fans and from HBO and I kind of get the feeling hes lost interest in the series a bit given his preference to do ANYTHING else instead of writing GOT.  He writes and edits other books, owns a movie theater, is involved with the TV show, and goes to every single Podunk comic/book/sci-fi convention in the world.

As for saying F-You to the people pressuring him, I don't blame him much considering a lot the comments in here.

At this point I really wish he would write out an outline and give it to a ghost writer.  Then he can continue with his retirement.
 
2014-07-09 06:36:50 PM  
FTFA: "Rather he attributes the increased wait between novels to the many demands placed on him by the series' success, and all those tangential things he has to attend to now-the TV show, the merchandising, the blogging,"

Millions of writers wish they had this kind of problem.
 
2014-07-09 06:37:52 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: The Dunk and Egg books are in the same universe. I haven't read them, but that may be an option for the TV people if they need to stall for GRRM to write - throw in a 'prequel' season based on those books.


They're set in a different time period.  No way they could afford to cast the new stories, and keep the old cast on contract for a couple years of doing nothing while they wait to get back to the main story.

StrikitRich: Book 6 has already been turned in.....it's book 7 you should already be jonesing for.


Citation?  I've seen nothing saying he was done and submitted Book 6 and that's the type of thing that would normally get a lot of coverage.  Plus even once he does that, there's usually a bunch of revisions that need to be made after the editor goes through it.
 
2014-07-09 06:42:23 PM  
If you are going to be a big old nerd its good to be a king.
 
2014-07-09 06:47:38 PM  

clkeagle: Cpl.D: Here's the last page:


"... and then they all jumped in a pile and set each other on fire and everybody died.

THE END."sketchofmiddlefinger.jpg

"...upon his return, the Lord of Light was revealed to be none other than Orson Lannister, returned as a five hundred foot avatar. Orson reached for the wall, lifted a section high above his head, and proceded to thquish all the human beetles of the Seven Kingdoms."

PROLOGUE:
"...except Arya. She alone was spared, as a reminder of how expensive divorce can be to even the most successful writer in Westeros."


One of my absolute favorite quotes about religion in general was Tyrion paraphrasing the nightfires of the "Lord of Light":  Light our fire and protect us from the dark, blah, blah, light our way and keep us toasty warm, the night is full of terrors, save us from the scary thing, and blah blah blah some more.

It reminded me of my own internal dialogue at Easter Vigil services.
 
2014-07-09 07:19:12 PM  

StrikitRich: Book 6 has already been turned in.....it's book 7 you should already be jonesing for.


He's only submitted 168 manuscript pages of Winds of Winter to his editor.
 
2014-07-09 07:36:43 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: StrikitRich: Book 6 has already been turned in.....it's book 7 you should already be jonesing for.

He's only submitted 168 manuscript pages of Winds of Winter to his editor.


Maybe he's learned the value of brevity....
 
2014-07-09 07:38:47 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: StrikitRich: Book 6 has already been turned in.....it's book 7 you should already be jonesing for.

He's only submitted 168 manuscript pages of Winds of Winter to his editor.


I'm betting the show gets access to the drafts so they can start pulling together their scripts early. At least, I'd wrote that into the contact if I were setting up a show like this and the series has not been finished.
 
2014-07-09 07:47:22 PM  

Mad_Radhu: I'm betting the show gets access to the drafts so they can start pulling together their scripts early. At least, I'd wrote that into the contact if I were setting up a show like this and the series has not been finished.


The showrunners know the broad strokes of how it ends, but not the specifics as far as I know. So like if Stannis charges north of the Wall and sieges the Others, then gets killed by somebody - they'd know the major plot points - but they'd have to make up the how and why within their existing framework. We'll get a taste of how well they do this with Bran next season, since he's basically eaten up all his book material. That or they'll waste a season with him in a cave learning how to be a tree.
 
2014-07-09 08:15:34 PM  

Swampmaster: The last few volumes already drove me away... don't need more crap from this fat bag of shiat...

Now the series has some hotties in it; so there is that... and Peter D is the MAN. He's worth watching... but the books, and more chapters... nope.


Someone get Arya to poke him with Needle.
 
2014-07-09 08:21:22 PM  
Smeggy Smurf:Brandon Sanderson did a great job when Jordan died.  Perhaps he can do it for thisdumbs

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-09 09:27:04 PM  
books remaining divided by life expectancy gives a figure in books/year. He writes at a certain speed, also measured in books/year.

it`s a simple formula
 
2014-07-09 10:10:59 PM  
Too bad he pissed away all that time and effort on A Feast for Crows.  I still don't know why the fark I should have cared about nearly anything in that book.
 
2014-07-09 10:18:09 PM  
Speaking of that shiatty Feast of Crows, does anyone know what if anything the show is going to do with that book?  The only reason I can see them wasting their time and at least trying to blend it in with A Dance of Dragons is just to burn off more clock to allow Martin time to churn out at least one more book.
 
2014-07-09 10:53:28 PM  

Drubell: FTFA: "Rather he attributes the increased wait between novels to the many demands placed on him by the series' success, and all those tangential things he has to attend to now-the TV show, the merchandising, the blogging,"

Millions of writers wish they had this kind of problem.


Stephen King has all those tangential things and still writes 17 books a year
 
2014-07-09 10:58:56 PM  

metatronarchetype: I'm glad I got all of his shiatty books and television shows off of torrents instead of rewarding his lazy pervy fat ass by spending money on his products.  What a coont.  Here's a farking pro-tip for you Georgy boy, if you can't work while you're travelling, stop farking travelling and do your damn job.


So you're kind of a dick, huh?
 
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